Ouch.

That was my only thought when I woke up on Saturday morning. Everywhere hurt, especially my head. My mouth felt like it was made of sand and my eyes now seemed to detest light. Even the scent of fresh coffee being wafted under my nose didn't help, in fact it just made me feel worse.

I groaned, swatting it away with my hand and pulling the covers up over my head.

"Come on, Elena. Take the aspirin." Bonnie cooed ripping the blankets away from my body.

I moaned in protest, pathetically grabbing for my lost shelter.

"It'll make your head stop hurting."

Well, that did sound good. I grabbed the pills from her hand and washed them down with the water she passed me.

"I am never drinking again." I rasped, falling back onto the mattress.

"Yeah, right. I've heard that one before." Bonnie said placing the empty glass back on the nightstand.

"I'm serious this time."

"Uh huh," she smiled.

"How come you're so perky anyway?" I huffed, it didn't seem fair that she was cheerful and fresh when I felt like death.

"I dunno," she shrugged, "maybe it's because I didn't do shots with my boss last night."

"Oh god!" I groaned, covering my face with my palms. Sadly my hangover wasn't severe enough to erase my memory of the night before.

After I had realised that Damon was about to kiss me I'd quickly turned my head so that his lips hit my cheek and made my excuses, claiming that I felt sick and had to go to the bathroom. From there I pretty much bolted straight from the club into a taxi, into my bed and passed out.

"What was I thinking?" I mumbled, my voice muffled by the barrier of my hands.

"You were thinking that you needed to make yourself feel better after seeing the guy you've loved for two years dancing with your friend." She said holding my wrists and prying them away from my face.

"By leading on my man whore boss who can't even remember my name?"

"I don't judge you, Elena. Honestly, if anyone's going to fuck you well enough to forget all about Stefan, Damon's probably your guy."

"I do not want to fuck Damon Salvatore." I protested, the thought actually made me feel nauseous again, I had no interest in being a nameless face in Damon Salvatore's list of conquests, despite my actions the night before.

"Everyone wants to fuck Damon Salvatore, Elena. I think that's the point."

"Well you didn't really look impressed last night." I told her, recalling the horrified expression on her face.

"I was shocked! You haven't been with a guy in years and then I see you humping the boss you're always bitching about."

"I was not humping him!" I argued.

"Please, you were basically having sex with your clothes on."

"Bonnie!" I yelled, swatting her with my pillow.

"I'm just saying, you could do with an orgasm induced by an actual human man."

"What I could do with is not getting an STD from a gigolo," I countered.

"Fine," Bonnie laughed holding her hands up, "but it might make you feel better."

I raised my brow at her.

"Also, I know you've been out of the game for a while, but there are these things now called condoms that prevent that sort of thing."

I hit her with my pillow again and she laughed pushing me away.

"So…have you spoken to Caroline today?" I asked quietly, looking down and pretending to inspect my now slightly chipped manicure.

"Not today, no." She answered, I nodded. "But she didn't go home with Stefan if that's what you mean."

My head shot up, "she didn't?"

Bonnie shook her head. "I shared a cab home with her, she said she didn't want to 'come across as a slut'."

"Right," I snorted, "that'll be a first."

"Don't be mad at Caroline," Bonnie said looking up at me, "she doesn't know how you feel about him."

"That is not true, I distinctly remember telling her I was in love with my boss that night we had long island iced teas at that tikki bar. I was sitting with her and I told her!"

"Wasn't that the night she vomited out the side of a cab?" She asked looking at me unconvincingly.

"Yes..."

"Elena, come on." Bonnie sighed throwing her head back, "she couldn't even remember her own name that night, never mind your confession of love for someone she didn't even know."

"Whose side are you on?" I knew I sounded like a bitch but I figured I had the right.

"You know I'm on your side, Elena. Always." She smiled, giving my leg a slight squeeze where it stuck out from under the covers.

"Did she say anything about him?" I could sense her hesitation to the question.

"She didn't say much, just that he 'gave her butterflies'." She said making air quotations with her fingers and putting on a high pitched girly voice.

"And what did you say?"

"I told her to never say that phrase again." The side of her mouth quirked up and I returned her smile.

She gave my leg another squeeze and stood up, making her way to the door. "Don't take too long to sober up or I won't make you any lunch."


One coffee and a shower later I emerged from my room feeling marginally better than I did when I'd woken. My head still felt foggy but now it was more of a dull ache rather than severe throbbing. I made my way to the kitchen where Bonnie stood washing last night's dishes and shaking her hips along to the radio. I collapsed into a chair at the table which caused the wooden legs to screech against the floor.

"Good morning, sunshine." Bonnie called out merrily. I grunted in response, pushing away wet strands of hair that stuck to my face.

"Omelette?" She asked walking over to where I bent over the table and handing me a bottle of water.

"Yeah, thanks Bonnie." I gave her a small smile and starting sipping at the water. A few minutes later she placed the steaming eggs down in front of me along with some toast and took a seat opposite me sipping on a coffee.

I looked down at the food sceptically, my stomach ached and I wasn't sure if it was down to sickness or hunger. I didn't want to seem ungrateful, especially when Bonnie was looking at me expectantly over her coffee cup, so I picked up the toast and began to slowly chew. The more I ate the less tender my stomach began to feel and soon I was wolfing it down, shovelling the eggs into my mouth until nothing was left.

"Thanks Bonnie, that was great." I hiccupped, inelegantly wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"I can tell," she smirked at me. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"I have no idea," I shrugged. "I'll probably just veg out in front of the TV and eat my weight in chocolate. Wanna join?"

"I have that date with Luka tonight," she said.

"Oh yeah, of course," I mumbled. I wondered if Caroline and Stefan would be out on a date tonight. No doubt Caroline would put out on the first date.

"I can cancel."

"Why would you do that?" I asked confused.

"You need a friend right now. I mean, what if I go out and come back to find that you've choked to death on chocolate and your own tears."

"I think I'll be fine, Bonnie."

"Just keep your phone close by, just in case." She smiled.


A few hours later Bonnie left me to go and meet Luka so I got my duvet and every snack I could find in the kitchen cupboards and set up camp on the couch. I started to browse through our DVD collection but found the task of picking out a movie difficult when I realised pretty much the only genre we own is romance. I really didn't want to see hot guys kissing girls and couples falling in love right now. After relentless digging around I finally came across the Harry Potter box set.

Perfect.

It only took me half of the first movie before the tears started to flow. The image of Hermoine being attacked by a troll somehow seemed like a metaphor for my life, and once I'd started I couldn't seem to make myself stop.

During the second movie and my second box of chocolates, my hysteria eventually began to ease up and now only the occasional tear leaked from my eyes. Shoving my hand in the box below me I pulled out the final chocolate and popped it in my mouth, letting it melt on my tongue. Just as I made a move to swallow, another wave of emotion bubbled up making me gasp for breath, which resulted in the chocolate going down my windpipe instead. I shot up on the couch, white knuckling the armrest in an attempt to breathe. Oh my god, Bonnie was right. This is how I'm going to die. Even more tears began to stream down my face and I bent over trying to stimulate the Heimlich manoeuvre on myself. Finally the semi-chewed chocolate burst out of my throat landing in a soggy splat on the carpet. I fell back gasping oxygen back into my burning lungs and calming down my now erratic heartbeat.

After spending several minutes regaining my composure and clearing the chocolate spit gloop up off the carpet, I figured it was time to call it a night so I made my way to my bed and settled in for what was sure to be a night of insomnia.


I'm not sure if I actually got any sleep on Saturday night and if I did it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours. At 7am on Sunday morning I decided to give up on the pretence of sleep and got up to go running. It helped more than I thought it would, releasing some of my pent up frustration and giving me something else to focus on other than the vivid images of Caroline and Stefan in explicit scenes that my mind had conjured up the night before.

When I returned I took a bath with every salt, foam and oil that I could find and by the time I was starting to prepare dinner I was feeling slightly more relaxed than I had yesterday.

At 1pm there was a knock on the door and I quickly turned down the heat on the tomato sauce I was working on to greet my guest with a goofy smile.

"Jer!" I squealed, throwing my arms tightly around his neck whilst he lifted my feet off the floor and held me close.

"Hey sis," he smiled, setting me back on my feet and rubbing my head roughly, which caused my hairs to go static and stand on end. "How are you?"

"I'm great," I lied. "How about you?"

"I'm good," he told me as we made our way through to the kitchen. I got us both a beer out of the fridge and went back to making up the tomato sauce. He started telling me about how his new job was going and I listened intently, feeling happier than I had all weekend.

Jeremy had recently graduated college and had landed himself his dream job doing graphic design for a company that did comics and helped with the designs for movies and cartoons. It was only an internship for now but he seemed pretty sure it would turn into a full time position.

He was trying to explain to me how they turned a still image into an animation when Bonnie walked in, struggling with several grocery bags.

"Hi Jeremy!" Bonnie called from behind the pile in her arms.

"Hey Bonnie," he laughed, making his way over to help her unpack.

"Jeez, did you get enough wine?" he asked, pulling bottle after bottle out of one of the bags. "How did you even carry all this?"

"Hey, I'm stronger than I look." She pouted, flexing her biceps.

I smiled to myself as I cooked, I loved my brother dearly and having him around never failed to make me happy, even now when I felt like my heart had literally been torn out of my chest, the scarring wasn't as bad in his company.

After they had unpacked, Jeremy went to the bathroom and Bonnie joined me at the stove, opening up a beer for herself.

"Has your brother always been that hot?" She asked sliding along the counter so we stood shoulder to shoulder.

"Ew, Bonnie!" I cringed.

"What, it's a compliment." She shrugged, taking a gulp of her beer.

"No, it isn't!" I hissed, she'd never said anything like this about Jeremy before. He was practically a brother to her too, seeing as they'd known each other their entire lives.

"To him it is."

"So tell him, not me!" My face was starting to ache from the disgusted look that was etched onto it. "Besides," I whispered, "what about Luka?"

"A girl can look." She smirked, bringing the bottle to her lips again. I seriously hoped that she was messing with me. I mean, I knew my brother was good looking and everything but it was still a gross thing to think about in too much depth.

Thirty minutes later I was serving up lasagne onto plates and the three of us sat down to start eating.

"So, Jeremy," Bonnie started, "you look good. Have you been working out more?"

I choked a little on the pasta I was chewing and Jeremy leant over chuckling and patting my back.

"Yeah, actually I have. After breaking up with Anna I've had a lot of spare time on my hands."

"What, you broke up with Anna?" I asked surprised. "When?"

"About five weeks ago." He said casually putting another forkful of food into his mouth.

"Five weeks! Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. He'd been with Anna for just over two years so I figured that them breaking up was a big deal.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't really want to talk about it." He said looking at me apologetically.

"Of course, I'm sorry," I mumbled. "Are you OK?"

"I'm doing great actually, I've got an awesome job, I'm meeting loads of new people and it gave me the chance to get to the gym again…which is clearly paying off." He smirked at Bonnie, bringing his beer up to his lips. She smirked back at him, but looked my way when I sent her an appalled stare, she just shrugged at me.

Conversation didn't stay awkward for long, Bonnie started to explain the concept of the Tyler Lockwood video she was in and how she had some auditions next week to be an extra in a Broadway musical. Too soon Jeremy was hugging me goodbye and my weekend was drawing to a close. After drinking some wine and watching the third Harry Potter movie with Bonnie, we headed off to bed and I lay in dread of what seeing Stefan tomorrow would be like.


Monday morning I woke up before my alarm. I'd had another light and restless attempt at sleep, after being distracted for the course of the day, my brain apparently wanted to catch me up on all the destructive thoughts I'd missed.

For once I dragged myself out of my cocoon of sheets earlier than I needed to and dedicated extra time into doing some crunches and making sure I looked flawless. I may have felt like crap but I certainly didn't need to look it. I spent time precariously applying layers of concealer to my dark circles, which were extra visible due to all the lack of sleep and tears I had cried last night.

I got to work on autopilot, my mind too preoccupied with thoughts of Stefan to focus on walking. When I entered the main lobby I was stopped short by the familiar back of a head stood waiting at the bank of elevators. I couldn't see his face, but I knew that it was Damon, he stood calm and collected, the power of authority practically radiating off him, making sure that everyone kept a reasonable distance away from him. Well, every male anyway. I hung back, hiding behind a pillar in the lobby and pretending to check my phone while waiting for him to head up to the office before I went and waited with the next intake of people. This was bad, I wasn't even at work yet and I'd almost had a run in with Damon, maybe I should just quit now and save myself the awkwardness.

When I got up to the office and entered the reception, April was occupied welcoming two well-dressed, middle aged men into the waiting area, eliminating any chance of gossip. She silently slid the stack of mail to the end of the desk and I swiped them up as I walked past shooting her a small smile. I realised that during my busy schedule of grieving over the weekend I had forgotten to call April and apologise for leaving early on Friday night.

I headed on through to my desk, doing my usual routine of ditching my purse, feeding the fish and preparing Stefan's office for his arrival. I tried not to linger too long on his photo when a single glance made my throat feel thick with emotion and my eyes burn. I refused to cry at work. Luckily Stefan was out at meetings for the whole morning, so I had some more time to mentally prepare myself before I saw him.

I settled in at my desk and decided to try and stick my head into work in the hope that it might keep my thoughts occupied with something other than Stefan Salvatore. I was working through replying to emails from over the weekend when a new one popped up from April.

From: aprilyoung
Sent:
11 August 2014 9:13
To:
elenagilbert
Subject:
Salvatore Sex

What happened to you the other night? I saw you dancing with Damon and then you were gone. Did you go home with him!? OMG how was he – incredible no doubt! I want ALL the details!

- April

Oh god. April's questions put memories that I'd been trying to repress from Friday back into my head. I cringed and clunked my head against the top of the desk as images of myself trying to sexy dance flashed through my mind. I quickly hit reply.

From: elenagilbert
Sent:
11 August 2014 9:16
To:
aprilyoung
Subject:
RE: Salvatore Sex

No, I definitely did not go home with Damon, nor will I ever go home with him! I did way too many shots and ended up dancing with him but that was all. I'm so embarrassed! I doubt he remembers it though, I'm sure that when I left he had his pick of willing girls to take home and screw.

I'm sorry for bailing so early. I hope you had a good night?

- Elena

After exchanging a few more emails with April she eventually dropped the whole Damon thing. I got back into answering more serious emails from various departments and associates, however it didn't take long staring at the computer screen before my lack of sleep decided to catch up on me, after yawning for the fifth time in a row, I clicked on voicemail and made my way to the kitchen for a serious dose of caffeine.

I exited the kitchen a few minutes later only to look up the hallway and be stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of Damon walking towards me. I immediately turned around to dart in the other direction before he spotted me, but some of the guys from accounting were behind me blocking my path. I turned back to face Damon like a deer caught in the headlights, I'm fairly certain time went into slow motion as I saw him glance up and look into my wide eyes with no sign of emotion showing on his face. He remained cool and stoic as he flicked his eyes down my body and then returned his focus to the iPhone in his hand.

My mouthed opened and closed trying to think of something to say, what the hell is an appropriate thing to say in this situation? 'Hey boss, sorry about the cock tease the other night'? It didn't matter anyway, I didn't have time to say anything in the few seconds it took him to pass by and enter the restroom, so instead I just stood there opening and closing my mouth repetitively like some sort of confused, shocked fish. I stood stationary in the corridor whilst the accountants dodged around me, looking at me like I was crazy, after being asked if I was ok I mumbled a response and scurried back to my desk to deal with the return of the other Salvatore.

At precisely 11:37 Stefan strolled into the office. He held his jacket over his arm and the sleeves of his navy shirt had been rolled back, he approached me with a jaw-aching smile which would usually have me feeling giddy but after current events it instead gave me a cold sense of foreboding.

"Good morning, Elena!" He chirped merrily, setting his briefcase down on my desk.

"Morning," I returned, attempting a smile.

"How's everything been this morning?"

"Perfect." I pretended to read an email on my computer as to avoid any eye contact, I knew once I got caught in those green depths I would burst into tears.

"Hey, thanks for introducing me to Caroline." I didn't introduce you.

"We hung out all weekend, she's great." Yeah, sure. Great at being a slut.

"It's not weird, right?" This is my window. Tell him. Tell him it's weird.

"What, why would it be weird? I don't care. Caroline's like whatever, I don't care about her or you, so…" Shut the fuck up, Elena! I let out a nervous laugh.

"Good." It sounded more like a question, but I just kept staring at my screen intently. I could see him shoot me a funny look in my peripheral vision as he picked up his case and made his way towards his office. Just when I thought it was all over and I could finally crawl into a hole and die he paused in the doorway.

"Hey, what kind of flowers does she like?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. I looked in his direction but still refused to meet his stare.

"Roses? Lilies?"

"I don't really-"

"You know what, could you just organise a general bouquet to be sent to her?" The shock of the question finally made my gaze flick up to his. Send them yourself asshole!

"Oh, lots of pink." He winked. He actually winked! A week ago that would have made my ovaries explode now it just made my eyes well up with unshed tears and my throat constrict. He finally closed the door behind him and settled into his office, but not before taking the framed photograph of him and Lexi and shoving it in one of his desk draws.

After a pep talk in the bathroom mirror and another dose of caffeine I bitterly ordered the bouquet to be sent to Caroline's apartment, I did make sure that it contained absolutely no pink though.

The remainder of the week continued much in the same way, I watched Stefan be overly happy and enthusiastic with me whilst casually asking questions about Caroline and I avoided running into Damon again at all costs. Caroline tried to contact me a few times over the course of the week but I avoided her calls, I was definitely not ready to deal with her yet. By the time Friday rolled around I was itching to drown my sorrows in tequila again, this time without the company of Caroline and the Salvatore brothers.

It was coming to the end of the 10am Friday management meeting and I was mentally counting down the hours until I could drink away my feelings. After Monday's hallway incident I'd successfully managed to avoid Damon all week, even now sat around the same boardroom table he hadn't even cast me so much as a sideward glance. He was currently explaining to the group that Stefan, Logan and Carol would be out in Las Vegas the following week overseeing the opening of the new Salvatore & Co. hotel. Thank god. For the first time since meeting Stefan I couldn't wait to be away from him. The constant Caroline interrogation was driving me insane and the sight of his beautiful, happy face every day was not making the grieving process any easier on me. I needed nothing more than a stress free week where I could leave work early and escape the constant reminder that I was doomed to be alone forever.

"Finally, as you will all be aware, Andie will be leaving us at the end of today," Damon announced. Lucky bitch.

"I just want to take this opportunity to thank her for all her hard work over the past three years and good luck for the future." He flashed his panty-dropping smirk at her and she blushed, coyly tucking her hair behind her ears and smiling back at everyone who mumbled their 'good lucks' at her.

"As Andie's replacement won't be joining us until next Monday," he continued, "next week Ellen will be assisting me while Stefan is away."

WHAT?

"I didn't agree to this," Stefan interrupted.

"What's there to agree on? She'll be low on things to do and I need an assistant."

"She'll have more than enough to be overseeing for me. You can't just take her, you can get a temp in."

"Why would I do that when I have an underutilised assistant at my disposal?" Damon was irritable.

"Have you even asked Elena?"

"Do you have a problem with this?" Damon asked, staring at me expectantly. Yes, I totally have a problem. Kill me, kill me right now.

"No, Sir." I said shaking my head and flashing a strained smile which probably made me look like I was in pain.

"That's settled then," he said shooting Stefan a triumphant smirk. He stood up from his chair and fastened the singular button on his suit jacket. "Ellen, you'll work from Andie's desk next week." He began to make his way out of the boardroom, effectively ending the meeting. Others quickly followed while some stuck around to say their goodbyes to Andie. I sat motionless in my chair staring blankly ahead, my thoughts racing at a thousand miles a minute. A week working for Damon…Fuck.


First of all, I just want to thank each and every one of you for the overwhelming support for this story. I love each and every one of you and am sending out virtual hugs to you all!

I know a lot of you will probably be annoyed by the lack of Delena action in this chapter but I promise that it is coming!

Once again let me know what you all thought and I'll see you in chapter 4 ;)