Agony: My Salvation and Existence

After I had gone to the dorms, I went to sleep. My dreams were of that girl from before.

"Hello Tsukune. I see that you have adapted to your surroundings as usual. You'll soon get to meet me in your world, but first you must experience mine." said the girl. At that, she took my hand and guided me through a hellish landscape. Around me, men charged at each other to rip each other apart again and again, young children cried for their mothers that were none existent here, men and women came together to perform thousands of sexual acts not describable here, and women cut themselves up with knives. All of this was just an infinite quest to try to satisfy emotions that were unsatisfied in life. Most would consider hell, but I know better. This existence is simply the inevitable for us all, everyone eventually will be here. Until we die under an emotional excess, we will simply come back over and over again. Karin told me that, for she learned it from one of the more, coherent demons here. This place isn't heaven or hell, it simply is. All of them are trying to satisfy urges that were unmet in the human world, sometimes that means going back to it. That's sadly what happened with me, that's who my demon was. He was one who thought he could satisfy his emotions by going back to Earth. What I didn't understand is why she led me here? I knew she was a demon, who else would know the stuff she did, but she didn't seem like the type that would lead me here.

"Umm, may I ask why you brought me here? I know what this place is, so why do I need to experience it?" I asked. Rather than immediately replying, she spun around and then did something kind of freaky. She got out a knife and cut on her face with random motions seemingly. While she was doing this, her whole body warped and twisted as if being fought over. I realized that was exactly what was happening, this was multiple demons stuck in the same body. I knew why this happened, one demon wanted access to the human world and another had it. Then maybe a third entered because it too wanted access to the human world. The first is quite powerful, therefore is able to convince the second quite easily. The third will probably be weaker, but will know how to manipulate people better. That's what was happening here. Eventually, it responded to my question verbally.

"I have taken you here to understand that you shouldn't fear this place. I know you do, you don't want to come here. You think that emotion will ultimately betray you like all these people here, but you're wrong. Everyone here eventually comes to peace with their emotions; it just takes a very long time. In a sense, they are serving time in hell. The difference here is that they are being punished by their own emotions, rather than by god. Those that committed suicide foolishly believed that their problems would end by death. They were wrong; depression followed them here to torture them. Those consumed by true love thought they would be forced to leave their lovers when they came here. They were wrong; they would have to continue their servitude to love here. Those in lust thought their lust would end in death. They were wrong; their fantasies still torture them here. Here, emotions rule them. Their bodies are reformed to serve their emotions. Their minds are forced to come to grips with it. Most of all, they learn that the end will only come from fulfillment of these emotions. You know all of this, but you think you can't deal with it. You're wrong, everyone can and will deal with it. Everyone will eventually come here, for the only way to ever reach the true end is to reach an emotional extreme. You must let emotions completely dominate every part of your body. You must reach fulfillment, I'm here to teach you that." She said. Her voice sounded like three people's voices combined into one. One of the voices sounded like Karin. Another sounded like a deep man's voice. The final one sounded like the voice of a woman in her 40s whose voice was very motherly. The first sounds like the average voice a teenage girl with a slight bit of sweetness added. The second sounds deep and very enraged, like the voice of a man who just discovered his wife cheating on him. The final one sounds like a woman in love that's unrequited, very sweet and sad at once. All together, they don't sound like any person. They sounded more like what the voice of hell would be like if it existed. Fortunately, after a little bit, they decided to take turns speaking. It is very strange though, like listening to three different people talk to you in the same conversation.

One suddenly spoke to me, the one that sounded like Karin. "Tsukune, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I didn't know how to confess to you. I had a lust so strong that I couldn't understand it. It's why I helped you so much, not out of love but out of lust. Lust has consumed me, I can't control it anymore. It has control of me, that's why I'm even here right now. Mixed in with it is depression and lo-" said Karin.

"SILENCE! You know our arrangement works differently than that. I must be able to have my share too of this boy. You can't speak to him now. I understand that you want him, but I want love too. Remember what our arrangement was, we will all get him, not anyone of us. Before that, we must help our friend get revenge." The woman said.

"That's right! I got to kill that FUCKING BITCH! The fucking bitch who gave me up for a wealthy husband who happened to be my asshole boss. Both of those fuckers must DIE! They must burn for what they did to me! She divorced me, he killed me. They caused me to eventually kill myself. I realized too late that the only way to ever get vengeance is to kill both of those fuckers!" He yelled.

"SHUT UP! We get it; your wife is a fucking bitch. Just give us some goddamn fucking time to establish our own link, then you can kill her. As for you Wendy, wait in fucking line! I know that you loved him once, but that was a fucking lie. You know that you were just owned by his father. He never knew you, what good will your love do for him now! At least I could help him. At least I tried to free him. Sadly, I had to die to prevent the demon from getting too much influence. My own lust caused that, my own fucking lust. I know what you wanted to do with your son! The contract's effects actually transferred to him; therefore you can't help loving him. At least he didn't abuse you, unlike the motherfucker who started all this." said Karin.

"Perhaps so, but I can't help fucking being here, can I? More importantly, at least my love wasn't as filthy as yours. I know what you wanted him to do with you. I know what sick fantasies you had. You know that he will never wan-" Wendy said.

"FUCK YOU! You don't understand. Besides, love and lust are heavily linked. Otherwise, how do you explain your own lust for your own son? You know that he affects everyone the same way, girls lust after him for it. It's something that he can't help and tries to get rid of. Most men would love it, but he thinks he'll hurt everyone that gets close to him. You may love him in that way because of the contract, but it still is sick itself. So before you accuse me of having sick fantasies, examine yourself." Karin responded.

Their conversation and the sounds around me were driving me insane. All around me, I heard thousands of moans of pleasure, screams of agony and weeping from something lost. While hearing that, I heard a demon arguing with two other demons. I had just found out that Karin was a demon. I'm not sure how to deal with that, I guess I should've anticipated this. I should have known that in her emotional state, she would be perfect for becoming a demon. Not only did she lust, she has severe depression, and on top of all that, she did have love, despite what she thinks. Love may have not been the strongest emotion of the three, but it was there. It scared me to see a demon of this type, one of the few things that does inspire fear in me. They were right, I did fear this place. Not because it was hell, but because being here would mean I had let emotion conquer me. It meant everyone had to give into an emotional extreme sooner or later. That scared me, especially because I hate emotional extremes. They never seemed to give me anything.

"Tsukune! You must understand something. Don't run from this place, it will only hurt you. Don't try to shut out your emotions, they will only come back to haunt you here. The true ultimate sin is chastity for it denies fulfillment. Fulfillment of emotion is what the end is all about. Only through that do we eventually come to terms with ourselves. Please, don't fear this place." Karin said.

I ran like hell rather than responding. This place isn't hell, but that doesn't mean that it can't inspire fear. But I couldn't run, no matter how much I wanted to. I felt as if I was being held in place. Suddenly, the demon recombined. It still had the voice of Karin, but now it was at an uneasy peace with its transformation again. It told me this, "I can't let you run, besides, there is nowhere to run to here. We are in the world of demons, really the world of emotions. Your kind simply calls us demons because we harm them. They don't realize that all shall eventually be here. It's in fact time to leave, but you'll be back here tomorrow." She said to me.

I woke up after that. But I realize where I had been, the world of demons. I was freaked out because I saw what Karin had become. Karin had become an incredibly powerful demon, but didn't have access to the human world. In order to get access, a demon must have a couple things. First was a reason to come back, second was an object they owned to still be here, and finally you needed a strong link with a person. If a demon didn't have an object of theirs here, they would have to find one. She had to find an object she was close with. The man she was with probably was close with the bed he discovered his wife in, and because he knew of it, was able to return. Karin would probably need to find the object she committed suicide with to return. That's why she needed him; she didn't know where the object was. While she did jump off a building to commit suicide, she landed on a car when she landed. She would have to find that exact car before she could enter our world without help. Who knows where that car is now though?

When I woke up, I immediately stabbed myself. Always had to do that, you never know when the other demon will rise. After that, I went through a morning routine most probably go through. The whole time I thought over what Karin meant by me by the fact that girls lust after me but can't help it? I realized that it was true though, how else would the demon inside me have convinced all those other girls to kill for him, but I thought that had been because of him. I didn't know that I, in of myself, was that attractive to girls. I also had tried to make myself unappealing to try to save people from the demon. From the sound of what Karin said, that was pointless. No matter how hard I tried, people would always want to get close to me. That seemed to be the case judging by what the demon did back then. No matter how hard I tried, nothing would protect people seemingly. Rather than crying, which is what maybe other people would've done, I stabbed myself. I did so again and again in the vain hope of killing the other side of me. The more I stabbed him, the more he had to heal. He grew quite weak, but this was pointless. I stopped after 10 minutes of heavy stabbing. I then went to class.

On the way there, I felt like I was being followed. I looked around constantly, but saw no one. When I got to class, nothing changed from my previous school experiences. I went through classes like a zombie and went back to the emotionless self I'm normally. My face became the same dull face it normally was. It was then I noticed the girls that did stare at me. Why was I so attractive to them? Just my luck I guess, the one person who doesn't want to be attractive to the opposite sex is incredibly. I heard the demon laughing inside me. I wasn't surprised; no matter what I did he seemed to win in the end. He would have his fill, unless I died before then. I had to find that person that could help me here and fast. But how, I have no social skills. More importantly, I didn't know anyone here yet that could freeze things into ice.

When I left for classes, I had two problems. The first was that I had to find the person here that could help me. The second and more pressing problem at the moment was that I had to join a club. The teacher said it was to help me, "integrate into human society." Well, while that is admittedly a valid complaint for someone like me, I kind of have a reason. Hey, try getting possessed by a demon and see how well it works out when it comes to integration in human society. Anyway, it looks like I should search for a club. I eventually decided on the movie club because it had very few people and was actually one of my hobbies. Yeah, somehow between being ripped apart by a demon and trying to avoid everybody, I found time to watch movies. It was one of the few things that allowed me to forget the real world.

So, I went to the movie club that afternoon. There, I saw a small girl who wore a witch costume. She looked like she was 11, perhaps she was a prodigy that was kicked out of society by it. "Hey, can I join the movie club?" I asked her. She looked up, surprised that anyone came to join the club I guess, and smiled. That day we didn't watch anything because we didn't have enough club members yet. So instead, we talked about our favorite movies. Her favorite genre was exploitation flicks which is kind of creepy for an 11 year old. My favorite genre was and is horror movies. Not most of them though because they don't quite work out, however, there are a few that I like because they are good enough to let me forget the world. Eventually, I left again for the dorm. Overall, wasn't too bad, but I had to watch the demon to make sure he didn't rise again. Had to make 3 big cuts to make up for the time I wasn't cutting. Worked like a charm. So, I went to the dorm and prepared for sleep, unsure of what I would find there.

Karin) I knew what I wanted. The fantasies didn't leave that in question. Instead, it was too revealing so I hated it. I know them quite well now; after all, I'm in a world ruled by them now in a sense. There is one I remember from when I was still alive I still have sometimes.

"You sure you want me to do this? Is this even legal in any way?" Tsukune asked.

"Oh hell no is it acceptable for us to do this but please do continue. I want you to, fulfill me." I replied.

"Karin, you're almost bleeding and I think you've more bruises than I have cuts. You also have plenty of cuts too, I think I should sto-" said Tsukune.

"NO! Continue, this give me more than you'll ever understand. I know you think its nuts to enjoy this, but I LOVE every second of this, please continue. PLEASE!" I said.

"Okay, but not much longer, I don't want to hurt you." Tsukune said. At that, he continued. I would cum many times before the fantasy ended, at least 3. Back then, I would try to control it. I tried to pinch myself out of daydreaming them, but they just invaded my normal dreams instead. I knew this caused me to be frustrated and depressed; both of these fed the demon inside Tsukune. So, I killed myself thinking that I could maybe save him some pain. It didn't work; instead, it almost drove him to the breaking point. He needed me, just not in the same way I needed him. He loved me, but only in a platonic way. I don't really think he has sexual desires anymore, not after dealing with the demon as long as he has.

Now, I'm inside a tri-demon with two other fucks, one who happens to know Tsukune, the other who doesn't. The one who does is his true mother, really just another whore really. I know what she really wants to do with him, she just wants to fuck his brains his out like the rest of them. The other guy, a man whose wife cheated on him with his boss who killed him, he is just a raging asshole. I don't blame him for it, but still, why the fuck can't he understand that he needs to be patient? I need to find that fucking car that I fell on. It is probably in a junkyard somewhere by now, but I still try to find it. I actually know what country and city it is in, Tokyo, Japan, but not exactly where inside. Yeah, large area to cover obviously, Tokyo is only couple thousand kilometers. I had to find that fucking car though because otherwise, I would never get reunited with my love.

If only Tsukune understood, you can't avoid this place. I once feared this place too, every since that demon took me here. The demon that brought me here always was either crying or silent. The reason why is it was a combination of 69 different people. 50 of them were people who committed mass suicide on a deserted island. The other 19 were lovers that died in a war away from their spouses or girlfriends at home. So yeah, it isn't very surprising that it either cries a lot or is silent. It treated me well enough when I went there though. It said that my grandfather was among them and that two of the people who kill themselves on the island were genetically related to me. So, it was taking me here so it could see me. It also took me here because the demon as a whole had one goal at the moment, to protect all the people related to the lovers. That meant from themselves sometimes too, like in my case. So, they showed me a sight that would drive many insane and taught me life is sweet, because this is what is waiting for you if you commit suicide, servitude to depression until it is fulfilled.

This demon was quite powerful to say the least. It could teleport, had the ability to suck the life out of someone, and had rifles growing out of its back. Those rifles could be fired at any time. Not only that, it had only one weakness and it was an extremely rare weakness. If a person related to one of the lovers killed it, it would die. I was the only person alive that was related to any of the lovers, because all the other lovers' spouses had been killed in the war. I wasn't planning to kill it anytime soon, so it was invincible for now.

What I learned though later the hard way was that we all will enter emotional extremes sooner or later. It was supposed to happen, without it, we would never get a chance at gaining fulfillment. Fulfillment is the ultimate goal. The problem is that Tsukune now distrusts emotional extremes and demons. He doesn't understand that this place is inevitable. Trying to be emotionless will only hurt him more. That is part of why I must unite with him. The other reason is that I must fulfill myself. I know it's selfish, but I can't help it. That is why my own weakness is so strange now. The only thing that will kill me now is if Tsukune gives into his lust. That is what is so weird about us, the only way to gain fulfillment is also the way we will die. So until Tsukune does so, I'm invincible but also unfulfilled. It is a cruel situation that all demons endure. The person they need fulfillment from is likely to never want to give in. Tsukune getting horny enough any time soon is unlikely, unless I interfere. If I meet him, maybe he will, but only if I get to spend all the time I want with him. So until I find that fucking car and get Tsukune alone with me, I'll be unfulfilled.

(Author's Note: Hi guys, looks like I'll be able to finally give you something. For all of you out there that may be fans of exploitation or horror movies, there may be some surprises in here. Please review.)