Hello! I know I took a really long time to update, but I had so many things I had to deal with (College and all that). However here it is! The next chapter! *Claps*
Okay, I have one big, gigantic, WARNING. The contents in this chapter may, how can I say it, UPSET you. You may end up screaming why?! That is not logic! This is stupid! But please take into account that this is necessary for the plot. I am trying to describe each one of the characters, not only the main characters. It is somehow difficult to explain, but you will understand later; I promise.
That being said, I hope you like this chapter!
Greetings,
Danise Nowak
Ch. 2 Closed Doors
"This is so boooooring." Alfred whined.
Matthew and Francis sighed. From the moment they had left the capital behind, Alfred hadn't stopped whining about everything; and everything meant, literally, everything. From the way the sun shined and didn't let him open his eyes without having the urge to sneeze, to the ugly color of the mud their horses were stepping on. That had started three days ago. Three days with their ears full of Alfred's stupid complains. Honestly, they were also bored. Who wouldn't? Outside of the capital there were only plains covered with short green grass and random fields of flowers. Of course, at the beginning, the change of scenery had been welcomed by them. The odor-free air that filled their noses, the calm that surrounded them and the pressure-free feeling was not something they could despise, but after three hours it was just too much nature, too much space surrounding them, too much calm. They were city boys and they couldn't deny it. They were used to the life within a city. The adrenaline of running through the streets between horses, selling carts and people in Alfred's case. The solicitude of a quiet room where you could read in peace for hours in Matthew's case. People to talk, or interact, in Francis's case. Even with the chants of the birds and the occasional small animal, mostly fast rabbits, running close enough to hear the rumor of the grass moving as they passed, the silence was disturbing. That is why right now they were not in the best mood. They wanted to see something familiar, something close to civilization or similar to the life they were used to. Unfortunately, the next nearest town, to the north of course because they were heading in that direction, was several kilometers away, where the first small, but still the biggest for them, forest appeared.
Said town could be seen right now by the three travelers. They only had to force their eyes a little bit to distinguish diffused shadows which could be described as buildings, most likely houses, in the horizon. The fact that they could see that indicated how close they actually were to the town. Even so, Alfred was still bored and kept doing everything he could to bother his two companions. As close as they could be, it was still too far for him. The landscape around hadn't changed at all. After three days of riding a horse through fields of green and occasional spots of colorful flowers, he was tired of it. The little he could see, not even the complete profile of the closest house, of the town didn't comfort him at all.
"We will arrive to the town in less than one hour, Alfred. Be patient." Matthew said clenching and unclenching his fists. Francis smirked. So even the little Matthew, someone recognized for having a legendary patience towards Alfred's hyperactivity, was getting tired of the warrior?
"But Mattieeeee" Alfred whined again. Francis was starting to hate the childish ring the warrior used to do it. "That town looks so boring!" Alfred continued. "Lumberjacks and farmers. Nothing of my interest. I bet it is a tiny town, not big enough to deserve the title of town, what can I find there? Nothing."
"I am pretty sure every town has a blacksmith." Matthew said in a harsh tone and sending Alfred a dark look. "You will not get bored."
"There are also women!" Francis chirped comforted by the idea of someone warming his bed after so long. "You will never get bored with them."
"Small town blacksmiths are not useful, Mattie. They only know how to make basic swords, but mostly tools used for farming."
Francis frowned when he was completely ignored by the two youngsters. What was their problem? Were they not men? Did they not feel men's necessities? They couldn't be considered men with that kind of attitude.
"You are not in the city anymore, Al!" Matthew exclaimed exasperated. "Don't expect too much. Even so, they say that little towns tend to have more secrets than an enchantment book; especially towns in the north."
"Why is that?" Curiosity dripped from Alfred's words like honey after the mage's statement.
"They didn't have as much protection as the south. They had to create methods to defend themselves." Matthew muttered looking at the town ahead. "Interesting methods."
Alfred didn't say more. He knew Matthew came from one of those northern towns, but he never spoke of his life there. He had tried to ask, but met only with silence. During their years as students in the Academy, Matthew sometimes returned to his home, but not a word was said about his time there. A frown appeared in his temple. Matthew was so complicated; always keeping secrets, even from him, his oldest friend! But no one could blame him. They had learnt that it was better to remain in silence about the past unless you wanted enemies or become more vulnerable than a baby. And if you were vulnerable, you were a perfect victim to manipulate. They only made that mistake once, when they were so young and innocent that the world's evil was something they had not yet discovered, and they were still paying for it.
Not wanting to irritate the magician more, Alfred opted to look around. Maybe he could discover some of those secrets northerners hid so well. He leaned his body forward so that he didn't have to grab the reins of the horse putting instead his hand over the white mane of the animal, and looked to the ground.
The green grass was slowly disappearing and small bushes replaced it, but not normal bushes. Thorns and spikes formed those grayish bushes which constantly got jammed with clothes. It was safer to wear a pair of thick boots or ride a horse, as they were doing, in order to avoid that irritating problem. Mud covered everything making the landscape appear a little depressing and considerably dark. Yeah, maybe the green grass wasn't so bad after all. The horse kicked a rock with its hoof startling Alfred. He sat straight on the saddle and raised his eyes to look around. The plain, because it was still a plain, was covered with sharp unstable rocks that were constantly being kicked by the horses.
"Maybe there is a mine near." Alfred thought looking at the amount of rocks on the ground.
A mine. That would make the town more interesting.
"I really need to take a bath."
Francis's voice made Alfred leave his little world of fantasy and return to his companions' side. He turned to look at the man with his eyes fixed on the figure of his captain. Francis had his hair tied up in a horsetail at the back of his neck with a black leather strap with silver flowers and a light metal armor that reflected the sun's rays. As expected of the man, he was wearing a silk white shirt and black pants with dark and delicate boots. Alfred didn't have the heart to tell him those boots were useless in the forest. Maybe when they actually started to walk through the woods he would tell him. Maybe. After all, it was the captain's fault if he thought a trip of this nature was a place to dress as a rich prince. Francis laughed at something Matthew had said and Alfred grimaced when the laugh reached his ears. He hated the man's laughter. Maybe he was not exactly the right person to despise the laughter of another because his own was extremely loud and maddening, as Matthew had once told him, but Francis had this especial ring that Alfred couldn't tolerate.
Francis stopped laughing and Alfred thanked the Gods for it. He could have punched, he had done it before, Francis in the face if he had continued with that annoying sound. After all the years they had been around each other, there was only one thing Alfred could actually envy of the man, and that was his hair. Alfred didn't know how he did it, but Francis Bonnefoy had the best hair of the entire kingdom. It was always shiny and silky. The vain man was proud of his hair and rubbed it in his face every time he could. It was not as if Alfred's hair was horrible or disastrous. In fact, it was also silky and shiny, but he had to keep it short because it tended to have life of its own and combing it was as useless as Francis trying to be humble.
"I can't believe I am criticizing Francis inside of my head." Alfred groaned quietly making Francis turned to look at him curiously. He could not have fallen so low, could he? Was he so bored? Suddenly an idea crossed his mind. "Hey, Mattie, Francis. A race to the town. The one who gets there first will not pay dinner."
"Deal" Matthew said before Francis could open his mouth to protest against the ridiculous idea.
Two seconds after their horses were galloping at full speed towards the town. Matthew's chocolate mare neighed and increased her velocity taking the first place. Alfred groaned and sank his heels into the side of his white horse until he was beside Matthew.
Francis shook his head and remained in the third position without doing anything to catch up with the other two. Alfred and Matthew were always so competitive that, he could say, they were in the border of madness, if not already in that category. They made literally everything to win over the other. Everything. That included cheating of course and whilst it was amusing to watch, sometimes, Francis worried they could get too violent. He had witnessed too many accidents in these competitions, and he did not want to take part in it. He was happy with his body intact, thank you very much. There were enough conflicts and battles where you could get hurt to tempt your fate in a stupid race or whatever they always invented. As he followed the boys, because for God's sake they could not be describes as nothing else with that kind of attitude, he could see this competition was not far from what he had expected. Alfred had already kicked Matthew's mare to slow the mage down and, in return, Matthew had pushed Alfred's horse to a rocky zone where the animal slipped several times. If either fell to the ground, he would not help them. They deserved the pain for being so childish.
They entered the town after half an hour, the time had been reduced for their pace had been monstrously fast, with both, horses and riders, gasping. Matthew and Alfred turned to see each other knowing they had tied, but they didn't care. They needed that race or they would have killed each other before reaching the town. Francis arrived later with a wide smile while looking as fresh as if he had been in the shower minutes before. Silently he was glad that there had been no accident this time.
"I guess everyone will pay for what they eat." He said grinning.
Matthew growled and wiped out the sweat that was accumulated on his face. The mare stepped on the floor as if she was synchronized and felt her master's frustration. He breathed deeply several times, Alfred imitating him, and closed his eyes to relax. The mage finally sighed after some minutes of trying to calm his racing heart and turned to look at what was around them.
To say the town was depressing was an understatement, but Matthew, more than anyone, knew how the towns in the North were.
The ground was covered in mud and rocks, not a single spot of a lively color could be seen, except some spots of dark green grass. Because of the mud, he could see the foot prints of someone who had passed through the same road not so long ago, but, except for that, the town seemed to be death. There was no one at sight. The windows were closed and the usual faces of the curious ones were not present. Why were they hiding?
He frowned and exchanged a look with an equally worried Alfred. This was not normal, not at all.
They started to go further into the town trying to spot the eyes they knew were watching their every step through the slits of the closed windows. They finally arrived to the center of the town; as Alfred had assumed it was a small town. The buildings were arranged so that they formed a circle around the biggest well the three travelers had ever seen. Right in front of them a big signpost could be read: "Deep Water Inn".
"I guess we can ask if they have rooms. Night is not that far away." Alfred said as he jumped off his horse.
Francis grimaced when Alfred's feet touched the ground and caused a little wave of mud to splash on his own boots. He looked at the newly mud spots that now decorated them and sighed. Maybe he had chosen a bad pair of boots for this trip. As he stepped on the mud he decided that actually he had chosen the worst pair of boots he could have decided to bring. His dirty and wet feet were prove enough.
"Let's go then." Matthew said resigned and followed Alfred.
The two blondes walked without waiting for their third companion. They had learnt to ignore Francis's whining after knowing with him for so long. They stopped at the Inn's door and pushed it gently in case there was someone inside. The wooden door opened without resistance and a warm wave of air crashed against their faces.
"Come in!"
The female voice startled them and immediately their eyes searched for the owner of said voice until they found a young woman behind an old wooden counter full of cups and glasses. Her eyes full of curiosity locked with Alfred's and a small smile formed in her mouth.
"Welcome, please come in. The night is almost here and dangers might come."
Alfred nodded and stepped in the room not completely sure of how he should react to those words. The girl was giving them such a warm welcome which contrasted with the cold image the town behind had given him and the warning hidden in her words.
"Three handsome clients. We are lucky tonight."
An older woman appeared after opening a door at the end of the room where a group of chairs and tables were arranged in three lines. Both women had long dresses that once had been white and now were a soft beige. The ends of the clothes showed a little trace of the lace that had adorned the fabric but now was almost gone. They had soft brown hair tied behind their necks in a bow. The older woman had her hands crossed one over her chest whilst the younger one had placed her head on her folded arms which were resting on the counter.
"What can we offer to you, sirs?"
"Rooms to spend the night, please." Asked Matthew with a smile. He was the one who was familiar with the north so neither Francis or Alfred protested when he took over the situation. "And if you have some food, we will be happy to pay for it."
"Of course."
The young woman disappeared from the room after sending them a smile whilst the older one walked to the counter and opened a big and heavy book hidden in one of the counter's drawers. She started searching for something in it, with her finger tracing the path her eyes followed as she silently read the words, until she happily hummed after finding whatever she was searching for.
"I have three rooms. I can manage to arrange them next to each other. Is that all right?"
"Yeah, thanks. That would be perfect." Matthew answered immediately. He didn't care about that.
"You are welcome, sir"
She then proceeded to search for the keys of the rooms hidden inside of another of the counter's drawers. They waited until she handed them the keys. They pieces of metal were rusted and roughly carved, but still useful for what they had been created for. If they could open a door, then they were not for disposal.
"Follow me please."
The old woman walked towards the door from where she had appeared after they had entered minutes ago with the three blondes following. Her feet moved incredibly fast considering her age; more or less fifty or sixty. She was old, but apparently strong.
The door opened with a creak and all they could see for a moment was black. The hall was dark, even with the big yellowish candles hanging from the wall every two meter or so, and the wooden floor creaked at every step they took. Alfred grimaced when he saw some spider webs hanging from the ceiling. Obviously it was not the best place to stay, but it was the only one in this damn town.
They passed two doors. Alfred frowned as they left them behind. The little inn, because it was miniscule, couldn't be full, right? The old woman finally stopped in front of a door of questionable quality and pushed it open. The room was nothing special; a small bed, a dirty window beside, and another small door that, maybe, led to the bathroom. The amount of light that was able to enter through the grayish glass was not enough to be able to distinguish the corners of the room. The whole thing sent shivers through the warrior's body; it was not nice, at all.
Alfred felt two hands land on his shoulders startling him and turned to look at his two companions. They were smiling mockingly; the words hidden in those smiles couldn't be clearer. This is your room. Will you be able to endure? Sometimes he hated the fact that they knew as much about him, fears included, as he knew of them. Alfred scowled.
"I can assure you two I will make it through the night." He said pouting a little bit at the laughs that erupted from the other two. Assholes. "Idiots."
"Come, Alfred, let's see the other rooms and then eat. With some food in your stomach, maybe, you will make it." Said Matthew with an innocent smile which contrasted with the teasing tone his voice held. The warrior decided Matthew was the biggest asshole of the two.
Alfred only frowned, he knew Matthew was more than capable to win a verbal fight, and followed them in silence to the other rooms which were exactly the same as the first one. The woman then proceeded to guide her guests back to the tavern; the room where the counter with glasses was, as the woman explained.
As they arrived, the daughter was placing three dishes full of food in one of the tables of the room. If you looked close, the food was nothing special, potatoes, mutton, a few vegetables here and there, but food was food, as Alfred said, and the three of them thanked for it and started to eat. It tasted better than the improvised meals they had had on their way here. It was not as if they didn't know how to cook, Alfred was an exceptional case, for he only cooked things he liked, but more like the lack of the ingredients didn't allow them to prepare something decent.
After they finished, Matthew and Alfred waited for Francis's traditional remarks of disgust towards the food, but they never arrived. The two blondes turned to look at their Captain with confusion and surprise.
"I do know how to thank for the food I receive." He said after he noticed the incredulous stares from Matthew and Alfred. "It was delicious, beautiful lady." The last remark was directed to the young woman that approached to clean the table. Her cheeks immediately flushed red and a little smile appeared in her lips. Her hands trembled a little bit as she carried the empty dishes, for Francis was the one handing them to her being careful to actually touch her skin every time he handed a dish.
Alfred rolled his eyes at the sight already used to Francis' antics and Matthew irritated turned away his eyes from the scene. Their captain always had fun; in the capital or outside of the capital. He had this peculiar charm that threw women and men to his bed. Alfred still did not understand how he could resist working after said nights.
As Francis flirted with the woman, Alfred tried to remember the arrangement of the rooms. Which was the one beside Francis's? His or Matthew's? Shit. It was Matthew's. Alfred turned to look at the magician, who had his eyes fixed on the glasses piled up on the counter and trying to avoid looking directly at Francis. However, Alfred knew that Matthew was watching everything from the corner of his eye. He sighed and shook his head feeling the tension in the air.
Francis murmured something in the girl's ear and she nodded stupidly with a fresh blush coating her cheeks. Everyone knew what those words meant. Even after Francis left with a confident smile in his lips, but not after checking Matthew's reaction which was a blank face, and forcing said smile to appear.
Taking all that into account, Alfred was not surprised when Matthew entered in the middle of the night to his room. Alfred woke up when he felt another weight landing on his bed and a cold body snuggling against him.
"Mattie?"
"Yeah."
"What...?"
"Francis is fucking that little whore and the sounds are too fucking loud." Matthew explained closing the distance between him and Alfred's warm body. "I have not been able to sleep at all. Why is she screaming so much?" He made a pause and continued with a fake woman's voice that Alfred suspected was an imitation of said woman that was in Francis' bed right now. "Oh…Francis more...there...please…harder." He huffed. "Fucking little whore."
"Matt, calm down." Alfred said with a laugh, although he was a little worried because Matthew was angry and irritated and it was really difficult to deal with him in that state. "Since when...?"
"Since we went to bed." He answered immediately.
There was the reason why Matthew was like that. Not a bit of sleep in his system and Matthew turned into a grumpy and snarky beast. Although Alfred suspected it was not the only reason.
Alfred smiled softly understanding his suffering because he had lived those sleepless nights with a horny and loud Francis banging someone next door. He ruffled Matthew's soft locks and closed his eyes. They couldn't do anything about it. He had tried anything to silence Francis, but if an interruption in the middle of the act and a furious Alfred yelling him to shut up didn't work, they only had one alternative: sleep and try to ignore and forget.
"Sleep, Mattie."
The room was filled with silence again and Alfred was about to fall asleep when he felt a pair of hands touching his chest. The cold fingers traced circles on his warm skin causing shiver to run through his body.
"Matt?"
His companion did not answer and only buried his face in Alfred's neck. The warrior could feel the warmth of Matthew's breathing against his sensible skin and then he felt the soft touch of lips; a kiss. The fingers slowly started to snake down to his stomach which caused Alfred to become still as he realized what was going on. Matthew suddenly rubbing against him only confirmed his suspicions.
"Matt, don't tell me you..."
"I was listening for hours, Al, of course I am hard." He said softly without stopping his hands from going lower.
Matthew started to move his hips, softly rocking against Alfred. He knew Alfred was sensible to almost everything so he made his movements painfully slow until he felt a shiver of pleasure pass through his friend's body.
"You said it was the last time...aah..." Alfred could not finish his sentence because Matthew suddenly grabbed his cock. The skillful hand started to pump him as a finger teased the head. When had his hands passed under his pants? "Matt, stop." He half begged.
The magician ignored Alfred and continued pumping with a slow pace just to make Alfred lose his control faster. A hand grabbed his wrist trying to stop him, but it had not a strong hold. Matthew passed his leg over Alfred's body so that he was sitting on him. In that position he could see his face and he had more freedom to rock against Alfred. The warrior had his eyes closed as a reaction to the pleasure and his hand, the one that was no grabbing Matthew's wrist, covering his mouth to stop any sound from coming out. The magician had to admit Alfred looked incredibly sexy, but it was not enough, and it would never be enough. The feeling he had for Alfred were not those of a lover, but of a friend. He hated this part of him. Alfred was never going to say no if he was desperate, and he was at the moment, but the betrayal shinning in those blue eyes pierced through him. He wished he could stop, but he couldn't.
"Just relax, Al. You will enjoy it. I will certainly enjoy it. Just like all the other times."
To support his words he pumped Alfred's dick faster and grabbed the hand that was covering the warrior's mouth and pulled it to hear Alfred's moans.
Alfred closed his eyes with more force. Yeah, they had started to have sex when they were students in the Academy. A long time ago when they had been nothing but foolish teens full of hormones. They had continued with it. They realized many years after the emptiness of the act. The last time they had had sex they agreed that it had to stop. They were not in love and the act was getting tedious and mechanic. Just like a whore should do it, as Matthew had said. And they had stopped. They easily found other methods to satisfy their needs, but obviously Matthew had chosen to ignore their agreement. Alfred opened his eyes and half-glared at Matthew, not being able to show himself completely angry because, damn his body, he WAS enjoying it despite all.
"Touch me, Al"
Alfred watched as Matthew guided his hand to the bulge that had formed in his pants. Matthew was hard; so hard that the soft touch of his fingers over the thin cloth made him moan with pleasure.
"Last time, Matt. Promise me, please." Alfred asked palming Matthew's already hard cock over the clothes.
"I...I promise" He said as Alfred pulled down his pants and finally grabbed him as it should be. He licked his lips and trusted his hips against Alfred's hands asking for more.
Alfred sat on the bed. The hand that had previously tried to stop Matthew from pleasuring him was now on Matthew's back, pressing him closer, whilst the other pumped the magician faster and faster.
"Aah...Al…faster."
"You better not be lying, Matt." Alfred murmured in his ear with a seductive and yet dark voice. "This will be the last time."
Matthew nodded and Alfred bit his earlobe. The magician moaned and grabbed Alfred's shirt, leaving unattended Alfred's dick, as the other stroked his cock with more force. He leaned towards his neck and kissed it. He didn't waste time and started to suck the soft skin as a moan escaped his lips. He loved when he had sex with Alfred because he was completely different from the normal hyperactive and childlike Alfred. He turned controlling, serious, and oh so sexy, but still not what he wanted. They both knew it was just a form to release the sexual tension. Just a release.
"Ride me, Matt." Alfred murmured after biting and sucking again his earlobe. "Ride me." He repeated as an order and then he lay down on the bed watching Matthew with a smirk in his lips. He knew the magician was going to obey.
"Cocky warrior." Matthew said kicking his pants off of his legs and throwing them to the floor. He grabbed Alfred's hard, and previously unattended, cock and stroked it. "Always so bossy."
"You love…aah… that part of me." Alfred said watching every move Matthew made. The magician's naked body was above him, one of his hands stroking his cock and the other one inserted in his asshole. He just had to enjoy every moan that escaped Matthew's lips as he fingered and prepared himself. Matthew leaned a little bit searching for a better position to reach deeper with his three fingers already inside of him. Alfred bit his lower lip feeling his cock twitch with the image and pumped Matthew faster.
"Yes…ah…I love it." Matthew said taking his fingers out and rising a little bit his hips to position Alfred's cock at his entrance. Alfred loved watching the moment his cock penetrated the person he was having sex with, so he indulged the warrior with the sight smirking when he saw Alfred's eyes were fixed on the twitching cock near his entrance. "Indeed I do." With those words he lowered his hips and engulfed completely Alfred's dick.
The warrior groaned with the sudden warmth and tightness that surrounded his cock and, as a reaction, he trusted with the need of more of that feeling.
Matthew squeaked, surprised with the sudden feel of the cock invading him deeper when he was not yet prepared. He put his hands on Alfred's chest with short breaths leaving his mouth and tried to ignore the sudden pain. He had forgotten how eager his companion was.
"Wait a little bit, Al. I am the one riding you." He said to remind the warrior who was the one that had to start moving. Alfred groaned but stopped trusting. "Yeah, let me start the dance, my impatient friend." The magician said with a smile.
He raised his hips until he felt the tip of Alfred's cock almost slipping and then lowered them. Alfred watched as his cock entered, more like was swallowed by, Matthew's body and licked his lips with pleasure.
"Come on, Matt, dance." He asked.
Matthew nodded and continued with his work rising and lowering his hips until he achieved a pleasant pace. Alfred closed his eyes and enjoyed. One thing he could recognize was that Matthew knew how to ride. He had the ability to move with the exact angle to make them both scream with pleasure; he knew when to go fast and when to go slow to make the penetration deeper.
Matthew moaned louder when Alfred started to trust in him finally reaching his prostate. The pleasure filled him and he started to move faster but making sure his movements allowed Alfred's cock to go deeper in him.
"Yes…Al….aah…deeper…"
As the words escaped the magician's lips, words that tried to encourage him to go faster or to aim to certain place, Alfred bit his lip to stop the cruel remark he had thought. It was curious how minutes ago Matthew had criticized Francis and the woman for screaming those kinds of words and now he was screaming them. Trying to distract himself, for he knew he could end up saying what he was thinking, Alfred decided to grab Matthew's cock and pump it with each of his trusts. It didn't take long for Matthew to groan and release his seed all over Alfred's hand. Alfred moaned with the increasing pleasure that caused Matthew's walls closing over him, but he didn't come. This was one of the reasons why he didn't like having sex with Matthew. The act was pleasurable, full of lust, yes, but lacking something. He could no longer come with just the encouragement of Matthew's presence and moans, and that only frustrated him more and more each time he couldn't achieve a good orgasm.
Matthew yelped when Alfred suddenly pushed him so that he was now lying on the bed and Alfred was over him. The warrior started to trust into him faster and stronger than before, not waiting a single second for him to adjust; he could only see a desperate need in Alfred's face. Matthew wrapped his legs around the warrior's body to make the trusts deeper as he felt the guilt starting to appear. He knew how unsatisfied his friend felt after sex with him and he still was selfish enough to manipulate him into doing it. Alfred's cock hit again his prostrate and caused him to scream his name.
"Aah...Alfred! Yes, there!" Matthew screamed whilst Alfred continued trusting into him. The bed started to squeak beneath them with the force Alfred was using to ram into him. Finally Alfred came with a deep groan hiding his face in the magician's neck. Matthew closed his eyes when he felt the semen inside of him and then leaking out as Alfred pulled out his cock. The only part he hated of sex was cleaning himself after it.
"Was I good?"
It was a stupid question. He knew what Alfred was going to say, but he couldn't stop asking. He needed reassurance. The feeling in his chest was not the same he had had the other time he had banged Alfred. He still felt as empty as before. Was this what Alfred had been feeling all along?
"Yes, Matt, you are always excellent." Alfred said exhausted. He let his body fall onto the bed with his eyes closed. After a moment of silence Alfred finally opened his mouth knowing he was going to touch a delicate theme, but it was fucking necessary. "You should tell him how you feel.'"
"What are you talking about, Al?"
"I am not stupid, Matt. If you want to be in the place of that whore, as you so kindly called her, in Francis's bed, if you want to be the one that receives his kisses, if you want to be the one that pleasures him, tell him you love him."
"Don't you dare to compare me to that wh..!"
"How can I not, Matt!" Alfred exclaimed. "You just did what you criticized about her and Francis!" Matthew opened his mouth but not a single word came out of it so Alfred continued softly. "I cannot understand you, Mattie. You…you are just hurting yourself. I am just suggesting a simple solution to your misery, because having sex with me is never going to fill you nor me. You want him, not me."
Matthew remained in silence looking at the ceiling. Alfred was right. He was fucking right, but it was not easy to tell Francis his feelings when he had already rejected him, and in a spectacular way if he could add. There was not a single day that he didn't regret the way he had acted. He had been so stupid, with the maturity of a little child. He had closed the door he wanted so much to cross. It was not that easy.
"I have already ruined my chance, Al. I ruined everything." He murmured.
"It's never too late, Matt." Alfred said with a sad smile. "Fear will always make us cowards. I am not exception to the rule, neither you. But of one thing I am sure, it is never too late to face those fears."
"Wow. From whom did you hear that? Those words are too wise for your intellect." Matthew asked with a hint of a joke in his voice.
Alfred opened his eyes surprised when he heard Matthew's question. The words had suddenly appeared in his mind and he had spoken them without realizing it. He had heard those words from someone, but he couldn't remember from whom. He tried to do recall from whom it had been but it only caused a sharp pain in his head and the result was only a dark and dizzy image appearing in his mind. He couldn't remember. Why?
"I don't know." He mumbled. "I just remembered them."
Matthew nodded, even though he knew Alfred could not see him, and let it go. He was so tired that his normal sharp intuition didn't hear the confusion in Alfred's voice.
"Good night, Matt."
"Sleep well, Al."
Again, please, if I have any mistake (the atrocious ones first), do tell me. I will really appreciate it :)
Remember, English is not my mother tongue (Had I said that before? No? Yes? Well, now you know).
Danise Nowak
