Hi, you need to know these things before you read on or you'll be lost on her thoughts.
Social Anxiety Disorder: A Disorder in which the person thinks that everyone is having negative thoughts towards her, being afraid to be humiliated in public all the time, dreads events weeks or days away, being more than just shy but scared of what people are saying about her, sweating or having a panic attack in public, etc, it almost makes it impossible to cope with if it interrupts everyday life.
Depression: Where oneself has little happiness or none at all, does not enjoy things she used to, feels sad ALL the time, etc. may or can be suicidal.
Self harming\mutilation: The act of which the person harms themselves to get away from the real pain they are facing in their lives, so they take harm upon oneself for a matter of reasons.
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My dreams, were the same nightmares as every other night before, I awoke in fright my heart racing just like every morning. I sighed, finally remembering what had happened the past few days, it felt strange in this room, not quite right. I glanced at the bathroom, looking down at my arms… They still hurt. I sighed, getting up, no one had come to awake me, it was surely late in the afternoon for there was piercing sun coming from a slit in the curtain. My mind started to race, what if someone had come in and seen me, my eyes would like disgusting and bloodshot, they'd think I was a freak. What if when I get out of here, they are all there with their red eyes looking at me, thinking how could I possibly be considered normal, they probably already hate me I'm too shy, too weird. I shook my head, as my stomach clenched with my fears, my mind wouldn't let go of my stupid thoughts, I made my way to the bathroom, cold water would be nice on my face.
I glanced in the bathroom, it was almost half the size of the room, with white shiny tiles, a large mirror, a bath and shower, Italian styled sink and a toilet, they must be rich. I turned the tap on, cold water hit my hands and I winced as it splashed into my arms cuts, but splashed some on my face, unnessicarily I glanced in the mirror at myself, my eyes were sleep deprived and my face looked too pale, but it always did, it was always ugly. I shivered as I felt a gust of wind that was as cold as the water, I looked into the mirror behind me, my heart stuttering in fright, behind me was a vampire. She was beautiful, I envied her, already, now she would think I was rude and ugly compared to her. Her hair was a pretty mahogany colour that waved all the way to the middle of her back, her large red eyes had long lashes that made them stand out even more, her lips red and her face just the right size, her body was long and skinny with curves and she obviously dressed to prove that point. She smiled at me from behind me, slowly turned around, shrinking in a little as my eyes met her gaze, I looked down making sure my hair covered my face.
''Hello sweetheart, I'm Heidi, Master Aro has informed me that I should help you with picking out clothes and such, which is fine by me, fashion is second nature to me'' Heidi's voice was like a wind chimes, she seemed genuine, but I didn't trust her, not at all. Never trust anyone, then they can never hurt you.
''hi Heidi…where's Alec''? I asked, I didn't know anyone, except him really. I was hoping he'd be there so it was slightly less uncomfortable to be around these vampires. She clicked her tongue, grinning at me, '''we can't all have free time dear, he has guard duties and such, now time for dress up' 'She laughed, I nodded shyly, little did I know, ''dress up'' would be the death of me.
I ended up changing into at least 10 dresses before she finally chose me to wear the black one, which I preferred over all of them, ''yes, Alec said, you seem to have a like for dark and Goth things'' She chirped, I rolled my eyes, ''damn you Alec'' I muttered, she giggled, I smiled a little.
I had been smiling a lot more since I had been here, which I rarely did. Considering my hair looked like a nest before Heidi got through with it, I had to give her props, it was now neatly layered, straightened and proofed a little to give me the edgy look I was trying to get for months but the hairdresser wouldn't do it properly. She let me put on my eyeliner as much as I wanted, which if I cried would make me look like a racoon. When she was done saying how nice Volterra was going to be for me, she told me we had to go see Aro and the Guard, to her that seemed just fine but to me it felt horrible. I would have to walk along hallways where people might be watching me, what if I trip when we go to the ball room and everyone sees it, what if someone says something about me.
I cringed, but walked with her silently, my heart beat horribly when we opened the two double doors to the room, which was obviously not helping me with a roomful of bloodthirsty vampires. When we walked in, they did stare, I was about to run out when I heard Alec's voice my eyes went wide and I looked up to see him in front of me, his face looked almost worried, well his eyes did, the rest of him lay still. His eyes were bright red, brighter than before, so he recently fed on someone in this exact room. Luckily they had cleaned up quickly, there wasn't even blood anywhere, except of course Alecs lip. He saw me stare at the tiny dried droplet then wiped it away too quickly for me to see, ''are you alright'' he murmured, I cringed away as he moved his arm, I didn't like people near me too much, it was strange, when we were alone, I almost forgot about my problem but now in public I was too scared to even look at him in the eye, I nodded.
I felt a breeze and he was gone, leaving me in the middle with everyone staring at me, I felt humiliated, but soon Aro took the responsibility of attention. He smiled at me gesturing for me to come forward, ''hello dear, I hope you slept well, today Eleazer will be here in a few hours, he has a gift of knowing what your powers will be if you have any, it will be quite tragic if you don't. Wouldn't you agree Alec''? Aro asked, inclining his head to Alec who seemed lost in thought, but he had heard him. ''Yes Master '' Alec whispered in a monotone voice, almost annoyed. ''Dear, what is your name''? Aro asked in a pleasant voice, I gulped; this was the part I hated, in school everyone teased me because of it I hoped they didn't. ''Layla'' I muttered, looking away, I heard a laugh and my eyes went wide, oh no they didn't like it. ''that is a beautiful name, why would you be ashamed''? It was Demetri's voice, I looked up shocked probably looking like a fish, I ducked my head down, he had been grinning and his eyes honest, i thanked him.
While we were waiting for Eleazer, I was able to visit the ''games room'' which Demetri and Felix apparently owned. There was just about every x box game known to mankind in there, a large flatscreen that was set up on the wall and comfy chairs. We play Call Of Duty and I actually beat Felix and Demetri 5 times each, they were probably letting me win though. Alec had disappeared, Demetri and Felix had to go inform Aro of how well I liked it, they told me to stay here but I badly needed to go to the toilet. I walked out, trying to find my way when I heard a soft chuckle, I turned around, there was a vampire there, he wasn't one of the Volturi either.
His face was scary, with big wild red eyes and black hair, he was muscly too, I gulped. He was suddenly infront of me and I was pressed up against the wall, with my neck pointing to his mouth, he kissed my cheek almost hungrily, then his jaw went to my neck, ''don't scream pretty little human'' he whispered, he had a Romanian accent, tears came from my eyes. I suddenly felt his weight off of me and I looked forward, Alec stood there his face angry and his eyes flaring just as he tore the vampires head off in one simple go, he spat venom on the body then looked up at me.
His eyes were black with anger and fury, ''why didn't you call for me,Layla'' He snarled, why was he angry with me? I widened my eyes as his face was infront of mine, ''always call for me when your in trouble, oh, and don't ever let Demetri leave without you, he shouldn't have in the first place'' Alec growled, just as Demetri rounded the corner Alec let out a snarl and they were suddenly fighting, oh god.
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