Author's Note: Hi guys, thank you for following this story! I want to let you know, though, that I wrote this fic during the hiatus so I apologize (but not really, lol) if I instantly killed Marian off on the first chapter. As an OutlawQueen shipper during the season 3 finale, that's exactly what I wanted, even until now actually. OOPS! But I hope you like what I've wrote. Enjoy this chapter! :)
I WAS A VILLAIN. Those words kept on repeating in her head. Like everything she did is to ruin everybody's happy endings. For as long as she remembers, she only wanted to be happy, she desired to have her own happy ending. But the cruelty of her fate seemed not to care about her delight, it was always her miseries that brought joy to others.
Is being happy such a terrible fate? It has been so long… fighting these battles, I always lose. When I lost Daniel, I thought I lost everything too. I spent all my life trying to avenge his death, to take vengeance for my first love. I let myself be used by Rumplestiltskin and I enacted the dark curse. I had victory in my hands for 28 years, but was I happy? Not really, it left a hole in my heart that was filled only when I had Henry. But at his young age, he saw the evil in me. And no matter how much I try, I always get reminded that I AM the Evil Queen.
"Regina?" Emma's voice startled Regina bringing her back to reality.
"Are you okay?" Emma sounded worried. Her words are carefully selected and spoken with all the sympathy she could give. The last thing she wanted is to upset Regina again. They could have not won the fight against Zelena without her and now that the Snow Queen is here, they'll surely need Regina's help for one more time.
"I'm fine." Regina lied. She wanted no pity. She has endured so much pain than this. But the thought of losing someone she loves, her soul mate perhaps, is still too much to bear. She can feel herself wanting to go back to the person she once was. Back to the time when all she cared about was no one but her own, when the decisions she made lead to her happiness and not caring whether others suffer or die. That may be lonely, but it was a lot easier.
"I don't think Robin knows that Marian died…" Emma's voice trailed. Although she has known Regina to be the Evil Queen and has ripped so many hearts and killed a lot, she has never been comfortable confronting her about it, or just mere telling her that she's done evil.
"At my command? Neither do I." Regina completed Emma's statement. "Maybe when you see Robin, you should tell him where you found Marian." There was a sour taste on her voice when she said that, then she looked away. Wanting to talk no more, needing to be alone, craving for solitude. Emma understood, besides, she has always known when Regina is lying.
"Maybe I will." Emma replied.
"Now if you would excuse me, I have stuff to do. And you're the sheriff, do what you must."
Emma then left Regina in her office. Alone, that what's she asked and that's what she had. She has never felt more alone in her life. Surely, it wasn't what she needed but it's all she thinks that's best for now.
It was all quiet in the forest except for the swooshing of the leaves when the wind blows hence, the footsteps coming closer to Robin Hood are easily heard, especially for him who had lived in the forest. He picked up his bow, put up an arrow and pulled it, he was ready to let it fly.
"Papa?" Roland spoke.
Robin heard it coming from the other side, so he turned and he saw his son with Little John. He laid his bow and arrow down and walkED towards them.
"He was asking to go to Regina… or you. I thought of asking you first." Little John explained.
"Thank you for watching over my little boy." Robin smiled at him. He kneeled before his son and brushed Roland's hair with his fingers, he smiled at his boy, remembering his wife. The life they've lost a second time. He lifted him up and handed his weapon to Little John.
"Papa, why are you alone here?" The boy asked.
"Remember the woman who called you "baby" at Granny's diner last night?"
"Yes." Roland answered shyly.
"Well, you might not remember her, but she is your real mother. She saved you, she saved us and in doing so, we lost her again." He walked towards the area where her wife lies beneath the ground, a flower on top, and he put his son down.
"But I thought Mama Gina is my mama." The boy was confused. Regina was, by all means, the woman HE looked up to as his mother, even if they only knew her for quite a while.
"Roland, you may be too young to understand now, but someday you will." Robin reassuringly said while he smiled at him. "But I want you to remember your mama Marian and no matter what, she will always be your mother." He handed his little boy a flower and guided Roland's hand to place it on Marian's grave.
"Mama Marian, sorry I didn't know you… and thank you… and I love you." It was a very short yet meaningful message from a boy who just found out that his real mother actually just died. Robin was right, Roland was too young to understand but old enough to care for a woman who saved his life.
"Now, do you want to see Regina?" He saw Little John from the corner of his eyes, thinking of what probably he could ponder of because he just lost Marian, his wife, he added "And play with Henry too?" He was cautious with his actions, not to let others think that he was glad that Marian was gone, because he clearly wasn't. Although he loves Regina so much, he would have never cheated on Marian if she was really back in his life.
"Yes papa!" Roland responded excitingly. Hand in hand, the father and son walked together out of the forest.
She was holding papers in her hands but she sees beyond them. She was weary and scared again, like what she has always felt when she's about to lose someone she loves. Henry is seated on a corner of her office, playing with his Gameboy. Regina and Emma decided to let him stay with Regina at the mayor's office, where she can protect him while they are still in search for the Snow Queen. Now that he's older, Henry knows better. He sees pass through the darkness, for there is no longer evil in her, it's just fear. Fear of letting herself be completely vulnerable because for the first time in a long time, finally, she has opened herself to love again. He saw how his mother smiled and laughed when Robin was around. He has seen how she glowed because of a new found love. And with the come back and immediate loss of Marian, he was worried about his mother and his possibly step dad. Of all people, Henry is someone who's most concerned with Regina. He wanted her to be happy because he believes in her, after all, to him, she's not a villain. She is his mother.
He was waiting by the door, doubting if he should really be there, hence, he waited for what seemed to be forever before knocking at the door. Knock, knock, knock… Roland did it for his father. He was eager to see his brother and his mama Gina. Henry opened the door and he brightened up.
"Hey Robin. Hey Roland!" He began, grinning.
At the sound of his name, Regina looked up. She flicked her hair like she always did even before she saw the lion tattoo on Robin's arm. She acted like she's fixing things on her table and trying not to show how delighted she is on the presence of Robin and Roland.
"Henry!" Roland ran to him and hugged him like he hasn't seen him in years. In the short time they've spent together, they are really close now, they treat each other like a real brother. Roland held Henry's right hand and together, they walked towards Regina.
"Mama!" Roland called out. He was in full smile like he's always been. The sound of the little boy's voice made Regina smile. She stood up from the mayor's seat and neared the boys.
"Baby." Regina cried when she stooped down to see Roland, face to face. She held his soft cheek in her hands and kissed him. She hugged him longer than usual, like she was trying to say something but can't say it loud, perhaps a goodbye hug? After a few more seconds, Regina let the little boy off her arms. She tried to hide the drib of tears that await at the corner of her eyes. But Robin saw it before she turned her back and wipe it away.
"Henry, why don't you two get an ice cream? Little John is just outside the room." Robin uttered.
They need to talk, Henry thought. "Okay. Come on Roland. Let's get you some chocolates." He smiled at his brother and reached out for his hand then headed to the door.
Now it was just Robin and Regina. There was a brief moment of silence. And to break that, Regina thought of offering him a drink. She placed two glasses at her table and pour out red wine, she handed one glass to Robin. He reached for the glass and Regina saw his lion tattoo again.
"I thought you don't do daytime drinking. And at the mayor's office?" Robin smirked.
"I could always make an exception for you." Regina teased back. She looked into his eyes, and touched the lid of her glass. Then she stared at his lips while she drinks her wine.
He chuckled with what she did and for a moment, both of them forgot their worries. They forgot what has happened and what's still happening around them. Or maybe they didn't actually forget, they are just too in love to care, at least, even for that minute. He drunk his glass of wine and stepped closer to where she is. She was wearing a red dress without sleeves THAT perfectly fits her body with length 'til just above her knees. He touched her arms and slowly reaching to the straps of her dress. He can feel her breathing, it was slowly and heavily, full of emotions and maybe worries as well. He looked at her eyes and instantly saw through them… what he has always seen the moment he fell in love with her. He still sees his second chance in her.
She let him caress her, his hands were in her back, at her shoulder blades. She felt comfortable and warm and she didn't look away from his eyes. He was wearing a jacket with its sleeves rolled just above his elbows. He smelled like forest and it made her smile. She remembered the first day they've met in the Enchanted Forest and how she glared at him. And now, looking at him, she wonders what he sees in her, if he still sees his second chance. Maybe yes. But what if he finds out that I killed his wife? She tried to shake the thought off her mind. She just can't and so she held the collar of his jacket and pulled him closer to her. Their faces just two or three inches away from each other. She felt her heartbeat going faster. She wanted to kiss him, but she didn't.
He smiled when she pulled him closer. He remembered their very first kiss in the forest, she did the same, he was surprised when she kissed her so when she pulled away, he kissed her back. But this time, she was aggressive yet careful, she didn't kiss him. But Robin knows this queen now. He leaned closer and closer to Regina and just as when his lips are going to touch hers, he smiled and pulled her closer. His left arm is resting on her back, embracing her and pulling her closer to him at the same time while his right hand is on her neck keeping her lips locked to his. She didn't fight it. In between the kisses where they stop a second to grasp some air, she smiles and he smiles back. And when she sees that grin flashing in his face, she just can't help but to pull him back again and press her lips against his. It was the warmest and longest kiss they've had and then she pulled away. She took one step backward and with her gaze still on his eyes, she placed her hands on both sides of his face, she smiled and said "I love you."
