In some unknown place, a man and a woman are fighting with a Dogoo herd. The woman seems to be using magic, while the man seems like he's using a shiny greatsword. And they both have eyes of killing intent.
"Keep your guard up!"
"Oh come on, before I married you, I rekt a lot of handsome stooges as a young lady!"
The man rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah… that's intimidating…"
"Well, at least I ain't using a legendary sword…"
In an effort to keep their guard, the man and woman turned their backs on each other, leaning towards each other's backs, keeping eye of the herd while talking.
"Oh, shut it. We have to survive if we wanna go back!"
"Don't forget to find the others. And that young Knight Lance."
After hearing the name Lance, the guy looked at his spouse's eyes. "Lance… He's one of our chances. Problem is… is he EVEN in this world?"
"Oh, that Sorcerer is stupid. All of us are here in this weird England-ish world, remember?"
The man smirked at his wife, "This world really changed you in a hilarious yet amazing way…" and continued to fight the dogoo herd.
Chapter 2: Neptune's 'Other' Side (*censored*)
~ Lance's POV ~
*heavy step* *heavy step* *pant*
"GRRRAAH!" the monster who's STILL chasing us shrieked in anger. It's been at least 5 minutes since the last time I stopped running. I'm exhausted.
"Go faster, Lance! Mr. Monster is catching up!"
"Woo! Go, Lance! Go!"
Hearing Neptune's remark, I retort, "I ain't a pack mule, Neptune!"
Well, yeah, you guys might be wondering how we ended up in this situation. And by situation, I mean me, Compa, and Neptune running away from a crazy and angry spider thing. What's more is that I am carrying both girls on my back! Oh man, this is tiring as heck, oh my life. Well… let's start over from earlier…
~ Earlier this afternoon ~
"You blinked!"
"You wish, Neptune!"
Yeah, right now, we're just going around this 'city'. Its name is Planeptune, basing on the book I borrowed from the library. One thing I'll remember about this place is its damn obsession with the color purple. Like, what's the meaning behind that? Right where we left off, me and Neptune were having a staring contest, while Compa is leading the way.
"Welcome to Planeptune! Lady Purple Heart's residence and land of rule!"
"Uh, hate to ask, Compa, but who's Lady Purple Heart?"
"You don't know Lady Purple Heart, Lance? Are you ignorant?"
"N-no… I'm from another world."
As I said that sentence, Compa and Neptune stopped on their tracks. "Another world? What do you mean, Lance?"
Realizing that I directed their attention towards me, I nervously replied, "Well, I'm from England, in Europe, in the world we call Earth. I ended up in this world when me and a friend of mine fought with an evil mage and were defeated. At first, I thought he sent me to Hell, but… I ended up here. In this place you guys collectively call Gamindustri."
"Anyway, seems like we have a clue on Neptune's residence," I decided to change the subject. I can't just divulge into that just yet.
"Huh? What makes you say that, Lance?" Neptune asked. I rolled my eyes, "Uh… Pla-neptune? Neptune? Get it?"
"Oh, that's what you meant, Lance. Haha."
~ A few minutes later ~
"Here we are! Virtua Forest!"
"The place where we all first met, eh?" I remark.
"Yep. The first dungeon in the game too!" Neptune jokingly said while swinging around the wooden sword she found in the trash back in Planeptune.
"I know I keep asking this, Neptune, but what good does it do to have that wooden sword around?"
"Oh come on, Lance. At least I have a weapon to use. Plus, this isn't Min*****t so this isn't as break-ish as said sword equivalent in that game." Okay, there's the beep sound again. It's starting to get irritating. Not gonna remark on that, I know Neptune's answer is gonna be, "Dude, it's copyright. Copyright."
Okay, let's start going back to that spot.
*step* *step*
"I forgot to tell you guys. There are monsters everywhere."
"You mean like the dogoo I befriended?"
And then Neptune looked at me with amazement, "Really, Lance? That's awesome! What's a dogoo?" I then facepalm right after she said that last sentence. "You were praising me while you don't have memory of a dogoo…"
"Yes, Lance. We better be careful."
"Oh, come on. I'm a Knight," I answered, cracking my knuckles. "If you're a Knight, why don't you have a cool OP-ish sword, plot armor-ish armor and a stallion with you?"
"Uh, Neptune… otherworlder, remember?" I timidly reply, pointing at myself. "Anyway, what's plot armor?"
"Well it's… Ooohhh…" uh, does she have little attention spa-
"Dogoo!"
I take a look at a dogoo that just appeared in front of us. Can't tell if it's the dogoo I befriended, sadly…
"What makes it interesting is that they just appeared a few years ago…"
"So… there were no monsters before?"
"Yes, Lance. And it might've been connected with the Goddesses' Console War…"
"Console War… that's another thing I have to learn…"
And while Compa and I were talking…
"Oohh… low-level! Time to grind!" Neptune shouted as she struck the dogoo. "What are you doing, Neptune?!"
"Aww… come on, Lance! It's in the script! We HAVE to beat the crap out of them to get XP AND progress in the story!"
"Neptune, I swear I-"
*rustling*
What the? I spread out my arms. "Stay close…"
And then a herd of dogoo showed up. Still don't know if one of them's the dogoo I befriended. I gave them a stare. They stared back.
"…Goo?"
"Hey, Lance… we can beat the crap out of them now, right?"
And without my permission, Neptune rushed in and swung her wooden sword. "Did I agree, Neptune?!"
By the time I shouted at her, she had already exterminated a lot of them. Poor defenseless dog-goo crossbreeds. And now, Compa decided to join in. Once again, she takes out her syringe from out of nowhere, and Neptune notices. I swear I saw her shiver by the sight of it. "Hey, Lance… where did Compa get that out from?" she asked, her face lined with fear.
"Why are you asking me, Neptune? I was hoping you'd make a joke outta that…" I answered while holding up my fists.
"Hey, author… Do you know?"
"Why are you asking me, Neptune? I honestly don't know as well… that's how Re;Birth1 did it. Ask Idea Factory and Compile Heart's devs and storywriters and shiz… Just don't pin it on me…"
"It's a Compa secret, Nep-Nep~" Compa answered, winking.
"Even if I can imagine it… it doesn't explain how…" Neptune said, shuddering. I decided to ignore them and focus on the fight at hand.
I walk up to a dogoo that kept staring at me. Is this… I bend over to take a closer look. And oh, I knew I shouldn't have.
"Is that you, bo-"
*glomp*
"GAH! GWAAHK!"
WHAT IS THIS DOGOO DOING?! IT JUST JUMPED ONTO MY HEAD AND IS TRYING TO DROWN ME THROUGH ITS JELLY BODY! IT'S LIKE A CRAB THAT EATS HEADS! I drop on the ground.
"Somebawdhy, halp!" I tried to say, flailing my arms around. I stopped flailing and tried to take hold of the dogoo. And dammit! I'm weakening!
"Lance!" and thank goodness, Compa noticed my plea. Wait, what is she planning on doing? Why is she holding up her giant syringe? Please don't tell me…
"Compwha, what are ya-"
"This is gonna hurt a bit, Lance…"
My eyes dilate in fear. Oh no. She's gonna slam that syringe at my face! I try to run away, but I'm too pooped… this is the end of Young Knight Sir Lance Axlrod of Riverton… it was nice of you readers to-
SLAM! SLAM!
"Gah! Ack! Ahahawch! Compa, stop! Please!" I pleaded, gripping on the dirt to supress the pain I'm feeling, while I raise my free arm to try to stop her from knocking my lights out.
But she kept smashing my face repeatedly until the dogoo dissolved. Can't… think quite straight… All I know is that my eyes are now swirly… why and how?
"Lance…? Lance!"
"Eh? Eh… ehehe, just five more minutes, my oh so cute, beautiful, and sweet wife…"
"W-wife?!"
"The author will make sure our ship sets sail and-"
SLAM!
Gah! Ouch! My back! "What the heck, Comp-"
And when I saw her fidgeting and blushing, I quickly remember what I said while I was out cold! Dammit, Lance! Dammit, author!
"…Ship Tease… *winks*"
SHIP TEASE MY ASS!
"I hate to break a ship tease moment, guys. But…"
*boing*
There's more of em?! Geez… I hold up my fists and struck the first dogoo I saw. The damage is a bit underdeveloped, but get yourself trained to do a flurry of jabs and you're a lethal unarmed human! Punch, kick, grab, and SLAM! Lance Axlrod, one point! I look at the two girls to check on how they're holding out. And I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't think Neptune could handle her own, ESPECIALLY since she's an amnesiac. Oh my life, she handles that sword well, man! "Cross Combo!" she shouted as she delivered six quick slashes at the dogoo she's focusing on. And as expected, it dissolved. Why do they dissolve anyway? If this was England, this would be a graveyard! Noticing that I was looking at her, she gave me a wink, sticking her tongue out, and holding out a peace sign. Pfft… showoff. Let's check on- WOAH! I had to bend over to dodge a dogoo. You guys ain't drowning me again! Bam! Ugh… Well, let's check on Compa now.
Compa is like the ranged character of the party. She shot out a few shots from her syringe, landing a critical hit on the dogoo. I don't want to know what's in that syringe… Gah! Get off of me! I slam my back onto the ground, in an effort to get rid of the dogoo. Yes, it hurts! "Lance!"
And, the dogoo is off my back thanks to Compa. "Don't lose focus, Lance!"
"Okay, don't have to say that to me though…"
~ A few minutes later ~
"*pant* *pant* I'm pooped!" I said, lying down on the ground. That fight took a while, but we manage to keep our skins. And we 'leveled up', as Neptune kept saying. I don't understand the concept of that, but I guess it's like the rank up in the hierarchical system. And by hierarchical system, I mean like from peasant to nobleman, squire to Knight, and stuff like that.
"How's it like fighting the Mr. Monsters?"
I ruffle my hair, "If anything, this is easier than the ones we Knights always fight in England, Compa…"
"Ooohhh, what kind of monsters do you fight with, Lance?" Neptune curiously asked.
"It would usually be dragons, unusual creatures, villainous mages who accidentally send you to a Not-Hell world… the usual."
"Well, for me, I think I got the basics already! And slowly, my protagonist powers will arise in the time where we least expect it…"
I look at Neptune timidly, "Oh, really now? What if I'm the protagonist?"
"Nah, no way. Your name isn't featured in this game, wannabe! Neptunia is Neptune's protagonist world, that means this is MY playground, buster!" Neptune proudly stated.
"Yeah, just make sure you don't get poisoned or anything…" I reply in a snarky tone. "Hey, are you trying to jinx me, Lance?"
"Come on, guys. We're almost there!"
I then ran as fast as a horse carriage, "Last one there's gonna treat the other two!"
Neptune then looked shocked at how fast I sped up, "Hey, that's hax, Lance!" she shouted as she ran as well.
"Ehh? Wait up, you guys!"
~ A few more minutes later ~
"Welcome to Neptune's Crater, my friends! One hundred Credits for just a peek!" I stated, spreading my arms out. Oh, that feels refreshing! Anyway…
Yep, we're at the place where Compa and I found Neptune. I gotta say, the crater still looks fresh, even though it was last night…
"Woah, it's huge, man!" Neptune said, tapping my back. Feeling that her taps are getting quite painful, I flinch. "Hey, that hurts a bit, you know?"
Compa, in a concerned voice, then asked Neptune, "Nep-Nep, does this make you remember anything?"
"…"
I look at her with a skeptic's look. I'm calling it, she still doesn't remember anything…
"Mmm…"
"D-don't strain yourself, Neptune."
"Mmmmm…"
"Nep-Nep?"
"Sorry, Compa, Lance. I still can't remember anything. Are you two sure that I landed here?"
I walked around and pointed at the ground, "Uh, isn't it obvious with this deep face imprint of yours?" I said while tapping my right foot. Pointing at the face imprint of Neptune in the middle of the crater.
"Let's check for clues to Neptune's identity. There might be something around here…" I added in. All this talk ain't gonna take us anywhere. The girls nodded, and then I look around the scene.
"Hey, I remember what I'm missing!"
"Hm? What then, Neptune?" I ask while foraging.
"Isn't it obvious? It's my memory!"
I then look back at her, staring at her eyes with disappointed ones, "Enough joking, Neptune. There is time for silly stuff, and time for serious stuff. And right now is the serious part."
"Hey, wasn't that… a little bit funny to you guys…?" I shook my head. "Nep-Nep, Lance is right. It's not time for jokes…"
"But I thought you guys were joking around…"
"Sorry Neptune, but right now, it's serious stuff…" I can't treat this one like the reckless stint I did back in England. I would never forgive myself if these girls are hurt because of my own reckless actions. That's why I have to take what Grant always told me. Be serious when everything is supposed to be treated seriously. Thanks, younger brother. Wonder how he's doing…
/In some other dimension\
"What are you girls trying to do?" a young boy, around the age of 13, is being dragged about by two girls. The kid looks unamused as he is dragged around by two girls his age.
"You'll see, dummy!" the girl in pink, holding onto the boy's left arm, said.
"We didn't like how you were feeling, so…" the girl in blue, holding onto the boy's right arm, quietly said.
"Uh, I'm not the easygoing one, you need my brother…"
"The great Knight Sir Lance Axlrod of Riverton!" a raven-haired boy then shouted. "The ancestor of Mr. Hayakaze and his son!"
"What does that have to do with- wait, why are we… in some snowy region?"
"Ready?"
"Mhm…" the other girl nodded.
"Goodness, are they planning-" the long lilac haired girl with them reacted.
"I like these two already," a brown-haired boy smirked.
"You said it, Roy," another boy who looks like the brown haired boy stated. For the guys know what the two are going to do…
Then the girls both said in sync, "One. Two… three!" and threw the golden haired boy into the snow.
"aaaaAAAAAAA-"
~ Back in Lance's POV ~
*weird noise*
"Shush," I held out my hand. "I think I hear something funny over there…"
Then, I walked up to the rustling bush. Slowly… slowly… I part the bushes. None. Damn. Recheck… look left, look right. None.
"*sigh* Don't worry, false ala-"
*ground crumbling* OH NO!
"WE'RE FAAAAALLLING!"
"COMPA! NEPTUNE!" I shout while running to the now crumbled crater. What the heck?! I whispered, "Hey, Compa, Neptune, you guys okay?"
"…" No answer.
"Hey, don't you two screw around with me, say something!"
I waited for a response. A minute passed.
"Oww… Lance, you there?"
Oh, thank God, a response. "I'm up here, Neptune…" I wave my hand.
"Neptune, is Compa okay?"
It was then that Neptune realized that something, or someone, broke her fall, "Oh my gosh, Compa!"
She jumps up, then it seemed like Compa just got her consciousness. "Nep-Nep, you okay?"
"I'm so sorry, Compa! I-I-"
"It's fine, Nep-Ne- Ouch!"
It was then that I decided to jump down there myself. Hyap! Aaannnd… landed on both feet. Surprised that it didn't break my bones, since there are rock debris everywhere. "Hey…"
I take a quick look at Compa. Oh, she's quite- no, no, she's got quite a cut on her left arm. It's bleeding quite profusely. If I don't do something right now, it might worsen. I know that she's a nurse-in-training, but I'm sure that it'll be hard to perform first aid on herself. I blow off the dust that I have on my hands and body. "Okay, where's the bandage?"
~ A few minutes later ~
"Okay, wrap it there," I stated in a calm voice. I forgot to comment earlier, but Compa is soft to the touch, well, evidence of a girl, dingdong… Her hand is quite smooth, of course. If anything, she would be my ideal girl!
"…And done! How does it feel?" I back up. "Woah, Lance, I'm impressed!"
"Neptune, it's because I'm quite the medic…"
I look at Compa, "Can you move your arm around without pain?"
"It hurts a bit, but it's okay…"
And I noticed that this hole we're in is huge. And quite illuminated. Shiny crystals, by the way. "Where the heck are we?"
"Seems like we're beneath the surface, Lance…"
"Hey, you guys feel a weird vibe here? Like 'some sort of stoic fish with legs is stalking us' weird?"
I then imagine what Neptune said, and it sent chills down my spine. "N-no, Neptune… somehow… Hey, Neptune, what are you doing?"
She then looked back at us with some sort of… rock? No, it looks like a key fragment of sorts… Broken key? What's that doing under this cave dungeon-ish place? Was someone here before us? "What in England is that?"
"rrrRRRRRROAR!" CRAP! WHAT WAS THAT?!
"Golly, what was that event flag raising roar?!"
"Nep-Nep, Lance, there's a monster over there…"
I look back at Compa, to be welcomed by the sight of a giant spider-man thing wielding a sword! "Compa! Look out!"
Then, almost immediately, the spider-man's swung and took Compa! "HELP ME, NEP-NEP! LANCE!"
"Oh no, Compa! She's being *censored* and *censored*!"
I shout, "Goddamnit, Neptune, she is NOT! Now, I'm happy that the beep sounds were there…" while facepalming.
"I think what Neptune was trying to say is that she's being *Noble gibberish* and-"
*someone comes in, Middonaito freaks out and slowly turns* "M-Mi-Mistr-"
"Oh, Author, it's time, you know…"
*Middonaito sweatdrops* "T-time for what?"
*unknown person grabs Middonaito by his arms, drags him off, Middonaito cries in a comedic manner* "Please, don't torture me, Mist- nnnnNNNOOOO!"
*door violently closes*
"Well, that was… disturbing…"
Uh… what now? Wait, where's Neptune? And…
"Hyaa!" she's slashing that damn spider-man but nope, no effect. "Aw, come on! That wasn't Splash, smarty-pants!"
And then, the spider-man prepared itself. With it's might, it swung its sword towards Neptune. She's hit! And… she got thrown in the other direction. I'd like to help her, but… Yikes! Almost got me! Goddammit!
"Nep-Nep! Lance!"
Cracking my knuckles, I shout, "Stay strong, Compa! Hrrahh!" I tried to throw a flurry of jabs at the enemy, but somehow, it did 0 DAMAGE! Fu- What the heck is Neptune doing?! She's talking to her-
SMASH!
GAH! I got hit by the back of my head. It's totally bleeding!
"Lance!" Compa shouted, almost crying. No, No!
Double time, Lance! Get yourself a band-
WHAT?! IT'S BRIGHT! I cover my eyes to keep myself from getting blind. But somehow, I think my eyes are messed up.
*door opens, Middonaito comes in, shivering* "W-why? Why?"
Hey, Author…
"Oh, what is it that you need, oh original character of mine?" *Middonaito sits*
Is this really Neptune?! And I'm talking about a mature-looking girl with purple hair in braids and wearing… uh… revealing clothing? Yo, don't fool with me. She came out of a pillar of light where Neptune was supposed to be.
"What do you-" *backreads fanfic chapter* "Oohh. Yeah, that's Neptune, mate."
"No way… Neptune?!" I only managed to say. I'm in awe. The ditzy girl I know… is now a mature woman determined to lead…
"Well, I'm in shock myself, Lance, but… it is me…"
"No fricking way… H-how?!"
"Later. For now, I have to save Compa!" she answered me and then she ran back to the battlefield. Now what am I, some sideline character now?
"No need to fear, Middonaito is here! *wink* Underdog reference…"
"Hey, Author, you got something for me?"
"Of course, I did say I'd pay you back for involving you in a hilarious fanservice moment. Let me get my…" *Middonaito reaches for something, presses something by accident*
[BGM: Zedd – Spectrum]
"No, no! That's the wrong BGM!" *slamming sounds*
[BGM: Avicii – Levels]
"No! No! Godd- you know what?! I don't care. Let me get the…"
"Uh, author…"
"J-just wai- Here we go! Alright, let me check my Character Planner note- Oh no." *Middonaito sweatdrops*
"What…?"
"For now… fight with your fists while I work my way through these OC pages…"
"What?!"
"Okay… Kuriyama, Hayato… Aizawa, Shu… Mahalinan, Ahkito… Kurogane, Noir John…" [Middonaito is busy]
"You better act fast, author!"
Remember, I hurt my head bad, so I'm still self-medicating myself. For now, let me watch this 'other' Neptune.
"Cross Combo!" she said in a mature voice. Wow, she really changed in appearance AND personality. Her fighting style is MOST impressive. Wonder how King Arthur would react if he saw someone like her, since she's almost like Queen Guinevere back then… "Ay, author, you still busy?"
"Suno, Mizuno… Kingston, Tune… Yoshido, Shino… Ohtaka, Itsuka… Yes, Lance. What do you need of me?"
"Can you describe… 'Other' Neptune for me?"
"Kageyama, Shiro… Hayakaze, Aoi… Uh… sorry man, but doing that will spoil the whole storyline for you…"
"Then can you describe her with no 'spoilers' then?"
*page turning* "Travolta, John Hick… Del Castillo, Roland York… De Asis, Ronald Roman... Well, she becomes quite a serious fighter while in that form. Oh yeah, she's beautiful as hell, too…"
And when the author said that, Neptune had taken care of the spider-man and saved Compa. I finish bandaging my head, then ran to where they were. It's painful running with an injured noggin, but eh… I'll hold out.
"Damn, I knew I should've made this in alphabetical order! Oh wai- Huh?"
"Oh my life, Neptune! You were amazing!"
"Lance! Is your head okay?" then Compa took a hold of my head and inspected it. "Eh, don't worry woman, I'll hold out… I got the author with me, so…"
And a pillar of light shone brighter than the Excalibur itself. And when it calmed down, Compa and I were greeted by the reappearance of…
"Phew, that was tiring!"
"Well done, Neptune. And Compa, Lance… are you two okay?"
"Well, I'm fine lickity split- wait, who was that?"
"Yessy! And it's all thanks to Nep-Nep…"
"Uh, I helped out a bit too, you know…" I say in a not-so-serious tone.
"Umm… Nep-Nep… whose voice is this? Where is it coming from?"
"Hello, ladies and gentleman, I introduce to you, Ms. Heavenly Voice, Histoire!"
I was then taken aback when I heard the author, "Author? You know the disembodied voice?"
"Ahem, I'm like a disembodied voice too, you know. Anyway…"
"Hey, author, can I call her Histy?" Neptune asked.
"You may call me Histy. And nice to meet you, Compa, Lance Axlrod, and MiddonaitoShi…"
"Oh, I'm flattered… *snickers*"
"Okay, let's cut to the chase here. Who are you two?" I just ask.
"I am MiddonaitoShi, a Fanfiction Author working for the Hub."
"And I am Histoire. A tome."
But before the both of the disembodied voices could add in anything else, something shook the ground, and along came…
"rrrRRRRRROAR!" N-no way…
"IT'S STILL ALLLIIIVVVEEE!" Both of the girls shouted, almost giving me ear pain.
"Then are we just gonna stand here?!"
Both of them then tried to run, but it seemed like they're both exhausted. Which makes sense. "Why don't you two…"
~ Back to present ~
So you guys get the gist of it. Goddammit, this guy won't quit! Ah! And the wound reopened!
"Uh, you do know that you're running around in circles…"
"What?!" I shout. I've been delaying?! Fine, I run to where I think we came from. Oh, there it is!
"Hey, Neptune, on 3, hang onto the ledge… One, two, three!"
I jump up, giving Neptune a boost. Yes! She got out! Okay, now it's Compa's turn… I get her off my back and kneeled down, with my palms facing upwards. She seemed hesitant. "Oh, come on! I ain't gonna peek!" I said, blushing. There, she gave no second thoughts and stepped on my palms. With my strength, I boost her up. "Neptune! Give her a hand!"
Okay, now both of them are out. Time for my escape as well. Crap! Here it comes! I quickly run and run towards the wall, attempting a wall-run. Step, step, step, let go of footing, and… GRAB! Hrah! Gah! Okay, hehe… I'm out! "Let's get out of this joint!"
~ Back at Compa's home, a few minutes later ~
"That was exhausting…"
"Well, you said it," I answered.
And then… my vision is fading. I recline on the sofa. This wound… "Lance!"
"I'm fine… I j-just need rest, is all…"
"Take a rest, Lance… You need it. I'll fill you in on the stuff that happened later…"
But before I could retort, my eyes felt heavy. And so… I sleep.
"What's more surprising is Lance's power… Hmm… who changed his power in my planner?"
~ Unknown location ~
"Goo!" a dogoo squealed as it brought back a strand of hair for the mysterious man from earlier. "Good boy! Now, there's evidence that Lance is in this world…"
"That's what I've been saying… we all are in this… 'Gamindustri'…"
*rustling*
"Hush, woman…"
And unexpectedly, a young brown haired man in glasses showed up.
"Looks like Avenir finally caught us…"
