Walking towards my house had never been as nerve wracking as it was right in this moment. With Mark's hand in mine I felt just the slightest bit better but I knew it wouldn't last long. Whatever courage I had before was fast dissolving as we finally came to a stop in front of my house. The lights from the house seemed brighter against the black night sky. I could see the silhouette of my family sitting in the living room. I turned to Mark with a terrified look complete with wide eyes.
"Mark, I don't think I can do this. I'm not sure if seeing them is a good idea. I might say something that I regret later and that won't help anyone. Or what if they see me and just ignore me, or what if they yell at me and don't listen, or...or..." Mark squeezed my hand comfortingly.
"Maddy, they aren't going to do that. And you're not going to say something you regret because this has been on your mind for a while now, I can tell. You need to talk to them, let them know how you are feeling." His words calmed me down some. Turning back towards the door I heaved a deep breath. I turned my head to the side to look at Mark once more.
"Will, you come with me...Just for the beginning?" He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
"Of course I will."
"You always know exactly how to help me. Thank you Mark." He nodded bashfully before I started walking towards the door. It was now or never I guess. Putting my hand on the doorknob I took one last deep breathe before entering the house. Walking in my family stopped what they were doing and watched me. Mark entered after me and closed the door behind himself. The room was silent.
"H-hey guys." I waved awkwardly and whatever was holding them in place seemed to loose its grip. My mom immediately jumped off the couch and raced to give me a hug. I stumbled from the impact but gave her a hug back regardless. When was the last time this had happened? I had missed this. When she let go of me I was still shocked by the hug and didn't reach down in time to grab Zoe as she barreled into my legs. I tried to rub her back from my awkward position. I saw Josh from out of the corner of my eye come forward but he didn't move to hug me. He looked a bit mad actually. My dad moved forwards then and gave me a small side hug before letting go. Zoe also let go of my legs and I balanced myself out again. When the hugs stopped and the tension filled the room I knew that I was in trouble. Reaching behind myself I grabbed Mark's hand where no one else could see.
"Maddy, what in the world were you thinking? You were supposed to pick up Zoe!" My mom asked impatiently. Before I could respond my dad butted in.
"And what in the world made you think you shouldn't tell us where you were?"
"Yeah Maddy, for being so smart you messed up big time." Josh mumbled this under his breath but I still heard it. I cringed in on myself. Mark's grip tightened and I looked back to see him glaring at my brother. Had he heard him too? My thoughts were interrupted by Zoe and I turned back around.
"How come you didn't pick me up from school today Maddy? You always do." Deciding that that was the easiest question to answer I let go of Mark's hand and knelt down at her level.
"I wanted to surprise you. It must get boring walking with me everywhere so I thought that Josh could do it today to make things more exciting," Zoe looked at me skeptically before nodding her head in understanding. "Hey Zoe, why don't you go color in our room. I really want to see what you draw." A smile splayed across her whole face and she rapidly sprinted down the hall and into the room. I stood back up and looked back at my parents. I grabbed Mark's hand once again. I was so glad he was here to help me.
"Maddy, answer my question." Dad butted in. I flinched before starting.
"There was no one to tell. You, mom, and Josh were all gone. And Mark was working." He looked angered at my response but conceded, knowing that I was right.
"What about the first question Maddy?" I looked at my mom and looked down at the floor. No one knew about the outlook and Mark had shown it to me in confidence. I didn't want her to know about it. Or about the fact that I had cried the entire day away.
"I don't know but-" I was cut off by Mark.
"Mrs. Shannon, I don't think that's the question you need to be asking." I glanced at him a bit taken aback. I still wasn't sure that I wanted to say anything about what had happened today.
"What do you think I should be asking then Mr. Reynolds." My mom sounded aggravated.
"You should be asking why ma'am." Marks tone was a bit sharper.
"Alright, why Maddy, why in the world were you not there to pick up your sister today? You had nothing else going on! That was the only thing I asked you to do." My voice didn't seem to be working. Every time I opened my mouth no words came out. I didn't know what to do so I just looked down at the floor. Mark's hand in mine brought me back to reality when he began tracing patterns on it with his thumb.
"I just needed a break." I said quietly. Lifting my eyes from the floor I could see my moms face as she scoffed.
"From what Maddy? You don't have anything to do during the day. Why couldn't you have picked up your sister?" Dad jumped in quickly.
"You can't just shirk your responsibilities Maddy. We all have something that we need to do."
"Dad's right Maddy. Your job is to watch Zoe. Not mine. I had to drop everything to go get her and I wasn't able to hang out with my friends all day. That's not cool to drop on me without any warning. Next time just don't rely on me being there." Josh said sassily. Frustrated at seeing the one person who never worked a day in his life suddenly put in my position for a day and already complaining. Frustrated that my parents were berating me for one mistake, when I could count on one hand the amount of times I had ever done something they didn't approve of. Frustrated at them ignoring me and my problems for years... I still couldn't find my voice, even then, as my family began to argue loudly with me. Each one yelling so they could be heard over the others. I stepped back overwhelmed with the onslaught directed towards me.
Suddenly I was transported back to the hallways at my old school. Being pushed into the lockers and yelled at for getting an A on the last test while everyone else was hoping for a curve. Being mercilessly beaten until I couldn't stand. This was exactly what I was worried would happen. Gosh, please don't let this be happening. I was snapped out of my thoughts once again by Mark. Still with my hand in his he stepped in front of me and glared at my family steadily. I looked around him to see them all stop in surprise. My dad got his second wind.
"Mark, I appreciate the fact that you found Maddy and brought her home but I believe that you have overstayed your welcome. This is between our family." Mark didn't break eye contact with my family as he replied.
"I'm staying until Maddy feels comfortable with all of you." My dad's face looked comically taken aback at that.
"Why in the world would she not feel comfortable here?! We're her family! You're out of line solider." Mark stiffened but didn't leave his spot on front of me.
"I don't believe I am." Mark looked back at me with sympathy in his eyes and I could only send him a small shy smile in return. I wasn't ready for this. My dad once again interrupted us.
"Maddy, what is he talking about?! You feel comfortable with us don't you?! Tell him that he can leave!" I flinched and looked up at him with wide eyes, terrified. I hadn't seen him so mad since he was arrested, even with Josh. He seemed to notice for once my dismay and his face turned to one of confusion.
"Maddy?" He reiterated now in a questioning tone. This was my chance to tell them everything and yet...I could just pretend today had never happened. Laugh all of this off as a bad joke and never think about it again. I could just pretend that I was happy. The others would never know. I lent into Mark's back and felt like crying all over again. I felt him shift and suddenly his arms were around me and the house went silent.
"I don't think I can do this." I whispered into his chest. His chin came to rest on my head and he rubbed circles on my back.
"I know that you can." He whispered back. An uncomfortable cough caught my attention. Turning my head I could see my family staring at us intensely. I loosened my grip on Mark and he did the same to me in return before I stepped back from the hug. Looking back at my family I glanced at their faces and saw confusion and worry for once actually directed at me. I decided to start off with what should have been a simple question.
"Do you guys care about me?" The house was silent for much longer than I was hoping. Did it really take them so long to answer this? A sudden laugh caught my attention and I turned to see Josh trying to cover up his smirk.
"What kind of question is that Maddy? Gosh, you're supposed to be the smart one," he said as he rolled his eyes. I flinched once again.
"Where in the world is this coming from Maddy?" My mom asked. My eyes fell to the floor again.
"Ju-just answer the question." My hope that maybe they still did care was fast depleting.
"Maddy of course we care about you. Why would you think that we didn't?" I paused before I answered and turned back to Mark.
"You've already listened to all of this and I don't want you to have to hear all of it again. Also...I kind of need to do this myself. I'll come find you when we've talked, okay?" He looked concerned.
"Are you sure?" I glanced back at my family fidgeting behind us.
"Yeah" He nodded in understanding and I was relieved to see that he wasn't angry. Kissing the crown of my head once again he made his way to the door and stepped outside into the night with one last glance over his shoulder. I turned back to my family. It was now or never.
