AN: Writing three storylines can be so hectic x_x. Updates for JaM (for my Bleach fans who read this, if any), CLHA, and OB,S may be sporadic since I work on each as the muse hits me.
Nevertheless, enjoy the new chapter! It does get a bit suggestive towards the end, but nothing explicit. This story will not contain graphic scenes since I know some people are sensitive to that, and honestly I feel it would take from the story. I may write the scenes out and post them separately at some point, we'll have to see.
Since I like to involve my readers: I already know who "did it", but if you guys had to guess, who would you think hurt Tohru? I'm really curious!
And I mentioned this on OBS, but if anyone has any ideas for a drabble or story that you'd like to read, feel free to leave a request! I can't promise I'll get to them, but I'll consider anything thrown at me.
Tohru was noticeably stressed and tense all throughout the day, her eyes distant and lacking life. There was no energy in her movements as she made her way to the living room to watch TV and sit at the kotatsu, Yuki walking beside her the whole way. It was chilly inside the house from the fresh storm outside so he had given her one of his jackets, not particularly pleased with how light hers were, especially since she had insisted on a bath after waking up, putting her more at risk of catching a cold. He watched as she situated herself, flicking the TV on and leaning forward on her arms as she folded them on top of the table.
"I'll make you some lunch, Tohru-san. You have to be hungry. What would you like-"
"I'm not hungry... Thank you truly for the offer but I'm just... Not..."
Yuki should've expected as much... But it didn't do any good to ease his mind. She hadn't ate since her last meal in the hospital, and that was a pitifully small amount of food. However, he wouldn't pressure her into anything. If she didn't eat within a couple hours when he offered again (there was no way he'd let her cook right now, she needed to relax) he would be a little firmer and try to get her to eat a little cereal at least... Her appetite would likely be understandably curbed for awhile, but she still needed something. Perhaps if he made her something with strawberries he'd have better luck...
For now, he positioned himself behind her. "Would you like me to rub your shoulders, Tohru-chan?" He knew she liked massages, and while he was no masseur, he would try.
"Yes, please..."
Yuki moved closer, resting his hands on her shoulders as she released a deep breath, her body relaxing under his fingers. Applying pressure with his thumbs, he rubbed in slow circles from the center of her back outward. A faint moan, hardly more than a hum, vibrated in the back of her throat as he did so. Taking this as a good sign, he continued. He was careful not to apply pressure to her spine, focusing on relieving the tension knots of her shoulder blades and up. For ten minutes he worked on her, taking her small sounds as encouragement. He squeezed her upper shoulders, rubbed along her shoulder blades, her neck, anything she seemed to like being rubbed. He would've happily gone on much longer, but he was stopped when Tohru leaned back against him, resting her head on his chest and looking up at him with sweet eyes. "Thank you..." Her words were spoken demurely, yet genuinely.
"Anything for my princess." He tilted his head to kiss her temple but stopped himself. "May I?" He wouldn't do anything without permission. He didn't want to accidentally trigger any memories or make her uncomfortable. It came as a shock when a shy hand pressed against his head and pulled him down into a deep kiss, but he willingly returned it and wrapped an arm around her middle. When he withdrew, he gazed into her beautiful green eyes, finally containing a glint of their usual happiness and affection.
"Please don't ask if anything's okay, Yuki-kun... Don't treat me any different... Treat me just how you used to, please. I want you to touch me and kiss me and..." She trailed off, looking away but he still noticed the small tear forming in her eye. "I...want to...forget... Pretend it didn't happen..."
Yuki berated himself mentally. He should've realized that... Tohru wasn't the type that needed to be babied. She was so strong... She was the type to ignore life's troubles and live each day at a time...
He turned her head to face him again, his heart aching when he saw the tears threatening to spill over. He pressed his lips against hers in a feather light kiss, using his thumb to wipe the drop that fell. "Alright..." He leaned his forehead to hers, stroking her cheek with the backs of his fingers as he kept eye contact. Her eyes sparkled with both tears and emotion... As if she couldn't decide between crying or letting her loving side come through again. It broke his heart, and at the same time he was relieved to see the hidden happiness shining beneath the rest. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you, Tohru-chan..."
"I love you too...Y-Yuki-kun..." She choked a bit as she said his name, her eyes closing and streams of water trailing down her face. "I love you so much... P-please... Don't ever go..."
"Never..." He pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here." It was true. Where else could he possible want to be? He always wanted to be by her side. He wanted to always be there to support her, to protect her, to share her happiness, to cheer her up when life knocks her down... He would never abandon his self-appointed post as her body guard.
Yuki leaned and kissed her gently, still being mindful of her reactions despite what she said. If she ever flinched away, he would make a mental note. But she did the exact opposite now, relaxing into his touch and gladly receiving the affection. He loved this girl so much. Her sweet voice, her eyes that always twinkled with unabashed love and euphoria, her strawberry-tinted scent, her smile... He pulled back from the kiss, pressing their foreheads together with his eyes closed. Why would anyone... Do such atrocious things to this innocent ray of sunshine? If he ever found out what disgusting degenerate lowlife did this, he'd be sure to castrate them among other more violent things...
Days slowly passed. Tohru gradually became more like herself, waking up and smiling at Yuki as soon as she saw him when she opened her eyes. They had wordlessly agreed she would stay in his room, and he made sure he was the first thing she saw every morning. It was one thing to promise with words that he'd always be at her side to protect her, but it was another thing entirely to back up that pledge with actions.
However, despite his protests it seemed as though she tried to seduce him once or twice a day. A hand would fall on his thigh, or fingers would lace in his hair at the nape of his neck as she brought him close to her in a passionate kiss, or sometimes a kiss would "miss" his mouth and fall on his neck. He would gently remove himself from her, reminding her she was still injured and needed time to heal. He would kiss her softly and innocently, whispering words of validation that she was not a sex object and she was very loved without it. Was he failing to show her he cared?... Did she still doubt his affection and commitment? Why else would she be trying so hard to convince him to bed her?
Usually she accepted his words with a kind smile, a small "thank you," and a fond hug that still made his heart soar. But today, she wasn't having it.
They were in her room, sitting on her bed and discussing her friends that were away at college, when after a couple minutes of comfortable silence, she slipped a leg over his, climbing onto his lap.
"Tohru-chan... What-" Yuki's hands instinctively moved to her hips to hold her steady. She seemed to take this as encouragement, her soft lips capturing his in a passionate heat. Dainty hands raised to position themselves one clinging to the fabric of his shirt and the other tangling in his hair. Hips rolled forward into a more...compromising position. Tohru had been rather bold with her other attempts to coax him, but this took the cake. His eyes wide in shock, his body went rigid as he tried to thoroughly assess the situation. He could feel a twist in his groin, a natural response to the pressure and movement against him, but it annoyed him he couldn't control his body. He wanted her, but this wasn't right.
"Please, Yuki..." Her ordinarily exuberant voice was low in a quiet whispered plea, accented with yearning. He truly wanted to give her what she asked for. He never could deny her... But this- this could hurt her! And on top of that, she might not be mentally prepared for it... There was the possibility she wanted it now but then would later curl up in a cocoon of blankets in regret and sorrow and he would only have himself to blame.
He sighed, forcing himself away from her begging kisses and guiding her hips back away from him. "No, Tohru..."
"But-"
"It could hurt you...both physically and emotionally."
She hung her head avoiding his gaze. Tense silence filled the air for what felt like years. It was deafening. He was scared even to breathe.
Her hands curled tighter. "Why..." Green eyes looked up at him, a mix of anguish and indignation flicking behind them. "Why won't you... Why won't you touch me anymore?" Tears built up along her lower lid. "Am I dirty to you now? Do you see me as ruined?" She started shaking... Yuki's heart shattered, shards piercing his lungs and making it impossible for him to breathe. How could she even think such horrible things? "Don't you want me anymore?... Am I not good enough?..." She lowered her head again. A couple tears fell onto his lap. Without thinking, the former rat pulled her against him, tilting her head up and kissing her firmly. She tensed for a moment before relaxing into it, her hands loosening on him. He moved his mouth against hers with fervor, channeling as much love and passion through it to try and convey how wrong she had been. How truly adored she still was.
He pulled away, locking her eyes with his.
"Tohru-chan, I never said any of those things. You are not dirty. You are not ruined." He moved his lips to her neck, trailing them over her skin. "You're still my beautiful perfect angel. You still have the entirety of my heart and nothing is going to change that." He planted a lingering kiss on her pulse point. A fluttering sigh fell from her lips. "I want you. Just as much as I always have. But please understand, my precious onigiri... You need to be ready and understand your worth is not determined by sex... I love everything about you." He placed several tender kisses along her smooth cream skin, stopping at the groove of her collar bone. "If this is what you truly want, and not just because you feel like it's the only bond we share or that you have to, then fine. But please. Know that even if we never do it again, I'm always going to be here. I'm always going to love you. I'm always going to protect you. You will always be my heart."
Yuki returned his lips to her pulse point, tenderly applying kisses across her skin. The brunette seemed to calm. Practically putty in his hands, she leaned into him and his ministrations. Soft exhales left her, her pleased sighs music to his ears. He was perfectly content holding her like this and remedying his withhold of physical affection over the past week and a half. It was time she physically was shown, time she physically felt his love for her. She had always been so easy to soothe with a simple kiss. So easy to convince to lower her guard when she had a bad day. Ever since they first became a couple, she had been that way. He discovered a month in that she possessed a particular fondness of a delicate kiss placed on the curve of her neck and shoulder. She had been stressed from work and school - graduation had been around the corner afterall - and Kyo's foul attitude pushed the usually serene jolly girl to her edge. Dishes were scrubbed with a noticeable lack of patience. She transmitted her ill will through the washcloth, her face slightly scrunched with vexation as she ruthlessly scoured the plate. Acting on a whim, Yuki had walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him and pressing his face into the crook of her neck. 'Relax, Tohru-san,' he had said. 'Frustration does not become you. What did those poor dishes do to upset my princess?'
Her movements had stopped, but her body was still tense in annoyance. 'Nothing.' Her voice was firm, short in warning. Anyone else would've left the room, but not Yuki. He would always stay at her side and calm her. She could lob a knife at him and he'd still be there. He knew his riceball better than anyone. Leaving would do more harm than good, and he knew how to approach her, what to say to calm her.
'You know I don't believe you. So tell me... What happened?' He bent his head to kiss that tender spot on her trapezius, and instantly she had melted against him, leaning into him and sighing.
'I couldn't find leeks at the store...'
Even now, Yuki could almost laugh at how upset she had gotten over something so small. At the same time, this fact made his heart swell unnaturally with love. Love...what a simple, overly used understatement for how he felt. This was so much more than love... It was intense loyalty, undeniable commitment no matter what life threw at them. It was a powerful need to always be at her side, to protect her... To make her smile even on rainy days. He could never refuse her anything she wanted... Anything her beautiful heart desires was hers.
So that's why he didn't resist when she tugged at his clothing. She knew she didn't have to. She knew he was more than willing to wait, or even never do it again. But she wanted it. She only wanted him. She wanted him to make her feel good and loved in the most intimate way again. And he had selfishly denied her for too long.
Yuki laid there, petting Tohru's soft chestnut strands as she slept. Her hands were curled up near her face against his chest. She was adorably nestled up in her dreams like an innocent child, a contented smile he so missed accenting her features. No one other than him knew just how deceiving her looks were. She did harbor a childish innocence, but by no means was she naive. That was evidenced by how vehemently she pursued him, how heatedly her lips pressed to his. Their activities were never rough or grossly animalistic, but they were passionate in the most devoted warm way. It was always a physical expression of their solicitude and ardor and love for each other. This time had been no different. The times she flinched from his touch, he pulled his hand away and eased her. The times a tear would form, he grabbed her chin and made her look him in the eyes and see that it was him. He wouldn't continue until she relaxed and felt safe. He took things slow and patiently, whispering several expressions of love as he lavished her neck, shoulder, chest, and face in sweet kisses. He'd tell her as he looked into her eyes, or kissed her with only the warmest of caresses of his lips over hers. He voiced how beautiful she was, how his heart never ceased to radiate irrepressible adoration and devotion for her, how he wanted her to be his and he hers for the rest of their lives...
The rat pressed his lips to her forehead, smoothing his hand over her naked upper back. A soft noise emitted from her throat, the riceball burying herself closer against him. He never felt so content as he did whenever she was near, and he would protect his angel from the demons of the world, even if it cost him his life. If home was where the heart is, then his home would always be at her side.
