We're History!
The time machine made the temporal equivalent of a crash landing, the effect of which was tangible and forceful, but difficult for the travellers to grasp.
"What happened?" Callie asked rubbing her head, but not sure why.
"We seem to have had some sort of malfunction," Callum replied. "A bit like when your car breaks down on the road and you don't make it all the way home."
"How far did we make it?" Marie asked, trying to stay calm.
Callum looked at a display in front of him and a hint of panic flickered in his eyes. "That doesn't matter. I'll just find out what's wrong and fix it, then we'll be on our way again.
Callum donned the Thinking Cap before nervously hurrying from the time machine and walked around to the back where he opened up a maintenance hatch. He waved away the grey smoke that billowed out with a hiss and squinted at the machine's innards as the smoke cleared.
Bessie was staring out of the window, noting that the area seemed notably more vegetated than the Inkopolis she was used to, when her boyfriend's head popped up in front of her, startling her.
"We've blown a resistor." The octoling said, his voice sounding somewhat quivery. "The good news is, I can put us together a quick fix with some iron ore and that should do to get us back to our own time. Wait here and I'll go find a piece."
"Maybe I can help…" Bessie began.
"I said stay in the time machine."
There was a short silence and Bessie looked at her boyfriend with genuine concern.
"What is it you're not telling me?"
"Don't worry about it." He smiled, which concerned the inkling girl even more.
Callum brought his face closer to the window so that he could address the Squid Sisters, too. "Everyone, wait here. I'll be right back."
Bessie watched Callum jog in between the trees until he reached a clearing with slightly less grass coverage about twenty feet away. She saw him stoop to pick something up, which he then waved at her reassuringly. Bessie had barely inhaled to call out, congratulating him on his find, when her world crumbled.
Callum fell down as though his legs had forsaken him, and lay motionlessly with his head behind a nearby bush. Bessie watched in horror as his lower body, too, disappeared like he was being dragged away. "CALLUM!" She roared as she barged out of the time machine followed closely by Callie and Marie, and sprinted for the spot where he had been, but by the time she reached it, he was gone without a trace.
Actually, there was one trace.
"What's this?" Bessie picked up an object that looked on one side like a needle and on the other side like a feather as the Squid Sisters caught up with her.
"That looks pointy…!" Callie reached out
"Don't touch that…!" Marie cautioned too late and Callie sank to the ground, with her eyes shut and her expression vacant.
Bessie fell to her hands and knees, her breath ragged. She stayed like that until Marie walked up to her and helped her to her feet. She had checked Callie's vitals and found that she had just been tranquilised. "It's not safe out here. Help me get Sleeping Beauty back to the time machine."
Back inside, the gravity of the situation was sinking in, and staying calm was proving more difficult by the minute.
"We don't know what era this is…!"
"We don't know what's out there…!"
"Why didn't he just tell me?"
"Why didn't we bring weapons?"
Bessie looked at the dart that had knocked out two of the people she cared about most in the world. It was her only clue and it told her nothing. Not where it had come from, not who made it, not where they had gone. Someone had taken her beloved prisoner and not only did she have no idea where to even begin looking, she would have no way to defend him or herself were she to try and save him.
"Unbelievable." Marie was still complaining "We go back fourteen thousand years because Octodad says it's destiny, and we have to sign three random posters to fix space-time or whatever, and as soon as we get everything done that needs doing, we get doomed to oblivion!"
Suddenly a spark shot between two of Bessie's nerves.
"We find him." Bessie said softly
"And how do you plan on doing that?" Marie asked
"I'm not planning anything…" her heart grew. "It's all destined to happen!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't you see?" Bessie was piling up hope by the second. "We have the time machine!"
"And no pilot!" Marie wasn't following.
"That's just the thing!" Bessie was nearly shouting now. "If Callum and the Thinking Cap never make it home, Dr Akkoro can't finish building the time machine to give to his past self to send us back with in the first place! We're in the time machine right now, which means we find Callum and make it back home! We're already destined to succeed!"
Bessie walked out of the machine. "Marie, stay with Callie. I'm going to find him."
"How do you know where to look?!" Marie called after her.
"I don't!" Bessie called back. "But I know I'll find him!"
Soon after setting out, Bessie heard a rustle. She crept closer and peered through a gap in some dense leaves, and at last saw something she recognised. There was a lone, young inkling man. He appeared to be waiting for someone and sure enough, to Bessie's surprise, he was joined by an octoling man. Bessie started piecing together clues of what time she had ended up in, not knowing she would have her answer the moment the inkling man spoke.
"Thanks for coming out to see me old friend. This war has been going on for over a year now. I really don't want it to affect…"
Bessie had suddenly realised the octoling held a knife behind his back and was tightening his grip, getting ready to strike. Without thinking she picked up a rock and flung it at the octoling. It connected with his hand just as he was bringing the blade toward his friend, and disarmed him.
The octoling shot a shocked look at Bessie, followed by a look of regret at the man. He then stormed off, but not before giving one more glance at Bessie and mumbling something that sounded like "Impudent inksquirt..!"
The inkling stared after his friend in shock, and eventually turned to his rescuer. "My friend sometimes lets bad politics get to his head and often this makes him do something rash. You've saved him from doing just that but more importantly, you've saved my life. I owe you one. What's your name?"
Bessie thought it a good idea not to give her real name but wasn't entirely sure why she thought that. It had just always seemed to have been the norm in time travel movies. Instead, she said the first name that popped into her head: "My name's… err… Callie-Marie." The first name that popped into her head was more often than not two names.
"What are you doing out on your own in the middle of the war?" The man asked.
"One of my allies got captured." She replied.
"Then how about we go get him back?" There was an adventurous glint in the inkling man's eye. "I know where the nearest Octarian prison camp is and one of my friends can loan you a weapon!"
Bessie was silent for a moment as she pieced together a few facts that seemed at first not to fit very well together, but she eventually made them fit. "I'm in!" She said at last. Just give me a few moments.
"Marie! Marie!" Bessie made a stop by the time machine to update Marie on the recent developments, and to check on Callie. Callie was phasing in and out of consciousness, occasionally mumbling deliriously, which was at least a step up from total lifelessness.
"I know what time this is! I know what happened to Callum! The Octarians took him! We're slap-bang in the middle of the Great Turf War!"
"Are you sure it was the Octarians, though?" Marie asked. "Why would they capture one of their own?"
"Because he was wearing the Thinking Cap! It made him look like an inkling!"
Callum awoke in an Octarian prison. The tranquiliser hadn't knocked him out for as long as his attackers had anticipated, as it had octo ink as a base which made it less effective on octolings. However, since the Octarians believed he was still unconscious, Callum decided to remain motionless and see if he could gather any information from his captors.
"Come and meet the group!" Bessie's new friend called as they reached the location where his splatoon had set up camp. He began to introduce them and Bessie's jaw dropped when she realised who she was dealing with.
"The younger inkling's name is Sepius. Together he and I form the firepower for this group. The little fuzzy one is called Judd. He has been in more turf wars than all of us combined and possesses an uncanny ability for sensing ink. Judd is invaluable for planning advances as he makes it impossible for anyone to Ambush us. The horseshoe crab is Ammoni Shellendorf (Ammoses for players of the North American version), weapons expert. He sees to it that all of our weapons are in tip-top shape."
Bessie was mesmerized. "You guys… you're the Squidbeak Splatoon…" She turned to the inkling man whose life she had saved earlier. "That would make you…"
"Cap'n Cuttlefish. In the flesh and at your service!" The Squid Sisters' young grandfather took a bow. "Everyone, listen up. Now that we're all together, I'd like to introduce Callie-Marie. This girl showed great bravery earlier and as a reward, I would like to make her an honorary member of the Squidbeak Splatoon! But Splatoons have only ever had four members since ancient times, so let's call you Agent Five!"
Bessie's knees were inches away from buckling under her. She glanced down at a younger, much skinnier looking Judd, who was looking away as though pretending not to listen.
"… and we have our next mission!" Cap'n Cuttlefish continued. "We're storming the Octarian prison camp to rescue Callie-Marie's ally!" He turned to Bessie. "You can find a few spare sets of combat gear in the tent nearby. I'm sure you'll get one in your size."
Bessie emerged from the tent looking like someone who had been born and raised in the era. As she wondered if her turf war skills would be of any use in an actual old-day war, another inkling emerged from the bushes with an old camera hanging around his neck. "Excuse me," he said. "My splatoon has set up camp not too far from yours. I heard from a friend that you guys were here, so I wondered if I could come and take your picture for my son. He's a big fan of the Squidbeak Splatoon."
"Go right ahead!" Cap'n Cuttlefish obliged with his arms folded, leaning on the weapon of choice for his troop, the bamboozler. "Simply snap us where we sit!"
Bessie tried to get up and move out of the camera's view, but Sepius stopped her. "You're one of us. You should be in this picture, too."
When the grateful camera-wielder had left, Bessie felt a tug at her sleeve. She turned around and saw Shellendorf handing her a Bamboozler. "If we're going into battle, you're going to need a weapon!"
"Thanks," Bessie said politely but sheepishly. "I'm not exactly an ace with chargers, though."
Ammoni frowned for a second, before his eyes brightened up and his mouth stretched into a manic grin. "Then how would you like to try out one of my top secret anti-octopus weapon prototypes?"
Bessie felt like she was about to have an honour overload. As if meeting Cap'n Cuttlefish in his glory days wasn't enough, she got to save his life, see the Squidbeak Splatoon in person, and even join them for a day, and now Sheldon's Grandpappy was offering her a chance to use one of his legendary weapons.
The armoury was at Ammoni's house, a short walk away (and not far from where the time machine was standing). The horseshoe crab opened a large wooden chest, and inside Bessie saw a few familiar shapes lying in hollows cut out of a thick layer of foam. She spoke without thinking. "Oh, I know these! I've used some of them!"
Ammoni frowned again. "Impossible. These weapons are top secret and the only ones of their kind. I know, because I drew up the blueprints and built them myself."
It dawned on Bessie as she picked up the Dynamo Roller, feeling the subtle differences in weight distribution and the feel of gripping the handle that these were not the same weapons Sheldon kept at Ammo Knights. Sheldon could never quite recreate his grandfather's inventions perfectly from the blueprints, and often made custom designed editions of existing weapons, swapping out the sets with other subs and specials. This, on the other hand, was the real thing.
Soon the team of five were treading a small footpath through the bushes, with Judd in the lead, followed closely by Cap'n Cuttlefish, Bessie and Sepius. Ammoni brought up the rear carrying his bulky knapsack filled with tools and spare parts.
Judd suddenly stopped walking and froze in place. He was completely motionless, except for his twitching whiskers.
"What ya' got there, Bucko?" Cap'n Cuttlefish whispered as he leaned closer.
"Ink," Judd began with the obvious. "Octarian ink. And a lot of it. It's close, but not headed for us. I've never picked up such a large amount in one place."
"Like… a large army of Octolings?" Sepius ventured.
"More like an ink tank the size of a century old zapfish." Judd's words sent chills through his comrades.
"If it's not going to bother us right now, let's press on with the task at hand." Agent Five suggested. "We'll worry about it later."
"Let me out!" Callum demanded from the simple cage where he was being held.
"Silence, Inkling!" the Octarian keeping watch over the lone prisoner barked back at him. "You'll stay there until we have a use for you!"
"I'm not an Inkling!" Callum removed the Thinking Cap, baring his distinctly Octoling tentacles. "I was on an undercover mission by order of Captain Kaharoa!" Callum had heard the name while acting unconscious, and knew that this particular high-ranking official had left the camp earlier.
The guard's demeanour changed instantly, and he fumbled with the keys to let Callum out. "I am so sorry, Sir!"
"That's quite alright." Callum decided it best not to cause a stir. "We'll forget any of this ever happened." He patted the guard on the cheek with slight force, causing him to wince, turned his back and walked out.
The prison camp was quite large and densely guarded, which seemed strange to the members of the Squidbeak Splatoon considering no Inklings were known to have been captured except for Agent Five's Ally (whom they were unaware was actually an Octoling). Thanks to Judd's guidance, they were able to reach a side of the camp that had only two guards patrolling back and forth. All the fences were fortified with enemy ink to make passing through them in squid (or octo) form impossible, but they could still be climbed over, provided one could remain unseen for long enough.
And that was exactly Cap'n Cuttlefish's plan. He disconnected the laser sighting from his Bamboozler, "So they don't see me aiming at them." He explained when Bessie asked. When the two guards' patrols intercepted an imaginary line originating from Cap'n Cuttlefish, he let fly a sharp stream of colour and they burst into two puddles of ink, each with a little octo-wisp floating away.
"We have a second or five to get in before they can use their bodies again and one of 'em sounds the alarm!" Cap'n Cuttlefish alerted. "Best make it count!"
Judd was over the fence first thanks to his feline agility, and he quickly plotted the path that would get them the furthest into the camp before they'd get swarmed by octotroopers, octobombers, and more minions of the Octarian forces tasked with keeping the likes of Cuttlefish and his Splatoon out of the camp.
When the sirens began to blare, the group was already at the hub of the camp, which meant that enemies were charging at them from all directions. The inklings stood in a circle facing outward, with Judd and Ammoni in the middle, and defended their supports from the onslaught.
Bessie swung her roller with all the force she would usually use when handling a Dynamo Roller back home, which she found was more than what was necessary when wielding the work of master craftsmanship loaned to her by the founder of Ammo Knights. She flung a massive surge of ink in an arc in front of her, obliterating everything Octarian for several feet. When she ran with the roller she found that the dynamo contained within powered a small pump that would oversaturate the head, the effect of which was that running with the roller also sprinkled ink forward, keeping enemies at a distance and neutralising some of their attacks.
Cap'n Cuttlefish and Sepius were picking off enemies quite rapidly for two charger users. When the leader saw an opening, he inked a path in between the oncoming hoards and called out to Ammoni before disconnecting his ink tank. He swapped it for an empty one and swam through the new trail he had just made filling his new tank up. Meanwhile, the horseshoe crab connected the full tank, which he had just received from Cuttlefish, to a Bamboozler of his own and added his strength to the battle.
When the oncoming forces began to thin out, a voice came from Cap'n Cuttlefish's radio:
"This is Inkling Stronghold calling Squidbeak Splatoon! Cap'n Cuttlefish, do you copy?!" The voice was barely intelligible amid radio static and the sound of explosions.
Cap'n Cuttlefish worked his radio while he continued to fire his Bamboozler using one hand, without looking. "This is Cuttlefish, standing by!"
"We need you at the stronghold ASAP!" The explosions grew louder. "It's…" The signal cut out.
"Get to the stronghold!" Bessie insisted. "I'll go get my friend!" Bessie was actually relieved to part ways with Cap'n Cuttlefish at this point, since she could not imagine what would have transpired had the young war hero and his splatoon learned that her ally was an octoling.
"Here!" Cap'n Cuttlefish handed over his Bamboozler. "So your friend has something to shoot his way out with. Ammoni can give me another one on the way over."
"What are you doing, Soldier?!" A superior officer had discovered Callum sneaking around. "Didn't you hear the siren?! We're under attack!"
Callum flinched in disgust at the octoshot the officer tried to shove into his hand.
"Do we have a problem, Maggot?!" The superior was inching away from pulling rank and toward losing his patience.
"Sorry, Sir!" Callum tried to keep his composure as he raised the Thinking Cap. "I have been sent on an important undercover mission at the Inkling camps!"
"I don't give two inkstains about your undercover mission!" The superior thundered. "When the sirens go off, everyone takes up arms!"
Callum felt himself shaking on the inside. "I'm under order… from Captain Kaharoa…"
The burly octoling seemed to calm down. "I see. Where is the Captain now?"
"I believe he's gone out, Sir." Callum felt relief wash over him.
"No, he hasn't." the superior said softly as he picked Callum up by his shirt's collar. "He's standing right in front of you."
"Callum!" Bessie called out instinctively just as she entered the room. Callum and Kaharoa both turned their heads and with a single glance Bessie communicated a plan of action.
While Kaharoa was distracted, Callum entered Octo form and freed himself, coiling his arms around Kaharoa's feet. At the same time Bessie shook her roller, spraying ink at the towering octoling's face. It did little more than sting his eyes and send him reeling back, but this was enough to make him trip since Callum was holding his feet.
Callum took Bessie's hand and she helped him over the patch of floor she had just inked, before painting a bigger divide between themselves and Kaharoa.
"He's in league with the enemy!" The captain screamed as he rose to his feet. He trudged through the squid ink separating him from the two invaders like it was mud, holding his octoshot at the ready to fire at them as soon as he got close enough. Bessie threw Cap'n Cuttlefish's Bamboozler at Callum and the two of them let Kaharoa have it as they inched backwards away from his advance. It took three hits from them both but eventually they brought him down.
The two embraced and kissed before Callum began: "Bessie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought I'd get us out of…"
"There's no time for that," Bessie said gently. "Everything is as it should be. Now, put on the cap, and if anyone asks, my name is Callie-Marie. We need to get to the Inkling Stronghold! Something big is happening there!"
"I know!" Said Callum. "It's the Great Octoweapons! I heard some of the guards talking while they thought I was still unconscious! But we can sabotage them from this side! This isn't just a prison camp: They keep the generator for the Octoweapons here!"
The reunited loved ones raced down the corridors, splatting the occasional Octarian minion, until they reached a corridor from which they heard a humming sound. "This must be it!" Callum ventured.
Bessie saw a cable coming from the passageway. "Can you believe this runs all the way to the Great Octoweapons attacking the Inkling Stronghold? Help me cut it!"
"It's no use," Callum replied. "It's unbreakable. But it's plugged into the reactor like any normal wall socket so if, I don't know, someone were to carelessly pull it, the Octoweapons would be rendered powerless. By the time the Octarians realise what's going on, it will be too late."
"Come back here with that!" Ammoni Shellendorf's wife was chasing after an octotrooper that had broken into her husband's workshop, but she could not catch up to its cruiser, and it made off with a small pouch containing some of his blueprints and a portable generator.
When Callum and Bessie got to the stronghold, all the Octarians had retreated, and the Great Octoweapons were scattered lifelessly across the ground. "Over here!" Bessie recognised Sepius' voice. Cap'n Cuttlefish's foot was pinned under the Octostomp, and the others were trying to dig him out.
But before she and Callum could lend a hand, the loud, menacing voice of Kaharoa snatched away the feeling of victory. "I'll take this stronghold by myself if I have to! But not before I have terminated the great captain of the Squidbeak Splatoon!"
He stood atop the Octowhirl, a large, spherical mass of ink contained in two resilient shells, and held a miniature generator one of his minions had stolen from Ammoni's house. Kaharoa manned the Octoweapon and the generator brought it back to life.
"I know how to take care of this!" Bessie stepped forward. "We just ink the ground in front of it and it will be vulnerable!"
"That won't work." Cap'n Cuttlefish was still trapped. "The ground here is too porous. It soaks our ink right up. Our only option is to make a break for the creek nearby, but he's after me and I'm not going anywhere."
"I'll help get you out." Callum dove into the Octarian ink (staying in humanoid form so as not to give himself away) and pushed at the Octostomp with all his might. At the same time, the Squidbeak Splatoon, in oblivious awe of Callum's apparent feat of endurance, pulled their captain in the opposite direction and at last he was free.
"Go!" Cuttlefish commanded and they all sprinted for the nearest body of water. But when Bessie looked back, she saw he was struggling to run with his bruised ankle. The Octowhirl was rolling straight at him. She ran back and tucked herself under his shoulder, barely getting him out of the way. They were immediately joined by Callum, who handed back his Bamboozler.
"Thanks, Kiddo!" Cap'n Cuttlefish leant on his weapon like a cane, and the three of them darted for the water.
There was an deafening splash and the Octowhirl resurfaced, but all of its ink had drained into the water, and as Captain Kaharoa emerged all he saw was five streams of ink coming straight at his face.
Callum had gone ahead to fit his quick-fix to the time machine. Callie was back on her feet, and she and Marie were overjoyed to see he'd made it back. They shared their respective sides of the events that had transpired after Callum had been taken. As they could at least be certain there were no Octarians about, the Squid Sisters were out getting some fresh air before the last of their trip home.
"So Callie's made a full recovery?" The Octoling asked Marie.
"Just about," she replied, "She still gets a few words mixed up, but it's not as bad as just after she came to."
"I'll be right as hamburger by the time we get around to hosting this last Splatfest!" Callie said with a smirk and one eye closed "So, are you ready to sing City of Colour and Ink Me Up until we're both blue in the face?"
"Yeah," Marie gave a naughty grin. "But wouldn't it be a shame if someone didn't stick to the program and started singing Calamari Inkantation halfway through?"
"The time machine should be all fixed up now." Callum said as he closed the maintenance hatch and dusted off his hands. The inkling cousins-who-may-as-well-be-sisters joined hands and walked back in.
Callie frowned and looked up at the overhead tree branches.
"What is it, Callie?" asked Marie
"Nothing," Callie answered. "I just… thought I heard purring."
Back at the camp, Bessie had asked Cap'n Cuttlefish aside. "I can't thank you enough for all you did. Believe me when I say you have no idea what a great service you have done us."
"Think nothing of it," Cuttlefish replied. "Yer one of us!"
There was silence for a moment.
"Callum and I aren't from around here. We have to leave."
"Can't risk people finding out you have and octoling boyfriend," Cap'n Cuttlefish comforted. "I understand."
Bessie was stunned. "How did you…"
"This codger's more observant than he looks!" Cuttlefish gave a wink. "Y'think yer the only inkling ever to befriend an Octarian? Anyway, I hope we meet again someday. And whatever happens, you'll always be a member of the Squidbeak Splatoon."
Bessie's eyes were welling up. She hugged Cap'n Cuttlefish and turned to go.
"… By the by," the young war hero added one last thing. "You've saved my life twice now, so I guess I owe ya' two. I wish I could name my kids after you but the missus already got her heart set on a whole bunch o' names. Tell ya' what, though. I'll make sure my kids name their kids after ya'."
Callie and Marie were getting ready for their final Splatfest. Their journey to another time seemed in hindsight to have been one of the most fun and rewarding things they had ever done.
"So what are we gonna do now that Splatfests are over?" Wondered Callie "Just hosting the news could get really dull."
"Maybe we can have occasional shows in the plaza," Marie mused. "Just for fun."
Callie's eyes twinkled "Do you think Callum's dad would let us use the time machine again? Maybe we can take Gramps along next time! He can watch from backstage!"
Marie chuckled and gave her cousin a tight hug.
Callum embraced Bessie outside the entrance to Inkopolis from Octo Valley, before going off to visit his father. When Cap'n Cuttlefish heard a knock on his door, he opened it up to find a tearful Bessie grinning from ear to ear.
"I hope you have plenty of biscuits, because we have a lot to talk about!"
The End
