Now that you know about my youth and about my passion for swords and fighting I want to tell you about my real self. About my dreams and thoughts. Cause, well from the outside I seemed to be strong and unrelenting like my sword. The truth was that I owned the sensitive heart of a girl. No one knew about this, because I always wore a shield of insensitivity and sarcasm. I despised sensitive women like Arwen and Celebrían. Instead I adored strong men like Mithrandir and Celeborn, their stories would be known by many; they would be remembered in eternity. And even though for myself I wasn't nothing more than a young women, a shield maiden; still that honour was what I wanted for myself. I wanted my name to echo through the ages. Still the continue fighting and murdering exhausted me. And this exhaustion finally drove me to Lothlorien.

I wandered a few months about the eternal grass and my physical wounds healed. But still my soul did not wanted to rest . There were days in that time when I wondered if it would be better to follow my mother and to sail to Valinor after all that years that were filled with fine deeds. But even there I could not settle in it, and I dropped the idea of sailing. I heard that my cousins and Estel had moved north, and had joined the Rangers, and because of that news I felt more restless than ever. I searched for a goal in life but I couldn't find. Finally I left Lothlorien and went to Gondor. In those days this country was ruled by Turgon and I served under him for five years. I gained a great fame under the name Vajdar. It filled my heart with pride, but my soul stayed empty. In those years I also met Gandalf in Minas Tirith for several times. He advised me to return to Lothlorien or Rivendell. But I refused to listen to his advice. One day he said to me: 'Vaisha , I know you've fought for glory and honour instead of good and against evil. Watch out not be filled up by only that feeling of might and strength. Discover who you truly are, search for deepest feelings of your heart. Don't give yourself away, don't become a murderer alone. Because that will destroy you. Let the people remember your goodness and love; not your sword. Go back to Lórien or Rivendell if you prefer , and ask yourself if you have no more to offer than killing and murdering.'

'I suppose I know who I am Mithrandir, here with the soldiers am I home.' I replied. 'I don't need to return to the major cities of the Elves to know that. Let me stay here and let me be happy until the time comes that I will leave for the Grey Havens.'

Mithrandir had long looked me in the eyes, then he shook his head sadly. 'No Vaisha , daughter of Valaisha, you are not happy here. And how much you want to deny it you are a woman and it is not your destiny to fight until you lose your pleasures in killing. So take my advice and leave before it's too late.' He said.

But almost angry I replied: 'Indeed I am a woman, though I do not see how that fact could make me happier. You know my cousin Arwen, and you know Elrond has protected her from the moment she was born. Now she is locked in Lothlórien, waiting for something she don't know what it is. She dances to the tunes of her father. My lord, please, how can you expect from me to be like her? Everything she is now is where I said goodbye to a long time ago. Let me go my own way; this is the life that I love.'

'You do not know what love is, and that's what you're missing.' Mithrandir replied. 'Watch out you will not see that too late for yourself. Let that secret that you bare not last until the end has arrived. Go home and trust the wisdom of an old wizard.' But I couldn't and after denying everything Mithrandir has said to me, I did not see him anymore.

But after many years at the court of Gondor, I heard that my cousins had returned to Rivendell, and I longed for their company. I had heard about their famous reputation and because of that I desired their company. But when I arrived in Imladris many things already happened there. The weapon of the enemy was found and Gandalf had sent her in the hands of four Hobbits to Rivendell because he hoped the ring would be safe there. But Elrond who was not convinced of that decided to send the ring into Mordor. I was present at the council that followed.

'Strangers from distant lands ... friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite...or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate...this one doom...' After these words, Elrond looked at the only Hobbit in the council. 'Bring forth the Ring, Frodo.' He said, pointing to a stone table in the middle of the room. Frodo stood up and did what my uncle had asked him. And with that act , all eyes were suddenly fixed on the ring as if it was a huge treasure instead of a gem that, under normal circumstances, each one of them could destroy.

'So it is true.' The man who had spoken came from Gondor. Boromir was his name. Born as a descendant of the governors. And as Denethor, now ruler of Minas Tirith would die this young man would take his place.

Frodo sat down again. He closed his eyes for a moment as if he was relieved of a heavy burden. Gandalf looked pityingly at him and for myself I felt a deep sympathy for this boy who was ages younger than me.

Boromir continued: 'In a dream,' he said, gently but firmly, 'I saw the eastern sky grow dark, but in the West persisted a strange light. A voice shouted; 'your doom is near, Isildurs curse is found.' Meanwhile he walked to the table. Carefully. I saw Gandalf followed him accurately with his eyes. And Elrond looked at the man as if he were commit a great crime. Then Boromir held out his hand and whispered again: 'Isildurs curse.'

Suddenly it seemed like voices began to speak . A dark voice without a body.

'Boromir!' Gandalf stood up. The magician in him took over from his usual friendly stature. Elrond rushed from his dais to the table . Heat waves and flash went through my head. Petrified, I sat in the chair . And saw it all happen. Felt the fear, brought there by Sauron. Gandalf spoke with a commanding voice against the ring, or against the spirit it. I didn't knew. Boromir flinched. Elrond shook his head put his hand to his eyes as if he wanted to delete what just happened. The other companions seemed surprised , scared or too shocked to speak. Only Frodo stared with such an intense at the Ring that it looked as if he wanted her more than anything else. Then suddenly the storm seemed to calm down. The light returned, though I could not remember when it was fled.

'Never before spoke someone in Imladris this language.' Elrond seemed to be angry.

'I ask forgiveness, Master Elrond.' Gandalf replied.' But the Black Language will soon be heard everywhere in the West. This ring is indeed full of evil, it is the darkness of Mordor itself.'

But Boromir shook his head. 'It is a gift...a gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, held the forces of Mordor at bay...by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy...let us use it against him!' Meanwhile he stood up from his place.

'No you cannot wield it. None of us can. The one ring answers to Sauron alone...it has no other master.' Aragorn the son of Arathorn had spoken. I realized he had returned to Rivendell after all those years. Would he remember that day in fields? I wondered. Would he remember the story of Asburhn? I had heard about his romance with Arwen, and about the silent truce between him and Elrond.

Boromir turned to face him. 'And what would a ranger know of this matter?' He asked.

At this moment a blonde Elf stood up. I didn't knew him but he beamed distinction. 'This is no mere Ranger.' He spoke. 'He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance.'

'Aragorn? This is Isildurs heir?' Disbelief. All eyes were fixed at Boromir.

'And heir to the throne of Gondor.' The blonde elf agreed.

The man of Gondor seemed upset to me. Than Aragorn raised his hand. 'Sit down Legolas.' He said calmly. But meanwhile Boromir stared at the Elf with a strange look in his eyes . Than he spoke firmly: 'Gondor has no king . And Gondor needs no king.'

Silence. I looked at Aragorns face. He was a man now, blessed with many years to live. But would he stay alive? I was shocked by the emotions that I saw mirror in his blue eyes. Than he bowed his head.

Gandalf broke the silence . 'Aragorn is right…. We cannot use it.'

'You only have a choice,' Elrond agreed with him, 'we have to destroy the Ring.'

I heard an dramatic sigh and despised Boromir in my heart. Then suddenly a dwarf arose from his place. I knew him, and his ancestors. Gimli, he was the son of Gloin. And I could not help smiling when he raised up and said: 'Then…. Where are we waiting for?' And with this words he swung his axe down on the ring. The axe shattered with a deafening crack. Gimli felt backwards to the ground and I heard Frodo moan of pain. What was this ring ? I had heard of it , of the One; the Almighty which was forged during the period of friendship between the Elves and Sauron. Still it seemed to be a normal ring to me. At first sight. But I knew the truth was different. For a moment I understood. I could hear the voice of his Master who called him home. And for the first time during my long life I was afraid.

Than Elrond said: 'The ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we have… No the ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom...only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this.'

Stunned silence. Unbearable thoughts went through my head. I was terrified of the Ring, but the fame and glory attracted me . What if I could make it to Mount Doom and could destroy her? I would never be forgotten. My name would echo through the ages. This could be where I had waited for my whole life. And suddenly my body started to tremble. My eyes found Frodo. He already stared at me, he seemed to know where I was thinking about. I saw fire and ice, dragons and monsters mirroring on his face. I saw such an intense pain that I was shocked. I saw desire, I saw fear. Suddenly the wisdom of the Elves in me understood what kind of Rings this was. She was not only coveted because she brought glory honour and power; but also because she became a part of you. I tore my eyes away from Frodo and stared at the ring. I heard a soft Voice, calling for me but I resisted the urge to answer.

'One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust...the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.' Boromir said.

Legolas -thanks to Aragorn I now knew his name- stood up. He shook his head. 'Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed.'

'And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?' Asked Gimli angry. In my heart I smiled.

'And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?' Boromir asked.

But meanwhile Gimli continued: 'I will never allow it that the ring will fall into the hands of an Elf. No one yet trust an Elf! He cried.

And that words were enough to set up all elves. Gimli was a guest here in Rivendell. This was our city, and still he dared to insult us! Gandalf spoke with a commanding voice, trying to calm down the council, but no one listened ; until a boy's voice reminded us all to silence.

Frodo stood up and spoke twice : 'I will go.' In an eye blink I saw how Gandalf closed his eyes. Defeated. Then he turned to the Hobbit. 'I will go to Mordor,' Frodo said again. 'But I do not know the way.

Gandalf smiled softly. 'I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear.'

Than Aragorn arose from his place. 'If, by my life or death, I can protect you, I will.' He knelt before Frodo. 'You have my sword.'

'And my bow.' Legolas nodded.

But this seemed to Gimli too much. 'And my axe!' He said firmly.

There was silence, then Boromir replied: 'If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.'

He didn't fully expressed these words or from the bushes there sounded a voice that cried: 'Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me!' And with these words a second Hobbit entered the council. But now Elrond mixed in the interruption. 'No indeed,' he said reproachfully, but with a smile on his face, 'it is hardly possible to separate you...even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.'

But my uncle seemed to be shocked for a moment when another Hobbit voice cried: 'Oi! We're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop we are here!' Merry and Pippin. I had seen them in the gardens of Rivendell, searching for adventure.

'Anyway...you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission...quest...thing...Frodo needs someone who can carry all things.' Pippin smiled.

'Well, that rules you out, Pip.' Merry agreed with him.

Elrond smiled, a true smile. Something that I hadn't see too often during my youth. Than my uncle said: 'Nine companions ... So be it . You will be called the Fellowship of the Ring !'

And with that, the decision was took.

If I had more time, I probably had decided to join the companions. Afterwards I had to admit to myself that I was glad that I didn't got the chance to decide so. I was born to fight, not to protect a little hobbit who wore such an important ring. With different feelings I left with the council with my cousins. I spent the further afternoon in my private quarters at court. Meanwhile I listened to the conversations of Elladan and Elrohir. They spoke about the Ring, about Gimli's insults but also about that one Elf that had joined the fellowship. Legolas. I was shocked when I heard that he was my cousin. And I realized it was the first time during my life that I had met a relative of my mother's side. And that kept me busy. Through Legolas I longed to know what my truth was.