Hellooo,
Sorry it's taken me so so so long to update I've been really busy revising for exams and I keep procrastinating haha!
I've got so many idea's for later chapters of this fic yet I didn't have a clue what to write for this one so it took me a while to think of something
This part is shorter than normal but I really wanted to post it before my exams start and this part also prepares for the drama of the next part(and further ones).
Anyway, enjoy(thankyou so much for the reviews by the way-they're lovely and motivating!)
Becca xxx
As a couple of weeks had passed and she had experience more chemotherapy sessions, Carol couldn't help but feel weaker. Sometimes she felt like the life was being drained from her, she so wished that she'd be able to continue with work and doing all the things she had done when she was healthier but she no longer had the energy. Despite her lack of energy, she still felt the same inside; she could never change in that respect. Inside she remained the same woman she was before the cancer and she even still felt like the same teenager at times, especially when David was around.
Sometimes when it was just her, she could trick herself; just for a moment or so, pretend like all this wasn't happening to her. Despite how she felt on the inside, she couldn't deny the reality that was becoming increasingly daunting. The previous night she had been lied in bed, trying to remember what it was like before the cancer, what she was like. She would pretend for a moment that she was healthy, that she could worry about normal things like what to get her grandchildren for their birthday instead of chemotherapy and mastectomies. The harsh reality suddenly interrupted her pretence as she hurried to the bathroom to be sick, the effect of her treatment taking its toll on her.
She now sat in front of her dressing table, her eyes transfixed at herself in the mirror, only it didn't feel the same as she felt inside. With her reflection, came the realisation that nothing was normal anymore, especially not herself. As she brushed through her hair, a sickening feeling emerged in her stomach as strands of hair effortlessly came loose from her scalp; her hair brush becoming more full with hair. With each strand that she lost, she felt as though she was losing herself more and more, images of her inevitable hairless head fixing themselves in her mind. She knew this was going to happen after she stopped using the cold cap, she couldn't help but feel naïve by previously believing the loss of her hair wouldn't have a big effect on her. At the back of her mind she couldn't help but fear it could jeopardise her relationship.
David. He had been so attentive to her the night before. It was hard to wake him up normally but he had knocked on the bathroom door within moments of her being sick. However, she wasn't aware that as he had held her hair back, a few strands of her hair had escaped from her scalp. Yet he had brushed them away, not wanting to upset her when she was already in such a state of vulnerability.
She now put her hair up, clipping bits of hair into place to cover any patches where her hair was getting thinner. As she made her way downstairs, she nearly bumped into Bianca who was just about to make her way up the stairs.
"Oh you're up! Was just coming to bring you a drink" She told her mum as she gave her the cup of tea she was holding
"Thank you" She smiled gratefully as she made her way through to the kitchen. Noticing it was empty she asked "Has your Dad gone to work already?"
"Yeah he went about half an hour ago" Bianca informed her as she started to do the washing up "He forgot his lunch though, remind me to go round and give it to him later"
"No need" Carol told her between sips of tea "I'll go, I need some fresh air"
Carol made her way to the Car Lot, hoping that her brother wasn't there as she wanted to talk to David away from the same environment of the house.
"Carol" David said, looking up from the paperwork he was filling in as she entered the Car Lot. "What are you doing here? You should be relaxing"
Carol raised an eyebrow "Don't David" she warned him before he carried on. She couldn't stay lay in bed, letting her illness to take control of her.
David held up his hands "Sorry" He apologised "Can't blame a man for worrying though"
She nodded before telling him "You forgot your lunch." As she held it up.
Once she had passed David his lunch she sighed as she sat down on the couch in the car lot; trying to relax for a moment as she had been so tense all morning. David sensed that there was something wrong and joined her, remaining silent for a moment in an attempt to allow her to relax.
After a minute or so he gave her a reassuring smile and asked her "What is it?"
Carol shrugged her shoulders, her eyes tiredly moving to look at him "What if I can't fight it?"
"When have you ever let anything beat you Carol?" David asked her as he moved closer towards her, his hand automatically reaching for hers as he felt the need to comfort her "You're a fighter Carol, my fighter. That doctor said you're doing well so far"
"Yeah, so far" Carol highlighted "I just don't think I've got the energy to keep going. I'm so tired David" she told him as she rubbed her brow "And I can't help worrying about the little things"
David looked at her with concern "What do you mean?" He asked her as he softly rubbed her back, trying to relieve at least some of her tension.
For a moment, she considered not telling him about her hair loss but she knew that soon she would no longer be able to hide it and just hoped that he would be able to come to terms with it. She kept quiet for a minute, trying to find the words to explain. However she then realised that she didn't need to be hesitant around David, he knew her just as well as she knew him.
"My hairs starting to fall out David" She remained in her thoughts a moment before continuing "I didn't think it would be so hard you know. It seems stupid but it's a lot tougher than I expected"
David shook his head "It's not stupid at all Carol" He reassured her as he rested his head on hers "It was never going to be easy"
"I just thought I'd be able to deal with it..." She admitted, she then looked at him seriously "I just don't want you to see me like that. To be honest I thought you'd be more shocked"
"Well I knew it was going to happen sometime" He then looked at her honestly "I did notice a little last night"
Carol frowned slightly, pausing in their conversation a minute in the disbelief that he hadn't mentioned it earlier when he had noticed. She worried that it changed the way he felt about her.
"Why are you only mentioning this now?" Carol said as her mind wandered off with worries "Has it put you off? Look David if you don't want to..."
David raised an eyebrow as she didn't allow him to get a word in, something she frequently did. He hushed her before she could carry on her frantic worrying any further "Carol, give me chance to talk darlin'," he smiled as he continued "I didn't mention it earlier because I never thought it mattered and do you really think a bit of hair is going to stop us being happy, we've waited to long to be together Carol"
She breathed a sigh of relief, if someone told her a year ago that she'd receive reassurance from David Wicks she would have laughed. Yet at this moment, his reassurance and support was the thing that assisted in her having the strength to carry on.
"Thank you" She told him as she cosied herself further into his arms "That's just what I needed to hear"
Their embrace was soon interrupted by the ringing of David's phone, Carol watched as he reached into his pocket; he gave a swallowed nervously as he quickly ended the call. She picked up on this and asked "Who was that?"
"Just a customer" he told her as she kissed her head "Come on let's go home"
"Shouldn't you still be working? Max isn't back yet" Carol asked, confused at his irrational behaviour.
"If you ask me he takes too much time off. He can't deny me a few hours off with my fiancée can he?" He smiled at her "I want to look after you"
She shook her head "I don't need looking after" she reminded him as she looked him in the eye "David, is everything okay?"
"Of course it is" he reassured her as he softly stroked her arm, only to be again interrupted by the ringing of his phone.
Before he had chance to cancel the call again Carol spoke "That might be important. Listen why don't use answer that and I'll see you back at the house in a bit" she suggested before she kissed him goodbye.
"See you in a minute" He told her before she exited the car lot. He sat down at his desk, tapping it nervously as he let the ringing of his phone drown out.
However it soon began to ring again and he sighed as he answered his phone "Leave me alone. No calls, no texts, nothing. Just back off" He spoke, clearly annoyed as he quickly cancelled the call.
He breathed out, trying to remain calm in his mess of a situation. He was naive in forgetting that his past always caught up with him somehow, especially at the most inconvenient of moments.
