I could not believe what I was just experiencing. I've never met my mom, I only knew dad and my older bother (Emile). But mom, I never knew. And now she was standing in front of me, talking to me, and probably unaware that she's talking to her son. So, when she said the name 'Django', I stood there dumbly and watched her stupidly. Then, after a silence conveniently short enough, I strangely said:
- ...Django?
- Yes - she replied. And then sighed. She looked away again and continued to speak: - But what I fear the most is what my children would think...
And there, I just had to interrupt her.
- Emile and Remy?
- Yes - she said, and apparently she was totally confused by this. - How do you know?
- How do you think I know? - I said, not even thinking for a second about whether what I said was right or not.
She looked at me, in confusion and pain at the same time, and I looked her straight in the eyes, trying to make her understand what I meant. And after really long fifteen seconds, she jumped back. I guess she understood, because next moment she said, in a voice of hope:
- Remy?
For my whole life, I've been trying to make those around me happy, but also to make things right. And this was most certainly no exception. I asked this woman, seriously, but with a little fear inside my legs:
- Are you my mom?
And despite the fact that it started to rain heavily, that one car got struck by a lightning, two people drowned, some others ran away from somewhere, and a boat broke down - despite all that, this Ella, apparently my mother, was looking at me carefully. At one moment she smiled. Next thing you know, she hugged me tightly. So then, it was all clear.
- Oh, Remy, my dear little Remy, how I missed you so much... how much you've grown... you're so pretty... How are you?
She was smiling and she seemed happy, but me - not at all.
- Good... great.
- And how is your brother?
- He's fine too... I guess...
I was somewhat devastated by the situation. I don't know why. It's just that... something didn't feel right. So I asked her something:
- Why did you leave? - I know I had heard the answer just minutes before it, but I just... I just felt the urge to ask. And much to my surprise, she didn't get pissed off for she had just told me that, but she answered again. But this time, the response was different.
- Your father didn't love me the way I am.
And there was silence afterwards. I didn't know what to say next, and as it seemed to me, neither did my mom. We now weren't looking each other in the eyes. The silence was really long. Not seemed, but really was long.
...
After some time, she decided to break the silence.
- And yet, have had two kids. Isn't it funny?
It wasn't funny at all. In fact, it was the most shocked and devastated and torn I have ever been in my life.
- But why don't you come back? - I asked her, and she said:
- Your father still wouldn't accept me. He doesn't like anything that's different. He just wants everything to be his way. I don't have the slightest intention of living with someone like that.
Another long silence.
- Oh... - I said, not knowing really what to say.
- I'm sorry, Remy - she said, and hugged me again and started to cry. - I'm really sorry.
And then she let go off me and went away.
And I never saw her again in my life.
To this day, I still wonder. I'm still confused by what happened that day. I'm a grown rat, with a job and everything, and only recently did I find out the truth about my mother. And it was disturbing. I'll never see her again. Should I tell someone about this? My chef? My dad? Brother? Anyone?! Better not. No one needs to know. Some things are better left untouched. This has also learnt me one more thing: to never take a day off again. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but even on the most ordinary day, things can happen. What kind of things? Just... things.
