Time for a little Gumball action! After all, it wouldn't quite be Adventure Time without Prince Gumball! My chapters aren't exactly in the episodes' chronological order, just in case anyone was wondering. Please review when you finish reading, I'd really like to hear what you think of it thus far :)
Chapter 3
Fiona whistled as she carried a purple tray, an exact replica of the Candy Kingdom made out of lint on it. Cake held onto the other end of the tray, humming to herself. They walked along the forest path to the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball had invited them to help set up for a science conference he was hosting. The pink trees looked like cotton candy, held aloft by white tree trunks. Fiona always liked how they looked. It sort of reminded her of Gumball's hair. Cake tilted the tray slightly as she reached to scratch an itch.
"Hey, careful!" Fiona shouted. "You'll wreck my present for Prince Gumball!"
"Sorry, baby." She glanced over her shoulder. "What is it anyway?"
"It's a scale model of the Candy Kingdom. I made it out of lint I found around the house."
"Soooo you wanna give him your lint?"
"Yeah." Fiona paused. "Wait, no! I mean, well…." She blushed.
Cake giggled. "It's okay, honey. I totally understand! I know what it's like wanting to get the attention of your man." She winked.
Her face turned a deeper shade of red. "He's not my man! Uhg! I just wanted to give him something to help him, uh…celebrate his science…thing." She laughed nervously.
"You mean his Super Science Barbeque?"
She could see the stage just up ahead. The barbeque was being held just outside the Candy Kingdom's walls. The huge white screen set up on the stage read Science is the Best! And just behind the stage, Bubblegum Mountain could be see, pink and white like the surrounding forest. Prince Gumball and some of his subjects were busy setting up chairs and picnic tables. Gumball opened the grill and was piling in charcoal.
"You think this is sciency enough for him?" Fiona asked quietly.
"Relax! He'll love it!" she said confidently. "And then he'll love you," she whispered.
"What?"
"Hey! There he is!" Cake hurried toward the stage, Fiona stumbling behind. As they got closer, Cake stopped her. "Hide it behind your back, girl."
Fiona hid the tray behind her. Prince Gumball was holding a small flame creature in his gloved hand. He fed it a piece of charcoal before setting it down in the grill. Instantly the creature's flame intensified.
"Prince Gumball!" Cake called.
He looked up from his work and smiled. He waved. "Oh, hey guys. I was just getting the grill going for tonight's B-B-Q," he said as he climbed off stage. He was wearing a plain pair of jeans and t-shirt. It looked much different than his normal royal pink-and-purple attire.
"Oh, that's cool," Fiona said. She tried to hide the tray behind her back better.
"What do you have behind your back, Fiona?" Gumball asked.
"Oh, I—I made you something."
"Really? Can I see it?"
"Sure! Close your eyes."
Gumball obediently closed them. "Alright."
"Get ready to open your eyes," she said teasingly.
Fiona pulled the tray out from behind her back and lifted it up in front of him. Suddenly Prince Gumball sneezed. The lint scattered instantly. The replica she had worked so hard to build had been destroyed in an instant.
"Can I open my eyes?" He asked anxiously, a smile on his face.
Fiona gasped. "No! Wait!" Panic welled up in her chest. Her mind was starting to go fuzzy. She stared at the empty tray in horror. What should she do?! "Wait! Just keep them closed for like three more hours!"
"I'm going to open my eyes now." Gumball opened his eyes and he gasped, eyes wide. "Oh, Fiona!" He gently took the tray from her hands. "It's purple! I love purple! Oh, thank you, Fiona."
Her face lit up, cheeks flushed with joy and embarrassment. Suddenly a little chocolate truffle girl came running up to the prince.
"Prince, Prince!" she cried.
Peppermint Maid came storming up behind her. "You better not say nothing, you."
Gumball sighed. "Yes, Chelsea?"
"Um, like I called dibs on being Grill Meister for the B-B-Q, but Pepper won't hand over the spatula!" She whined, reaching for the spatula in Peppermint Maid's hand.
Peppermint Maid jerked it out of reach with a frown. "Fine fine," she muttered. "You can have it!" Then she took off running. "When you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"
"Noooooo!" Chelsea shrieked, chasing after her.
"Hey," Gumball said, the thought just dawning on him. "If you two aren't watching the grill, then who's watching…?" he glanced up as he spoke. He gasped. Flames had completely engulfed the grill, the fire running rampant. "The grill!"
Fiona pulled out her sword and leaped onto the stage. She kicked over the grill, flaming bits of charcoal pouring onto the stage. She glanced over at the table beside it, stacks of steaks and burgers piled high. Fiona stabbed her sword into the pile of meat and slammed them onto the flames. A hiss and sizzle followed as she smothered the fire with raw meats.
"Fiona, that was amazing!" Gumball cried as he approached the charred stage and extinguished grill.
"Oh." She blushed. "Thanks, Gumball. I'm always happy to help."
"I see." Prince Gumball leaned closer. He gently touched her cheek before pulling out a Mayfield head clamp. He measured the size of her cranium. "Your heroic brain is fascinating in a scientific way. Many scientific minds are going to be speaking at my barbeque. You should talk about something too!" It seemed to Fiona that his eyes sparkled brightly as he spoke. "You'll do that for me, right?"
"Anything you want," she said breathlessly.
"Thanks, Fiona." The grunts and shouts of Chelsea and Peppermint Maid fighting over the spatula interrupted him. He sighed. "Listen, I have to deal with this. See you tonight?"
"Uh, yeah."
As Prince Gumball started to walk away, the panic set in. Fiona began to hyperventilate, her breathing coming in short gasps.
"Girl," Cake said slowly, resting her paw on Fiona's shoulder. "Relax. You just gotta give a stupid speech to a bunch of brainiacs. No big deal."
"I-I don't know…. I can't hang with those guys." Fiona played with her hair nervously. She averted her eyes. "I'm full of stupid. I'd just make Gumball look silly for asking me to talk about science and junk."
"Don't worry, it'll be fine. We'll just go to the place where knowledge lives." She winked.
"Oh yeah. Brain Town."
Cake frowned. "No! The library."
"The library of the undead," Fiona whispered in a spooky tone.
"No. Just the regular library."
"Rats…."
V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V*
The library felt dark and oppressive. Fiona never liked the library because she could never sit still long enough to finish a book. It was so quiet. Every little noise seemed amplified ten times the actual volume. A maze of bookshelves stretched deep into the library, spanning multiple floors. Turtle Prince had been nice enough to bring them to the Science section. He'd also picked out a few books for them to read. But nothing seemed to make sense. Eventually she gave up and trudged out of the library without learning anything that could help her. They headed back toward the Candy Kingdom. Fiona was feeling nervous about speaking in front of the science people, especially since she didn't have anything smart to say.
"Hey, girl," Cake said. "I've got an idea! Why don't we just solve this problem with magic?"
"I guess you've got a point." She grinned, feeling slightly more optimistic. "Let's go see Choose Goose in his magical shack!"
They raced through the forest to find Choose Goose. He was more or less a wandering salesman, so he was never in the same place twice. He sold magical items of all shapes and sizes. So if they were lucky, he'd have something just for their problem. Faintly Fiona heard the sound of his lute. She changed her course and headed straight for the sound. Soon enough, she spotted his little shack, Choose Goose lying across the counter top of his sales cart.
"Hey, Choose Goose!" she called. "You got any cool magic we could use?"
He looked up at the sound of their voices. "Magic, you say?" he said in his lofty voice.
Fiona nodded. "Yeah. I need some kind of mind enhancing magic."
"Ah, yes. The quest that you are on requires the Glasses of Nerdicon!" He pulled a box out from under the counter. He opened it to reveal a pair of square-framed glasses, the nose piece held together with a piece of tape.
"So…if I put those on, I'll be able to give that lecture and Prince Gumball will totally dig it." Fiona's eyes lit up. "What do you want for it, CG?"
Choose Goose draped his hand over his face dramatically and sighed. "Lately, I've been feeling drained," he said sadly. I only wish to be entertained."
Fiona thought a moment before an idea occurred to her. She pulled a marker out of her bag and drew a smiley face on her finger. She beat-boxed a little tune and moved her finger to the music. Choose Goose was an easily entertained guy. Soon he was laughing uncontrollably.
"Well done!" he cried. He picked up the glasses and handed them to her. "The glasses you have won."
Fiona put them on. Instantly, a spark surged through her brain. She gasped as a flood of knowledge flowed through her mind. Everything from everyday commonsense knowledge to metaphysics filled her mind. It was a lifetime of epiphanies all in a single moment. She grabbed Cake tightly, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Everything that's small is just a small version of something big! I understand everything!"
Cake patted her on the arm. "Whoa there. Calm down. Are you okay?"
"Oh, Cake, I'm better than okay. I know exactly how to impress the Prince!"
"More lint models?"
Fiona shook her head. "No, no. That lint was as fragile as my former perception of reality. But wait, maybe you're on to something! Something so simple…yes, of course! The simplicity! This could work!"
V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V* V*
By the time of the barbeque, Fiona was calmer than she had ever been in her life. Dozens of renowned scientists sat at the picnic tables, listening as a Marshmallow man with curly sideburns spoke on stage. When he finished his lecture, everyone clapped politely as Prince Gumball climbed onstage.
"Thanks again to Doctor Dextros for sharing that fascinating research on the culture of cuteness," Gumball said, shaking the Marshmallow man's hand.
Fiona clapped loudly. "Yes, yes. How charming!" She folded her hands in her lap and glanced at Cake. "What quaint nations."
Doctor Dextros glared at her and mumbled something angrily as he climbed offstage. Prince Gumball cleared his throat. "And now for a special guest lecture from one of Oo's greatest heroes." He nodded to Fiona. "Fiona the human!"
Fiona stood and approached the stage, wheeling a small table with her. Claps accompanied her as she climbed onstage with her display. She pulled off the cloth to reveal a bottle of bubble solution and a large metal funnel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, and Prince." She winked at Gumball. Fiona adjusted her glasses. "I'm here to talk about multi-dimensional bubbles! But I'm not just going to talk about blowing bubbles. I'm going to blow. Your. Minds." She picked up the metal funnel device. "This is a bubble blower of my own design. With this, I can blow bubbles in different dimensions."
She flipped the switch to the number 2 and dipped it into the solution. Fiona blew into the apparatus. A bubble slowly formed from the smaller end, but the bubble was completely flat. "This two-dimensional bubble casts a one-dimensional shadow." Oos and Aahs came from the crowd. She switched the number 3 on her device and blew another bubble. This one was a normal, round one. "A three-dimensional bubble casts a two-dimensional shadow." Finally she flipped the switch to the final number—4. The bubble that emerged from the end was shaped like a box, but it cast odd shadows in all directions. "A fourth-dimensional bubble casts a three-dimensional shadow! It's beyond compression! It's beyond time and space!"
The others clapped, but a look of shock crossed Prince Gumball's face. He stood up quickly. "Oh my! Fiona, that would mean you've created—"
"Yes!" she cried. "A black hole!"
The 4-D bubble began to implode upon itself. A high level of gravity swirled around it, so strong it started sucking everything toward it. Fiona laughed, lost in the craziness of her genius. Cake stretched one arm around the flagpole on the right side of the stage, and the other arm around the left side's flag pole. She expanded her body to shield everyone from the strength of the black hole's gravity. With her hind foot, Cake snatched Fiona off the stage and pulled her to safety.
"Fiona! Do something!" Gumball shouted urgently.
"Not to worry. I wrote the solution on this piece of paper." Fiona pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket. But as soon as it was free from her pocket, it was yanked from her hand, sucked toward the black hole. "Don't worry, I have everything under control."
"Under control?! My guests are terrified!"
Fiona grinned. "Yes! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, dopamine, even dimethyltryptamine from the Pineal Glands! This has serious educational value. It's causing a chemical reaction, giving us a euphoric ultimate awareness. Don't you see, Prince? WE WERE ALL BORN TO DIE!"
"You're trying to kill us all?!" he cried.
"No, of course not! I'm trying to give you the greatest conference EVER!"
"Fiona." He stared at her in horror, his voice wavering as if he would cry. "You've gone insane!"
"What? No way." She waved off his words. "I'm like the smartest person in Oo thanks to these glasses."
"Glasses?" The realization dawned on him. "Fiona, take them off. You're not yourself!"
"But…."
"Please," he begged. "I need the real you!"
He snatched the glasses and pulled them off her face. As soon as Prince Gumball had removed them, all of the knowledge was instantaneously sucked away. Every epiphany she'd had vanished without a trace. She shook her head, confused.
Fiona glanced around, shocked by all the fearful faces around her. "What's going on?!" She turned around. Her eyes widened at the sight of the four-dimensional bubble sucking in everything within reach.
"You blew it, Fiona! With this!" Gumball pulled out the multi-dimensional bubble blower she had invented in her fit of genius insanity.
"Then I'll kill it with this!" She pulled out her sword and leaped toward the black hole, Cake's leg still wrapped around her waist. She charged toward it. Something flying toward the wormhole hit the bubble blower out of Gumball's hand.
"Fiona, look out!" he shouted.
She turned just in time. Out of reflex, she stabbed the sword into the bubble blower's center, slicing it in half. But as her sword emerged, it cast odd shadows in every direction. She wasn't sure what it meant, but as long as she still had her sword, she could destroy the black hole. She looked at the odd bubble, then at her transformed sword.
"Fourth dimensional," she muttered. Fiona glanced back at Cake. "Cake, let me go!"
"Girl, are you crazy?!" she hissed. "Don't do anything stupid!"
"I can't help it!" Fiona unraveled Cake's leg from her body. "I'm all about stupid!" She let go and she was instantly sucked toward the black hole. Sword raised, she plunged it into the fourth-dimensional bubble and she disappeared.
"Fiona!" Cake and Gumball cried.
Suddenly the bubble exploded, expelling Fiona along with it. Cake caught her in midair and covered all the guests with her magic body. When the rain of debris ceased, she unstretched herself and shrunk down to her normal size. Prince Gumball fell to his knees and clutched Fiona's shirt. His hands were shaking, tears leaking from his eyes. He rested his forehead on her shoulder.
"Fiona…." He sniffled. "My science barbeque…was a fiasco." He started to sob.
Cheers erupted from the attendees. He looked up, surprised. Many of the scientists who had attended were clapping and cheering wildly. They shouted things like "Incredible!" and "That was the greatest conference ever!" A small piece of paper floated down with other bits of smaller debris. Gumball caught it and glanced at its contents.
"What's this?" It was a bulleted list. He read it aloud. "Make hyper bubble, create black hole, become insane, PG takes off glasses, save the day, win the heart of the prince?" He looked up at her. "Fiona, you knew all this would happen?"
"Huh? Knew what?" She shrugged. "I wrote that list when I was insane with smartness."
Gumball leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her cheek. Fiona's face flushed a deep red. She didn't think it would actually happen. But it did! He had kissed her! And she kind of liked it.
Chapter 4 will be up on Friday!
