The entirety of Darwin's workforce had noticed a difference in their flame headed leader. The bags under her eyes couldn't be hidden by even the most expensive makeup but it appeared she hadn't even made an effort to hide her weariness.

Her brash manner was something everyone had become accustomed to but instead of a public dressing down current mistakes were greeted by a sigh of irritation and a sharp word or two- nothing compared to her previous humiliation inducing displays.

Jonny Maconie sat at the chair behind the dated computer, his eyes following his colleague from his perch at the Nurses' Station.

"She doesn't seem right, you know?" He voiced his concern aloud to Mo, the occupant of the other chair.

This was greeted from a role of his friend's eyes. "You're prying!" She warned him in a melodical tone. "She's not going to like that."

"I'm being serious!" His voice raised an octave. "Something's up. Do you think I should say something?"

"I think you should stick your nose out of where it's not wanted before you end up facing frosty-knicker's wrath." Mo replied sagely. "You're playing with fire, Jonny Mac."

This elicited a sigh from the nurse. "You don't understand, it was like she'd completely forgotten she was supposed to be working! Since when does Jac Bloody Naylor forget about a chance to crack open someone's ribs?"

"I don't know!" She replied, exasperation seeping in to her voice. If she was brutally honest she was growing a little tired of her friend's clumsy attempts to analyse the situation. "Maybe she's got a cold?"

"Jac doesn't do ill." He dismissed her theory promptly. "I mean she sounded rough on the phone but it's got to be something more than that-"

His theorising was drawn short by the sight of the consultant striding over towards where they both sat. Mo swivelled around quickly, spectacularly bypassing subtlety as she pretended to stare towards the blank computer screen.

Jonny cleared his throat and fumbled to fill the awkward silence, left in the lurch by Mo's dramatics. "As I was saying, cheese and pickle does make a good sandwich-"

"Nurse Maconie, perhaps if you could focus on emptying bedpans instead of thinking about your stomach then this please would look a little less like a dump." Her voice cut sharply. "I'd also suggest you have a word with the plethora of blonde bimbos you're supposed to be leading, it seems grasping the concept of half hourly observations is above their skill set."

He ducked his head in a quick nod, half leaping to his feet. While he wasn't overly pleased with her tone he was aware he was faring a hell of a lot better than he would be if Jac had caught wind of what he'd been discussing. "Of course, Ms Naylor." He replied through gritted teeth, forcing a patient smile. "Anything else you'd like to add?"

A scathing look was aimed with precision in his direction before she turned silently and strode away.

The Scot's expression contorted in confusion as he watched the consultant turn on her heel, departing as if there was an urgent matter she'd only just remembered. "Was it something I said?" He looked towards his friend, his pitch shooting upwards in exasperation.

Maureen sighed, shrugging her shoulders loosely as she observed the hasty exit.

Conversations hushed as the doctor strode past in the way that had become accustomed. She was something to be wary of, that was common hospital knowledge. Jac Naylor didn't do friends.

By the time she'd reached her office a lump of unfamiliar emotion had caught in her throat, threatening to make her eyes prickle with the moisture which was in her nature to deny.

She allowed the door to swing shut heavily, feeling a momentary flicker of satisfaction as the wooden frame trembled, bouncing on its flimsy hinges.

The brief gratification was gone within seconds and the deep sitting unease returned in full force, egging her heart into a faster rhythm, a sheen of sweat creeping over her.

"Get a grip, Naylor." She muttered. God, now she was talking to herself. A nervous peal of hysteric laughter escaped her lips and she forced her eyelids tighter shut, shaking her head in disbelief. She took a deep breath, muscles she wasn't previously aware she'd been tensing, relaxing as she demanded control over her body.

And then he was there again. His soft voice somehow managed to block out everything else. She clenched her hands into her fists and kept her eyes closed with a cold determination. Once she opened them he would leave again.

"I brought a cup of coffee for you." A half smile replaced the harsh line on her face. "Don't be offended, it's just I believe you told me it was a surgeon's diesel. "

"Joe, you're a life saver." The words bubbled naturally to her lips and her features softened.

"Take care of yourself, Jac."

She frowned, not understanding his sudden seriousness. The atmosphere had changed. A sense of unease swept over her body.

Her eyes flew open. The office was empty.

Her heart fluttered nervously and she moved to the rarely used sofa, her body functioning on autopilot while her mind went into overdrive. She leant forwards, placing her head in her hands. Breath flooded sharply into her lungs- the rhythm picking up frantically. The tightness in her chest made her head spin, she was drowning.

She shook her head and forced a deep breath. This wasn't her. She didn't lose control like this. But he'd been with her just a moment ago- his words still echoed in her ears-

No! She growled to herself. He wasn't here, he was lying cold on some slab like a bloody idiot. Soon he'd be nothing more than a pile of ashes. There was no sugar coating that.

She was pulled violently from her thoughts by a sharp knock on the door.

"Busy!" She snapped, slowing her rapid breathing enough to get the words out.

Infuriatingly the door still opened and she darted to her feet, her eyes wide and panicked from being interrupted during a moment of weakness.

The Scottish nurse froze in the doorframe, an equal look of surprise on his face. He frowned and shut the door softly behind him. He took an unsure step towards her, gesturing to the steaming cup he'd fetched from the canteen.

"I got you this, thought you could do with it-" His voice trailed off as his eyes followed the consultant closely. "What's going on, Jac?"

Her eyes snapped to the coffee and her chest constricted uncomfortably. "Get out." She muttered.

"Hey, come on- !" He moved to walk forward, holding out the hot drink.

"I said get out!"

He closed his mouth and swayed backwards, standing with his back against the door. "Talk to me, Jac." He spoke with a soft insistence.

She rubbed her fingers together anxiously, meeting his request with a stoic silence.

"I can tell something's up." He pressed on, his stupid, caring eyes trapping her.

"Know when to give up." She spoke bitterly, her breathing hitching with emotion. She clenched her hands loathingly into fists. Her nails dug into her palms.

He frowned as he heard the emotion twist her voice. He tilted his head, briefly considering various scenarios which could've caused the Ice Queen to thaw. "It must be something big?"

"Leave it." What had supposed to be a demand left her mouth sounding like a plea.

"I can't." He replied softly. Apologetically. "Come on, Jac. Time to talk."

She eyed the exit he was blocking with desperation. He looked at her with the compassion which was supposedly required in their profession and offered the coffee to her once more.

Slowly she closed the gap between them and wrapped her fingers around the lukewarm cup.

He looked towards her with a silent understanding.

"He's dead, Jonny." She locked eyes with him. "How am I supposed to accept that?"


Happy Easter! I'm sorry for being so awful at updating, I hope this is okay. Please review! :)