A/N: Third chapter to be revised.
Chapter Start
To EER is human, to ARR is pirate!
-Anonymous
000
Location: S.S.V Oleg Petrovsky, deck 2. Conference room. (En-route to Pax system)
Although two days had passed since Shepard had stolen the prototype stealth frigate from the hands of the nefarious organization known as Cerberus, things have been anything but calm. What should have been their moment of glorious triumph, had rapidly deteriorated into a panicked frenzy of organized chaos as the band of seven toiled to keep their prize afloat. Making everything worse was the fact that their current tribulations weren't spawned by lack of skill, or error that could be readily mended, but rather their folly came from the unforgiving Mistress of mathematics.
It was a numbers game. Pure and simple. A ship of this size and complexity needed more hands on deck than Shepard presently had available. Even with all of them pulling double shifts, fourteen hands were simply not enough to cover all the bases.
"Amat Victoria Curam."
"Come again?" Wrex asked in a lazily droll. Exhaustion evident in his vocals rumbling bass.
"It's an old Latin saying." Shepard lackadaisically yawned as he massaged his bloodshot eyes. "Means Victory Loves Preparation, or more eloquently, Victory Favors Those Who Take Pains." sighing heavily, "Our current predicament has given me a greater understanding of these words."
"No one bears blame for this, Shepard."
"No Okeer, I'm to blame." Shepard crossed his arms and his left eyebrow twitched in annoyance, "As architect of this endeavor, the fault rests on my shoulders."
"It takes a quad for a leader to admit when he's wrong." Wrex consoled with a small chuckle, "If our species learned that eons ago, we wouldn't be where we are today."
"That's foolishly optimistic." Skarr huffed a singular chortle, "Violence, arrogance, and stubbornness come as naturally to us as breathing. We had tens of thousands of years to evolve, yet the same traits that plagued our ancestors are as plentiful as pyjaks among the youth."
"What can I say? Stupid is as stupid does, and our whelps are plenty stupid." Okeer snorted, "Why do you think I spend my years developing tank-bred's?"
"Cause you're a mad scientist." Wreav chuckled
"No fair, I was gonna say that." Charr protested with a whine.
"I'd say you're less scientist, and more mad." Wrex boomed with a laugh.
"Laugh it up whelps. When I prefect my process, you'll all bow before my superiority."
"More like roll over in laughter." Skarr toothily smirked.
"For that pyjak, you die first."
With the conversation feigning on the boarder of surreal, Shepard wondered if he had entered the twilight zone. "Anyway, what's done is done." getting everyone back on topic, "Okeer, I believe you had the floor."
"Yeah, hold on." the yellow eyed, brown plated Krogan grumbled as he scanned his pad for where they had left off.
"Going senile in your old age?" Skarr teased.
"Older than you, yet still better looking." Okeer retorted as he found his place and read, "Good news is, the Illusive Man spared no expense constructing the SR-2. The hull is fitted with Asari-made Silaris armor, our shields utilize Salarian-made Cyclonic Barrier Technology, our drive core is double the standard size of other frigates, and our armaments are second to none. I don't even know what a Thanix Magnetic-Hydrodynamic Weapon is... But we got it."
"Thanix..." Wrex mulled the word over on his tongue, "Sounds Turian."
"What's the bad news?" asked Shepard.
"In short, the SR-2 is so advanced that she'll need an equally specialized crew to match. We can't just dredge Omega's gutters and hobble together a crew from what we find." Okeer crossed his arms, "We need professionals. Flushing out our ranks is gonna be a bitch."
"We could always kidnap those we need and press gang 'em into service. Blood pack does it all the time." offered Wreav.
"Let's see where we get with the usual channels first. But I'll keep that option in my back pocket if we need it." Shepard massaged his brow, "Skarr, do you have anything to add?"
"Only that I've pulled the QEC atom chip from the transmission ring." he slid the flash drive sized rectangle across the desk. "Should eliminate the Illusive Man's ability to remotely monitor us. But the surveillance devices embedded throughout the ship will have to remain."
"Just pull 'em." stated Wrex.
"Embedded means they're tied directly into the ships systems, old man. To pull 'em, I'd literally need to tear the entire ship down to its skeletal frame."
John turned over the silver data-disk in his hand and examined the blue, ethereal glow emanating from the quantumly locked atom. "Was this the only one?"
Skarr nodded. "Oh, you might find this interesting." pulling up the SR-2's QEC schematic on his omni-tool. "You know how a standard QEC only has five slots for communication disks?... Ours has a hundred."
"Damn it." Shepard slammed his fist against the table. "God damn it. God fucking damn it."
"This is bad how?"
"If they built this ship to hold a hundred disks, Wreav. It means theirs at least ninety-eight Cerberus facilities out there I, and by extension the Alliance, have absolutely no knowledge of."
"Just because theirs a hundred slots, doesn't mean there's a hundred bases." Okeer offered up his two cents. It was sound logic, but John didn't think he could be that lucky.
"Lets assume for the moment there aren't that many bases; that this is all the Illusive Man's wishful foreword thinking. It still means he's planning to have a hundred bases one day. Which doesn't bode well for anyone... On the bright-side though this does confirm my undercover's intel."
"That being?" asked Charr.
"That Cerberus intended this vessel to be the command and control ship of their entire naval fleet." Shepard wanted to feel happy about this, but he was just so damn tired. "At any rate, by taking it we've dealt TIM a crippling blow."
"TIM?" inquired Wreav with a curious tilt of his head, "What's that?"
"Sorry, I'm tired of saying the Illusive Man. So I'm abbreviating it to TIM." taking a sip from his glass of water, "How's the A.I. core coming along? How soon can it be operational?"
"The EDI's blue box is waiting to be brought up from the hangar and installed." Skarr rather calmly replied, "What it'll do once plugged in is anyone's guess. But to reprogram it you'll need either someone who built it, or someone who has extensive knowledge of A.I.'s."
"Sounds like tracking down the Migrant fleet is in our future."
"Sure Shepard," Wrex laughed, "just assume the suit rats won't steal the shiny new ship."
Rolling his eyes, "Hows our cash flow and supplies looking?"
Okeer snorted, "Back at Minuteman, I was able to hack Cerberus financial records and transfer 250,000 credits to the ships bank."
"We have a bank?" Shepard deadpanned, "Why is this the first I'm hearing of it?"
"Oops," Okeer sheepishly chuckled, "must have slipped my mind. As for fuel we're fine, and we have enough food and water to last us three months."
"Good... If no-one has anything else to add, then you can all get back to work."
"Captain." Each of the Krogan replied with a respectfully nod of the head, and left. After they were gone, John slammed his head against the table and yawned. He stayed like that for a few minutes. He was so tired that the wood was starting to feel like the pillow in his cabin. Remembering he had work to do he groaned in annoyance.
Activating his omni-tool, "Vega. That shuttle in the hanger running?"
"Si amigo, her engine purrs like a happy kitten."
"Great, I'm gonna need it. I'll be down in a sec to relieve you."
"Much obliged Captain... Feel's weird calling you that."
"I'm aware."
000
Location: S.S.V Oleg Petrovsky, deck 5. Brig.
Entering the brig, Shepard let out another long yawn as he glanced at his prisoners. He could see in a few of their eyes that the look of shock had been replaced with a mixture of fear and defeat. They would be easy to turn, all he'd have to do is wait for the appropriate time to throw a lifeline. However the room reeked with the unmistakable stench of the gutter. A foul odor that all monsters recognized, privy only to those who'd corrupted their souls with bloodshed and forsaken living in the light. A stench that no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much you scrubbed, you could never wash it off. Souls tend to be permanent like that, and twelve of Shepard's twenty-one prisoners were rotten to the fucking core.
"Anything interesting happen?"
"Nothing much, Loco." Vega replied as he got up from his seat, "Been pretty quiet. They don't talk much." slinging his rifle, he scratched the back of his head and yawned. "I'll send one of the tortugas down in few hours to relieve you."
Shepard nodded and gestured to the door with a toss of his head, "Go get some rack time, James. You look like you could use it."
"Have you looked in a mirror?"
Shepard softly chuckled and clasped the muscular N7 on his broad shoulder, "See you at dinner."
"Later, Loco."
As the muscled Mexican took his leave, John sidestepped past him and walked over to the small jailers desk. Replacing Vega's ass print in the seat with his own, he adjusted the his sabers scabbard, and kicked up his feet. With a sigh, Shepard activated his his omni-tool and started up a game of Tetris. For the next few hours, Shepard tried to beat his previous high score, but decided to call it quits when he looked away and still saw falling blocks. Massaging his weary eyes, an idea popped into his head.
"I don't suppose anyone feels like earning their freedom?" silence was the prisoners response. "Hot showers, warm bed, fresh clothes, good food... All that can be yours. All you gotta do is renounce your ties to Cerberus and join my crew. Any takers?... How about you, Miranda?"
Silence...
"Miranda."
Silence...
"Miranda."
Silence...
John took a deep breath, "MIRANDAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"WHAAAAAT!?" the Aussie yelled back, finally silence his scream.
"Oh it's nothing really. Just wondering if you've given any more thought to my offer? You remember don't you. You were on my bed, you were naked, I was above you." John bit his tongue as he saw a few of her companions bore hostile eyes into her. He knew they were wondering what he was talking about, wondering what he had offered her, wondering if she would betrayed them. It was delicious.
"You're repugnant!" Miranda hotly replied with embarrassment. Taking note of her companions looks she quickly stated, "Nothing happened!"
"Keep telling yourself that, but you know it isn't true." glancing to the girl kissed by fire, "How bout you Kelly?" from the brigs video logs, Shepard knew Kelly was the moral center of the group. When she broke, it would be a good yard stick for the others. "Interested in joining up?"
"No." came back her mouse like squeak.
"You sure?"
"Very." her resistance was utterly adorable.
"Your funeral... And mind you I do mean that quite literally. As some of you might have guessed; we're heading to the Citadel... You know what that means don't you?" John asked rhetorically as he mimed getting hung, "Getting in bed with Cerberus, bad idea; very bad idea."
"Shut up Shepard!" Miranda glared at him, fire in her eyes. "Stop wasting our time with pointless talk. None of us are going to turn our backs on Cerberus."
"One of you already has." John smiled as he watched all the subtle emotions on their faces. "How else do you think my men so easily and thoroughly beat you?"
"You're lying." Kaidan raised his voice.
"I can prove it if you like?... Or maybe you'd all like to guess who the rat is?" John had a wry smile on his lips as he slapped his knee, "Time for a little field trip." opening the comm, he asked Wreav to come watch over them. Moments later the door open and the surly tank entered. "Now say goodbye to your friends, care-bear. You're coming with me."
"I don't wanna."
"Does it sound like I'm giving you a choice?" Shepard deadpanned. Turning to the Krogan, "You gonna be okay holding down the fort, Wreav?" he took the predatory growl to mean yes. Guiding her to the ships elevator, they entered, and he hit the button for deck one. He saw the look of worry splash across her face, "Don't worry Kelly, nothing bad's going to happen to you. We're just going to my cabin so you can use my private shower."
"Your shower..." now it was Kelly's turn to deadpan
"Yeah," John scratched the back of his head. "I don't know how to say this Kelly, but, um... You stink."
Sniffing herself, Kelly noticed she was smelling pretty ripe. "Um, thanks I guess." she mumbled, unsure how to react to this sudden small act of kindness.
000
Location: S.S.V Oleg Petrovsky, Captain's cabin.
"Seeing as I don't know if I can trust you yet, I'm afraid I'm going to have to watch you shower." John tried to keep control of the glee in his voice, but Kelly was a beautiful girl, and it was very difficult. "I hope that's alright with you."
Kelly narrowed her eyes, but decided to roll with it and keep the atmosphere light. She was a people please-er after all, "Fine. But if I'm naked, you're damn sure gonna be naked too... Deal?" she offered out her slender hand.
"I like your style Ms. Chambers." John said with a smile as he shook the offered appendage.
"Let me ask you something." Turning around to face him she continued to scrub the grime from her pale skin, "You do know that not everyone in Cerberus is evil right? Or hates Aliens, I sure as heck don't. Most of us are just hard working, honest individuals, who are tired of watching the Alliance get bogged down in galactic politics while our colonies suffer."
"Hmm, a nice sentiment..." His voiced filled with sarcasm, "Except it's all bullshit doctor. Don't delude yourself into drinking the Cerberus kool-aid. I've seen what they're really all about first hand." Memories of large, alien filled mass graves flash through Johnathan's mind. The mutilated dismembered and disembodied remains of innocent women and children adds fuel to the fires of his anger. "Sure, there may be some good apples mixed with the bad as you so claim. But the disease infected roots of Cerberus can, and only will, produce vile rotten fruit. Fruit, that will undoubtedly taint and stain the souls of all those who consume it... So don't try to persuade me they're all sunshine and rainbows. If you wanted to make a real difference you would have joined the Alliance."
"Says the man who's defecting." Kelly couldn't help but take a pop shot at the man who imprisoned her.
Clamping down on his rage, "Let me make one thing clear Doctor, I didn't leave the Alliance... The Alliance left me." The heavy air of the conversation spoiled his view. "Finish up. We don't have much time."
"Why!?" nervousness filled Kelly's voice as her eyes flashed trepidation. It was easy to understand how someone in her position could think the worst. Especially when her capture is seething malicious glowing blue energy.
Fuck, I'm getting too emotional. Shepard sighed as he reigned in his flaring biotics and calmed down. "Christ, you gotta relax. You'll live longer." Shit! Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words... He thought as watched Kelly get dressed in baggy white Cerberus sweats. "I mean, huhhh... It's just that we'll be on the Citadel soon and I got some choices that need to be made."
"Ohh." Hope and relaxation rushed into her like water. Maybe she and her companions were closer to freedom than they realized. Reinvigorated, Kelly rather confidently strode into the mess hall and sat at the table she was directed to near the stove.
"Now, do you have any allergies I should know about?" Shepard asked as he felt the last lingering traces of anger leave his body. Replacing the hate with a mask of friendliness, he pulled out the cooking supplies he needed.
"Umm, just shellfish and peanuts... Are you actually making a meal for me?"
"Of course." He replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I figured while we eat you and I could get to know one-another. See if your Cerberus insanity can be cured... Aaand," Johnathan said in a sing song way while he filled a large pot with water, "it lets me show you some of the perks that come with joining my crew. You like Italian's right?"
"Love it. But what makes you so confident I'll join you? Or that I wont feign compliance just so I can retake the ship?"
"I know that you won't take back the ship because: A) You don't have the technical know how, B) The combat proficiency to rival my veteran crew, and C) You're a lover Kelly, not a fighter." Shepard said as he handed her a glass of wine, "As for why you'll join my crew is quite simple Kelly. Only I can quench that thirst that's been developing in you ever since you joined Cerberus.
Sipping the offered red wine, "Pretty lofty statement right there mister." Kelly's chuckled as her green eyes fluttered closed, savoring the smooth, sweet tasting nectar. Sighing contently, "Pray tell, what thirst might you be referring too?"
Taking a sip from his own wine, "I've done my due diligence on you Dr. Chambers." Johnathan said smoothly. "In the eight years prior to your joining Cerberus you spent four on Thessia attending Armali University. Where you majored in Psychology and minored in Inter-Species relations." Turning off the water spout he removed the hose from the half filled 3' tall 2' diameter kettle and set the conduction stove surface to boil. "Then for your dissertation, instead of pursuing one of the more prestigious understudy offers, you instead chose to volunteer at a little known women's shelter on Eden Prime that specialized in the treatment of recovered sex slaves." Biotically lifting ten pounds of ground beef from the fridge and transferring it in front of him, "Even after completing your doctorate you chose to stay at the shelter where you remained until till two years ago. Roughly, I'm guessing this is when the Illusive Man got his claws in you. Correct me Kelly if any of this is incorrect."
"It's not." Chambers said between sips of wine.
"It didn't happen all at once mind you, probably took a few months of convincing. " Tenderizing the meat with a mallet. "He probably had agents come to you after a particularly stressful day, offering financing, friendship, help. Heck, he even probably delivered on a few promises. Then after a while he starts selling you on all the organizations merits to humanity, telling you exactly what you want to hear."
"Sounds like you've been scouted yourself."
"Naw," Shepard shrugged his shoulders, "just come across my fair share of agents over the years, stories are all quite similar." he decided to save the time he had a Matriarch forcibly rip apart the layers of an agents mind for intel for later. "I'll give the Illusive Man this much. He certainly has quite the silver tongue." Almost more so than me. "Let me ask you something Doctor, what have you done since joining Cerberus? I mean what's your work been like."
Seeing no harm in disclosing information he probably already knew. "After being assigned to Miranda's cell I spent my days as a counselor. Interacting with the crew, sending status reports to the Illusive Man on the various projects aboard the base you attacked. Running interference between fighting crewmen when problems arose."
"Sounds boring." Johnathan stated as he broke off chunks of meat and formed them into balls. "Don't get me wrong, it just doesn't sound very fulfilling compared to what you used to do."
"It wasn't." Kelly honestly sighed before she could stop herself. The mixing pleasantness of wine warming her belly, fogging her mind, and the truth Shepard was laying down was reeking havoc with her mind. In the moment it was hard to remember why she'd even joined Cerberus. On Eden Prime her work mattered, she mattered. Every day she and her colleagues were helping those who'd been brutalized beyond imagination recover bits of their souls. It was rewarding beyond words to see the spark of life come back to the eyes of someone who'd given up hope. On the base the most she ever did could be equated to being a kindergarten teacher.
"Don't feel so bad," he gave her a small reassuring smile, "I felt the same way when I was taken off active duty to train N7's. It felt like it was beneath me. Like you, I was meant to be in the field, not stuck behind a desk correlating reports." Like a predator stalking his prey, Shepard knew he was close to having her. Seeing her nod a few times the look in her eyes told him she was questioning where her loyalties lied. Opening his Omni-tool, "Yo guys, you want your meatballs spicy? Sweet? Or what?"
"Mild is fine human." Wrex grumbled, "Last time I ate your Earth spices it gave me the shits for weeks."
"That's a disturbing image." Kelly whispered and John chuckled.
"Mild it is then," Closing his Omni he turned his attention back to forming the meat balls. "You can join me if you want Doctor, got a lot to make to feed a pack of hungry Krogan."
Jumping at the chance to actually do something, Kelly took a final sip of wine and moved to stand next to him. "What do I do? I've never really cooked anything that didn't come out of a box."
"It's easy." Shepard said as he lifted half the meat and placed it in front of the redhead. "Just break off a palm sized chunk and use your hands to mold it into a ball." Showing her what to do he placed the example off to the side. "They don't have to be perfect spheres mind you, they just have to look... Ball-y."
"Ball-y?" Kelly chuckled.
"Yup... Ball-y."
Doing as instructed Kelly began her first venture into home cooking. After a few minutes of meat squishing silence, "So, how did find time to learn how to do all this? From what I see in the press the Alliance keeps you pretty busy."
Retrieving a bowl to mix the seasonings he was going to paint the balls in. "Necessity... Got real tired of the usual tasteless grub the military mess's serve. Also I had a lot of time while on deployments with nothing to do. It gets pretty boring out here some times."
"Johnathan Shepard." Kelly hummed pleasantly as she felt the warm tingle of wine flow through her, "Does this mean the Lion of Elysium has a cook book stashed away somewhere? I bet you could make a mountain of credits if you published it."
Mixing the various spices into the bowl he added a bit of olive oil and took a small sample with a tablespoon and put it to his lips. Tasting it, he licked his lips a few times and bobbed his head indecisively back and fourth. "Needs some salt." John muttered as he added a pinch and stirred. "Here, tell me what you think." With a smile he held the spoon out for Kelly to taste.
"That... that tastes amazing. What's in it?"
"Little bit of this, little bit of that." John said nonchalantly as be began brushing the mixture onto the prepared meat balls. Looking at the covered pot behind him he could see steam staring to rise. It wouldn't be long before it was time to add the noodles. Getting out a frying pan he turned around and began cooking the raw meatballs. They sizzled and released a delicious aroma as they began to cook. "Shouldn't be long now."
"How long till everything's done?" Kelly asked as she finished her half of the meat and moved onto Shepard's still unfinished half. "Kinda looks like your crew need a galley officer."
"At least two more hours, and believe me I need a whole lot more than a mess chief kelly, a Yeoman for starters." Shepard chuckled and gently bumped her hips with his own, "After that I need at least another two pilots, a chief medical officer, a chief engineer and their staff, a gun captain, a quarter master, System techs, an XO, and that's just covering the basics. After them I need a ground combat team."
"I see, I didn't know running a ship of this size took so many people." Kelly mused as she noticed the atmosphere shift. It couldn't hurt to ask could it? It's not like I'm saying yes to joining or anything. "About that Yeoman's position?"
Inwardly smiling like a devil. "If you want it Kelly it's your's." Shepard said as he turned over the current frying balls, "I mean you're more than qualified."
"What would the duties be?"
"Besides the regular ship ones, I need someone who will interface with the colorful crew I'm gathering and keep me apprised of any misgivings or resentment." Sighing, "I could go on for hours about what I need Kelly, but the short list is someone who is very adaptable."
"Interesting, and will your crew be predominately human?"
John knew he had her, "Not all human, maybe half. The diversity is something that would keep even the most talented counselor on her toes."
"What type of missions would you be going on?" Kelly asked as she brushed the delicious mixture onto meatballs needing to be cooked.
"Predominately will be doing whatever keeps us paid. But their will be tons of pirate/slave hunting, rescuing their cargo and transporting them to the nearest colony." John could see Kelly's eyes light up at the prospect, "It's worth noting that Omega's gonna be a routine fixture of our lives."
"Yumm." Okeer hummed as he entered and sniffed the air, "Something smells good." Striding over he looked in the pot. "More human cooking?"
"Yup, figured you all were tired of ration packs. Theirs an old notion that a good meal has a way of revitalizing one's waning spirit."
"A hearty meal does have a way of putting fire into ones step." Okeer said as he picked a cooking meatball from the pan and tossed it into his mouth. "Mmmm, that's good." Pointing a fat gloved talon at Kelly, "I see you're claiming this female as your's Shepard. From what I know of your humans sexual tastes I thought you would have gone for the dark haired, top heavy one. Anyway I hope this ones womb is fertile and bears you many powerful sons."
"What!?" Both John and Kelly deadpan in unison. Only the sounds of the bubbling kettle could be heard.
"Ohh," Okeer smiled, "I guess human mating customs are different than from Krogan. My mistake." Going to the wine bottle on the table and taking a generous swig, practically inhaling the rest of the contents. "On Tuchunka, if a male prepares a meal for a female he's signaling to the clan his intention to breed her. If the female accepts the offered food and the clan leader agree's to the pairing, a private bed chamber is constructed for them to use until the female is pregnant."
"How long does that last for?" Kelly asked, oddly intrigued.
Donning an aura of medical professionalism uncharacteristic of Krogan, Dr. Okeer began explaining in vigorously vivid detail the birds and the bees of Krogan mating to Dr. Chambers and himself. All the while John didn't know what to say, what could he say? He was caught totally unprepared for the wealth of disturbing information that was forcibly raping his ears, searing mental images into his brain. One minute he was luring Kelly to his crew and the next he was learning how female Krogan use muscles in their reproductive track to literally suck their mates seed out of them. At least it looks like Kelly's enjoying this. Shepard mused as he tried to block out the image of how much jizzm the four balled species possessed.
Three Hours Later...
"So this will be where you'll sleep tonight Ms. Chambers and contemplate my offer." John kindly said as he carefully moved a very drunk Kelly into the Crew sleeping pods. "Of course you'll be locked in so you cant escape."
"Hmm,hmm,hmm," Kelly giggly slurred as she plopped down onto a rack, "Is the great Lion going to tie me up so I can't escape?" Her wrists moved behind her head to the bed frame, and she pushed her chest out in just the right way. "Ohh dear, I hope he doesn't decide to have his way with me." She shook her hips a bit.
Rolling his eyes slightly John noted it may not have been a good idea to "persuade" Kelly into finishing off the second bottle of wine with him. If he wasn't on a tight schedule he would have most likely taken here up on her "advances".
"Sorry. Not tonight. But if you join my crew I promise you all the raunchy fun you can handle." As soon as Kelly's head hit the pillow she instantly fell asleep. Well that didn't take long... I guess a few sleep deprived days on a metal deck makes you really miss the comforts of a proper pod. "Christ." John muttered and opened up the comms. "Hey Vega, monitor Kelly's vitals to make sure she doesn't throw up in her sleep and choke to death."
"That sounds depressing." James replied, "But no problem. Our new Yeoman shouldn't be that much of a hassle."
Walking out of the crew quarters and locking it, "She hasn't accepted the job yet Vega."
"She's accepting it Amigo. I can see it in her eyes brother."
"That may be but it could be a ploy to release her friends... Ohh and if she comes on to you when you check her, I'll leave it to your judgement how to proceed. Fuck her and leave her, or don't, it's up to you. Just remember her advances are probably a honey trap to catch you off guard... And I don't think Wrex or the others would lose much sleep over pumping the both of you full of holes if she takes ya hostage."
"Will keep my fly zipped tight, Loco."
"Good, If you need me I'll be in my cabin."
Meanwhile In The Brig...
"I don't like this." Miranda sighed, "Kelly's been gone too long."
"She's a smart girl Miranda," Watson comforted, "I'm sure she can handle anything Shepard throws at here."
"I know..." The raven haired beauty pleaded, "It's just that with Shepard you never know which side of crazy town he wakes up on."
"Miranda?" Kenneth Donnelly asked in his thick Scottish accent, "Cerberus is gonna come find us right? They're not just gonna abandon us... Right?"
"Of course they wouldn't!" Miranda said louder than she meant to. Leaning close to whisper into the mans ear. "The Illusive Man always has a way to track his ships. This ones no different. In a few days our fellow operatives are gonna know where we are and mount a rescue." Although Miranda put on a strong front for the sake of her friends, Lawson knew that in the grand scheme of things, space was very very big, while they were very very small.
They're coming for us, they just have too. TIM wouldn't let a 50 billion credit investment such as this just slip away. Without revenge.
"Kenneth." Gabriella Daniels nervously squeaked as she shuffled close to her long time best guy friend.
"Ya Gabby?"
"You don't think Shepard was telling the truth about us having a traitor in our mists, do you?"
"Put it for frm yer mind Lass... He's just tryin to rattle us. I promise you, theirs no traitor."
"YeEeSsSs ThEiR IiIiSsS!" A high pitched, flamboyant, overly dramatic, voice of Shepard sang out over the intercom. "Ahem, sorry bout that. But you know I'm sOoOoO ChAnGeAbLe!" tone returning to normal, "By the way, don't think for one second that I haven't been watching, recording, and listening to everything you say or do. Isn't it fun knowing big brothers always watching? It's so deliciously fascist."
000
On Route To The Citadel...
Closing the link comm link to the Brig's speakers Shepard smugly chuckled at his bit of theatrics while he walked to the desk in his Captain's cabin. Captain, hard to imagine he obtained in one mission what many spent their careers trying to achieve. Heck, he himself dedicated fifteen years of service to the Alliance in pursuit of a command. But was always denied because of so called "reasons". Oh after Elysium everyone wanted to be his friend; politicians, Admirals, corporate CEO's. He was on the fast track to bigger and better things. Its funny how people shake your hand one minute, calling you friend, only to stab you in the back the next. But as Johnathan reclined in his desk chair and spun out a few circles he knew that part of his life was over, and a new one was just beginning.
Casting a weathered eye at the nearly wall sized empty fish-tank, Shepard realized two things. One: Whoever decided to put a fish tank in a space ship is retarded. Sure, I guess everyone loves aquariums and fish are pretty to look at. But its hardly practical to have one in space where resources are finite and space is me something useful or cool like a giant flat screen, make this place a man cave. And two: Much like the barren swirling waters, his ship was equally devoid of activity and life. Can't call myself a Captain if I don't have a crew. Dr. Chambers is all but mine but I need more.
With this thought in mind he opened up a new terminal window and began typing out a rough draft of a job ad he'd post on the citadel extranet server. thirty minutes later after coordinating with Okeer and Skarr for impute on the special technical skills needed he was finished. It wasn't the finest piece of literature Shepard had ever created ,but it would get the job done. The trickiest part was the wording as you couldn't exactly advertise freely. Opening a comm line to the bridge, "Charr, whats our ETA?"
"We should be through the Widow relays in... 20 minutes Captain."
"Good, I'll take the shuttle once we re-enter normal space and hopefully find some new crewmen."
"What about us?"
Changing into civilian colonist clothing, "Just keep the SR2 in stealth mode 5 light minutes (55,884,719.1 Miles) outside the Widow relays. If you see anyone coming that's not me, turn tail and run . We'll regroup at rally point Bravo."
"Copy. How long you expecting to be gone."
Tying his shoes, "Uhhh," Shepard drawled open mouthed as he thought, "Maybe a few hours. Don't think it'll be longer than three though... While I'm there is there anything in particular you guys want me to pick up?"
Unanimously he heard five Krogan voices boom, "RYNCOL!"
"Are we at least getting some females? If you haven't noticed it's becoming, I think the human term is 'sausage fest'. Up here." Wrex added.
"I'll try." John rolled his eyes as he scrolled through his list of fabricated Alias's for one that wasn't already used. Cerberus may be incompetent at times, but they weren't stupid. Plus, it would arouse suspicion with the Alliance brass if someone who is still supposed to be on a mission 30,000 light years away suddenly popped up on the Citadel. "But I got more important things on my mind than finding a warm whole for you to spill your seed Wrex. Like, I don't know, building a crew, eluding Cerberus, not getting hung for treason by the Alliance."
"Couldn't hurt to ask... Just saying."
Doing the final clasps on his brown leather jacket Shepard headed to the cargo bay and entered the repainted Cerberus shuttle craft. "Believe me, getting some warm bodies to share our beds is the first thing I'm gonna do when the dust settles." Going through the Kodiak's pre flight checklist he kept an eye on the countdown timer till reemergence, he had five minutes left. Starting the engines and releasing the magnetic docking clamps Shepard maneuvered the shuttle for departure. "besides booze, anything we actually need?"
"Couldn't hurt to get some more arms and ammunition." Wreave replied, "We don't have anything other than the few shotguns and rifles we brought with us. Not exactly a bustling stockpile if you catch my drift. "
"Why do you think I love bladed weapons. Unlimited ammo."
"Assuming you don't get your arms blown off human." Skarr darkly jested, "And I remember those mono-molecular blades didn't much help those Phantoms."
"Yeah, but that's cause you could smell em coming." John said as the clock reached zero and the cargo door opened. Ramming home the Kodiak's throttle Shepard watched as the interior changed from white metallic bulkheads to the purples, blues, and pinks of the serpent nebula that shrouded the Citadel space station. In the rear camera he saw the SR2 break vertically and haul ass back to the safety of dark space.
As he approached the Citadel, a Hanar asked through the wireless ever so politely, "Inbound shuttle, this one humbly requests transmission of your personal identification codes and state your reason for visitation."
"Richard Steel, here for relaxation to recharge my batteries. " Shepard stated as he transmitted the necessary forged documents. "Hope that won't be a problem."
"Many thanks, this one hopes you enjoy your stay." The Hanar replied. A few moments later Shepard received clearance and approach vectors for shuttle craft parking. Letting the auto pilot take over John accessed the Citadel's extranet server and posted the add. Hopefully someone bites. He mused as he watched the five arms of the Citadels wards fill his field of view. Now who should I contact first? Karen, or Joker? Deciding it best to get Joker on board first heopened a new Omni text window.
CS: Joker, where the fuck you at?
Moments later the new message indicator beeped.
Joker: Fuck you too buddy. Long time no see, I'm at Chora's Den.
(Chuckling.) CS: You gonna be their for a while?
Joker: Got credits to burn, an Asari stripper on my table, and 4 days before I have to be on Illium. What do you think?
CS: You're gonna break a bone.
Joker: So many ways to spin that last phrase.
CS: You still working that god awful freight shipping service?
Joker: Yup. Only company that'd still let me get behind the helm.
(Smirking) CS: How'd you like to fly combat ops again?
Joker: Fuck yeah! So Anderson finally give you a command huh. About time.
CS: Not exactly... Gotta keep things hush hush. I tell you more in person. I'm docking at the Citadel now. See you in a bit.
Joker: Can't wait. I'll take it you'll buy the next round.
CS: I always do.
Closing the text window Shepard exited his parked shuttle and blended into the inter-species crowd as he made his way to the rental taxi service. Calling up a taxi he entered his destination into the computer and watched out the window as the ground sped away and he joined the bustling sky traffic of the inter species metropolis. Opening up a new window he thought about what to say, then began to type.
CS: Karin... I'm on the Citadel for the next few hours and wondering if you got some free time? I know we haven't seen each other in a while and hope we could sit down and catch up.
John rhythmically tapped his fingers against the window as he waited for a reply. A minute later as he watched the foot traffic below he felt felt his Omni tool ping.
Karin: Johnathan, in my line of work not seeing you very often is a very, very, good thing. But I'm glad this is a social call, I have my lunch hour coming up and would be glad to meet up. Oh! Got to go, C-Sec just brought a Batarian in with two detached eyes. I'll message you where to meet me later. See you then.
Smiling, John felt the skycar come to a stop. Opening the door and exiting he made his way to Chora's Den.
000
Zakera Ward...
"Hey Tali, check out this job add." there was noticeable enthusiasm in Zeto'Seya nar Iktomi's voice as he read his omni-tool's screen. "Room and board provided. Salary negotiable. Experience managing class III drive cores required; knowledge of V.I.'s a plus. Multiple positions available. All species welcome!"
"Yeah, like they mean it when they say, "All species welcome."" Tali'Zorah nar Rayya glibly replied as she searched through a dumpster, "You and I both know they don't mean people like us."
"It couldn't hurt to check it out. Maybe this is just the break we've been searching for."
"You're unbearably naive."
"It's called having a sunny disposition. You should try it out." replied Zeto. Seeing something on the add that caught his eye, "Odd, it looks like a limited time offer... All those interested should gather a weeks worth of belongings and report to docking bay 94."
"How limited time is limited time?"
"Says it's only open for the next four hours."
"Isn't 94 for shuttle-craft?"
"So?"
"So the poster is probably a slaver trader looking for new stock." Tali derisively huffed while bent over inside a dumpster, "Their ship must be flagged by C-SEC, so they use a shuttle to stay below the radar- Come here you little bosh'tet!" she squeaked with fiery determination as her hands reached for her prize, a discarded data core. As it stood the trinket was practically worthless, but if Tali was able to repair it, it would be worth a fair chunk of credits. Something they were in short supply of.
"If you haven't noticed, we don't exactly have anything to lose by checking it out... I'm going to it." said Zeto confidently as he peeled a greasy hamburger wrapper off his red hood. Sometimes, and not very often, he was glad his species lived in suits. Not being able to smell the refuse your diving into is a blessing.
"Of course you are. You were like the only Quarian in the whole fleet who was actually excited about going on pilgrimage." crawling out of the dumpster, she examined her prize.
"I was born in the scouting fleet, a thirst for adventure is in my bloodline."
"Blood, I remind you, that no one in this galaxy sheds tear over spilling."
Zeto pulled out his pistol and checked it's thermal clip. "I'll be prepared." taking aim at a yellow can of solvent remover he imitated gunfire with his lips.
Rolling her glowing eyes behind her face mask at his juvenile display, Tali stashed the data-core in her suit and checked out the advert he was drooling over. "You know we probably won't be chosen right? Why go just to face rejection?"
"Come on Tali." Zeto pleaded, "It even say's theirs a five thousand credit signing bonus for all who join."
Giving in to her pilgrimage buddies pleas, "Well," Her voice trailed off as she mulled it over, "I-I guess checking it out couldn't hurt."
"That's my girl!" Zeto cheered and gave her a hug. "If we get there early, we can scout the place out. If it doesn't seem on the level, we bolt."
"A wise plan." even though Tali had agreed, she was nervous about the whole thing. "At least we don't have much to bring."
"That's more like it! Positive attitude. Radiate those good waves out into the universe."
000
Bachjret Ward...
Laying in her silk night gown, Samantha Traynor bucked about on her mattress in the throws of much needed stress relief. On the vidscreen near her bed, the Oxford graduate had on one of her favorite porn vids. Fleet Pass 9: The Heavy Fleet Chronicles. Through hooded dreamy eyes, Samantha watched the bound unsuited Quarian girl squeal as she blissfully submitted to her Femdom ship sister.
Like all lesbian vids of the Quarian nature, the plot was really interchangeable: A fresh eyed girl returning from pilgrimage proving her value to the ship, a ship sister needing "punishment" from the Captain for breaking the "rules", or a new pilgrims first experience with nerv stim. That sort of thing. For Samantha the cheesiness didn't matter, in fact it sometimes enhanced her enjoyment of the film. (ever heard of the phrase "so bad it's actually good.") But for the self proclaimed connoisseur of the galaxies finest spank films, she prided herself on her ability to spot true sexual arousal from fake. Samantha adored films where the ladies weren't fucking because some director told them to, but because they wanted to.
Knowing her favorite seen was fast approaching Samantha hurried her fingers pace over the hood of her aching clit. Watching the nubile Quarian in the vid squirm while her immobile body was stretched to the limit by the Omni dildo relentlessly pounding her sopping quim, Samantha grasped her breast and tweaked her nipple hard, intermixing waves of pain with her pleasure. As she saw the submissive girl's body violently shake in orgasmic glee, Traynor slipped two fingers into her dripping sex and hooked them to rub against that delicious cluster of nerves. It wouldn't be long now.
Gasping for breath, Samantha felt her vision blur as stars formed in her eyes as her body reached that glorious crescendo. Breathlessly crying out as she plummeted over the edge, her body arched in uncontrollable ecstasy as her screams outstripped those of the actresses in the vid. As she squirted and trembled Samantha felt weeks and weeks of stress leave her body in waves. Unfortunately her stay paradise was much too short and she soon returned to dreary reality where she was hopelessly forever alone, unemployed, and two months behind on rent.
"Huhhhh, I so needed that." she dreamily swooned as she retracted her sullied fingers from her sex. Drawing the digits to her lips she lavishing them with her tongues attention, per usual habit she tasted herself as she cleaned . "Mmm... Little bland." The brown beauty sighed in disappointment, "Must not be getting enough fatty acids in my diet... Not enough omega3's or fish oils."
Off in the distance Samantha heard her terminal ping with the programmed alert sound that a new job listing had been posted. As her personal finances were at that point when one starts considering stripping or porn to pay the rent, she rushed off her disheveled bed and hopped over empty take out containers to the computer. Muting the credits from the film, Traynor's eyes skimmed the page as she read the listing out loud.
"Wanted! Systems engineer proficient in aerospace avionics as well as advanced VI maintenance and repair. If you love to space travel and want to see the galaxy like never before then this job is for you. Room, board, and medical (including dental) will be provided by employer. We are an equal opportunity employer, but will give priority to those who have worked aboard Frigate class starships or higher. Xenophobes not welcome." The more and more Samantha read, the more she liked what she was seeing. "5'000 credit signing bonus for those who sign a two year service contract." That part worried her but seeing how this was the Citadel and not Illium Sam felt confident the contract wouldn't include any hanky panky. "Salary: 2,500 a month. Pay liable to increase based on performance." Smiling, she knew that even if she only stayed on a few months she could clear her debts in no time.(Not to mention build up a sizable chunk of change.) "Limited time offer! If interested in applying you must be at shuttle bay 94 by 1600 standard citadel time. When you arrive be on the lookout for a human male named Richard Steel. We can't wait to meet you and welcome you aboard the Destiny."
Looking at her terminal Samantha saw this was three hours from now, she would have to rush to get ready but it wasn't beyond the scope of possibilities. Hell, since C-Sec terminated her employment with their cyber warfare branch a few months ago she had practically already been living out of a suit case. She could handle her apartment's lease through the extranet once she had the job, along with various other affairs. But first things first, find out who this Richard Steel fellow is to see if he's on the level.
Back tracing the adds electronic watermark to find the company Richard belonged to Samantha quickly found the home page of the Blue Lagoon Trading Company. As she continued to dig through the sites ship manifest, stock records, and history she found nothing overtly nefarious to indicate subterfuge. The company was comprised of a small consortium of privately owned ships based out of Illium with trade routes that spanned all across the galaxy.
Curiosity satisfied, "Hmm, seems like a small mom a pop type of operation." Sam mused as she took a quick shower, "Probably just a bunch of Maidens playing Captain while they live off their mothers inheritance." A pang of envy shot through her at how easy some people had it. Gargling the hot water pouring into her mouth, Makes sense then why they'd want a diverse crew. More unique bodies to play with and minds to embrace eternity. Arousal blossomed at the thought of joining a ship full of sexy ladies. "Dammit Sam keep your head in the game!" she told herself as she shook off the lingering thoughts and got changed into her cleanest set of clothes.
Two and a half hours later Sam did one last run through of her luggage. Positive she had everything she needed, she left her apartment and looked upon the building for what would hopefully be the last time.
000
Chora's Den...
Approaching the seediest bar on the citadel, Shepard prepared himself for a fight and entered. To his surprise the place actually looked decent for a change, no doubt C-Sec must have just payed a visit. Cops in this area not on the club owners payroll always had a way of scattering the cockroaches. Like when a shark swims by a reef and all the aquatic life dart to the safety of their coral houses.
"Heeey Shepard!" John heard the familiar slur of his former shipmate call him over. Much to his chagrin he saw a few of the dancers eyes light up at the idea of rich and easy prospects. "Come on over buddy!" Joker hooped and hollered as he slapped the Asari dancer grinding him carefully on her bare ass to move and make room. Knowing a drunk Joker was a mouthy Joker, Johnathan moved quickly to the table.
"Ever hear the phrase 'Loose lips sink ships' Joker?" Shepard hushed as he watched the few Batarian's, Turian's and Krogan at the bar turn their heads back to their respective drinks. Whispering into his ear, "The names Richard Steel. If you gonna call me something call me that. Got to keep things on the down low for a bit."
"Dick Steel!" Joker howled, "What are you, a porn star!"
Clenching his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, Johnathan contemplated how to manhandle the best pilot he'd ever seen without breaking too many of his bones. "Joker. Shut. The fuck. Up. Or I'm gonna cut you in ways that make you useless to a woman." Flashing the Asari dancer a forced pleasant smile he nodded his head to the bar and gestured for her to leave. Finding no jest in the new humans blue eyes, the Asari did just that.
"Awww, Come back baby." Jeff pleaded as he spilled his drink on his pants. "I bought you for another hour."
"Sorry babe." The limber blue alien sweetly cooed as she acrobatically moved off the table, "But I don't do group jobs, or scary men. And your boy here may be devilishly handsome but his eyes are telling me to be it." Placing her palms on the table and puffing her bare breast out for him to touch she smiled as her former clients did just that. "I'll refund the time you had left sugar. Maybe once you're done with him though, we can continue where we left off."
Cocking a lecherous smile Johnathan didn't have to be a mind reader to know what Joker was thinking about. "So Joker, hows life treating you."
"Fine till about a minute ago. Anyone ever tell you really know how to kill a buzz."
Keeping silent he raised his omni and ordered them some drinks. If anyone was watching they'd just think the pair were having some friendly conversation. "So, about my offer."
"Look I remember promising you that if you ever had a ship of your own," Joker gently clapped his buddy on the shoulder, "Be it a garbage scowl, cargo ship, or even a rinkey dink shuttle craft, that I'd come pilot it for you." Finishing off his drink. "So tell me where to go and I'l be there."
John couldn't stop the tears from welling in his eyes. Joker was a true friend.
"Aww geeze, you're not gonna get all blubbery on me are ya?"
Sniffling,"No, just got something in my eye you bastard. It's what happens when you hang out in seedy bars like this." Taking his arrived drink Shepard gulped half of it down in one go. Reaching for the working girl menu John picked out a decent priced Asari and payed her balance for two hours. "Consider this a thank you Jeff. One of many you'll get as my Pilot."
"What are?" Joker stared to say but his mouth dropped open when he saw a scantily clad purple matron elegantly walk over to their table. "No, you didn't," Looking at her swelling confined breasts, "You sly dog you did!"
"Just, just have a good time and for gods sake don't break a hip."
"Hey," The whore purred seductively, "Why don't you say you and I go find someplace more private. Your lovely friend here's more than welcome to join us."
"Nope. He's no fun baby, tonight you're all mine!" Joker huffed as he shuffled his crippled behind out of the booth to take her extended hand. As they walked off to the back rooms, "Hope you don't mind doing most of the work honey, kinda got a debilitating bone condition. Earned it pulling Commander Shepard's ass out of a chemical spill." John could hear the excitement in the whores voice jumped a few octaves at the thought. These girls may be pretty but gods are they dumber than a bag of hammers. Christ now what am I going to do?
000
Silversun Strip...
Almost an hour of drinks later, Shepard was feeling properly tossed. Like many an alcoholic, he'd made the foolhardy mistake of believing he could just patiently sit in a bar and not partake in the sins of the bottle and flesh. Somewhere between waiting for Joker, ordering three cases of Ryncol from the drink kiosk, getting a lap dance from an Asari stripper with glowing purple tribal tattoos (Probably eezo activated ink), and a quickie blowjob from said stripper in the backroom, he had managed to drink enough alcohol to kill an Elcor. Furthermore, the intoxicated Captain had somehow managed to transport himself from Chora's Den to a quaint little restaurant on the Silversun strip without alerting C-sec, to meet up with his old friend Dr. Karin Chakwas.
Karin sighed and shook her head like a disappointed mother, "Johnathan. Really, you must take better care of yourself." Looking to the drell waiter, "Two cups of coffee, black."
"Right away ma'am," came his gravely voiced reply as he turned and walked away.
"Nice to see you too Karin." Shepard grumbled. Massaging his temples, "How's life?"
"Busy." The silver haired fox snipped. It was clear that whatever warmness was in their text chats that day had vanished along with Shepard's sobriety. "And you, I suppose theirs a reason you're not wearing your dress blues?" Her icy tone made the statement sound more like a demeaning accusation than actual question.
This is going to be interesting. Shepard mused. If David Anderson and Steven Hackett could be seen as John and Clair's adoptive fathers, then Karin Chakwas was undoubtedly their mother. And as much as it pained him to ask her to play favorites, Shepard needed her medical expertise. "I've put my papers in Karin. I'm out."
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the butler dressed Drell waiter approach with their drinks, "Bullshit Commander." Her slightly wrinkled weathered face was a mask of unreadable stone, "Career soldiers like us don't just up and quit. We either die in the line of duty or age out." Tone taking on a more disciplinary note, "What did you do? Who'd you piss off this time? Which fleet admirals daughter you sleep with?"
"Hey that only happened once." Feigning grievous injury, "And oww Karin, it hurts to know you think so little of me." Taking a big drink of coffee, John relished at how the liquid scorched his throat and pepped him up. "You know Ash and I eventually made up... The truth is I actually am retiring Doc. I've cashed in my chips and even got a ship of my own."
Sipping her own cup, "Oh, so like an impudent child throwing a temper tantrum you go and take the easy way to get to Captain."
"Jesus Christ!" Coughing, he pounded his chest for air, "I forgot just how sharp your tongue is."
"It's the only bladed weapon that gets sharper with use Johnathan." Sighing and folding her arms into her lap, "But I doubt you wanted to meet up just so you can tell me you're giving the Alliance the finger."
"Cleaver as always Karin." Shepard smiled as he finished his coffee and ordered another. "Not to mention quite the looker too."
"Enough flattery Shepard, get to the point...And none of your usual tricks please, I'm not some starry eyed private on her first tour. I've seen them all."
"Very well," Johnathan knew recruiting Karin was a long shot at best. The Woman practically bled blue for the Alliance and would rather die than betray it. But he also knew that if he was going to stand any chance at getting her on his side, honesty was the only policy. "I'm going mercenary Karin. I've finally got a ship of my own to command and I want, no scratch that, I need the best people by my side. And that's you Karin... You are the greatest combat surgeon I've ever had the privilege, or misfortune depending on your world view, of meeting. You've saved my life countless times and stuck by me when few else would. Now let me return the favor. Let me give you the opportunity to get in the saddle one last time. Join my crew."
Moving her hand across the table, Karin gently gripped Shepard's own. Truly smiling, the harshness evaporated from her body. "That's a very lovely thing for you to say John, and the feelings mutual. I want you to know that it's has been an absolute pleasure of mine to watch you and your sister grow up. At times it's hard to imagine you're not that small boy from Mindior anymore. God knows it would be thrilling to be back on a ship, working upon proper Soldiers once more."
"But?" Shepard could feel his heart drop.
"But I'm old Johnathan."
"Not that old!" He couldn't stop himself from reverting to his younger self, "You still got a good eighty years left. In fact Karin you don't look a day over 57."
"That's sweet of you to say." She cupped his cheek, "But I'm happy here. I have a life, I've settled down."
Sulking, "It can't be all that good."
"Johnathan." The way she said his name it was like a ray of sunlight after a stormy night. "You have no idea what a comfort it is to never again having to hold my breath in endless worry, praying that I didn't say goodbye to the people I love for the last time. It was torture having to listen to the gunfire and explosions crackle over the wireless from my med bay."
"I, I didn't know you listened in."
"Of course I listened in. You all were more than just mass produced bodies to me, you were my shipmates, my friends, and in some cases you were like my children." John could see the heartache crack through her stony exterior visage, "I know I didn't show it, but by the end of my career John I absolutely detested my work. I hated piecing you lot back together like some morbid Humpty Dumpty, watching you struggled through the pains of recovery, keeping stoic masks on your faces to hid the pain. I witnessed all that suffering, only to have to watch you all jump back into the meat grinder and wind up on my table once again." Wiping a tear from her face, "God look what I've gone and done. Ruining the mood."
Even if she was the best John knew he couldn't ask her to come back, "I, I understand." A long silent pause filled the air between the two old warriors. Around them the laughter of numerous species taking in the sights and attractions of the strip seemed like a bleak contrast to the small world between them. Finishing his third cup of coffee John decided it was time to break the morbidity, "You're at least gonna come check out my ship right?" he saw a small waning smile spread across her lips, "I mean I need to know if I'm properly supplied right."
"Absolutely Johnathan, I would love to." Karin replied as she payed the bill, "Where are you docked?"
Looking at his Omni John saw that almost an hour had passed since he sat down. Where the time went was anyone's guess. "I don't want to chase you away Karin, but don't you have to get back to work?"
sniffling once more, "No," raising her own omni, her white doctors uniform was temporarily bathed in an orange hued glow, " It would be unprofessional for me to operate on anyone in my compromised state." Catching a sorrowful look in his blue eyes, "Shepard, calm down, I'm not going section eight on you just yet. Now," Karin hooked out her arm expectantly, "Take me to your ship."
Tacking the lead, the pair walked arm in arm out of the restaurant and through the flashy light filled walkways of the strip.
"I take it you already recruited Joker." Karin squeezed close to Shepard's body to give the right of way to a pair of passing Elcor.
"Why do you think I'm drunk at lunchtime?" This caused the woman on his arm to giggle, "He practically broke a hip jumping for joy when I told him the news."
"Sounds like our Jeff."
"Speaking of which," John hummed as he sent out a quick message to Joker, retelling him when and where to meet. Afterwords he reopened the job listing page and added a countdown clock.
"Ohh, what's that?... Really Johnathan. A help wanted add."
"Hey, if it works it works."
000
Docking bay 94...
From a darkened perch behind a crate of supplies, Tali kept watchful eye upon her fellow Quarian as two humans approached. She recognized the male as the poster of the add, but she had no clue as to who the white haired female was. Though judging from the friendliness of their body language, Tali figured they must have known each other for a long time. At least they didn't look like criminals. "Zeto, you have two humans approaching from the south."
Clicking his helmets external audio to mute, "I see them. Seem harmless enough." in his headset he heard the sounds of a pistol being cocked, "Why must you always be in a hurry to lay down unwarranted judgement."
"Says the man who trusted a Vorcha to look after his bag while he changed a suit seal."
Embarrassment flushing his cheeks, "That was an isolated event! How was I supposed to know he was a pickpocket!? And might I remind you I caught the scoundrel and reclaimed my possessions! While you on the other hand-"
"The human is talking to you." Tali couldn't bite back the laugh at the scene before her. How strange Zeto must have looked to the human's eyes. Ranting and throwing his arms about as he argued with an invisible opponent.
"Keelah I hate you sometimes." Zeto seethed in playful rage as he went into damage control mode. "Sorry about that, I assure you I'm not crazy. I was just having a heated debate witha colleague of mine." extending his hand in human greeting, "Zeto'Seya nar Iktomi, pleased to make your acquaintance."
As the Quarians named swam through his ears, Shepard couldn't stop himself from doubling over in gut bursting laughter. Leaning against his shuttle hatch for support, the Captain drew bewildered stares of those around him. Joyous tears welled in his eyes as John tried to wipe them away and regain some decorum of control.
"I'm sorry, it's not you, it's the name."
"What the hell are you going on about now?" Karin chided
"His last name Karin... Iktomi."
"I guess it had to happen sometime." Karin sighed in amusement, "Clearly the final screw in your head has come loose."
"Umm, I didn't realize I did something humorous." Zeto said as he tried to understand what was going on.
"Don't worry, the Captain here is just an idiot sometimes. I assure you it'll pass in a bit. Won't it John." Karin elbowed Shepard hard in the gut, partially knocking the wind out of him. Al
"I promise you'll be in tears in a second, Karin, just think on it... What happens to Quarian names when they serve on a ship?"
"The nar changes to vas. I still don't see what you're..." blinking a few times, Karin knew what had him in stitches. "Oh for goodness sake! You're 30 years old! Grow up would you!"
Retracting his hand, Zeto's fingers began idly playing with themselves as he wondered if these two humans had some sort of mental defect. "Excuse me but I'm still quite confused."
Smacking Shepard fairly hard in the back of the head, Chakwas explained. "What has him so giddy is how your last name will be vas Iktomi, if you return to serve on your birthship." both Tali and Zeto were at a loss that someone besides a fellow Quarian knew anything about their culture. Sighing and knitting her brows, Karin couldn't believe how childish Shepard could be, "The name bears striking similarity to a human medical practice called a vasectomy... vas Iktomi, vasectomy."
"I've never heard of that procedure before," Zeto stated as he searched his omni's medical database. In her corner, Tali was doing the same. If it wasn't for his mask the humans would have seen how wide his eyes became when he found the procedure. "Ohh my... Keelah!" his free hand went automatically to his groin. "Why.. why.. why would anyone do such a barbaric thing!"
"Birth control mostly. Some married couples already have children and don't want anymore." Karin rattled off like she was reading a phone book.
"But why not use condoms? or-"
John raised his hand, he was still giggling, but the moment had passed. "Look, we can discuss all this at length later." standing back up he put on his business face and extended his hand, "Captain Richard Steel. Sorry about the outburst, I didn't mean offense."
Karin decided to keep her questions about John's sudden name change to herself for the time being. However it did send up red flags that her friend may be involved in something illegal.
Zeto took the captains hand in his, "Zeto'Seya nar Iktomi, and please think nothing of it Captain."
Releasing the firm handshake, "I see you two are the first ones here."
"Two? W-what are you talking about?" Zeto's vocalizer warbled in a way indicative of hidden worry.
"Your friend hiding over there by the shipping crates. You really needn't worry, I mean you no harm." out of the corner of John's eye he saw a pale, purple suited, female Quarian step out of the darkness. In her hands was a pistol Johnathan had only ever seen in museums. Rolling his eyes, "Look, I'm not gonna harm you. So why don't you holster that antique and come down and introduce yourself."
"Zeto?" Tali nervously questioned. Needing guidance.
"It's fine Tali. Right Captain?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna hold it against you or anything." Shepard yawned, his relaxed tone and body language made it clear this was not the first time he'd been held at gunpoint. "If it makes your decision any easier, Tali, was it. The both of you already got the job."
Lowering the pistol slightly, "Really? You're hiring us just like that."
"Yeah." Shepard replied not understanding where the problem lied. Gotta remember to take that pistol away from her. If she's this jumpy now I can't imagine how'd she be when they see the Cerberus logos all over my ship. "What were you expecting? A whole song and dance routine?"
Over the next half hour John, Karin, Zeto, and Tali were joined by Joker, a human female named Samantha Traynor, and an Asari maiden named Elnora. After the introduction's, Shepard transferred the signing bonus to Traynor and the two Quarians, loaded the Shuttle craft up with everyone's belongs, and bid the Citadel farewell.
As soon as they were passed the Widows relays, Shepard swiveled the pilots chair. "In the interest of full disclosure so no one does something stupid. It's worth mentioning the frigate were going to board has Cerberus markings on it." Que Gasp! As expected everyone in the shuttle had an adverse reaction. Flaring his biotics and trapping them in a stasis field, he continued. "Calm down people. I don't work for them. I don't like them. And up until a few days ago my job was hunting them down. The ship only has their markings because I stole it from them and haven't had time to change the color scheme."
"Jesus Shepard, talk about ballsy. Stealing from the Illusive Man." Joker complimented, "By the way, mind releasing me. You know... Brittle bones."
"Sorry bout that Jeff, just needed to make sure no one pulled out a gun or something." John leveled his eyes at Tali as he released Joker from his grasp.
"Did he say Shepard?!" Elnora all but squeaked in wondrous amazement, "As in the Lion of Elysium?"
"Yup." John stated nonchalantly as he sent the confirmation codes to the SR-2. "Except I don't work for the Alliance anymore, decided to go into the private sector."
"So, are you a Pirate now?" the blue Maidens giddiness did not diminish the slightest and all concerns of Cerberus left her mind.
"I prefer the term Privateer. Sounds more classy."
Part 1 end
A/N: please review. I'm desperate for feedback.
