"Wait a minute," Iruka butted in.

"You can't be for real.

That's so farfetched!"

Naruto admitted "It wasn't much of a meal…"

It had been Naruto's worst nightmare

His foe was one-of-a-kind.

"We searched for each other's weaknesses

But nothing came to mind.

We are freaks, you and I.

This is what I reasoned with a sigh.

If the ramen heard, I couldn't tell.

But I had a bad feeling that I had to fight or go to hell.

That idea did not appeal to me.

Too bad words could not get through to this beast.

I didn't like being alone.

Should I summon a toad at the least?

The ramen monster tripped me

Thus my thoughts shifted into battle gear

I went into a fighting stance

And gave the monster a big ol' leer.

'What jutsu would be most effective?' was what ran through my mind

All I really wanted was for him not to kick my behind.

The shop keeper was laughing at my foolish blunder.

And because of that I kept wishing he would get struck by thunder.

And that's when it hit me.

The chidori—Sasuke's crazy attack

But I didn't know how to use it

That was a definite fact.

The ramen made yet another lunge.

I needed to be quick on my toes.

Then a most obvious idea came to me:

Think of him as food, not foe.

It became a battle of who could eat the other first.

The ramen monster almost ate me, I accidentally cursed.

I swore for two reasons, now when I think back.

One: the close call, two: eating five misos and a Big Mac.

As I wished my belly a little less full,

The two of us wrestled to eat the other.

I noticed down the road

Was my cruel, imaginary brother.

Sasuke was coolly walking the trail.

But as he walked along,

He failed to notice

The ramen of six foot long.

He didn't jump in or even say "hi."

Then he disappeared without a "goodbye."

"How rude!" I grumbled.

But that a mistake—for then I fumbled!

While I was dreaming

Of smacking him upside the head,

The monster had me cornered

And I quickly filled with dread."

Iruka's eye's narrowed

As he kept checking the time.

I didn't really think

He was enjoying my rhyme.

Naruto figured he better pick up his speed

Since at that moment, Iruka was real peeved.

"My luck changed from the worst.

Now came a much more useful guest than the first.

I'll give you a hint:

This other guest was somewhat lewd

It was Jiraiya-sensei!

Who, may I say, was much less rude.

The old man jumped off his toad.

He cackled and insulted me.

And I was close to rethink

What I had said about he.

The monster now knew it was beaten

In a flash, Jiraiya had him eaten.

The old fart turned to me and saw

My look of total and amazed awe.

He was about to leave.

And I knew he didn't have much time.

But he parted by telling me this cool line:

"It could have used a hint of lime.""