Is that Really How You Feel?

Beast Boy watched his Raven fly off towards the sun until she was just a speck in the oblivion and shivered. The tears wouldn't seem to cease, and the changeling doubted they ever would. He had loved her after all, with his heart and soul. No one would ever understand that. Sure, Robin and Starfire knew what it felt like (duh), but had they ever felt this kind of emotional pain? Robin- he had watched his parents die. But Raven didn't die- she just went away. Left him.

Starfire, heck, BB didn't know what happened to her parents, but she was so cheery all the time with her happy-go-lucky attitude. Every single one of the titans had their emotional difficulties. But had they ever had someone leave you? Say goodbye and never know if they were to return? Don't think so. All right, enough of my blabbing, on with the sadness.

Beast Boy's POV

I retreated sadly back into the tower, my head hanging low. I looked to the clock- 7:50 am. The others would be up soon. Then I would have to give them the whole shmeal of Raven's disappearance. I sighed, boredom and anguish dripping from my breath. Suddenly, I heard the squeak of circuits and the creak of machinery. Cyborg's up. And what would he ask? 'Hey man, where's Raven?' Same question every morning. It was obviously because he had a little crush on her. Wait; scratch that out- he had a HUGE crush on her. Heck, he had even made these 'plans' for Valentine's Day, which was coming up in like a month. Wouldn't he be disappointed? "Hey man, where's Raven?" What did I tell you? "No wait, she's meditating again…" he answered himself. "No," I croaked. "Alrightie, then she's in her room…" Idiot. He thought he knew everything about her and where she was at every given moment. "No." Cyborg gave me a look. "Okay, then where is my Raven?" he asked. I clenched my teeth together tightly. "Look, I'll tell you as soon as you say she's your Raven. She doesn't belong to you or anybody else!" "Sheesh, chill man! What are you? Her boyfriend? No no, wait…that's me!" Cyborg chuckled at the idea. This was getting out of hand. I stood up suddenly, and my fingers curled into fists. "You aren't her boyfriend, dude, so just lay off! And guess what? Raven's not here! She's somewhere else, flying somewhere to find out how to control her powers! And you wanna know something else you worthless piece of metallic crap? SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK! EVER!" Whoa. Temper.

Cyborg looked at me in horror and amazement. He was amazed because I had screamed my lungs out. He was horrified because I had managed to call him a worthless piece of metallic crap. Or maybe it was because he didn't know that I knew such big words. Don't know which.

He set his face in his hands and just started repeating the same words over and over again. "Oh man…oh man…oh man…oh man…" What a nitwit. He's just accepting the fact that Raven's gone and won't do anything about it. Oh and here's the worst part. After about fifteen minutes of muttering 'oh man,' he finally speaks up. And ya know what he says? "Well, least I still have Jinx." Ooh, that made me snap big time. "WHAT?" More screaming. It's a new record. "YOU WERE JUST USING HER?! YOU ACTED LIKE YOU LOVED HER! LIKE YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP HER! AND WHAT DO YOU SAY? 'WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE JINX.' WELL BE HAPPY YOU HAVE JINX! CUZ YOU JUST LOST A FRIEND!"

Cyborg's face turned red. "You have no idea…" his voice quavered like a broken record. "…what mistake you just made," "Actually," I said with confidence. "I think you're the one who made the mistake." And with that, I ran to my room. And I didn't look back.

Cyborg's POV

Freakin' little roach. He just thinks he can say whether I was using Raven or not? Ooh, well he'd better think again. The kid frickin spazzed out on me just because of one tiny little sentence. Besides, he can't control my life. I can do whatever I dang well want, whether it's with women, or my car, or the team.

Beast Boy's POV

I sat in my room with the dim lighting caressing my small silhouette. All the crappy junk that used to inhabit my room was picked up, which was weird because I was never much of a neat freak. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cried some more, shouted some more (mostly to my imaginary friend, Frank). At about ten thirty, I could tell that all of the other titans were awake, but I didn't go downstairs and fight with Cyborg over the meat and tofu issue. I wasn't going to come out of my room today. For Raven. And I wasn't going to eat all day. For Raven. I fished around in my closet for this two-year planner that I found on the street and never used, and marked the calendar next year for January 22. For Raven.

I don't know what time it was when Star pounded on my door, or when I fell asleep. She said she wished to speak to me about none other than Raven. "Sorry Star," I murmured, my voice barely a whisper. "I just need to stay in my room for a while." Which frankly, was the rest of the day. And all of the next day. And the next day. And the next day.

Raven's POV

I groaned and peered around the crowd of people in front of me. I knew I shouldn't have gotten in line for the ferry. But did I trust my instincts? Nooooooooo. The person in front of me a huge, obese…thing…I had a hard time figuring out whether it was a man or a woman. Freaky. I groaned again.

Well, at least I wasn't noticeable. I had picked up a pair of bell-bottom jeans and a dark green tee shirt along with a dark blue hoodie from a thrift store on the other side of town, along with a few other things, and stuffed 'em in my bag. Then I had begun to wait in line for what would now be twenty minutes. I began sifting through my bag out of pure boredom, and found it- my Holy Bible. Big whoop if I'm Christian. So sue me. Loads of other people in this country love the Lord, why can't I? Just because I'm daughter of royalty doesn't mean I can't worship God. I began reading the book of Daniel when the obese person turned around and stared at me. I turned the other way and read, but I could still feel the person staring at me. "You read the bible?" The person asked. I still couldn't tell the person's gender. "Yeah, you have a problem with that?" I asked, my voice dripping with poison. That shut the thing up. It turned around just as the line began to move again. So much for reading.

It was only a matter of time before I was at the front of the line- most of the waiting was due to the obese person's fatness. "One ticket to uh…" I looked at the Destination Sign. "Watsontown, please." (Watsontown is my hometown. And it's snowing like, really hard right now. On the 22nd. Man, this is ironic.) The woman in the booth handed me a bright yellow ticket with the word Watsontown printed on it.

(I don't know why I did that. I just felt really…really…bored)

On the back of the ticket, it actually stated that the population, which was 4000. Small town. I didn't really get the right impression by the looks of the ticket- but I'd never know if I didn't try. I ran over to the boarding dock, and was about to get on the boat, but I then spotted a tiny calico-colored kitten walking limping along. She had these enormous green eyes that reminded me so much of Beast Boy and his 'face'. I missed him so much.

I looked at the kitten more closely and saw that she was a stray- and she was walking towards me. She rubbed up against my leg, and sent shivers down my spine. I looked to the ferry and saw that there was a 'No Animals' sign hanging from a post on the boarding dock, and began walking towards the boat. The kitten followed. I stopped. The kitten stopped. She looked at me with those green orbs, and I took pity. Rolling my eyes, I picked the kitten up and put her in my bag, hoping she wouldn't make any noise as I boarded the ferry to Watsontown.

The kitten part was dedicated to my own little kitten, Patches, who is now motherless…and…possible sister-less. (Sniff)

We will miss you

Oreo

Smokey

Ruby