Disclaimer: I, GinKitsune, do Not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters. All Rights to that title go to Rumiko Takahashi-san. This fanfic is solely for fan entertainment only.
A/N: Thank you guys for all the fav story alerts. To the two people that did review: I want to huggle them for their words of kindness, compliments; seeming to enjoy what I've written so far. It makes me happy to check my e-mail these days :). I would also like to thank those who have put this story in their alerts, you guys pwease review, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
Chapter 3: Numb
She wasn't eating.
It had been a month since he had unsheathed Tenseiga and brought her back to the world of the living, and she hadn't said a single word. Again he found himself coming up short when it came to understanding this strange girl, up until three days ago she had been eating, very little but still taking in food. But now it was as if she was fighting off the hunger her body felt and ignoring the meals brought to her, leaving them untouched. Did she plan to starve herself to death? He wondered as his mind started slipping off to that day again.
Shock was the most prominent expression on her face at the time, but as she slowly looked up at him recognition dawned on her face. He stood over her frail form, blood all around her, surrounding her. He had expected her to scream or run but she had surprised him; an accomplishment of it's own. She did nothing, not at first, her eyes never left his but he could see that she was fighting to hold her eyes open. As the seconds ticked by in silence, he began to think perhaps she had went into shock; it would certainly explain her lack of reaction. But as he coolly gazed into those dark blue eyes, eyes that saw everything, she gazed up at him as if she were trapped and then she lost consciousness.
What was he going to do with her? Would he have to have a servant force feed her the food, he questioned himself, but if he did that he was sure she'd be less than happy about it and would just make his job to gain her acceptance of his plans much harder. There had to be a way to get her into a functional condition, but so far leaving her to her privacy wasn't having a productive effect on her. The agitation that pricked at him was growing more each time he was informed of her silent denial to eat. He was going to have to consult her sooner or later, before she did, indeed, starve herself to death.
Sesshomaru looked away from the scrolls on his desk and gazed out his window, listening to the cool spring breeze a it passed through the trees. The sound was something of comfort as his mind contemplated this new situation he found himself in. He could handle any attack an enemy threw at him but this girl couldn't be dealt with by sword or by any combat for that matter. With her it was a matter of heart: something he didn't understand. How could he rein in control of her when she was broken, she had nothing he could use as leverage for his advantage either…
He heard the wobble of footsteps from down the hall before the approach, coming to an abrupt halt before reaching his door and lingered there a moment, Sesshomaru inhaled the scent of flowers from the garden drifting in from his window in attempt calm the new frustration building within him and patiently waited for the little annoying toad demon to gather his wits to finish his destination to the door frame. When seconds ticked by and still he hadn't moved an inch Sesshomaru grew tired of waiting for him and quietly called out to the little demon.
"Jaken, you may enter now," he watched the little toad nearly trip on his robe in his haste to stand by the door in clear eyesight.
"My Lord," Jaken squawked as he bowed low, his big yellow eyes downcast to the floor, hesitantly he fiddled with his sleeve.
"What is it Jaken?," Sesshomaru coolly questioned.
Still keeping his eyes glued to his sleeve the little toad hesitantly spoke, "the miko, she's refused her meal again…"
"I see," Sesshoumaru simply stated. A few moments passed in silence, which was causing Jaken to grow more nervous with each passing moment.
"Jaken, go collect her meal back and wait outside of her quarters, wait there for further instruction," Sesshomaru instructed, still staring out his window.
"Yes, My Lord," quickly Jaken stumbled back out the door and disappeared.
The birds chirped their happy song to one another from the trees, a fluffy white cloud covered the sun momentarily before lazily moving on, letting the sun beams to shine back once again into his office. Sesshomaru leaned back in his chair and took a moment to just listen, listen to the sounds around him as his mind tried to conjure up a way to get her to bend to his needs without causing more injury, but most importantly to not cause injury to his own pride. He wouldn't beg her, oh no no, all of hells flames would freeze over before that happened.
It was his job to protect his lands, and all it's occupants, he had every intention of doing just that, come hell or high waters. If this girl could aid his position then he was going to put her abilities to full use.
He had been content to let his foolish half brother collect the shards, it saved him from the hassle of the task, he had planned to go on about his many other responsibilities that came with his title. But as of recently it was becoming apparent that more shards were finding their way onto his lands. The attacks becoming more frequent and forcing him to take more time away on patrols for said demons with shards. Finding them was a real problem though, it was a constant job to search for the heightened jyaki and tracking- always on the move.
But now he had this girl, Inuyasha's Miko companion, and he knew of her powers; she could sense the shards and she held responsibility of her own tying her to the shards. They could be of use to one another, even though he wasn't happy with the idea of working with humans at all, well of working with anyone period actually, he would endure it as a part of his responsibilities. He could be around her without killing her, with his resolve set Sesshomaru stood up and walked out of his office, silently moving his way down the hall to her room.
Slowly Kagome's bloodshot eyes trailed up to the door, dully noting the jyaki that resided outside of it, he had been standing there for a few minutes now but what caught her attention now was the very powerful new jyaki that poured into the room, curling around her. She flinched back a few inches from the invisible contact, she knew who it belonged to, why was he coming here? Did he finally decide to end her life, he must be bored of his little game and deciding to end it. For a fleeting moment her body wanted to fight, instinctive in nature, but her mind was another story. She didn't care to die, she had nothing left to lose, silently she stood and waited for the door to open.
Within seconds the door opened smoothly, a gasp lodged in her throat as his form took up the frame as he entered, she felt like she couldn't breathe again. Not because of his jyaki but because of the emotions that ate away at her insides at the sight of him, the cold taiyoukai held the same golden eyes as Him, the scent somewhat familiar on a more primal level, the long silver flowing hair. All similarities ending there but it was enough to crush her still, she pulled her eyes away from his form and glued to the floor, she tried desperately to shove away the images that began to swim around her before she broke down right in front of him. He wouldn't get that pleasure from her.
Without a sound he was there in front of her, he had been at the door but as she peered down she suddenly felt his presence just in front of her, Kagome cut off the startled yelp that nearly escaped her throat, the sound that came out sounding more like a small gurgle as she tried to not flinch away from him. He was too close, way too close, even though from the feel of it he was an arms length away she couldn't help but wish he were back across the room. She clenched her fists at her sides and held her ground and waited….she waited for him to attack and end it… she didn't know how long she waited but it was becoming unbearable, slowly she shifted her eyes up and stopped at his shoulder, not daring to meet his face…those eyes.
"Why…?," the question softly escaped her lips before she could stop herself. Why did he bring her back to life? Why was he keeping her here? Why hadn't he ended it already?
Sesshomaru stood there silently, taking in her enigmatic question, though he could think of things to say that would sway her mind into going along with him more willingly, he didn't want to lie to her or sow seeds of false promises into the cracks of the broken girl in front of him. Being truthful was the only way to gain a small amount of trust and ultimately gain her cooperation, but he wouldn't tell her just How important her role played meant to him. His hand lifted slowly, not wanting to frighten her, and a clawed finger moved to the bandaged area over her heart.
"Because this," He lightly grazed the fabric to elaborate, "is still yours, this burden," Sesshomaru turned his hand over and opened it up, a small shard he had collected on his own before their encounter, in his palm- "is still yours to hold," he finished nonchalantly. Swiftly he moved his hand away from her, back down to his side, watching her expression change along with her heart rate. Even if in her mind she weren't afraid of death, her heightened scent and heart rate seemed to portray his movement as a threat. At least her survival instinct was still intact, he mused.
Kagome held her breath as her heart began to race from the contact, though the touch was very light she could still feel it even after his hand was back against his side, mentally she began to beat her body back down into submission. She concentrated on getting her heart to slow back down to a normal pace, and making her lungs work properly once more. Once her body was in check she raised her eyes momentarily to his flat golden ones before quickly moving lower once more, staring down along his right arm -his only arm- to his hand intensely.
"I will help you gather the shards of the Shikon no Tama, woman, but first you must forget your own sorrows for the moment, you must take control of your responsibility and finish out your quest to complete the jewel, and," he elaborated further without missing a beat, " you must eat to gain your strength back before you can do anything. Do not allow yourself to succumb to death so easily, it's unbecoming of you." His cold eyes scanned her thin frame.
"Unbecoming of me? How would you know what's "unbecoming" of me, you don't even know me, you probably don't even know my name," Kagome coldly gritted the words out, so he had done this to gain the shards, since when did the oh Great Lord Sesshomaru want the sacred jewel? She wanted to slap him for putting her through this pain, for his own twisted desire for power, but at the same time his words rang true. The Shikon no Tama was still her responsibility, she couldn't deny that. Her musing was cut off by his response.
"Your name is Kagome," He stated quietly. Her name rolled off his tongue easily and Kagome fought off the feeling that suddenly went through her leaving her heart to stutter, quickly she reined in control of herself. Refusing to admit she liked the way her name sounded from his lips, Kagome fought off the urge to wrap her arms around herself. Without a word being issued from the taiyoukai the little toad demon, Jaken, entered her room and placed the tray of food down on the desk in the room, sparring her a glare before waddling back to the door and waiting outside for his master.
Feeling more awake now than at any time before since she woke up here, the smell of food caused hunger to pull at her insides with a ravenous need, she fought against it and cursed her weak body for rebelling against her. She watched him as he walked over to the desk and removed the lid from the tray and picked up a small bite size piece of meat, lifted it to his lips and popped it into his mouth. Her deep blue eyes were glued to his mouth as he chewed slowly and swallowed the food, swiftly he wiped away any remnant of the juice from the meat off his lower lip and strode over to the door.
Sesshomaru watched the girl watch him, amusement sneaking it's way into his mind as her mouth fell open slightly, did she know what her body was even doing right now? Did she realize she was licking her lower lip and just the look on her face was priceless, amusement flashed in his eyes as she started to move closer. He had ate a morsel for her benefit, to prove it wasn't poisoned, not that any puny poison that would kill a human could harm him- but it was the gesture he wanted to imply. He wasn't feeding her something to harm her.
As he reached the door frame he surveyed her a moment before speaking, "Eat, I recommend you seriously consider my generous offer, I will return in two hours for your answer."
And then he slid the door closed and was gone, as silent as he had come, Kagome stared at the plate of food and couldn't fight off the hunger in her awakened state of mind. Her hands shaking she reached over and took the plate into her hands, she slid down to the ground with a small thump. Her hands seemed to be shaking harder as she held up a piece of meat and put it to her lips, he had ate a piece and she knew it was a gesture to show the food was fine, she opened her mouth and bit into the juicy meat. It tasted so good, she grabbed a roll and bit into it and nearly groaned out as she greedily took a big bite of rice, and with that she gave way to the hunger that consumed her. Hunger really was the best seasoning.
Kagome leaned back against the wall in a contempt sigh of relief, so full she thought she would pop like a tick if she had another bite, she found herself staring at her sprawled out legs in front of her, eyes roaming over the very light lavender yukata she adorned. Things were so much easier to ignore when you felt detached and numb, but feeling awake as she did now her mind reeled in thought over Sesshomaru's offer, so he said he'll help me, she pondered to herself quietly. A frown pulling her lips down as she retraced his words in her mind, the very idea of having him around her sent chills up her spine, but could she do it alone? She didn't think she could do it, and the idea of being out there alone stung worse than the idea of having him by her side.
She knew she had her whole soul back now that Kikyou was gone from this plane, she could feel it throughout her body burning inside of her, Kagome had never felt more complete and broken at the same time in all her life. But even so she knew she would accept Sesshomaru's offer, as much as it hurt to be around him, he was real and willing to assist her. It didn't matter much that he obviously had a reason for doing so, he wasn't doing this out of kindness. What really mattered was the fact she still had a responsibility, broken or not, and he was the only one there offering to aide her with the heavy burden. A sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, she wasn't going to question his reasons, she didn't think she had the strength or care to really want to know why he was willing to help.
Swiftly the accustomed numbness came back to her as she sat there against the wall, Kagome openly welcomed the feeling back, nothing hurt as bad so long as she felt detached- nothing could touch her while she was numb. At least not during the time her eyes were open. A short time later she felt the familiar jyaki approaching her, dimly Kagome got to her feet and kept her eyes on the door, she was sure the heavy footsteps were meant to be a warning for her to announce his arrival. Did he really think her dull sense of hearing was the only way she'd know of his approach? She mentally questioned but pushed the thought aside as the door slid silently open.
"Have you an answer for me, woman?," came his cool deep voice. Sesshomaru stood there with a regal appearance that would make anyone envious, well except her, she just felt indifferent about it. Mask in place Kagome nodded her head before walking over to the window and stared out at the surroundings.
"I accept," She said without hesitation, she didn't look over at him but he knew her full attention was on him. Inwardly he almost smirked at his easy triumph, she was going to cooperate with him of her own will, that alone would make the job they had ahead of them easier. He appraised her back again while he stood in the door way, he wasn't leering, just simply searching for the wound he knew to be there. After a moment of consideration he walked over to her, causing her to nearly leap back away from his sudden advance on her.
"I mean no harm," he said dully as she forced herself to relax as much as she could while being so close to him, it wasn't exactly easy. "W-what is it?," Kagome stammered out as her instincts told her to move away but her body wouldn't comply.
"I was merely going to take a look at the wound to access how much longer it will take to heal completely," Sesshomaru said, stepping closer again but more slowly this time.
A blush crept up her face as she realized how foolish she had acted, stupid stupid stupid, he wasn't trying anything funny on you, she berated herself. Nodding to him in a silent comply she turned her back to him and loosened the yukata and pushed the fabric away from her back while clutching the front of it closed against her well developed chest. His fingers were feather light, barely touching her at all as he moved her long hair away from her back and stared intently at the bandage covering the wound, his clawed finger lightly pressed against the bandage and cut through it with ease, slowly he pulled the bandage away and tossed it aside.
Sharp golden eyes trailed along the wound, it was nearly healed now, the skin scabbed over the smooth fresh pink of new skin, leaning in he sniffed just to be sure it was clean. "It doesn't need to be bandaged anymore, it needs to air out," Sesshomaru simply pointed out. Kagome shivered as he spoke, his breath flowed onto the back of her neck causing her to blush again like a fool. With a curt nod he leaned away from her again and stepped back, giving her back her personal space. As Kagome tightened her yukata back up she could still feel the lingering touch even as she heard him walking back to the door once more, ready to leave she presumed.
"We leave in a week, your body will be healed by then," and with that the demon lord slid the door shut and was gone. Kagome didn't miss the fact he said "your body", he knew she was broken and only her body would heal. She didn't understand why that knowledge of him knowing bothered her so much, but maybe that was just his way of speaking- it didn't matter though she told herself, and she didn't dwell on it as she lowered herself to the futon and gladly sunk back into her stupor. The numbness was bliss at times like this, when she wasn't sleeping and the memories weren't coursing through her body, leaving nothing but a shell left in it's wake.
A/N: Well another chapter down, I'm kinda pleased with how this chapter came out yet worried at the same time. I wonder if I set Sesshomaru in OOCness, I won't lie it's been a while since I watched the anime so it is easier for me to portray characters more incorrectly than other writers. But guys if I mess him up you have to let me know what you think, Tell me if you think I messed up in this chapter or any others. Feedback is always important!
Glossary:
Jyaki: Demonic Aura
Shikon no Tama: Jewel of Four Souls (though willing to bet everyone knew this but had to add it as a precaution)
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