A/N: Slightly AU during the conversation between Chuck and Blair at the end of 4.09 – The Witches of Bushwick. What if that lovely C/B moment - 'if two people are meant to be together…" didn't quite turn out the way that it did? What if instead, Blair walked away? Set about five years into the future…give or take a couple of months. Also, the Juliet drugging Serena thing never happened. C/B.


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It had been entirely unfun explaining to her mother and her three fathers that the engagement was off. Their reactions had been varied, and expectedly unexpected. It wasn't what had been said, rather, who had been the one saying what. Blair hadn't quite known how to respond to their responses. After her pronouncement that Louis and her had agreed to part ways, it had been Eleanor who had broken the ice asking, You couldn't have decided before we paid for the engagement party? There had been about twenty million questions dancing in her eyes, but Eleanor opted to keep her mouth shut from voicing any of them at present.

Roman had draped himself over her, in his attempts to console. Harold had looked at her quizzically, What happened? Why now? She had seen the hint of What did you do? beneath the surface. Blair had to bite her tongue from snapping back I left him, not the other way around.

Cyrus was the one who had blindsided her with his response. Just as she had taken a deep breath and was about to give a condensed and acceptable explanation to her parents, Cyrus had interrupted her. Not enough, I say! You didn't love him enough to begin with. Have you told Chuck, yet?

The mention of Chuck had all three other parental figures dropping their jaws and looking over at her in shock. The cacophony of voices emphasizing the name Chuck Bass had Blair turning bright red. Before she could even answer, Cyrus had just barreled on about how he thought he had seen him at the engagement party last night, lurking in the shadows of the terrace. Had Blair finally realized that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Cyrus had hoped she would realize this before the wedding.

Instead of being met with more questions, her parents, all four of them, waited patiently for her to gather her wits and explain herself. They did not interrupt once, and when she was finished, they took turns hugging and kissing her and telling her that they just wanted her to be happy. There wasn't a hint of judgment or anger, and she couldn't help but get teary-eyed.

At some point, Eleanor must have waived her father figures out, or dispatched them on errands, because the two women were alone in the sitting room of the Rose apartment. Blair braced herself for a more stern discussion, as her mother patted the empty seat on the sofa next to her. She hesitated for a moment, before stretching out and resting her head on her mother's lap, as she often had done as a child. A smile crossed her face, when she felt her mother stroking her hair. She recalled how when she was younger, she would curl up next to Eleanor who would sketch and mumble while absently stroking Blair's hair with her left hand.

Finally Eleanor broke the comfortable silence, "Darling, you are certain about this decision, right?"

Blair sighed. "Mother, could we please skip the subtext today? Just ask me what it is you want to know, or say whatever it is you want to say."

"It's just the last time we talked about Chuck, do you remember what you said?"

Blair shook her head and closed her eyes.

"You said that every time you were around him, you felt like a weak little girl."

"I remember it now, the night of my 20th birthday party. You told me Cyrus had taught you that sometimes you have to allow yourself to be weak, to grow stronger," she said wryly.

"Then why do I feel like you haven't allowed yourself to be weak this entire time?"

Blair sat up and looked at her mother. She crossed her arms defensively, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Ever since you arrived in Paris for Thanksgiving that year, it's as though you have been running—hiding from who you were. Anne called me and told me what had happened with Girls Inc., and your involvement with Chuck. Then you suddenly appeared on our doorstep and have barely been back to New York since. I don't know how you got into Yale for the spring semester, or who pulled the strings, but it was almost as if the world was helping your run from yourself."

"Yale had always been a dream of mine," Blair said tightly. "There was no way I was going to turn it down. I was just fulfilling the goals I had set out for myself, I wasn't running away."

"Are you sure? I mean, Louis Grimaldi is nothing to sneeze at, but it seemed awfully convenient that you were aiming to relocate here. Except for quick jaunts into the city to visit Dorota and Anastasia, you act as though you were born a Parisian. And I hate to say this, but you've lost some of your spark. I was reminded of this for a brief hour last evening, when you were glowing and practically gliding around the party. I had hoped it was because you were finally happy. But Cyrus' revelation can only mean it had to do with Chuck?"

Blair frowned.

"I'm not criticizing you. Truthfully, I'm relieved. Deciding to end this engagement is probably the most 'Blair Waldorf' thing you've done in the past five years," Eleanor surmised.

She was stunned. Her mother couldn't possibly know what she had said to Chuck all those years ago. This whole time she had thought that being away from him would have made it easier to be herself. Blair must have given a spectacular performance, if she had even convinced herself that this version was real. If her mother had seen through this farce, than she had been playing the role of an imposter since the moment she walked away from him. A bittersweet smile crossed her face as she recalled words from a painful Paris memory, But it wouldn't be my world without you in it.

"Do you mean that? Why didn't you say anything?" Blair asked uncertainly.

"Because you were growing up and becoming an adult. There have been large chunks in your life that I was barely a mother to you, and I couldn't just pick that moment to make up for lost time. It's your life, Blair, it was your decision."

"But if you knew I was making the wrong choice—"

"This was your mistake to make," Eleanor smoothly interrupted. "You had to learn this, on your own."

"So when you asked if I was certain…?" she trailed off.

"I wanted to make sure that it wasn't an impulse from the shock of seeing Chuck."

Blair shook her head. "It only confirmed it. Ever since I said 'yes' to Louis, I have been second-guessing myself and was trying to come to terms that it wasn't Chuck who had asked. The little girl in me still wanted the fairy tale—that Chuck would come back and sweep me off my feet."

"Well, it looks like he did." Eleanor put an arm around her daughter. "And I think it would be wise for you to allow yourself to explore that option."

"Really?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, really," her mother smiled at her. "Follow your heart."

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As Blair walked onto the street from Cyrus and Eleanor's apartment, she debated her next move. The conversation with her mother had been invigorating. It was worth all the hardships of her adolescence—the intense scrutiny, veiled comments and even insecurity—to have this version of Eleanor now. Blair couldn't help but feel buoyed with confidence that she had made the right decision. She marveled at her mother's words, she had not felt so much like Blair Waldorf, in a very long time.

Now all she really wanted to do was to go find Chuck and ask him if he really still had feelings for her. She hummed the song as she dreamily remembered his surprise last night, and she couldn't help but think that there had to be a hidden message in it. He had come to her engagement party, hadn't he? There had to be more than just a morsel or two of leftover sentiment, there just had to be! But as much as she wanted to bury herself in rediscovering the landscape of emotions Chuck inspired, it would have to wait. It might be for the best if she waited until she returned to the UES before she tested out the waters.

Nate was supposed to meet her at one of the bars at the Ritz Paris in about an hour. She had wanted some alone time with him before they met Serena for dinner. The gulf that stretched between her and Serena over the years had not changed the fact that Blair had asked her to be her maid of honor. But somehow, after everything that had happened between her and Chuck, it had been Nate that had turned into her confidant and closest friend. She could feel the resentment in Serena's voice during the increasingly infrequent times they spoke on the phone. And she was already mentally bracing herself for the combination of anger and hurt that would be caused when Serena found out that she had told Nate first. Besides, it would be confirmed that the engagement had been called off, when they saw her finger ring-less and her fiancée-less.

Last night she had tried to leave her own engagement party to seek Chuck out—to ask why he had left her alone all these years only to make such a lovely and grand gesture now. When Nate and Serena had essentially blocked every attempt for her to exit, and Louis became overly attentive, the mounting guilt caused her to temporarily give up her quest. In truth, Blair knew she should make this decision before she spoke to Chuck. She was not ending this engagement for Chuck, despite the fact that it was prompted because of him.

As she entered the hotel, she debated which of the five bars she should wait at. She had always been partial to the Ritz Bar with the Victorian Era red velvet armchairs, box-beamed ceilings and crown moldings balanced by hints of modern touches. A Hendrick's gin martini would hit the spot while she waited for her two closest friends to arrive.

When she dropped into one of the plush chairs, a member of the staff quickly approached her and took her order. She had chosen a chair that faced the main entry so she could wave Nate over later. There was a large mirror hanging in front of her that reflected the rest of the room. She took a large sip of her martini that had been delivered when from the corner of her eye, she recognized a familiar face—perhaps her favorite familiar face. Her heart skipped a beat as she drank in the sight of Chuck aimlessly swirling his glass of scotch as he sat at the bar. This had to be fate. Blair's eyes darted to her own reflection, quickly checking to make sure she was presentable.

As she tucked an errant strand behind her ear and was about to stand up, she saw a woman approaching Chuck. She was a petite Asian woman, with very short-cropped black hair and perfect, almond shaped eyes. She wore a simple yet tasteful dress and nothing about her screamed 'hussy' or 'slut'. If anything, her beauty was incredibly understated. Blair froze as she watched the scene unfold—the woman placing her hands over Chuck's eyes.

"Did you miss me?" she said. Blair didn't even have to strain her ears to catch the words. Unconsciously she leaned back to get closer. With the bar half-empty, it made it easier for her to eavesdrop.

"Desperately," Chuck said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. She continued to watch them from the mirror, praying that the attentive staff would not choose now to come back over and check in with her.

Chuck removed the hands that covered his eyes, as he swiveled on his bar stool to face the woman. He all but flung himself into her arms, holding her tightly.

"How much did you miss me?" The stranger demanded.

Blair's heart was pounding so loudly she almost missed Chuck's answer.

"As far as the eye can see and back."

"I suppose that will do." The woman teased.

Blair stared as Chuck stood up and swung the woman around in a circle, her laughter dancing around the room. Blair was transfixed as Chuck gently set her down, and the woman brought a hand to his face, softly stroking it. She wished she could see Chuck's face, she wanted to study his reaction—to see if she could discern exactly who and what this woman was to him. Was he simply being charming or was she someone he was serious about? He had told her last night that he wasn't seeing anyone—not that it would have effected her decision to end things with Louis—but she had not expected this.

"Why don't we get out of here?" Blair heard her ask.

"What would I do without you?" Chuck said charmingly.

"Fortunately for you, you'll never have to find out. You're stuck with me, forever."

"Thank god!" Chuck said seriously. He reached into his pocket, and threw a few bills on the bar and then turned to the mystery lady. "Thank you for coming, I don't know what I would've done."

"Well…you have the rest of our lives to make it up to me," she answered lightly, as she held out her hand. He laced his fingers with hers, and they walked out of the bar towards the lobby. As the pair waited for the elevator, he snaked his arm around her, holding her close to him with such familiarity, that Blair felt nauseous. When they stepped into the empty car, the woman was pulling Chuck's head towards her, and Blair forced herself to look away before she could see anything more.

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tbc


A/N: Sorry to leave you with a cliffhanger, but that's how I roll.

OH, and oy vey! I hadn't expected the onslaught of hatred towards Louis…just goes to show that you can't predict other people's interpretations of your characterizations! Except for a reference here and there, he is gone. Just note that the only thing he did badly was the hiding of Chuck's presents, and that was out of fear of losing Blair, but I imagine he was the most boringly sweet boyfriend, ever. AND, Blair was already ending it, that's why he didn't fight back. I ramble.

To the fabulous, Noirreigne, who betas my work instead of doing better things with her time.

For my readers and reviewers, thank you, thank you! for continuing with me on this road of controlled chaos. Next update will be in a few days!