[A/N Booooring chapter. But it's the next-to-last chapter so enjoy!]

My humor wasn't improved, even when finally, gloriously alone in my hotel room. I lay on the hotel bed—minus the comforter, of course—staring up at the ceiling. I thought it would be more relaxing than this, but there was little to do in the hotel room. Sure, I could watch TV but what's the use in that? Everything on the telly has been trash ever since they switched to color.

I would do paperwork, but alas, I am already two months ahead of my work schedule and the ministry refuses to forward me anymore. Elizaveta must have been talking to them again. I adore the woman but she does have a tendency to be a little too involved in my emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Considering she divorced me and all. No, no I'm not bitter. Not at all.

I sat up and unzipped my suitcase. Knowing that I was coming on a trip I had bought three novels to read in my spare time. Scanning the summaries on the backs of the books, I was less than impressed. Now gripped in the throes of boredom, the selection in front of me hardly seemed an adequate diversion.

So what do responsible adult men do when they are bored, all alone in a hotel room? They shower, masturbate, or go mingle at the bar. I stared at my books a moment longer with a frown before getting up and grabbing my shoes.

XxXxX

"I'll have a…" I trailed off, at a loss. I'm not exactly what you would call a frequent drinker. "I'll have a glass of red wine."

"What kind? What year?" asked the bartender. I could tell he was less than impressed with my beverage prowess. Excuse me for not being a lush.

"Surprise me."

I leaned against the bar awkwardly as I waited for my drink. It was just before dinner so the hotel bar wasn't too full. I checked my watch. At seven I was to meet Feli, Ludwig, and Gilbert for dinner. Oh joy. As if spending two days in the car together wasn't enough quality time for us to divulge in. The bartender sat the drink down by my elbow. I muttered a thanks and handed him my room key so that he could charge it to my account. I sniffed the bouquet of the wine halfheartedly. I suppose I should take up wine drinking. It's a sophisticated man's game. But as I've said before, I'm not much of a drinker.

This was a bad idea, I thought, taking a seat at the bar. Drinking alone was just pathetic. Well, I'd already paid for this, might as well drink it. I got about half way through before I became disheartened. I understand wine, really I do. It's a fabulous drink with a lot of class and discretion but it's an acquired taste to say the least. Obviously I have yet to acquire it.

"What's the matter, someone spit in your drink?" I'll give you one guess as to who that was. The real question is whether or not he is stalking me.

"I'm afraid I don't have a taste for alcohol," I said, although I'm not sure why I felt I owed Gilbert any explanation at all.

"Then why are you drinking at all, Specks?"

The question made me bristle, perhaps a little more than it should have. My first instinct was to sneer at Gilbert, but I mustn't stoop to his level. "I wanted to relax after such a long car ride," I said, swirling my wine in the glass. Hold red wine by the body of the glass and white wine by the stem. Or is it red wine by the stem and white wine by the body?

"Hah," Gilbert said, "you just have to know what to drink. Here, I'll grab something." Is Gilbert really offering to buy me a drink? He moved down the bar towards the bartender before I could refuse his offer.

He came back to me holding a tall glass of what looked like Coke. "Here," Gilbert said triumphantly. "What is it," I was suspicious. I'm still undecided to if I'm going to take the glass.

"Just taste it," Gilbert said.

"No," I said slowly, as if explaining long division to a particularly dim student for the eight time. "Not until you tell me what it is."

"It's Dr. Pepper and Jagermeister," Gilbert said, rolling his eyes. "Trust me, you'll like it." I took the glass reluctantly. After all, there's probably no harm in trying it. And Gilbert couldn't have slipped anything into it; I watched him and the bartender the whole time. I took a small sip. Not bad, not bad. It's just soft drink with a pleasant minty after taste. I took a larger drink. Yes, quite pleasant actually.

"It's…. ok," I allowed. Gilbert smirked. I rolled my eyes. Give Gilbert an inch and he'll take a mile. That's why I never complement the smug bastard. That and the fact that I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of feeling any better about himself then he already does.

Gilbert snagged my forgotten wine glass and took a surprisingly dainty sip. He swirled the glass and smelled the bouquet. "Merlot?" he asked. "Hope you didn't pay too much for this wine. Not that great of a head on it."

I shrugged. Don't tell me Gilbert knows about wine? Well, I suppose it's not that surprising considering Francis is his best friend. And I'm sure Feliciano brings a lot of wine into the house. Still, it bothers me that Gilbert knows more about something than I do.

"Hey, take it easy on that Jager, specks."

I waved his concern away. The drink was going down smooth so obviously there couldn't be that much alcohol in it. Besides, we didn't have that much time before we should leave for dinner.

"Man, this conference is gonna suck balls," Gilbert commented. I ignored his foul mouth with a grimace. "I'm actually looking forward to it," I replied.

"Oh, of course you are," Gilbert rolled his eyes. "You and West get off to this type of stuff. Speaking of West, we should leave for dinner now." We left our empty glasses on the bar and walked out into the main hall. Just in time to meet Ludwig and Feliciano coming around the corner. Ludwig's eyes flickered from Gilbert, to me, to the closing door of the bar room, reading the situation more clearly than I would have liked. Still, to his credit, the man didn't say anything, only ever so noticeably raised an eyebrow before turning his attention to Feliciano. Well damn him and damn his nosiness. I'm an adult. I can do as I please, thank you very much.

XxXxX

Ludwig and I usually got along swimmingly. After all, we shared the same bureaucratic passion and love of order. This trip, however, has been taxing upon me. Feliciano is always talkative but over dinner all I wanted was silence, dammit. Is that too much to ask? Ludwig seems overly indulging towards the Italian. Annoyingly so, I thought as Ludwig allowed Feli to pick out the appetizer and the wine for the table. And Gilbert? Well, I'm always annoyed at Gilbert. I shrank back a little as Gilbert and Ludwig laughed at one of Feli's silly joke.

What is wrong with me, I wondered. I really am being cad but I can't help it. I'm just—just off-kilter. And I really don't know how to get on-kilter. If that's even a term. Huh.

I helped myself to a second glass of wine. The food here is quite good, I found with relief. At least this dinner wasn't a total waste. I let the other three carry the conversation without adding much. I'm in a snotty mood obviously and should be seen and not heard.

"You're not saying much, Roderich," Ludwig commented, as if he were in tune with my petulant musings. When I didn't respond right away he tryed to catch my eye with his. "Oh, I'm," I commented absentmindedly. I reached for the wine bottle for wont of a better way to occupy my hands. I accidentally bumped my water glass, sloshing the cold water onto the table cloth and causing the ice to clink and jitter loudly. Great. Just great. I'm really in fine form. I stood up quickly, meaning to grab a napkin and sop up the mess. Instead, I managed to bump the table harshly causing all of the glasses to rattle dangerously. Oh, great.

"Roderich," Ludwig said harshly, throwing his napkin down. "Are you drunk?"

"No, I only had this glass of wine," I gestured towards my glass helplessly.

"No, you had two with dinner," Feli commented, probably trying to be helpful.

"No, but that's it," I added, trying to get my two cents in.

"I saw you walking out of the bar with Gilbert. Are you trying to tell me you two were just walking through the garden," Ludwig barked, warming up his I-caught-you voice. The voice usually reserved for Gilbert's shenanigans. That was the thing about Ludwig. If he caught you in a lie, even a little one, he immediately assumed the defensive.

"Hey, hey," Gilbert cut in. "Let the man breath, Ludwig. So what if Specks has been hittin the bottle a little? No crime there. Jeeze. Not everyone is as big a hardass as you. Look, I'll take Roddy back up to his room and you and the squirt can enjoy the rest of your dinner in peace." Ludwig pressed his lips in a fine line but didn't protest. Gilbert was up and pulling me away. The room wasn't quite swimming, but it was shimmering a bit.

Gilbert pulled me along behind him too quickly. I had to lean heavily on his arm to avoid falling on my face. As soon as we were out of the dining room I pulled myself from his grip. "Slow down, dammit," I growled, rubbing my eyes.

"Damn, Specks. Don't tell me you're really drunk!"

"I'm not," I spat. "Just, just a little woozy in the head. I must have stood up too quickly. Then you go pulling me around like we're being chased."

"It's the Jager," Gilbert said wisely before moseying over to hit the elevator button. I rolled my eyes. Come on. It was one drink. "Why are you so grumpy anyways," Gilbert asked, hitting the elevator button again impatiently.

"I don't know. I'm just…. A little out of sorts lately," I confessed. Why was I telling Gilbert all of this again?

"Lately? As in the past day or two?" he asked innocently.

"Shut up," I scowled. Just then the elevator doors glided open smoothly. Gilbert literally pulled me into the elevator before I could change my mind.

"You're out of sorts because you secretly want to know what it's like," Gilbert said suddenly.

"Oh, not this horse pucky again," I said. I was starting to get angry. This same conversation from earlier? Haven't I made myself clear?

"Kiss me. Tell me you don't feel anything," Gilbert said. I don't think I've ever seen him this intent. He was holding my gaze with his own maroon eyes and I felt it a little disconcerting. That look…. Like he was hopeful, needy even, for me. For me.

"Why should I?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Look," he said, grimly while digging a coin out of his pocket. "You know what I want. Heads I win, tails you lose." I felt myself nodding. Why was I agreeing to go along with this crazy scheme? Could it be that I actually was curious? I-I think so. This is the only way I could let go, though. Chance. It was out of my hands. Even if I lost, it wasn't like I was consenting to this crazy venture so much as being a good sport and taking my punishment. It was the only way my pride would allow the possibility of kissing that man.

He flipped the coin in the air and caught it deftly, slapping it onto his other wrist. "Hey," I said sharply. "I'll check the coin." Gilbert laughed breezily at my mistrust and offered me his wrist, removing his other hand in the process. It was heads. "Heads I win," Gilbert said softly. To his credit there wasn't an ounce of gloating in his voice.

He didn't waste time drawing near me. Ok, so this wasn't the first time we will kiss. Gilbert kissed me just yesterday under much seedier circumstances. Still, I couldn't stop my heart from hammering in my chest. Gilbert waited until I could meet his gaze before closing the rest of the distance. Our lips met softly, more gentle than I would have credited this ruffian. I must be breathing so hard. All I could hear was my heartbeat rushing in my ears and my breath falling on Gilbert's cheek loudly. At some point my muscles in my legs and back must have weakened because I could feel myself pressed against Gilbert, bowing myself to him, submitting.

Gilbert's lips pulled away from mine softly. Our lips made that sensual kissing sound and I felt my heart skip a little. I didn't attempt to pull myself away from him right away and Gilbert took my lethargy for further consent. He kissed me again, in that same soft yet insisting way.

And I could imagine us doing this again. And again and again and again. My hands gripped his shirt forcefully, as if I were afraid to let go.

Ha. That's almost poetic.

Right now everything was screaming yes yes yes to me and yet I still hesitated. I longed to be with someone after so many years of being alone. To really be with someone. Not just for a moment, or for a night, but for time unknown. Was that person meant to be Gilbert? I could hardly give credit to the idea, but to be honest it was looking better and better by the moment.

But could I rely on him? That was what was really holding me back. Gilbert can be so fickle. His moods can run with the wind. And yet…. And yet there was another side to him, was there not? That dedicated military Prussian side that demanded respect and loyalty above all. Proud and yet dependable.

I wanted to bow to him yet I couldn't do it freely.

And yet…. I had the buds of a plan flowing through my mind.

"Gilbert," I said.

"Hmm?" he replied huskily.

"I think I want to try it. Try us. But I can't just magically trust you. I'm so afraid you're going to hurt me." It was hurting me right now, being this honest. But if I couldn't get this all on the table now it was never going to work between us.

"I won't," Gilbert replied. "Really, I do kinda care about you, Specks." He must have seen the look on my face because he back peddled quickly. "I mean, I do care about you, Roderich. A whole bunch." I didn't mistake his rough talk for indifference. I know how he puts on that tough exterior.

"Well, you'll have to prove it to me. If you'll do this one little thing I'll promise to trust you."

"What is it?" Gilbert said, perking up, grasping at this chance. "I'll do anything."

Oh, anything? I thought dryly. How heroic. Well, soon enough I'd find out if this was all just a game to him.

XxXxX

[Oooohhhh Lawdy. I'm so pumped to write the final chapter. You guys are going to like it. Bahahaha I'm all a-twitter at what's to come. But I won't let you guys in on the secret. Hey, I never claimed to be a nice kid, now did I?]