O_O dang! I didn't think so many people would like this story! *glomps everyone* I've been taking exams and essays for the past 2 weeks and it limited my writing time, and unfortunately tons of updates won't be coming until the end of May because I have a test that decides if I can take the last few classes I need and I have to have three teeth removed and it hurts!
Thank you to my lovely beta-reader Dream7!
"What the fuck!" Ichigo yelled, but he found himself ignored when Shirosaki began kissing his neck and Zangetsu's hands started wandering down his body. This was extremely wrong! Neither one of them had ever acted like this. Shirosaki was usually out to kill him and Zangetsu liked to lecture him to death.
His eyes widened when he realized the probable cause. It had never occurred to him that eating the treat of doom might affect his hollow and zanpakutou spirit. With a fierce kick he knocked Zangetsu away and punched Shirosaki in the face to free himself from their grasp.
Ichigo stood up as quickly as he could and took a step back. The lustful look on his hollow's face scared him more than the maniac grin he usually wore ever had. He glimpsed Zangetsu's black cloak out of the corner of his eye and shunpo'd away before he could get grabbed again.
"Snap out of it!" Ichigo yelled, but was caught by surprise when Shirosaki appeared in front of him and hugged him close to his body.
"You're our king; we're supposed to have affection for you," Shiro purred, holding Ichigo close while rubbing his hands down his king's back.
"Since when? All you do is try to kill me, and he always just lectures me!" Ichigo pointed out, and head butted his hollow when he felt the pale hands grab his ass.
"Ichigo," he heard Zangetsu say next him. He backed away from the older man. He desperately wanted to get out of his inner world and go find Urahara to kick his ass for giving him the potion.
"Get away!" Ichigo backed away from Zangetsu, but the older man continued to walk forward. His eyes were just as lustful as Shiro's behind the yellow sunglasses.
"I want to apologize for my behavior," Zangetsu stated, and Ichigo stopped for a moment to stare at him. Had his zanpakutou suddenly snapped out of the spell he'd been under? Whatever had happened, he'd have to take note of it and use it on Renji.
Zangetsu continued forward until he was standing in front of Ichigo with his head bowed. "I am sorry that after all this time I never taught you another technique to use in battle. I can teach you some other things…" Zangetsu ran his hands down Ichigo's arms and was about to lean forward when he was kicked from behind.
"He's mine!" Shirosaki yelled at Zangetsu, picking up his sword and moving in front of Ichigo. "I'm not sharing with you, ya old geezer!" he snarled at Zangetsu, but the sword in Shirosaki's hands disappeared and reappeared in the hand of his opponent.
"I have been training him longer than you, and we have had a bond since the first moment of his existence. You did not come until later," Zangetsu declared calmly, holding the sword in front of him as if daring Shirosaki to make a move.
"I'll have to make sure we get more alone time then," Shirosaki replied just as Ichigo felt himself being tugged back into the real world. Both hollow and zanpakutou saw the orange haired teen disappear, and Shirosaki growled in frustration. "This is your fault! I'm gonna take that pole ya sit on all day and shove it up your ass!" Shirosaki yelled as he raced at Zangetsu.
Ichigo opened his eyes with a sigh of relief and found Rukia's foot on his head again. He growled in frustration and pushed the short girl's foot off of his head. "I was wondering why you were sleeping in the hallway," she commented as he got to his feet.
"Do you have Renji tied up?" Ichigo asked her, and she nodded. "Okay, we're going to Urahara's." He walked back into his room and found Renji sleeping in the closet and Kon sitting on the bed. He walked over to the sleeping plushie and picked him up.
"Hey, I was trying to sleep!" Kon yelled and tried to claw at Ichigo's face, but Ichigo ignored the mod soul's protests and stuffed his fingers into Kon's mouth and dug around for the capsule. The mod soul made gagging noises until Ichigo found the pill and pulled it out of the stuffed animal's mouth.
Ichigo popped the pill into his mouth and entered his shinigami state while Kon fell back onto the bed and glared up at the teen. "Don't let anyone else in the house, and make sure he," Ichigo pointed to the sleeping Renji, "doesn't move from the closet!" He walked towards the window, ignoring Kon's protests.
"When did I start taking orders from him?" Kon glared at the window Ichigo had just exited and folded his arms over his chest. "I am a free spirit and do as I please." He turned his head away. If he wanted to go out and look for babes, he would do it when he wanted and not on the stupid orange haired vizard's terms. He looked out towards the window and was thinking of taking advantage of the time in Ichigo's body by hitting the town when he saw a bright light flash in the sky.
Across town, a light was heading for the ground. As soon as it hit, Captain Kenpachi appeared with his small lieutenant on his shoulder and began running down the street. "Which way?" he asked her, and Yachiru brought a finger to her lips and looked around.
"That way, Kenny!" Yachiru pointed to the left after a stop light, and Kenpachi grinned as he charged forward. He'd be the first to find Ichigo and make him his.
Urahara's Shop
Ichigo slammed open the door to Urahara's shop, ignoring the annoying red-haired kid who yelled at him and heading straight for the owner who was relaxing and fanning himself. "Ah, Kurosaki-kun, how are you this evening? I'm a bit surprised you're not busy." Urahara chuckled behind his fan until Ichigo grabbed him by the collar and glared at him fiercely.
"How do I get the potion to stop?" Ichigo demanded, his fingers clenching Urahara's shirt tightly. It cost him a great deal of effort to resist the urge to wipe that grin off the blond man's face.
"But I thought you were trying to get that special someone to love you. Is something wrong?" Urahara asked innocently, though he already knew what had been happening since Orihime had dropped off a plate of cookies earlier.
"He didn't eat the cookie the potion was mixed with, but a bunch of other people did!" Ichigo growled, trying to dispel thoughts of Renji, Shirosaki, and Zangetsu all lusting after him. His eyes narrowed when Urahara started laughing, and he had to smack the man on the side of the head to make him stop.
"Ow." Urahara held his head as Ichigo let him go, though the grin was still on his face. "You should have been more careful with the potion, Kurosaki-kun. As far as you know, who all has taken it?" he asked, sounding more serious this time.
"Renji and … I had to eat one to keep my father from eating one, and then my hollow and zanpakutou both tried to molest me," Ichigo revealed. He heard someone snickering behind him, and saw that it was Rukia. "It's not funny!" he growled at her.
"How did your father even get a cookie?" Rukia asked as she dried her tears, and Ichigo's face softened slightly in confusion.
"I don't know. Renji had them all, so I can't figure out how my family could have gotten any … unless..." Ichigo froze when he had a horrible thought. He had made them with Orihime. What if she'd kept some? "Damnit, I think Orihime has been passing them around town!" Ichigo shouted, grabbing his hair. That was the last thing he needed, for everyone in both town and Soul Society to start lusting after him. It wasn't fair; there was only one person in his heart, and that person didn't even care about him while a whole bunch of other people now wanted to get into his pants.
Urahara and Rukia started snickering again, and Ichigo had to resist the urge to beat them both down. "Tell me how to reverse it or I swear I will kick your ass!" Ichigo yelled at Urahara, who snapped his fan open again to hide his grin.
"There is one way to negate the potion's effects. It was designed to make a person fall head over heels for the person who had given it to them. They fall in love, but once they sleep together the potion wears off and the other person is free from the spell and left to decide whether they really want to be with the other or not," Urahara revealed, leaving Ichigo dumbstruck. So everyone who'd had the potion was trying to have sex with him? His face flushed at the thought, but he shook it off. This was worse than he'd thought. "I guess in your case, you'd have to sleep with the person who you desire the most in the world," he added, and Ichigo scowled.
"But he doesn't like me. In fact, he hates me," Ichigo grumbled. Rukia opened her mouth to say something, but hesitated and closed it again. She knew who he was talking about. It was obvious he liked her brother.
"Well good luck then Kurosaki-kun," Urahara laughed until Ichigo finally lost it and punched him.
"You piss me off," Ichigo grumbled. He could hear Zangetsu and Shirosaki fighting in his head, and it was beginning to give him a headache. With one last glare at the hat-and-clogged man, he left and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. Urahara held his nose and watched the teen leave. Perhaps if he'd been nicer he would have warned him, but he'd leave Ichigo to his fate and allow more scars to be inflicted on the vizard's young mind.
Ichigo fumed as he walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. Urahara always knew just what to do to piss him off. Not only had he given him the potion without warning him about what might happen, he'd laughed about it as if it were a joke. It was not funny that there were a bunch of horny men chasing after him, especially considering that he didn't even know who all had eaten the cookies!
He opened the door to the bathroom and stepped inside. He went over to the cabinet and was looking for some aspirin when he felt a hand on his arm and a head on his shoulder. "Let me help you with that, Ichigo," a voice purred into his ear. He turned around and his eyes widened when he came face to face with Yoruichi wearing nothing but a seductive smirk.
Meanwhile, Rukia sat with Urahara discussing the potion that Ichigo had baked into the cookies. It was rather amusing that a series of men were going to be chasing after him, but at the same time she knew how deeply Ichigo cared for her brother. She knew how cold her brother could be first hand, but after spending time with him during her recovery she'd learned more about him and why he was the way he was. She wanted to talk to Ichigo about it, but didn't want to violate her brother's trust by repeating what he'd told her in confidence.
"Is there a way to find out who's after him?" Rukia asked Urahara, taking a sip of tea. The shopkeeper simply smiled behind his fan.
"Well, the easiest way is probably to wait and see who makes a grab for him," Urahara sang, waving his fan.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The two heard someone screaming down the hallway and instantly knew it was Ichigo. Moments later, the teen emerged with a flushed and angry face and grabbed Rukia.
"We're leaving," Ichigo growled, pulling her away from her tea.
"What happened?" she asked, but his flush became even darker and he refused to answer.
Urahara snapped his fan shut and glanced at the door the two young shinigami had left through. He instantly knew what had happened. He knew he should have stopped Ichigo from going to the bathroom, but the kid was just so much fun to agitate.
"Aw, he left already?" Yoruichi said playfully as she emerged from the hallway wearing a robe. Urahara had told her of the potion Ichigo had taken to try to get the person he loved to love him back, and she just hadn't been able to resist the temptation to tease him once more. He was just too much fun, just like Byakuya when he was younger.
"Looks like it." Urahara grinned as Yoruichi sat down next to him and poured herself a cup of tea. "Orihime stopped by with a plate of cookies. I'm sure you know what they contain," he told her, and Yoruichi nodded as she leaned back.
"We should get rid of them. Ichigo is going to be stressed out enough with everyone chasing after him." Yoruichi snickered at the thought of the teen running down the street with a bunch of men chasing after him. She made a mental note to spy on him and take pictures for blackmail.
"Yes, technically we should, but where is the fun in that?" Urahara grinned and snapped his fan shut. "I think I know just the place to drop the cookies off."
Outside, Ichigo kept pulling Rukia until they were a good distance away from Urahara's shop. "Can you tell me what happened?" Rukia asked, but received no response beyond a low growl. She had a few ideas about what might have happened since he only got this flushed when someone tried to come on to him. "Who tried to molest you this time?" she asked him with a sigh, and Ichigo turned around and glared at her.
"Shut up! That is not what happened!" he yelled defensively. Rukia smirked with the knowledge that he was hiding something. Someone did try to come onto him.
"Very well. If you don't want to talk about it now, just remember that I'm here when you're ready." She could have sworn she heard him mutter 'bitch' under his breath, but she ignored it. She'd have to find Orihime and see if she could help the other girl 'spread the 'love.'
"Damnit, what the hell am I going to do? Am I supposed to knock out every person who tries to come on to me?" Ichigo whined, putting his hands behind his head and looking down miserably. He'd known it was a bad idea to trust Urahara, but Byakuya's rejection had stung and still stung. Now his fate mostly depended on Byakuya, who despised him.
"Ah, Kurosaki-san!" the two young shinigami heard behind them. They turned and saw Captain Ukitake approaching them with a large basket full of sweets and a pleasant smile across his face. "Just the person I was looking for!"
Rukia didn't know what to think. Sure, she didn't want to see Ichigo get ravaged (even if it was funny), but she couldn't let anything bad happen to her captain.
Las Noches
"Could you repeat that?" Aizen asked Ulquiorra. If the Espada had allowed an expression to cover his stoic face, it would have been one of embarrassment. He didn't want to have to repeat himself in front of all the other arrancar. He thought he heard Grimmjow snickering to his left. Worthless trash.
"A garganta opened and a plate of cookies appeared," Ulquiorra repeated. He could hear Nnoitra and Grimmjow laughing their weakling asses off.
"Perhaps this is their way of saying they give up," Gin suggested to Aizen. Aizen was having a hard time processing what he'd just heard. He'd fully expected a spy to sneak in or an army of shinigami to raid the sands of Hueco Mundo. He had not expected a plate of cookies.
"Grimmjow, please step forward," Aizen ordered. The snickering sixth espada groaned in irritation as he left his position and stood beside Ulquiorra with his hands in his pockets. "Take a cookie," he commanded. Grimmjow stared at the plate of cookies lying before the throne. It was a good test; if Grimmjow lived there was nothing wrong with the cookies and they could consider the possibility that Soul Society was surrendering; if not, Aizen was rid of an annoyance.
Grimmjow knew what his lord had in mind and mentally debated which was worse: death by cookie or by Aizen. Both were options he'd rather avoid, but when he felt his lord's reiatsu start to rise he grumbled and picked up a cookie. He hoped it wouldn't kill him or turn him into anything that would insult his image. He glared up at the lord of Hueco Mundo and wished he could flip him off without risking a swift and painful death. He took a bite out of the cookie and chewed it slowly as arrancar all around the room gazed upon him to see whether he would live or die.
Grimmjow swallowed and grimaced slightly in disgust. He'd had better food, but at least he was still breathing. "It appears they have no effect," Ulquiorra commented to his lord.
Aizen smiled down upon the group. "Very well then, you may all take one," he commanded. Gin instantly shunpo'd down before the throne and grabbed three cookies before returning to Aizen's side.
"Thought ya might like one since there weren't that many," Gin said as he handed Aizen a cookie. He offered one to Tousen, but the blind man refused. He said there was no honor in taking a cookie and headed off to train Wonderweiss. "His loss." Gin shrugged and bit into the cookie, as did several other arrancar and the lord of Hueco Mundo.
I don't really have an order of who comes after Ichigo next, I'm pretty much drawing randomly (except Kenpachi, he's gonna be lost for a little bit XD). If anyone has any requests of who they want to come next, more than welcome, though those from the Soul Society are limited since I think 8 cookies were taken there (Renji, Kenpachi, Shunsui, and Ukitake had one so 4 left) and I've added in those from Las Noches and Ichigo's school and probably some random people on the streets thanks to Orihime.
Hope ya enjoyed the chapter!!!
