All I have is one last chance
I won't turn my back on you
Take my hand, drag me down
If you fall then I will too
And I can't save what's left of you
Breaking Benjamin- Without You
Sigrun couldn't believe how stupid she had been.
Of course, she could see Loki.
Of course she could.
Had she not used her magic to find Loki on Midgard? Why not use it to visit him in the dungeons?
As suddenly as her heart rose with the possibility, it sunk like a stone. What if the guards saw her? They would surely go straight to Odin, and then there would be trouble. Biting her lip she thought about what her father would do if he found out, short of putting up wards around Loki's cell she could handle it.
Deciding it was worth the risk she marched directly to her chambers, closed the door behind her, closed her eyes, and began to focus.
She opened her eyes and found herself in a sparsely decorated room; a simple bed was against the wall opposite, along with a spindly legged desk (already precariously piled high with books and papers) and chair. Sigrun briefly wondered how Frigga had gotten all of these things to the cell when the flutter of a page to her right made her turn. Her eyes found Loki sitting cross-legged on the floor; book in hand, with the rest of the books she had brought spilling out of the sack on the floor beside him.
"Hi." She said meekly. Then immediately cursed herself, "Hi?" Really?
"I was wondering when you would remember." His eyes didn't move from the text.
"It did take longer than it should have." She admitted sheepishly.
A snort of laughter (was it laughter?) was the only reply she got as an awkward silence settled over them. With each flutter of a page she grew increasingly uneasy.
Finally, he snapped his book shut and placed it on the pile to his right.
"You aren't happy I am here?" She finally broke the silence.
"Of course I am."
"Then what?"
"I don't see the point. If I reach out and try to touch you…you will disappear." He shook his head sadly, "It's just hard is all. Of course, I'm happy."
"I wanted to see you."
"It's a waste of time, Sigrun." He sighed, moving in a quick fluid motion he stood, stretching a little.
"I don't see how it's a waste of time." She said stubbornly.
"It's a waste of your time; you should be living your life."
"What?"
"Sigrun, I am never going to get out of here as long as Odin and Thor have their way. I am locked up, for the next couple thousand years, there is no reason why you should be too."
"That's very noble of you." She scoffed.
"It's the truth."
Sigrun chewed on her lip, debating if she should tell him he wasn't the only one with this brilliant idea. She could see where her parents and Thor were coming from, but this was ridiculous.
"And what about us?"
"You know very well there hasn't been an "us" in a long time."
"And thanks to you for that!" Sigrun felt her temper soaring. "You never even thought about me for a moment when you got Thor banished and brought the Frost Giants here, and even less when you tried to take Midgard as your own. I don't appreciate everyone making my decisions for me! You know Odin and Frigga want me to move along too? They even offered to find me a suitor if I can't find someone myself." She thought her chest was going to explode as her rage roared inside her.
"Are you looking?" Loki asked. The words seemed painful.
"No, but maybe I should!"
"Don't…please." Loki crossed over to where she stood, and stopped short just before wrapping her arms around her, remembering she wasn't really there.
She could have sworn she felt his breath on her skin, she would have if they were actually together.
"Why not? Everyone else seems to think it's a good idea, you seem to think it's a good idea."
"You never did anything to deserve what you are going through, I thought if you found something…someone you would be okay."
"And how would I be okay?"
"I don't know," he admitted, "I just hoped you would be."
"I just miss you." She felt herself deflating.
"And I miss you."
"I don't know what to do. It was easier when I thought you were dead, I'm not sure how to go on about my life when you are right here." Sigrun wanted to press herself against his body, to have some kind of comfort that she hadn't had in what seemed like forever.
"I've seen you work out worse situations." He had a sad smile on his face.
You mean when I went against you on Earth, she thought, but she was too exhausted to argue anymore.
"Its getting late." Loki observed.
"I love you." She felt herself pulling away.
"And I love you too beautiful one." His voice was distant, and Loki began to fade.
"Of course, I don't have to tell you not to do anything stupid." Sigrun walked beside Thor and Company to the Bifrost. It was early, but it was time for them to head off for their first, in a long line of battles to restore what Loki had thrown into chaos.
Thor gave a hearty laugh, "You have nothing to worry about."
"Of course she doesn't! Not with us to do the heavy work!" Volstag called from behind them.
"His ego usually gets in the way anyway." Sif joked beside him.
A great number of Asgard's warriors marched behind them while their families lined the streets to send them off. The air was thick with excitement, even though many of them wouldn't return.
"I hope you are worrying about me too, Sigrun." Fandral's voice came from her left. She cast him a sidelong glance.
"What about whats-her-name... Freya? Won't see be up all hours just wondering where you are?" Sigrun's voice was dripping with sarcasm.
"Oh, I've decided to be looking for someone with more substance."
"Oh, please don't tell me you are thinking of settling down? I don't think the women of Asgard could handle it." She rolled her eyes so hard it made her head hurt.
"That maybe," Fandral agreed, somehow missing the sarcasm, "But that doesn't change the fact that I am looking for something more."
There was something in the way he looked at her that made her uneasy. Fandral was always a playboy, always bouncing from one bed to the next. The idea of him settling down was laughable.
"Sure, whatever you say." As she watched him fall back to walk beside Volstag.
"You should be nicer to him, he isn't a bad man." Thor glanced down at Sigrun.
"I'm sure he will get over it."
The warriors filed into the Bifrost observatory, Sigrun knew she had to leave but she felt panicked with Thor leaving.
"Ill come back if I can, to visit you know." He said pulling her into a bear-like hug.
"I know." She felt her eyes stinging and her throat constricting. How can everyone be leaving her?
Thor released her and Sigrun reluctantly stepped back and made her way back onto the bridge. Fandral caught her eye and bowed deeply. Sigrun hastily bowed back and ran out into the chilly morning air, just before Heimdal opened the Bifrost and the crowd inside vanished.
"Your brother will be back in no time. He is a skilled warrior, he will make short work of the task ahead." Odin called down the table where Sigrun was pushing her food around her plate. The sight of it made her sick.
She grunted a reply.
"I saw you speaking to Fandral in the procession." He continued, and Sigrun saw Frigga shoot him a glare that went unnoticed. "He is one of the best and would make a fine match for you."
"May I be excused?" Sigrun pushed her uneaten food away from her.
"Yes, of course." Her mother continued to glare at Odin. Sigrun stood and walked to the doorway
"If I were you, I would give this more consideration Sigrun." Her father's warning followed her to the door.
She stopped short and considered telling her exactly what she thought of Fandral and this whole situation but thought better of it, and stormed from the feast hall.
