Headaches became a very frequent occurrence for Tsuna, after learning who Hibari was, and learning that his dreams were actually memories. Some days, it was even hard to distinguish who he was. It was like living in a warm tank of water for a while and then being thrown into a cold one, while some warm water being thrown his way. But it didn't really help. He was still cold.
There were some days he would wake up completely disoriented, squinting around his room, wondering why it wasn't a small, messy apartment. He'd look at his hair and eyes and be startled when he didn't see blonde and blue back at him. There were times when he'd walk downstairs to see his mother, and be startled that there was an adult providing him with a breakfast that was more than just cup ramen, bread and milk.
In fact, there was even a moment where he came home from school, disoriented when she said, "Welcome home!" It was incredibly embarrassing, but he had actually broken down into sobs for at least a full minute. She didn't ask any questions, but she did hug him – the maternal affection felt so weird. He felt starved for it, even though he's had it for thirteen years.
It was tiring, some days he would even stop and have sudden flashbacks to his past. Then, he'd have to sit and try, in a haze, to sort it from his current memories. It was absolutely terrible – he didn't realize just how…lonely and tragic his life used to be. How had he kept smiling and making friends? How had he kept fighting? If he was like how he was now he would have given up a long time ago.
The worst, though, was suddenly getting those memories in class.
Like…for example…
He was sitting in probably one of the most boring classes – math. He's hated it for as long as he could remember (in both lives, at least what he could remember from his past life). Besides, the teacher was a bit of an ass and seemed to have it out for him. It was like he was hard wired to know when he's not listening. Or he had an alarm in his head to tell him exactly when he was starting to nod off.
Tsuna had to admit, he's skipped math quite a bit (usually he was caught and dragged back but, details) and he's had terrible grades (he's had terrible grades in every class but again, details) so that was probably the reason this particular teacher had it out for him…
So, like usual, his mind began to wander as his teacher rattled off numbers and equations and letters and things that he generally didn't want to think about. It felt like white noise was buzzing through his head before something…started to hum in his mind. The numbers became words and he was thrown into a different body, a different time and a different place.
It was cold, he was tired, covered in scratches and needles pierced through his skin. He could barely stand, barely even move. There were mirrors surrounding them – them? Yes, he was there, his rival, standing in front of him and-
No.
No no no no
NonononoNO
Words could barely leave his mouth as he caught the falling boy, who proceeded to whisper familiar words to him, moving his hand up towards him – a hand that went limp only a minute later.
He was dead.
He died to save him.
The enemy said pitying words as he hugged his rival, his friend. Rage filled him. Pure rage fueled his thoughts, fueled his body. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to hurt him as badly as this boy he cared for so much was hurt.
He wanted to kill.
It went red. So, so red it was almost all he could see. The mirrors were destroyed, and with every angry fiber in his being he lunged.
The vision began to dissipate and his vision went white before slowly he came back to his present. He blinked a few times, his vision still blurred but there were a couple people around him. He could make out Gokudera's worried face, practically hovering over him and protecting him with his body. Yamamoto was frowning, looking far more serious than he's seen him lately. There was talking, mostly people giggling and whispering.
"Tenth! Tenth you're ok…"
"Wha…?" His throat felt dry and he could barely speak.
"If Sawada is up, get him back in his seat so we can continue."
He had almost forgotten he was still in class…his body was shaking –with fear? Rage? He couldn't tell. His body and part of his mind was still in the memory, in that body full of darkness and rage and ready to kill.
Gokudera was glaring at their teacher, practically growling, "You asshole-!"
"Sensei, maybe it would be better if we take Tsuna to the nurse." Yamamoto interrupted, his voice as cheerful as usual though there was a light edge to it.
"…fine."
"Tenth, can you stand?" Gokudera immediately asked.
He tried, but he was still shaking. His mind told him he should be exhausted while his body was fine. Hesitantly, he shook his head.
Almost immediately, Gokudera picked him up and walked out of class, Yamamoto not far behind.
"So, what happened?" Yamamoto asked worriedly as they walked off.
"…I don't know…what did you guys see?" He asked hesitantly, unsure what to tell them.
"…it was scary." Gokudera muttered. "You just…collapsed suddenly. You started crying and shaking violently and muttering things."
"H-How long was I like that?"
"Only about a minute." Yamamoto assured him.
"So what was that all about?! We were worried you were dying or something!"
"I…guess I fell asleep and um…started having a nightmare?" It was a lame excuse, but it was all he could think of. How could he tell his friends that he collapsed because he had been thrown into a terrifying flashback?
…god what a horrible flashback it was. He hasn't gotten something that terrifying yet, but it was just his luck that it was in the middle of class.
Not to mention him.
Oh god, Hibari.
Tsuna clutched his chest as he felt it tighten and his breath quicken, his heart beat faster. He could hear Gokudera call his nickname in worry but he ignored him.
He needed to see Hibari.
He needed to touch him and hear him speak. His body and mind was so sure that he had left him dead on a cold, wet ground after just saving his life. But the other part of his brain knew Hibari was somewhere in the building.
As his mind focused a little, he realized they had arrived at the nurse's office. No one was there, and Gokudera gently placed him down on one of the beds.
"Will you be ok?" Yamamoto asked?
"…yeah." He answered timidly. "You two should head back to class."
"But Tenth, what if-"
"I won't er…fall asleep." He quickly assured Gokudera, who frowned. He was never good at persuading people, but he didn't really want to explain that he needed to see Hibari. "But sensei will be mad if you two stay here too long."
"Yeah, let's go Gokudera! He'll be fine."
Gokudera scowled, cursing Yamamoto out as they both left.
Tsuna felt his heartbeat in his ears as he stared down at the sheets of the bed. He waited until the footsteps died down before he swung his legs down to the floor and shakily stood up.
Where was Hibari right now?
He slowly walked over to the door, just reaching out when it suddenly opened. He let out a yelp, backing up. He looked up and familiar dark eyes looked back down at him.
"I heard you collapsed in class." Hibari let himself in, sitting at one of the beds closer to the door. "What happened?"
Silently, Tsuna shuffled over to the taller boy and sat next to him as close as possible. When he didn't move away, he leaned on him and muttered, "…a memory. I zoned out and got a flashback in class."
"…which one?"
"Land of Waves." The words came easily to him, it connected in his head but at the same time it didn't. He curled up, pulling his knees to his chest. "I saw you die." He muttered. "The masked boy killed you, b-but the attack was meant for me and I-I was so angry I just-"
"Tsuna."
Hibari's hands were on his face, making him turn to him. His vision was blurred – when had he started crying? His expression seemed passive, but Tsuna could tell the softness in it.
"Listen to me…I didn't die that day. Try to remember."
It was hard to, the vision of him, in his arms, whispering how he meant to live but he gave up his life for him was burned behind his eyes.
"Try to remember." Hibari's voice was soft and low, far different from the usual blunt coldness. "Remember me standing up, and waving at you."
He could remember the anger, he could remember the masked boy, who was really a pretty but sad boy, begging him to kill him…
"I lived Tsuna. I lived and you saw me live."
He could see the boy suddenly vanishing, giving up his life for the man who practically raised him. He could remember all the blood – the air was damp with it.
"Tsuna…remember."
"I-I…" He struggled, it was too much and his head felt ready to explode. There was fighting. There was a crowd, but, memory which was starting to blur…he saw him. Standing there. He had waved at him…
Relief and joy burst through his body and he reached out, burying his face in Hibari's chest as tears poured down his face, soaking the boy's shirt.
"Y-You lived…" He muttered, his voice choked in a sob. "You…you asshole why did you do that?" He could feel his past come back, fueling his words. "What were you thinking?"
"Didn't I tell you? I wasn't thinking. My body just moved on its own." He was rubbing his back, Tsuna could tell the other was shaking his head. "That was so long ago, Tsuna."
"I'm just fully getting everything," He muttered back. "I thought they were dreams."
"You're an idiot." He wasn't sure if it was affectionate or not, but Tsuna barely cared. It felt familiar, and that's all that really mattered.
He sniffled and pulled away, face hot as he realized he was practically hugging Hibari for a good minute.
"Better now?"
Tsuna nodded, avoiding his eyes. "Yeah…Hibari?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you…ever reacted like that…to a memory?" He glanced up, Hibari's eyes were cold.
"Once." There was a look in his eyes saying he rather not talk about it, so Tsuna didn't ask. Though…he couldn't help but be curious…
What kind of memory did Hibari see in the past…?
