I woke after sunrise, momentarily wondering where I was that I couldn't feel Phineas or Ferb nearby. Finding myself in Heinz's arms brought it all back in a rush. I carefully got up and tucked a pillow under his arm. He sighed happily and snuggled it, then fell back into the deep sleep he so badly needed.

I paused in front of the mirror a few minutes to reacquaint myself with this new body. It moved well, and I decided that if I needed to be human this was a good body to be in. It could have been male, but that would have been quibbling on my part.

I knew more about Heinz than he thought I did, including his occasional bisexuality. If he'd wanted me as simply a lover and companion he could just as well have turned my platypus body into a young man. It was well within his capabilities.

This particular female body had been created mainly as a mother for his wished-for children. The empty vessel should have been filled with a personality more congenial to his than mine, except that he'd specifically wanted me in it. I wondered whether his masochism in that regard was conscious or simply learned behavior. Likely the latter.

I padded to the kitchen, made myself a sandwich and coffee, then picked things up as I ate. I put my lace shorts back on but exchanged the nightie for his turtleneck. It was long enough that it served me as a mini dress. The rest of our clothes I tossed into the washer.

The mainframe was still working on Heinz's simulations so I picked up the netbook and logged into my email via the web browser. My inbox was loaded. I had barely started cleaning it out when an instant message popped up. It was Carl.

Dr Coconut: Agent P? that u?

PlatyPower: hey Carl. wassup?

Dr Coconut: MM's freaking out! U nevr reported back after yday's mission & Ur watch isnt wrkg.

PlatyPower: weird. might b what hapnd yday. Doof scanned my brainz. mayb watch got fried?

Dr Coconut: ONOES! did he get N-E info on OWCA?

PlatyPower: nope. PLEEZ dont tell MM, but... its cuz he was makg himself a girlfriend. shes HAWT. ;-)

Dr Coconut: aw MAN! I wish he'd make me 1. So Y he scan ur brainz... OMG. R U...? :-O

PlatyPower: yeah, this is the copy. Being a girl feels weird... but its fun, 2. :")

Dr Coconut: ? fun? u mean... OMGWTFBBQ u DID IT w/ Doof? :-O

PlatyPower: well :"S yeah. PLEEZ dont tell MM! he might try 2 kill Heinz :'(

Dr Coconut: ok, wont tell. _ um... _

PlatyPower: SAY IT!

Dr Coconut: :"S did u... like it?

PlatyPower: OMG YES!1!

Dr Coconut: YAY! :-))) r u gonna gimme all teh kinky detailz? :-)~

PlatyPower: later, if ur REAL gud. I need a favor. Send a spot check on me at my house. Weird that I didnt report. or HE. U kno wat I mean!

Dr Coconut: 1 spot check comg up!

I kept on cleaning out my email. I made myself read every single one, even the spam, to kill time. There was something nagging me just under the surface and I couldn't put my finger on it.

The IM chimed again.

Dr Coconut: Agent P, we have a situation.

The phrasing worried me. When Carl IMs in grammatically correct sentences something's up.

PlatyPower: What's wrong?

Dr Coconut: Agent Pinky says she spoke to Perry the Platypus and he just made that chattering noise at her. A meaningless noise. She was wearing her secret agent hat too.

PlatyPower: Is she sure?

Dr Coconut: Yes. She's bringing him in for a checkup. Says he's been pretty unresponsive except for treats and petting.

That worried me even more. I'd never deliberately ignore a fellow Agent.

PlatyPower: Do you have any idea of what's wrong?

Dr Coconut: I have a thought. I'm emailing you a file, it's pretty large. Have Dr. D. look it over, he probably knows more about this kind of thing than I do, but... if I'm right, you may never go back to being a platypus.

PlatyPower: Heinz told me the same thing, but I'm a COPY. Original me is supposed to be on the way with Agent Pinky.

Dr Coconut: Maybe. Have him read it and send a reply with his counter-work.

PlatyPower: I'll get him now.

I woke Heinz by yanking the covers off of him. The force of my pull landed him halfway on the floor.

"HEY! What was that for?"

"I was just IMing with Carl. He's sent me a file for you to look at. Do you want the netbook or hard copy?"

"Both." He picked himself up, modestly wrapping the sheet around himself. I found that strangely adorable. "That was a really rude awakening, you know. I was sleeping so well, too." He blinked when he saw it was well past ten. "Is that the time?"

"Unless you didn't change the clock when Daylight Savings switched over, yes."

"Wow. I slept over eight hours! I can't remember the last time I got that much uninterrupted sleep."

"Good for you. I made coffee."

"Wonderful. Now what's this file about?"

I explained what Carl had told me about my original self being unresponsive.

Heinz looked thoughtful. "I see... print me a copy while I get dressed, sweetie? Thanks"

I complied then went to throw the washed clothes into the dryer. When I got back the printout was done and Heinz was leafing through it.

"Got you breakfast." I set down a plate of toast, jam and cheese along with his coffee.

He looked at me over his reading glasses and smiled. "Thank you Perry. Have you ever read this?"

"Nope. Too much technical stuff. Give it to me in words I can understand."

"For starters, your pal Dr. Coconut violated probably a dozen regulations by sending you this, and you violated a few dozen others by printing it and letting me read it" He grinned. "I think he deserves a nude photo of you as a reward, am I right?"

"Yeah but then I'd have to share you with him."

"Don't harsh my mellow. I'm not interested in Monobrow's leftovers." He stuffed a large piece of jam-coated toast in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully as he flipped some pages. "Well, this here is highly classified information, but nothing I didn't already suspect. You're aware that OWCA agents aren't just ordinary animals, right?"

"No kidding."

"I'm being serious here. Just from skimming this, it seems ninety-seven percent of animals tested for recruitment fail the first of four rounds of tests. Of the remainder only a third make it to Agent status. Congratulations, by the way."

"On what?"

"On getting promoted to Special Agent." He looked miffed. "I wish you'd told me."

"What?" I felt like I had been blindsided. "When?"

"Your personnel file is in here. You got the promotion two weeks ago... and from the look on your face Monobrow didn't tell you. I'll bet you haven't seen the pay raise either. Typical."

Monogram was known throughout the Agency for screwing his agents over, but to keep that promotion from me was crossing the line. I found myself gritting my teeth and twisting the tea towel in my hands into a thick garrote. "That toupee-wearing bastard..."

Heinz perked up at that. "Francis wears a rug?" The gleam in his eye said he'd be using that information in the evilest way possible.

"He's as bald as an egg, and the mustache is fake, too. Forget that for now. What about me? Or the original me, whatever."

"The basic criterion for becoming an Agent is surviving brain surgery." That made me forget everything else and I listened carefully as Heinz went on. "They're implanting high-capacity microcomputers in the animals' heads. Two out of three don't make it. They ether die on the table or rejection of the implant kills them."

"Good God."

"The survivors are then placed in pet stores, zoos and wildlife rehab centers until they're officially 'recruited' by the Agency. There's a 100% recruitment rate of course. The implants are programmed to respond to certain code words. How old were you when they came to you?"

I closed my eyes and thought back to the first time I met another Agent. "I couldn't have been more than a year old. I was already with my family then... their dog was an Agent, too. Bucky was the one who brought me to Monogram. He was sent to Old Man Simmons' farm a few months later because he was... sick."

Heinz just looked at me. The realization hit me.

"His implant failed, didn't it. It must have, he was acting really weird the last few weeks... oh fuck. Is that what you and Carl are thinking? That my... Agent P's implant failed?"

"That's our guess, yes. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

The sincerity in his tone made me hate him for a moment. Gloating I could have dealt with, it was part of our normal relationship.

I had tossed that normality out the window last night. I had become his lover, of my own free will. Everything between us had changed.

I realized I had changed, too. Before now I would never even have considered letting Heinz see declassified OWCA files, much less tell him about something as personal as Francis Monogram's hairlessness.

I started questioning myself as to where my loyalties lay.