It seemed an eternity before Dean was finally still. The occasional wave of grief still went through him, but his mind was mostly calm. He felt suspended in space and time, not entirely sure he even existed anymore.
"Dean." Jo's voice floated into his consciousness. She sounded so close, so real, he must really be wrecked to be hallucinating. "Hey." A shove to his shoulder brought his eyes instantly open. Jo was sitting next to him, her beautiful face looking at him with a slightly questioning expression.
"Am I dead?" He asked confused.
"No dumb –ass, you're dreaming."
"So you're not real then. Good."
"Oh I'm real alright." Jo flashed a brilliant smile at him. "I'm here to haunt your ass."
"What?" Dean asked in alarm. "Jo, you can't! You have to cross over! Otherwise you'll be stuck here forever and you'll become a pissed off spirit and I'll have to hunt you and..." He trailed off as Jo started laughing at him. "What's so funny?"
"I'm not going to become a pissed off spirit, Dean. I did cross over, they sent me back, to you."
"What? Who sent you back?" He was getting more confused as the conversation went on. "And why?" Jo shrugged looking upwards.
"Them. The angels. They need you Dean, and you're no good to them in the state you are in. They sent me back to try and get your head back in the game." She paused and looked away from him. "They want me to convince you to say 'Yes', but if you do, I really will haunt you angry spirit style." He smiled a little, she was still as defiant as ever.
"If you're not going to do what they want, why are you here?"
She looked back at him, eyes filled with compassion. "You can't keep going the way you are Dean, keeping everything in, blaming yourself for what happened. It will kill you. You need to move on, to keep fighting and stop those sons of bitches."
"How am I supposed to keep fighting? I can't lose anyone else."
"You'll lose everyone if you don't." She paused briefly, surveying Dean. "It wasn't your fault you know, us dying."
"But I could have stopped it, I should have protected you."
Jo shook her head. "We chose this, Dean. I chose to protect you and Mom chose to stay with me. We did it for you, so you can keep fighting. I did it, because I love you."
"Jo." He started to speak but the words caught in his throat. He was crying again but he didn't care. She reached up and wiped the tears from his cheek, resting her hand against his skin. He closed his eyes savouring the touch he had longed for. "I'm so sorry, Jo." She shushed him, pulling him gently to rest his head on her shoulder.
"I know, but there is nothing to be sorry for. I would do it again if I was given the choice, because you can stop this. It won't be easy. It'll almost be apocalyptic," Dean chuckled. "But I know you can stop them. You and Sam, you'll take them down, you always do. If not for yourself, do it for me, so my life – death – was worth something." They sat in silence, Dean resting his head on Jo's shoulder as she stroked his hair. After sometime Dean whispered "Don't leave me."
"I won't. I just found you, I'm not going to lose you again."
As they sat Dean started to feel a warmth and peace he hadn't felt for a long time, maybe had never felt. He still hurt, but having Jo near him, even in spirit, it was bearable. "Jo?" Dean mumbled on the edge of sleep.
"Yeah?"
"I love you too." She smiled and kissed the top of his head, holding him close as he drifted into unconsciousness.
