"The deranged puffin?" Kowalski asked.
"That's the one. Before Hans and I were nemesis we were... best friends."
A little time passed as each penguin took this in.
"He was assigned the same team as Johnson, Manfreddi, and I. He got a pass to visit his sister back in America, but returned late and was charged with desertion. Johnson and I were charged with aiding a desserte since we knew where he was and wouldn't tell. It turns out his sister died, but that didn't matter he'd still deserted and we'd still helped. Manfreddi stayed on the straight for a while then joined us on a mission to evade capture and leave Denmark, Manfredii, Johnson, Hans and I stayed in the Amazon for a while. Then Hans went insane and killed Manfreddi and Johnson with a-."
"Please. Spare the gory details." Private shrunk back. He started quivering as Skipper glared at him. "I-i'm sorry Skippah."
"No I'm the one who should apologize it's just that remembering how your best friends died is no normal walk in the park. It's like a walk in the park with Marlene. Or a walk in the park with a rabid hell bent chihuahua with an overactive imagination." Skipper shuddered. "Crazy chihuahua..."
"Ok...so what happend next? What exactlly did Hans do?" Kowalski asked.
"Wasen't just Hans. Believe it or not those boy's had a long list of enamys. Their were so many people involved and so many devious plans that came together." Skipper shuddered again. "We buried what was left of them with a teaspoon. Lets say they met a gruesome end and end it there. Well after Manfredi and Johnson ... re-...In-... checked out Hans decided to come after me. Get me out of the picture but I eluded him. I had just been able to clear my name with the Danish feds Then he set up a 'friendly fireing' accident. He bribed a solider into shooting a general on the battle feild with my gun, but the shot was non-lethal. The solider cracked under interrogation and Hans was caught red winged. He lost his rank and his credability. And he blamed it all on me."
"And that got you kicked out of Denmark?"
"No. To get even he set me up. With the Generals daughter. Trinity. I think Hans knew Trinity and I would never work out. And I geuss he knew it wouln't end well. She was a spoiled girl and no was not an answer she'd except. When things didn't end well she went crying to daddy. When he couln't do anything- as I had done nothing wrong, she teamed up with Hans and they made a fake alibi against me. The charges... were attempted assault and sexual harassment. The General sent a batillion after me. I had to leave the my troop. Shipped myself to Alborg the Hoboken of Denmark. They had thirty females! Only ten guys and thats including Manfredi, Johnson, and I! Well what was left of Manfreddi and Johnson... A week later Hans had found where I'd shipped myself and he sent himself too. Rather than outright attack me he spread the 'assulted Generals daughter story' and again I had to move."
"Wow. How'd you keep geting away?"
"I had Manfredi and Johnson to back me up a hundred fifty percent."
"Thats not actually possible."
"Only someone who hasen't met them would say that. The next zoo we got to was Randers. They had disproportinate male to female accomidations too but they had a breeding program. A very sucsessfull one at that. The only problem was the zoo would seperate the chicks from their mothers too soon and some chicks were lost. I know in the wild chick sitting is a daddy day care but the zoo set things up that way because a few years back, they did give the eggs to the males, but whenever they tried to take the chicks all the guys would attack the keepers. That didn't fly as humans don't like complicated senarios. So to help the chicks and the mothers who kept loesing them. Me and a female, Rita. Started switching places during the day. So whenever the zoo keepers came I'd rally the girls and we'd attack the keepers. Things didn't go as planned. The humans ended the breeding program and removed the remaining chicks even the new hatchlings!" He shook his head and sighed. "The females mourned incessiantly for their lost cicks. Then they found out Rita was pregnant. They. Swarmed. Her. Would not let her out of their sight. Rita couln't take it. She ran off and ended up mid-labor at the steps of the Copenhagen zoo. I was blamed for both her pregnancy, and her running away. Nothing I said or did was considered in the trial. So that night before my exicution Manfredi, Johnson, and I made a run for it. Made it to Lolland before the humans caught us. Shipped us off to the Lolland zoo. We were invisible for a while. One day a shipment from the Copenhagen zoo came in. Three females. Two that knew me and one that-."
Marlene appeared and all the penguins hopped into fighting stances. Marlene was unfazed.
"Hey guys!"
"Fish and chips Marlene! Don't just barge in on us like this!"
"So what are you guys up too?"
"Well Skipper was just-" Three flippers made contact with the back of his head "Ouch."
"Classified."
"Right... so anyway King Julien day is comeing up and Maurice is-."
"Franticly prepareing a last minute party." Kowalski injected.
"Yeah that I was hopeing you guys could calm him down cause he's kinda-."
Rico twirled his flipper around his earhole and whistled the loony whistle.
"Exactually. So can you guys handle it?"
"How bad is it this time?"
"I think you guys would call this deaf leprecon one."
"You mean 'defcon'?" Kowalski inquired.
"Yeah sure. Come stop him!" She climed the ladder and exited the hatch.
"Alright men exicute mission: Sane Lemur!"
"Aww can't it wait till after the story?"
"Negitive. Now move move move!"
