A/N: (Insert lame 'here's chapter 3' message here)
After I finished the last chapter, I noticed a couple things were a little vague, and could have been interpreted a number of ways. Therefore, I'll clear them up right now.
First off, at the very end, Tara's behavior could have been interpreted in two ways:
Willow never cast any spell
Willow did cast the spell
In fact, though, the second is correct. That will become a pretty large plot line in this chapter.
Secondly, the other Willow's disappearance had really no explanation attached to it. In fact, she did just disappear from time, if you will. The best explanation I can come up with beyond that is that when the spell ended, it ended up killing the older Willow.
On a different note, there might be some B/S interaction in the next few chapters, and perhaps beyond, so proceed at your own risk.
Now, with that out of the way, you're now ready to go on and read chapter 3. Enjoy!
Spoilers: Nothing really. As I've already done it, I'm not making another musical rip-off, so it's completely different.
Disclaimer: I don't think Joss et al. is dumb enough to waste his time on some lowly creature having fun with his world that he so obviously messed up, so I'm not going to say anything to save me from that. However, because I respect the owners of the site, I'd just like to mention that I got a lot of the information for my stories from . Thank you guys for your wonderful transcripts, even if the fight descriptions suck! :)
Additional Disclaimer: An added 'thank you' to 'willowbabe' for helping me write this chapter. I swear, I ran out of a lot of ideas after the 2nd scene, so I must thank her for the assistance in the following few scenes. I came up with the ending all on my own, though (I'm so proud!)
Legend: There might be a few Tara and Willow thoughts. As always, they'll appear in italics.
Flashback
By: David Armstrong AKA Leafsdude
Chapter 3: Falling Apart
It was weird.
Well, now, there's a wild, dangerous understatement, Tara thought, still staring, mostly in shock towards the bedroom door.
She was very confused. Just a couple of hours ago, they were sharing chaste kisses and talking about 'turning each other on' in the Bronze. Suddenly she felt something very warm down there. Well, she can certainly do that without even trying, she thought, smiling.
Quickly, she turned serious again. What had happened? Did she perhaps miss something?
She thought back to a few weeks ago. She remembered there was a presence in the house that had the ability to possess them. But then again, she didn't seem possessed. And it didn't seem to want to make the possessed person run away before. Besides, we cast it out…Or, well, she cast it out, Tara thought, recalling the events.
She then remembered even further back, about two or three years before, when spirits took over the Lowell house. But the house doesn't feel possessed, Tara thought after focusing on the walls for a moment.
Suddenly, she was shocked out of her thoughts as the hallway light came on, flooding the area in front of her with a strong light.
Hopefully, she walked towards the door, wondering if she'd find a confused Willow walking up, wondering how she'd gotten down there in the first place.
Looking down the stairs, Tara saw no one, and once again started to get confused. Perhaps something's found its way here, and has decided to haunt us, and possessed Willow, and turned on…
Tara's thoughts were cut off, as she screeched when a hand landed on her shoulder. Looking over, she met Buffy's face.
"Oh, uh, Buffy. Hi, um, w-what are you doing up?" Tara asked, a little confused, not to mention out of breath. Perhaps Willow and she had been a little loud in there, and Buffy had grown a little agitated. Thinking back, though, Tara couldn't remember Willow ever even getting into bed, let alone them doing anything that could be classified as 'loud'.
"I-I heard the, um, front door open and close. I was going to, well, check it out," Buffy replied, a little nervous.
"The door opened?" Tara asked, confused. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts the past couple of minutes that she must have missed it.
"Yeah. Didn't you hear it?" Buffy asked. "M-maybe I just imagined it."
"I d-don't know," Tara replied, thinking. Sure, she could have been possessed, but if Willow wasn't, then it certainly could have been her going out. And, Tara thought, that would be a bad thing.
Suddenly, Buffy looked over Tara's shoulder, giving the biggest grin Tara had seen since, well, before her mother died, at least.
"Hey, Willow! If you're naked, I don't care. Get out here," Buffy shouted towards the room. "I've seen you too many times to count, and Dawn's still sleeping...Well, maybe not anymore But, I may need your help."
It took a moment for Tara to reply, not only because Buffy's outburst had caught her off-guard, but also because the sheer volume of Buffy's voice had her ears ringing.
"Uh, she's not in there. And, she'd not naked," Tara replied. Involuntarily, she got a picture in her mind that caused the warmth to return. Stop that! She shouted at herself mentally.
"She's not?" Buffy asked, confused. Since she'd been back, she'd rarely seen the two separated. Perhaps she missed something.
"No. She, um, ran out," Tara replied, returning to her thoughts. "I've been thinking possession, but so far, that hasn't added up."
"You've looked downstairs, right?" Buffy asked, almost jokingly.
Looking up, Tara sent a short glare the slayer's way. Another day or time, and she might have been laughing, but not today.
"No," Tara said, making it sound as though it was pretty obvious she hadn't. Turning, she made her way downstairs.
"Willow?" She said as she reached the bottom. She was expecting to find a number of things. Willow curled up on the couch, Willow getting a glass of juice from the kitchen, even Willow hiding in the closet, ready to leap out to scare the wits out of her.
"I told her I'd never fall for that again," Tara whispered to herself as she closed the door again.
"She's not here," she said a little louder towards Buffy.
Not getting a reply, she went back to where she'd left Buffy near the stairs to the basement. She'd grown a little impatient after waiting a moment while Buffy seemed to be contemplating something.
Now, as she reached the spot, upon which the slayer was no longer standing on, she heard some rustling coming from the basement.
"Buffy, are you okay down there?" Tara shouted down.
"Yeah, just fine," Buffy replied, grunting as she reached the bottom of the stairs and started her way upward. Very quickly, Tara recognized the features of Spike in behind her.
"Here's our culprit. He opened the door," Buffy spelt out when she reached the top step. "And might I say, thank you very much. I was having such a good dream…" Buffy trailed off.
"What?" Spike shot back, catching the glares. "I was getting some things for my crypt."
"So you came here?" Buffy asked, annoyed. "And my stuff is not for sale."
"What, you think I came here to buy stuff off you like I'm at an afternoon garage sale?" Spike replied, disbelieving. "I steal things. I'm evil, remember? Or do I have to put a name tag that says 'I'm evil' on my jacket?"
Looking up at him, Buffy seemed to contemplate that. "Might actually be a good idea. I'll keep it in mind."
"Just remember, slayer, I'm not helping you lot because I like you," Spike replied, indignantly, "I'm helping you out so Nibblet is safe, and because I have nothing better to do."
Huffing, Spike walked past Tara and Buffy towards the door. Opening it, he paused for a second, before turning back.
"Wait a minute," he said, a little indignantly. "I've been down there since before Giles left. I'm not your culprit."
With that, he headed out the door without as much as a wave.
"Well, that was weird and annoying," Buffy said after a few moments. "Not to mention a complete and utter waste."
Expecting a similar comment from Tara, Buffy looked towards her. When her eyes fell on an empty space, she wildly looked around, unsure of why everyone was disappearing. Finally, her eyes fell upon Tara, who was leaning against the front door, looking out one of the small windows.
"Willow, where are you?" She whispered, desperately.
Willow had been running for what seemed like hours. Her feet were killing her, which was not surprising since she was still in her slippers. Luckily, it was a pretty warm night or else her pajamas would have provided little warmth to her already numb body.
Willow's mind, however, wasn't processing all this clearly. In fact, her mind wasn't processing much at all, which was a part of the reason why she'd ended up here; the Bronze. She was so distracted, she barely avoided a couple of people as she entered, and only when she realized that there was a wall in her way did she finally stop.
She looked around, half-confused, half-not caring where she was. She quickly recognized the pool table and took notice of the empty stage at the other end of the building.
At that moment, Willow's eyes, wandering against her will, landed on the balcony that was right above her. A place that just a few hours before had been the site of a heated argument between herself and Tara.
*Flashback*
Willow was standing on the balcony, unsure of what to make of Tara's attitude. Did Tara perhaps doubt her abilities suddenly?
"Willow, you are using too much magic," Tara told her, losing her patience. "What do you want me to do, just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?"
"Well, that'd be a good start," Willow replied sharply.
"If I didn't love you so damn much I would!" Tara replied after a moment, before storming off.
*End Flashback*
Willow wasn't sure what had just happened. Perhaps her brain was just going into overdrive, or perhaps the spell from a little while previous hadn't worn off yet. But whatever the case, she was feeling very bad. I'm very bad. Evil. An evil child!
If she hadn't been so blinded, had actually taken a second to stand back and look at what was going on, she would have realized that Tara was right. And perhaps what made her feel worse was that Tara was trying to help her, despite how hard that must have been for her. Tara had lived all her life in shadows, and being as bold as she had been the past few days was something that Willow certainly wasn't used to.
Of course, now I've lost the right to that help, Willow thought to herself sadly.
She didn't know what she wanted to do. Crawl into a grave and die, or run back home begging for forgiveness that she knew she'd never get. However, for the moment, it seemed like all she could do is stand and mutter to herself over and over; "I'm bad."
And perhaps she was right. If she was, what could a bad person who wanted to be good do? To Willow, the only option was what she'd been doing: run.
And that's precisely what she did. She ran outside again, not caring who or, as the case may be, what she bumped into. She unconsciously knew where she was going, but her mind was still filled with that one thought. "I'm bad!" And that voice was only getting louder.
She turned about the 8th or 9th corner, and found herself at the place she knew she was headed for: the railway station.
She had no money. Hell, she didn't have anything beyond the small amount of clothes she was wearing. So, she decided that she had only one option. Magic.
She'd already done so many bad things with it, so it only seemed appropriate that it would take her out of town. How could that spell hurt? If anything, it would only help. She'd be gone forever. Tara could move on, forget her. Buffy could continue fighting the good fight, and perhaps die naturally and get the peace that she deserved without the distraction of watching over her so called best friend. And Xander could marry the girl of his dreams without worrying about his best friend since kindergarten disapproving.
Yes, leaving would seem to be the perfect solution. So, why wasn't she whipping up a spell?
Isn't the problem that you think every spell won't hurt? Willow asked herself mentally. Wouldn't Tara be heartbroken, unsure if you're alive or dead? And wouldn't Buffy be wandering around the cemeteries every night, hoping that you would appear and send the vampire that's got the upper hand on her into a broken tree branch? And wouldn't Xander be lost, having no one to talk to about every day things that Anya just didn't have any experience with?
No, leaving wouldn't be the perfect solution. And the spell would be the worst thing she could do.
Didn't her older self say that Tara left? Perhaps it was Willow that 'sent' her away. Maybe her magics got to be too much, and she ended up doing the unpardonable. If she had hurt Tara at all, then she would have been going against everything she'd believed in since she met the shy, blonde witch. And hadn't she already hurt Tara?
A shrill whistle brought Willow out of her thoughts, and as she watched the train pull in, she knew, running wasn't the answer. But if it wasn't, then what was?
Tara was in her room, just finishing putting on a heavy sweater and jeans, about to head out on what was likely going to be a tough search for Willow. She wasn't too worried about Willow's safety, but she knew that something was wrong, and the first step in correcting that was to find her.
So, she and Buffy were about to go out, unsure about what they were getting themselves into.
Walking towards the door, Tara heard something under her foot crunch. Lifting her foot, she saw the remnants of a flower underneath. "Oh, no," Tara said out loud, reaching down to pick it up.
"What?" Came a shout from downstairs. Most definitely Buffy's voice.
Looking the flower over a little, she called down; "I just stepped on a flower. It was very pretty, too. Hopefully Willow doesn't mind."
Giving one last look to the flower, Tara threw it into a garbage bin, and walked down the stairs, ready for a long night out on the town.
Spike had been walking around for at least an hour, and there were still no bad vampires or demons for him to pummel. He was starting to get restless, not to mention hungry. If it weren't for the chip he had, he'd probably not even be there.
Then again, if it weren't for the soddin' thing, Buffy might have already staked me, Spike thought.
Walking down the street, he passed the railway station. "Perfect," Spike said to himself as he noticed the train. "Always some baddies on the train. Perhaps I can find someone to thrash."
Walking towards the station, he quickly noticed something wasn't quite right. As he got closer, he found out exactly what that was.
"Red!" Spike shouted, half to get her attention, and half out of surprise. Perhaps she and Buffy had announced a sudden patrol that he was unaware of? "What are you doing here? I would have thought you'd be spending this time with your Bird."
Walking up to her, Spike stood beside her, a little upset. He'd been helping them for the whole summer, and he'd done it willingly. The least they could have done was inform him when they were going on a patrol.
"Red, what are you doing out here?" Spike asked once more. To his surprise, she didn't even acknowledge his presence, and seemed to keep staring at something. Following her gaze, Spike saw set of steps leading into the train car currently resting in front of them.
"What, did someone hear about a new big bad coming on a train today?" Spike tried again, keeping his eyes locked on Willow's face. Still no expression, no sign that she even noticed he was there.
"Would you bloody talk to me already?" Spike finally exploded. Once again, he got no response. Without thinking, he swung his hand, which ended up hitting an invisible barrier. Of course, that didn't stop the chip from activation.
"Ahhh!" Spike screeched. Unsurprisingly, Willow still didn't flinch. "Soddin' Scoobies."
With that, Spike walked off. There was no one coming off the trains, and he'd gotten fairly tired of Willow's charade. Be better off looking for another spot to set up shop.
Meanwhile, Buffy and Tara were heading down Main Street, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, and, of course, Willow.
Heading into the Espresso Pump, Tara took a quick look at the tables while Buffy walked up to the front desk.
"Hey," she said, getting the attention of one of the waiters. "Have you seen this girl here today?" She asked, showing a picture of Willow.
"No, ma'am," he replied after taking a quick look at the picture and shaking his head. "Sorry."
"That's okay," Tara assured as she walked back over.
Looking back at her, Buffy couldn't help but feel sorry for her friend. She'd heard from Dawn that something had happened during the party between the pair. She wouldn't give her specifics, but apparently, it was pretty bad. So, Buffy had figured that Tara was feeling a little down on herself. Perhaps she was who caused Willow to run off, and she just didn't want to admit it.
"It's okay," Buffy tried to reassure her. "We'll find her, and I'm sure she'd okay."
"I-I know, but," Tara paused, giving a meaningful look at Buffy. "If something's going on, I'm not sure what we're going to do."
"We'll research, and solve it, and go on," Buffy replied, confidently. "It's what we always do."
"Right," Tara replied with false hope. "Maybe we should, um, split up. I'll go this way, you go that, and we'll meet up in an hour and see what we find."
Nodding to her, Buffy turned to walk the way Tara had pointed.
Tara, meanwhile, watched her walk off, before starting her own journey. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she'd gotten a sudden feeling that she had to find Willow on her own. And she rarely ignored her feelings.
Buffy was getting frustrated.
She'd just walked into the Bronze, and asked around to see if Willow was there. A couple people said they'd seen her near the stairs to the balcony a few minutes before, but when she checked it out, there was no Willow.
"Excuse me," Buffy asked someone walking by. "Have you seen this girl here recently?"
When the guy shook his head, Buffy groaned before smiling and thanking him. "I hope Tara's having more success."
"More success?" Came a voice behind her. "You guys are slaying solo now? And without me, to boot? Do you guys have a death wish now or something?"
Turning towards Spike, Buffy couldn't help but reply smartly, "No, but I'm starting to think you might."
Holding his hands up, he backed up, "Now, now, slayer. I'm just saying," he said, defensively. Then, curiosity got the better of him. "What's going on?"
"I'm not sure. Willow ran off, and…" Buffy started before Spike cut her off.
"Oh, Red. Yeah, she was, um, at the railway station," Spike said, as if it were nothing out of the ordinary. "She didn't even seem to notice me there. I know she hates me, but she'd usually give me a good insult or two, but she didn't even do me that favour."
"Thanks," Buffy said after a moment.
"No problem," Spike replied with an uncaring shrug, grabbing a cigarette. "So, should we go get her?"
"No," Buffy replied, surprising herself as well as Spike. "Tara will find her. She wanted us to split up for a reason. Now I know why."
Shrugging, Spike just walked off. "Suit yourself."
Tara had been wandering around for about 20 minutes, and she'd still seen nothing out of the ordinary. And, of course, no Willow.
Walking down the street, she reached a corner, and got a sudden urge to turn onto the other street. Once again, not one to discount her feelings, she turned and began walking down.
After about 5 minutes, she reached a dead end, and looked around. All she saw was lots of grass, and a railway station.
The railway station? Why would anyone go here? Tara asked herself, squinting at the front platform that was just barely in her line of sight.
As she looked closer, she noticed something familiar. Red hair.
"Willow!" Tara shouted.
I could go on, and hide under a seat, Willow thought, and, if I get caught, then I'll just follow the tracks to wherever they lead.
Looking at the train, Willow began to move, but then held back. But-but if I leave, how could I ever come back?
This was her home, and she didn't want to leave it, no matter the consequences.
Willow had been debating these two thoughts the past few hours, and still hadn't come up with a definitive answer. Should she stay, or should she go?
She'd been so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice another group of passengers arriving, nor did she notice Spike come up to her, or the feeling of magic in the pit of her stomach.
Nor did she hear the footsteps coming from behind her. Or the hands landing on her shoulders, holding her in place, even if she wasn't moving. She didn't even notice the beautiful face appear in front of her face.
Suddenly, feeling began to fill her once more, and she finally noticed her surroundings once more. In turn, she also noticed something clamped hard on her mouth.
"Yikes!" Willow screeched, jumping back and out of the death grip. Looking towards the offending party, she almost leaped out of her boots.
"Tara!" Willow screeched again, unsure what to make of the sudden turn of events.
Tara just eyed Willow, tilting her head slightly. "Willow, are you okay?"
Willow shook her head adamantly. "N-no, I-I…"
As Willow began to sob, Tara walked up to her, unable to watch her seemingly put herself through hell. At Willow's raised hands, and startled step back, Tara paused, unsure what to make of the situation.
"Tell me what's wrong," Tara said, a little unsteadily. Willow had rarely been secretive with her. She'd hold back some big things, sure, but Tara did as well. It just wasn't like Willow to not let her help.
"I-I don't know if I can," Willow replied through her tears truthfully. She just wanted to go now, jump on that train and leave, but something, some invisible force, was holding her right in the spot she was standing in.
Suddenly, Willow had a moment of clarity that almost shocked her. If you don't tell her, she'll never know, and she'll never get over me.
"I-I hurt you, Tara," Willow admitted, ashamedly. "I-I didn't think, and I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to, and-and I didn't want to."
Tara couldn't do anything but stare. None of this made sense. It sounded like Willow, granted she was very upset and feeling guilty, but she was herself, more or less.
Then it clicked. The flower. It looked like something she'd passively read about a few months ago. It was something like, Lyle's Butter or Lefty's Brother. Oh, Lethe's Bramble!
And immediately, she understood. Too well, in fact. Stumbling backwards, Tara didn't know what to think. How could she?
Looking at her, she considered the possibilities. Did she accidentally do it? But that was unlikely. She was very careful, and she rarely made errors with magic. Hell, even Tara had messed up more spells since they'd met than Willow.
But if she did it purposely, then why was she so ashamed now? Did something happen? Was it something she did to protect herself?
Thinking about that, Tara didn't think that was possible. What could she have done to cause Willow to have to protect herself?
Meanwhile, Willow was contemplating what she should do. It seemed pretty obvious, though.
"I-I'll go. I'm sure you guys don't want me around," Willow said, quietly walking towards the train. "I-I'll call, and have you guys send my stuff…"
"No," Tara cut off. She may not have known much, but she still knew she couldn't let Willow go. "You...you shouldn't be alone. Not like this."
Willow looked up hopefully, but all she saw was the conflicting emotions going through the one she'd hurt so much. Emotions she'd caused. She sighed sadly, but decided she couldn't leave if it could ever cause Tara more pain.
"B-Buffy's waiting for us," Tara continued, a little distractedly. "W-we should go."
"Okay," Willow replied, a little hesitantly. She began to walk, before turning back, feeling very vulnerable and small. "A-are you going to leave me?"
"I-I…" Tara paused, unsure exactly what she should say. Should I stay? "I think we need some space."
Willow nodded, taking it for face value. At least Tara wasn't telling her to get out of town. She might still have a chance, and even if she didn't deserve it, she wasn't about to blow it again.
End of Chapter 3
A/N: Well, that's pretty hard to write. I hope it doesn't seem to lame in parts. I promise that everything negative in this chapter will be rectified in the next couple, and then everything will be good. I've got a very surprising ending in store for chapter 5, though.
Anyway, I'm going back to BtVS: My Way now, so wish me luck on that. Once again, if you want the outline, let me know, and I'll send it out to you.
That's about all. Thanks, and happy reading!
