Title: The Debut of Lelouch Lamperouge (Alternative Titles: Oh brother my brother, the Fabulous Clovis)
Written for: Vicks111
Characters: Clovis, Lelouch, Schneizel.
Genre: Siblings, Comedy, Romance.
Length: 2400 Words
Author's Notes: AU, takes place in a kinder more gentle world where no misfortune befalls Lelouch and everyone mostly gets along.


The eleventh prince of Britannia was troubled. Much had been on his mind of late, and he had hoped that a rare lunch recess away from friends and foe alike might give him the space needed to collect his thoughts and strategize.

But fate had never been considerate to him, certainly not as much as the admiring galleries on the nationally televised chess matches he played in, for at that very moment the Most Honorable Amelia Von Richtoffen, a Duke's daughter three years older than he and Queen Bee of the campus was sitting next to him on the grass beneath the swaying tree while three of her lady friends stood by, ignorant of the prince's discomfort from her proximity and her sensual perfume. "So, Lelouch, have you thought of who you wish to dance with at the Ball?"

The Ashford Academy Autumn Invitational was given each year to the students and alumni of the most prestigious secondary school in Britannia. For many of the Empire's most distinguished persons—princes and heiresses and admirals and capitalists—the event marked the occasion of their debut into Society and all that that entailed. So it would be for Lelouch this year.

"I can understand your trepidation. It is your first time after all, and I thought it would be best if there was someone experienced such as myself to guide you through." The baroness' sentence curled to end on a suggestive whisper, prompting her girl friends to giggle as Lelouch lowered his gaze and struggled to remain unflustered; he had no doubt that had Amelia been born a boy she would be the school bully. If only, he thought to himself, at least one is allowed to flee from a bully without irrevocably destroying his reputation.

Just as the elder girl's silken noose of feminine guile was about to close around the hapless youth, help arrived in a most unexpected form, surrounded by a metaphorical background of roses and sparkles. "Lelouch, I miss you for a fortnight and where do I find you but alone in the midst of such loveliness! I should have expected no less from my brother."

"Clovis!" Lelouch exclaimed as the third prince returned the girls' hasty curtsies with a perfectly dramatic bow. "Where did you come from?"

"Well see, I was busy drafting designs for a new botanical garden in the Governor's Palace over in Area 11 when I saw the calendar and thought to myself, 'Clovis old ham, it's nearly time for Lelouch's debut as a full fledged adult!' So I commandeered the next flight out and here I am." The third prince pointed to the silken parachute peeking out from his backpack; he had jumped from a speeding plane at 10,000 feet and yet there was not a wrinkle to be found on his white jacket nor a single golden strand of hair out of place. Lelouch had to admit it was nothing short of remarkable, even if the feat was, like so many of his elder brother's acts, pointless. He was grateful nonetheless however.

The feeling of gratitude was short lived as Clovis took his hand and turned to address his pursuers. "Now if you ladies will excuse us, my brother and I have some urgent bonding scheduled for this afternoon."

"What? But classes are still…"

"Classes mashes, our sibling quality time cannot wait!"

Bowling over his protests, Clovis pulled Lelouch to his feet and began dragging him towards the carriage that was waiting twenty yards away.

Half an hour later, the pair relaxed in the private sitting room of the Chancellor as an effeminate man served them tea and things on silver and china. Clovis took a sip and raised his cup in salute, "Is this what I have been missing while serving abroad? My good fellow, this tea is superb!"

With a crisp bow Kanon left the office. Seated behind the grand mahogany desk, Schneizel continued to browse through an official document until Clovis tapped the crystal sugar bowl with his spoon impatiently. "Big brother, if it's not too much to ask, might you put aside those letters and join us?"

Lelouch looked accusingly at his impertinent sibling. "Seeing how Schneizel has actual work to do, I think we're imposing enough as it is."

"No, it's quite alright. It's just politics anyways." Rising from his seat, Schneizel removed and set aside his reading glasses and joined his two younger brothers, smiling as he received a saucer and cup from Lelouch. "But one only experiences youth once in a lifetime, so I believe Clovis has done the right thing to confer this gathering."

Finding himself in the minority, Lelouch fell into a slight sulking mood; it was as often that Schneizel took his side in his quarrels with Clovis than not, but today would not be one of those days. "I still don't understand why we're having this meeting."

"Of course, I nearly forgot. Schneizel, have you got what I asked for?"

The second prince produced a thick binder and placed it on the tea table. Lelouch took one look at the title stripe and nearly spat out his tea. "What is this?"

"Well, as the cover clearly says, it is a scouting report on your female acquaintances and marriage candidates."

"Scouting report? Marriage? This is absurd, have the two of you been spying on me?"

"Spying? Us? Never!" Clovis covered his heart and made a wounded expression. "All we did was order MI6 to find out everything about the girls in your life."

"That's spying! Haven't you any respect for people's privacy?"

"We are public figures, Lelouch. Even without Clovis' efforts every stage of your life would come under scrutiny. Surely you know this." Schneizel replaced his cup on the plate. "Once a possible heir to the throne comes of age the Intelligence Service begins to compile data on members of his or her circle, both for security and social considerations. The dossiers on Clovis for example occupy their own wing in the archives."

Lelouch raised a brow at his brother, who grinned haughtily. "What can I say? Beauty is a sin, dear brother, and many are those who have fallen for mine."

The eleventh prince fumed for a bit, then sighed in defeat as his shoulders sagged. "And? What do you plan on doing with this?"

Clovis clicked his tongue. "You are mistaken; big brother and I won't be doing anything. It is YOU who will be making use of this data."

"What?"

Readily producing a perfect rosebud from his inner breast pocket, Clovis launched into his banquet-speech mode. "Our goal—and the purpose of this meeting—is to facilitate your splash into society by providing you with everything you need to know in order to seize the hearts of all of Ashford Academy's finest in the upcoming ball. This here, my friend," and the prince patted the binder for emphasis, "contains every measurement, like, dislike, peeve, hobby, and psychological profile of every eligible young lady in Ashford Academy whom you have had contact with. Think of it as a cheat sheet to romantic conquest."

Lelouch frowned at the expression as Schneizel smiled bemusedly before continuing. "Clovis has also proposed that we serve as your tutors regarding courtship, although I'm sure he'll have more to say on the subject than I."

"Because big brother has never had to chase a lady before, whereas I have written books on the topic."

When Clovis saw that his younger brother remained skeptical, he flipped open the binder. "Look, let's give it a try. Kallen Stadtfeld, age sixteen. An S rank as far as face and figure goes, but she has an odd temperament. At school she is sickly, docile, and demure while at home she is quick-tempered, slovenly, has a ravenous appetite and can bench press more than twice her own weight. One analyst thinks she's bipolar, but the rest believe—and I agree—that she's merely going through that delicate phase which all girls must go through."

Lelouch sneered. "I'm aware of all that already. None of this gives me an advantage in any way."

"I'm just coming to that! She has an incurable weakness for cold, charismatic men in masks and dark capes, physical feebleness a plus… " Clovis closed the binder. "Well, we need not look further; clearly she's the one for you."

"That's a lie, I am not feeble! I am merely out of shape." The eleventh prince turned as red as a cherry before he realized that he protested too much and continued in a quieter but still simmering tone. "How did MI6 come up with this anyways? It boggles the mind."

"Never underestimate Britannian Intelligence."

Clovis tapped his own forehead and winked at his brother, underscoring a point that missed Lelouch by a mile. He sank into the sofa as though the air had been let out of him and pressed his hands to his head; a migraine had begun to form. "Is all this really necessary?"

"Necessary! Nothing could be more important!" Rising to his feet and placing both hands over his brother's shoulder, Clovis' expression became grave with purpose. "Imagine if you were to fail in striking a favorable first impression upon the ladies two nights from now, the opportunities for promotion and profitable friendships that would be lost forever. Father did not rise to the top by just being popular with men, you know."

And Lelouch was finally convinced.

****

On the evening of the ball, the two elder siblings found themselves challenged with the task of keeping their presence low-key while staying within visible proximity of their younger brother—no easy task, when both were celebrities in their own rights. Fortunately the theme of the ball was a masquerade, and the two were able to achieve anonymity with an outfit made up of a sinister cape and a mask-helmet that resembled a goldfish bowl; a Zero Suit, from the name of the titular antihero of a popular children's cartoon that aired every Saturday morning. Thus disguised, Clovis and Schneizel discreetly shadowed their sibling—except they were not discreet at all, since the fashionably bankrupt outfit made the pair stand out like an eyesore amongst the more sensibly attired crowd. As Lelouch reached to adjust his bowtie for the third time that evening, Clovis, speaking through the microphone built into the helmet, immediately corrected his brother's behavior. "Stop that! Fidgeting in front of a lady is a fatal sign of weakness. You might as well raise the white colors and be done with it."

Lelouch winced from the voice booming into his earpiece; his nervousness was as much a product of his approaching moment of truth as the fact that Clovis was lecturing him on strategy. "Sorry."

"Now, the first dance is set to begin in five minutes. Hurry along and find a partner." Clovis sighed as Lelouch moved off, the bottom portion of his facemask conveniently sliding open as he raised a glass of sparkling wine to his lips. "I'm afraid I shall lose hairs to whiteness before this evening is over."

Schneizel smiled as he watched Lelouch weave his way through the dance floor, apologizing and excusing himself as he searched in a roomful of people for the one. "It shan't be as bad as that. We've rehearsed with him plenty, now it's just up to him to find his own way."

"I would feel more at ease if only he told us who he had in mind to… well, look there." A short distance away, in a relatively secluded area near the door to the atrium stood a girl with gold shoulder-length curls dressed in an elegant purple dress and her gloved hands folded before her. "I remember her from the files, but the name escapes me."

"Millicent Clara Ashford, a second year who works with Lelouch in the student council. She's the favorite granddaughter of the Ashford Foundation's chairman." Schneizel raised a brow when a trio of young men approached the young lady, received a smile that managed to be both charming and apologetic, and walked away. "That makes ten who have tried and failed to ask her to dance."

Clovis appraised the young woman with his expert eye. "Indeed. That one is certain to blossom into a striking beauty, already is." The corner of Clovis' lips curved upwards in approval when he saw Lelouch notice and make towards the girl. "And it seems that for once, my baby brother agrees with me."

"Or he may just be seeking the refuge of a familiar face."

"A familiar face who declined ten invitations in order to wait for him," Remarked the third prince as Milly accepted Lelouch's offered hand and the pair made their way towards the dance floor. "Perhaps we have worried ourselves over nothing after all."

"To our brother and his good fortune with the ladies in his life." Undoing and slipping off their masks, with the effect of catching the attention of all the delighted ladies around them who instantly gravitated towards the glittering pair like bees drawn towards nectar, Schneizel and Clovis raised and touched their champagne flutes in a toast as the orchestra began to play the first waltz.