Shaking her hand, the Chief Elder said, "Eva, thank you for your childhood and enjoy your assignment."
Eva grinned, accepted the envelope, and made her way back to her seat. Zanna smiled at her. "I'll be taking care of your products!" Zanna whispered excitedly, and squeezed Eva's hand. Eva squeezed back, and the two friends watched as Jecile walked up tp the stage to receive her assignment of Judge with a proud look on her face.
Coming back to her seat, Jeclie gave Zanna a curt nod, but didn't even look at Eva. Eva rolled her eyes. Truthfully, Eva didn't really care. She had gotten the assignment she wanted, and Zanna was still her friend. She had always liked Zanna more than Jecile, anyway. Besides, she wasn't arrogant like Jecile often and was much more fun.
Before she knew it, the ceremony was over and the lights in the auditorium were coming back on. Zanna smiled at Eva, and stretched as she rose from her seat. "Congratulations, Birthmother." She said. "Congratulations, Nurturer." Eva said, giggling and playing along. "Do you want to ride back to our dwellings together?" Zanna asked. "Sure!" Eva replied. "Let's go."
After Eva got back to her dwelling, she parked her bicycle in its port and said goodbye to Zanna. She opened the front door to her dwelling and closed it silently, peering around to see if her parents were home. They were, and Eva immediately spotted them, conversing around the already set dining table. Immediately she ducked behind the wall, and decided to listen in on their conversation, since they wound never be honest around her.
"So, what did you think of Eva's assignment?" her father asked.
"Well, I was disappointed, but I suppose it is the best assignment for her. Our Eva was never very smart, after all." her mother replied, and they both chuckled lightly. "She was always too busy dreaming up stories or asking silly questions." her father said.
Eva felt as if she had just been punched in the stomach. Her parents had just called stupid. Her parents had just called stupid. She thought they cared about her. They do care about you. Eva told herself. They're just being honest, that's all. You were never smart. At least, not in the way they want you to be.
"But good for Jecile, though. She was the only one in Eva's group that received an assignment in Law and Justice. I'm looking forward to being her mentor."
The thought of her snobby ex-friend being mentored by her mother made Eva feel sick to her stomach. She would have liked to walk outside, jump on her bike, ride to Jecile's dwelling, and give the girl a much deserved punch in the face.
But she knew she had to compose her self, at least for now. As much as she wanted to scream at her parents and punch the walls and tell them how they were the stupid ones, she had to keep it inside. Once she got to her room, she could cry or do whatever she liked. But not now. Eva automatically wiped away the tears that she had barely noticed, did a few practice fake smiles, and walked into the dining room.
After greeting her parents, Eva took her seat and they ate their evening meal in silence. After they had finished, her mother said, "Well, it's time for the Sharing of Feelings. Eva, would you like to go first?" Eva nodded "I'm feeling content with my assignment" Eva said dully, keeping the emotion out of her voice.
She really was content with her assignment, but she hadn't prepared for her parents calling her stupid. She listened to her parents' feelings, but not really. Her mind was far, far away. She dreamt about what her products, what the other birthmothers would be like, and mostly about Jonas.
Why had he asked to see her after school tommorow? There was something about Jonas. Something- something different. And it wasn't just his pale eyes. "-va? Eva?" her father said, snapping her out of her trance. "Yes, father?" you can go to your room and get ready for bed. Me and your mother will clean up here, ok?" "Ok" Eva said, and made her way to her room.
Eva walked into her room, sat down on her bed, and stared at the manila envelope in her lap. Are you happy now? her conscience asked.
You wanted to be birthmother, and it's what you got. So what's your problem? You're supposed to be happy now.
I know, it's just that I expected that it would be better. I mean, I had this silly notion that once I was assigned to be a birthmother, this emptiness would just disappear somehow. But it's not. The emptiness is worse than ever.
In truth, the emptiness was now more crippling that it had ever been.
"How am I supposed to live with this emptiness when it's eating me alive?" Eva moaned.
