AN: This is what I get for not checking before I upload. *sighs* Sorry for the inconvenience everyone!
Disclaimer: Stephen Stohn owns Degrassi.
Chapter Three: Can't Shake This Feeling
(Owen)
I wake up to see those cinnamon, tousled curls sticking on her face. Her eyes are shut tightly; almost as if she doesn't want to open them and be sucked back into reality. Her mouth is opened enough to let tiny snores flow out. I feel a weird feeling in my heart and decide to ignore it as I roll out of bed. I quietly tiptoe to the door and open it as slowly as possible. It makes a whining sound and I cautiously look over my shoulder to make sure she's still sleep. I exit the room and close the door behind me. I walk down the steps and into the kitchen where Abby is standing there cooking. She has a smile on her face and she's humming soft melodies.
"Good morning, Mr. Milligan," she says without looking up from the stove.
"Morning, Abby. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure honey," she replies while flipping the pancakes. "What's up dear?"
"Am I an asshole? Do I scare people off?"
Abby giggles. "Do you really want me to answer that, Owen?"
I nod my head in a pleading way.
"Owen," she sighs, "I've known you since you were a little teen coming here to make your dreams come. You were straight out of high school with the attitude of a guy who wants to strive to get what you want. That guy that I met seven years ago was so caring and the most intelligent young man I've ever met, although you still had a bit of a temper. As time went on and you finally landed your dream career, you started becoming this atrocious man I've never wanted to be around. I love cooking for you, Owen, I really do—I see so much potential in you, son, but you have to cool down that damn attitude of yours; especially towards these women, Owen. You have to learn that whatever happened in the past has to be let go. You…you carry this heavy load on your shoulder and it's infuriating, especially for someone that's my age. I'm old enough to be your grandma, child. If I could, I'd slap the shit out of you like you were my own child."
I grin, knowing that Abby means no harm. I pull her into a hug and apologize for all of the frustrations I've caused her. She waves it off and tells me to go wake Clare. I gulp and nod my head. When I walk up the steps, I hear the shower water running and I hear singing. It's faint, but I can still hear it. I walk to the bathroom and press my ear to the door. I listen to the voice and feel my chest tighten. The singing may be a little off key, but it still sounds angelic to me.
I walk away from the bathroom once I hear the water turn off. I go to my room and close the door behind me. I go into my adjoined bathroom and strip out of my clothes. I take me a quick shower and get out drying off and getting dressed. Today shall be an interesting day. Clare is going to meet Bianca and Adam; two of my other closest friends.
After dressing in a black V-Neck with a pair of blue jean shorts, I go downstairs. Clare is talking to Abby—obviously ignoring my rules of not talking to the staff. When they spot me, their talking dies down and they both pay attention to what's in front of them. I clear my throat and pull up a chair next to Clare.
"You two can continue talking," I tell them as I take a sip of my water. "I don't mind."
"Oh thank goodness," Clare sighs happily, "Abby was just telling me about this cake her mother used to make her when she was pregnant with her firstborn. What's it called again, Abby?"
"You're talking about a 7-Up pound cake with walnuts. I can take the walnuts off if anyone's allergic."
"Yeah," Clare says, "I hate walnuts, but the 7-Up pound cakes sound delicious. Maybe we can add strawberries on there?"
"Oh Clare, you're wearing me out," Abby jokes as she scoops a stack of pancakes on Clare's plate before doing mine. "There are freshly cut strawberries in the refrigerator if you two would like some on your pancakes."
"Sounds wonderful," I say as I get up. "You two have taken a liking in each other. What does she have that I don't have, Abby?"
"Do you see how lovely and sweet this woman is?" Abby says as she reaches over the counter to pinch Clare's cheeks. "She reminds me of my youngest daughter, Beth. So sweet and enjoys my cooking."
"I enjoy your cooking, Abby," I say.
"I know you do, Owen, but I don't have any sons. I'm afraid I don't know how you…boys work."
I chuckle. The three of us talk a little more until Clare and I finished our breakfast. I leave the kitchen to call Drew while Clare stays in the kitchen to talk to Abby some more. After getting off the phone with Drew, I come back in the kitchen to let Abby know that Drew, Bianca, and Adam are coming over today. This seems to spark something in Abby. She grins and says that she has to make Adam's favorite meal. I guess Adam has his way with the women; Abby absolutely adores him and says if she could, she'd make him her son.
I have to admit, I used to get a little jealous at this.
Clare asks who are Bianca and Adam. I explain to her briefly about Bianca being Drew's wife and Adam is his brother. Clare nods her head and says she can't wait to meet them. I give her a small smile as I step out of the kitchen and go sit in the living room to wait for my best friends to show up.
About ten minutes later, my doorbell chimes. I stand up and walk to the door to open it. I smile widely at my best friends. Bianca pulls me into a hug, telling me about how much she has missed me. I just saw her a few days ago, but the three of us were always stuck together like glue.
"Come on inside. I have someone I want you to meet."
"Ooh, is it a girl?" Adam asks.
"Yeah," I respond.
"You never told us you had a girlfriend," Bianca adds.
"I don't. It's um…CLARE CAN YOU COME HERE?" I yell loudly.
I hear Clare practically run into the living room. She stops once she's at my side.
"You must Bianca and Adam," she says to the two. "Hey Drew."
"Hey Clare."
"I'm assuming you met her already?" Bianca growls. "What's going on? Who are you?"
"Well, my name is Clare Edwards. I recently lost my fiancé due to a terrible storm and a freak car accident. Um, I lost my place and prior to that, I found out I was pregnant. I was going to tell him on the day he died. I ended up homeless for a couple of months until Owen found me and took me in. "
The room is silent. Bianca has tears streaming down her face. She and Adam walk over to Clare and wrap their arms around her. Clare hugs them back.
When they pull apart, Bianca says, "If you ever need anything, dear, let me know. Do not hesitate to call me, okay?"
"T—Thanks," Clare chokes out.
Once Bianca and Clare had finished crying, they start to talk to get to know each other more. Then, Clare turns to Adam and gets to know him more, too. Those two have a lot in common; way more than Clare and Bianca.
"You listen to Dead Hand, too?" Adam gasps.
"Well, my fiancé did, but I grew to love them," Clare responds.
"Oh dear God, where have you been all my life?" Adam jokes as he pulls Clare into another hug.
I feel myself getting a little jealous as I watch the interaction between the two. I look at Adam in envy. I can't believe he's getting along with Clare so well. They have so much in common and it seems as if they've known each other for years. Adam offers to take Clare to the mall. She agrees and leaves us.
"Wow," Drew says in astonishment, "I didn't know my little bro had it in him."
"Shut up, Drew," Bianca and I say in unison.
"So, why the sudden change of heart?" Bianca asks.
"I just wanted to do something nice for once."
"Hm," Bianca says as if she doesn't believe me. She says she's going to go to the bathroom, leaving Drew and I alone for a brief moment which gives me the perfect opportunity to talk to him.
"Clare slept in my room last night," I blurt out.
Drew raises his eyebrows and gives me a questionable look. "Are you serious?"
I nod my head. "It was storming and she was terrified. She asked to sleep with me, so I let her. I held her in my arms as we fell asleep. I felt this…feeling Drew. Something I can't quite figure out."
"Maybe you like her, dude. She's beautiful, caring, and—"
"Currently going through a lot," I finish. "Besides, relationships aren't for me. You know that, Drew."
"You won't let the past go, Owen. You can't hold that over your mother's head forever. Besides, you're blaming other girls for something that your mother has done. You won't give anyone the time of day because—"
"I gave Anya a chance and she did it. What about Alli?"
"Hey, she cheated on me, too. It's all good."
"It's not," I sigh. "That proves all women are the same."
"No, they're not. Bianca is nowhere like those women out there and I'm sure Clare isn't either. It's up to you to believe that or not, but you better hurry up before Adam gets to her."
.
.
.
(Clare)
Shopping with Adam is a lot of fun. We hit a lot of music stores and even got matching Dead Hand T-Shirts. Listening to him talk about comics and the way music is structured gets me into tears. It reminds me of Eli and now I realize why I like hanging out with Adam.
He reminds me of Eli.
Adam notices my tears and stops in mid-sentence. He wraps his arms around me and asks me why I'm crying. I tell him it's because of him reminding me of Eli. Adam apologizes and offers to stop talking. I tell him to continue to talk, because it feels like Eli is here with us.
"Eli would've enjoyed being around you," I tell him as we continue to walk around the mall. "You two seem so much a like that it's scary."
Adam grins, but says nothing. I mentally scold myself for repeatedly mentioning the similarities between the two. I bite on my lip to prevent me from talking about it anymore.
Adam and I walk to the food court. We both decide on Taco Bell. After eating our meal, we pile into the car and head off back to Owen's house.
"So, you like staying with Owen?" he questions.
"He's alright," I shrug. "He kind of scares me."
"He's not scary," Adam responds. "He just has a lot of baggage that makes him that way. He takes his anger out on just about every female."
"Why is that?" I ask in curiosity.
Adam sighs. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone; I swore to Owen that I wouldn't and I'm sticking to it. I hope you understand."
"Oh, I totally understand," I say with a nod.
The rest of the car ride is silent. When we get to Owen's house, I mentally curse under my breath. It's not that I don't like being around Owen, it's just that his presence puts me on the edge. I never know when he's going to snap or be in a good mood. He honestly makes it feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him.
We get out of the car and walk on the porch. Adam rings the doorbell. We wait a few moments before Drew answers the door. He tells Adam about Abby making him his favorite cake. Adam races inside and I giggle. I take my bags and store them upstairs. When I turn around, I gasp. I hadn't known that Bianca came up here with me.
"Sorry for scaring you," she giggles.
"It's fine," I tell her with a sigh.
"So, you're pregnant?"
I nod my head. "Two months."
"Well, congratulations. I'm just sorry that your fiancé couldn't be here to celebrate it with you and go through that experience."
"Yeah," I sniffle.
"What was he like? Your fiancé?"
"He was a wonderful guy; he did everything for me with no hesitation. He—well, the both of us—had a passion for writing. Eli just exclaimed he loved it more than me. He was a jokester, too. He loved to pull pranks and he loved to act like a kid—especially when it came to comics and video games. He would stop everything for me, though. He said I was his number one priority. That's what I loved about him the most," I say as tears spill down my face.
"Clare, honey, I'm so sorry," Bianca says softly.
"It's okay," I reply as I wipe away my tears. "I miss him so much; I didn't even get to tell him he was going to be a dad."
Bianca gets quiet for a few seconds before saying, "Drew and I have been trying for a while. We can't get lucky. I want to have a child so bad; Drew does too. It's something that we've been hoping, wishing, and praying for. I can't say that you're lucky, but you're blessed to be having a child—his child at that."
I nod my head. "I'm sorry. I know this must be difficult for you. Maybe you can adopt?"
"That's going to be our second option. I'm trying to work up the courage to set me up an appointment to see what's wrong and if I can have kids."
"You better do it soon. It could be something serious."
"That's why I'm afraid," Bianca mumbles.
.
.
.
After our heartbreaking talk, Bianca and I go downstairs to the dining room. Abby is serving dinner and chatting with Adam. She pinches his cheek and tells him about how much she loves cooking cake for him. Adam blushes and thanks her. We all giggle as Abby waltzes back into the kitchen.
Today, she has prepared for us spaghetti, garlic bread, and salad. For desert, she made a chocolate cake with fudge in the middle. Adam tells me that as soon as you bite into the cake slice, fudge oozes into your mouth. I look hungrily at the cake, anxiously waiting for me to get a slice.
We all dig into our food and talk while doing so. Adam and I conversation is about today. Drew, Bianca, and Owen talk about Owen's job. Owen talks about being infuriated that Aron doesn't even call him. He says he's actually ignoring his calls. I look confusedly and they quickly inform me about Aron being Owen's agent.
After dinner, we go to desert. I wash down my delicious cake with a glass of cold milk. I eat another slice before going to compliment Abby on the great job she has done. I beg her to make me one someday and she tells me that I have to ask Adam, because she makes the especially for him. I nod my head and decide to fix me something else to drink when a rush of nausea hits me, again. I cover my mouth and run to the garbage can. I start to throw up and groan once I'm done.
"I thought you were supposed to get morning sickness in the morning," I say as I wipe my mouth.
"Oh dear, when I had my second child, I got them in the afternoon and sometimes at night. It doesn't matter dear. You look a little pale, though. How about you go rinse your mouth and go lie down."
I nod my head and tell Abby goodnight. I go into the dining room where I see Adam, Bianca, Drew, and Owen talking. They stop when they see me. I tell them what happened and how I'm suddenly tired. They tell me goodnight and Adam says he'll be back over soon. Bianca says that the two of us need to talk more and I nod my head. I go into my room and close the door. I strip out of my clothes and into my pajamas. I slip into bed, close my eyes, and drift off into a deep sleep.
.
.
.
"Clare, wake up," a soothing, sweet voice calls out.
My eyes flutter open and I see Eli hovering over me. His piercing green eyes are boring into my blue ones. A smile spread across my face and I quickly sit up. I outstretch my arms, waiting for Eli to wrap his arms around me. When he does, my heart leaps out of my chest.
"I miss you," I tell him.
"I miss you, too Edwards," he smirks.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"I'm pregnant," I tell him.
Eli grins and kisses me on my forehead. "I know you are, baby. I can't wait for you to find out the sex."
"I wish you were here with me," I mumble as tears start to spill from my eyes.
"I miss you too gorgeous. You have to stay strong and not let any stress get to you. I know it's hard, but remember stress isn't good for our baby."
I nod my head. Eli grabs my hand and helps me to my feet. I had forgotten how our height was a slight difference. Just seeing him standing there in a Dead Hand T-Shirt, a leather jacket, black jeans and black Converse makes my heart shatter. Although I hated the way he dressed, I'm starting to miss it now. I'm missing every single thing about him.
"Kiss me one last time, Eli," I whisper.
Eli pulls me into a kiss. Although I know I'm dreaming, it feels so real. The way his lips are pressed against mine makes tears slide down my face. I miss the warmth of his body and the softness of his flesh. I miss having him caress me and make love to me whenever he'd come him. I miss our flirty banter.
When we pull apart, I see Eli is slowly fading away. I want to reach out to him; I want to squeeze him and make him stay with me. When I wake up, I know it'll be over. I know that I'll wake up to emptiness; there'll be no Eli in my room.
