Total Drama Insanity
Well, so far I've gotten some pretty positive reviews…granted, I've only received a few so far so I hope I'll be able to get more of them if I keep updating the story.
But for the time being, things are beginning to get interesting. The first challenge is going to start soon…and shortly after that there's going to be the first bonfire ceremony… Who do you think is going to get voted off first? It's going to depend on which team loses the challenge…
Chapter 3: Dungeons and Death
Scott was once again plotting against his fellow contestants. What was he up to you ask? As it turns out, he was once again planning to sabotage his own team and make them lose the challenge. However, there was someone who did not approve of this.
"Maybe if I'm lucky this time, I'll actually end up winning. Yeah, that'll show them!" stated Scott.
"Hey you! Yeah you!" exclaimed someone.
"Who's there?" asked Scott.
"I'm in your head! I'm your conscience! Listen, you can't just go around and sabotage your own team to make them lose challenges! It's not fair to them at all!" exclaimed the conscience, who curiously resembled an old man.
"Who cares? And why are you an old man? Shouldn't you be a cricket?" inquired Scott.
"Those are for puppets that don't know right and wrong! And you are not a ventriloquist dummy…at least not from where I'm standing. Anyways, I command you not to sabotage your own team!" exclaimed the conscience.
"Whatever. I'm not listening to you. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back to plotting against my own team. Maybe if I'm lucky I can dispose of Lightning…with him gone things are bound to get a lot easier for me. Or maybe I should get rid of Izzy…of course, I could just call the RCMP and get her arrested. Wouldn't that be nice." he said.
The conscience peeled his white hair out in frustration.
"This is going to cost you, Scott! You remember what happened the last time you tried playing the game dishonestly, don't you? It wasn't a lot of fun for you, now was it?" inquired the conscience.
Scott immediately gulped, remembering the time he had spent in the trauma chair.
"I assume you don't want that to happen to you again, do you? I assure you if you keep on being a jerk to others, you're going to experience pain. And lots of it." retorted the conscience.
"Whatever. I'm through talking with you." answered Scott.
Confessional: Scott should listen to his conscience more often. Too bad he's not a good listener.
Scott: So what if my conscience says that I should play the game fairly? What does he know! He's just a stupid old man who probably sleeps all day.
Cameron: I heard Scott talking to himself…has he gone crazy from his time during the Trauma Chair or something? Or is he just lonely? I'm not sure.
In the boys side of the Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot…
"It feels nice to be in a cabin like this. Shame that the other team didn't get a fancy cabin though. I think Blaineley is being biased…" stated Cameron.
"I know, right? I think Blaineley must like me." answered Owen, pointing to the picture of him on the wall.
B examined the picture of Owen, and noticed that there was a signature on it. Apparently, Blaineley had actually made the picture herself.
Sam was simply playing one of his video games. Unfortunately, he was having a hard time.
"Ugh! This game is hard! I'm starting to feel like throwing my controller against the wall…I wonder if I should get one of my friends to play with me…then again they might not be into video games like I am." he said to himself.
Confessional: Have you ever felt like hurling your controller against the wall? I know you probably have…
Sam: You know it's funny, Blaineley picked 13 guy contestants but only nine girls for this season…maybe she's looking for a boyfriend or something?
Owen: I wonder if there's a picture in the girl's cabin too…not like I want to go in there…heh heh.
Meanwhile in the girl's cabin…
Dawn was busy meditating like always, trying to breathe in the air around her. Naturally, the other girls began to take notice.
"Why do you think she does that?" asked Gwen.
Dakota shrugged. "I don't know. She did it all the time back when we were in Season 4."
"Maybe it helps her focus? Personally I wonder if I should start doing it…" answered Zoey.
"Ah yes…for some strange reason, Chris decided to call the season Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…I wonder why?" questioned Lindsay.
"Maybe because he wanted to do more horrible things to innocent people…" she thought, remembering how she and most of the other campers were hurled off the island using a catapult.
"Ah yes…being a mutant wasn't pleasant at all. And I ended up losing all my hair too… I'm just glad that I'm finally back to normal and my hair grew back…" Dakota answered.
Confessional: It's no fun being bald…isn't that right Nakia?
Lindsay: I wonder if things are going to be a bit different now that Blaineley is in charge. She can't be as sadistic as Chris…can she?
Dakota: I hope Blaineley isn't keeping any nuclear waste around…I really don't want to be a mutant again.
Dawn: Chris needs to stop polluting the environment…it's not a good idea to mess around with mother nature. If we're unlucky he might end up creating treants or something…
On the boys side of the Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself Cabin…
Ezekiel was begging to his lord and savior not to be voted off first, or end up becoming a Gollum-like being. Of course, considering what the hosts of Total Drama Island were alike, they would probably rig the competition so that Ezekiel would deliberately end up that way.
"In your dreams, farm boy. Everyone knows that I'm going to win this season…and none of you is going to stop me!" taunted Scott.
"No taunting your own teammates!" demanded Scott's conscience.
"Shut up!" demanded Scott.
"Did you just tell me to shut up?!" screamed Brick, who began cracking his knuckles.
"Um…no." stated the ginger hick.
"Good answer." replied Brick.
"I heard about what happened to you last season...apparently, you were sent in the Trauma Chair for your atrocities...personally I feel a rather odd sense of deja vu." spoke Alejandro.
"Lightning thought it was funny! In fact, it was the funniest thing to ever happen on television!" Lightning exclaimed.
"Ah yes. I heard that Revenge of the Island killed in the ratings…you think it had anything to do with it?" nodded Duncan.
"You thought it was funny, did you? I'd like to see how you'd feel if you were in that crummy metal box! I had to pay an enormous medical bill to get out of it, too! That stupid mutant shark…" grumbled Scott.
Confessional: Will Ezekiel be the first contestant voted off once again?
Ezekiel: I'll do anything for you…just don't make me be voted off first! Is that too much to ask?
Scott: *he shudders at the thought of once again being in the trauma chair*
Duncan: Maybe I should watch the last episode of Total Drama Revenge of the Island…then again I'm not too happy that Lightning won…
Lightning: *he is flexing his muscles to the camera*
In the girls side of the cabin…
"Aargh! Why are they treating me like this! I demand to get a better cabin than this dump!" bellowed Courtney.
"You don't see me complaining." retorted Heather. "Although granted it would be nice to be on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Hot…of course then I'd have to put up with Gwen…"
"What did she ever do to you?" asked Sierra.
"Hey, where's Izzy?" asked Courtney.
As it turns out, she was running outdoors, trying to chase a butterfly.
"Sometimes I just don't understand her." stated Heather.
Confessional: Courtney sure is awfully demanding, isn't she?
Izzy: You can't get away from me, butterfly! I'll catch you if it's the last thing I'll ever do!
Butterfly: *he is holding a small sign saying "You'll never get me alive!"*
Sierra: I wonder why she wants to catch that butterfly anyway? Did it do something to her or something? Or does she just like capturing insects?
Shortly after the contestants had gotten accustomed to their new cabins, they heard the horn that signaled the start of a challenge.
"Meet me at the docks!" demanded Blaineley.
Our heroes immediately got out of their cabins and went towards the docks, where naturally the hostess was waiting for them.
"It's time for our first challenge! You're probably expecting this one to be easy, aren't you?" she asked.
The contestants simply shrugged. The first challenges always seemed to subvert their expectations.
"I decided that for this challenge it should be something simple…so all you have to do this challenge…is save a princess from a dragon!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"A princess from a what?" inquired Sam.
"Surely you've played video games of that genre, have you not?" inquired the hostess.
"It seems to be all the rage, actually." answered the hardcore gamer.
"Now then…let's see whose going to be the princess, shall we?" asked Blaineley. "For Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot…aka my favorite team…they'll be trying to save…"
A drumroll was heard. The campers began to wonder where it was coming from.
"Zoey!"
Zoey simply shrugged. She always seemed to have a knack for getting into trouble.
"Good luck out there, you guys." answered the Indie Chick.
"As for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself…which I hope is completely wiped out before the merge like Team Victory was...their princess that they're going to rescue is…"
Another drumroll was heard. Once again, the campers began to wonder where the music was coming from.
"Courtney!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"You better make it quick!" the "princess" exclaimed.
Confessional: Not all princesses are pure of soul, apparently.
Zoey: Personally, I'm hoping that Mikey is going to rescue me…but I suppose I'll accept anyone really. Beggers can't be choosers.
Courtney: Blaineley sucks! I'm probably going to have wait an hour and a half or so in some dungeon! Ugh!
"Can I stop drumrolling now? I'm getting tired and I need to make dinner for the contestants after the challenge is over." asked Chef.
"You are excused." nodded Blaineley. Anyways, let me explain the rules to you. Like I said, this challenge is simple. All you have to do is be the first one to rescue your princess…in other words, I'd suggest that you try to save her as soon as possible. Just watch out for the monsters and the traps…if they get you, you're going to have to go all the way back to the beginning of the dungeon."
"Suffice to say that will really slow you down and therefore will give the opposing team a lot of time to rescue their princess first, and I doubt you want that. Now then, I want you to put on these holographic helmets so that you can literally get your head into the game…and the rest of your bodies for that matter." Blaineley explained.
The campers all did as Blaineley instructed, and they instantly found themselves warped into what appeared to be a dungeon.
Confessional: Time for an old-fashioned dungeon crawl.
Sam: *he is now dressed like a fighter* Funny, I've actually played Dungeons and Dragons before…I never thought I'd end up going inside a dungeon and slaying monsters for real though.
Dakota: *she is now dressed like a sorceress* This outfit is rather impractical. Why are the sleeves detached? Why is it baring my midriff? And why isn't it falling down? On second thought, I probably shouldn't ask the last one.
Lightning: *he is now dressed like a barbarian* Lightning smash puny goblins! And other puny creatures! Especially a puny dragon!
Cameron: *he is now dressed like a cleric* I guess I'm supposed to be the party healer…let's hope that my teammates don't hurt themselves too much.
Brick: *he is now dressed like a paladin* This is rather ironic…some of my friends say that I'm a defender of righteousness. I guess they were right.
Duncan: *he is now dressed like a rogue* I guess my job is to steal things now…not like I have any problems with that…
Dawn: *she is now dressed like an archer* I'm not sure if I'm going to be good at aiming…I might accidentally shoot my friends…
B: *he is now dressed like a monk* *he starts performing several karate moves*
Lindsay: *she is now a bard* Am I supposed to sing a song or something? Because the only song I know is Friday…
On Team Blaineley Is Really Really Hot's side of the dungeon…
"Where are we?" asked Mike.
"It looks like we're in some sort of dark dungeon…" Lindsay stated.
"I can understand that Lindsie…it's part of the challenge, after all. I just wish we had a map of some kind…" stated Tyler.
Soon enough, our heroes found a map of the dungeon inside a nearby treasure chest. Apparently, the dragon was all the way at the bottom, so they needed to look for some staircases.
"I had a feeling that it would be all the way down there…that's how a dungeon typically works after all. The only problem now is getting to the bottom before the other team does." answered Sam.
"We've got company!" warned Dakota.
Soon enough several goblins rushed towards them, carrying clubs in their green hands. Judging from the wicked grins on their faces, they were planning on whacking them all like piñatas.
Thankfully, goblins were rather weak creatures, and therefore our heroes had little trouble disposing of them. They had a feeling there were more monsters inside the dungeon however.
Confessional: Goblins are little more than cannon fodder for adventurers, really. Unless you're roleplaying as one…
Dakota: Why are goblins so ugly? You'd think that Blaineley would make them prettier considering how vain she is…but I suppose she simply decided to design them that way.
Sam: I wonder where the staircase is? It's got to be around here somewhere…
Lindsay: People say that goblins are dumb…of course people always seem to call me stupid as well…maybe I'm secretly half-goblin? *she shrugs*
On Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's side of the dungeon…
"Hmph, this dungeon is going to be a cakewalk. I just know it." answered Duncan.
"Try not to get overly confident, you guys. You remember what Blaineley said, don't you?" warned Cody.
"Yeah yeah yeah, about us all getting sent back to the beginning when we die. Not like that's going to happen to me…" Heather stated.
"Everyone knows that I'm too good-looking to die!" exclaimed Alejandro.
"Uh-huh, sure." retorted Duncan.
Suddenly, Cody ended up walking into a pitfall.
"Aah!" yelled the boy as he fell to his doom.
"Cody!" screamed Sierra.
Thankfully, since they were still at the beginning of the dungeon, he walked back up to them just a few minutes later.
"I've got to be more careful." noted Cody.
Confessional: It's a trap!
Cody: It's times like this when I wish I had wings…not like that would help me get away from Sierra.
Sierra: How could you do this to Cody, Blaineley! I hate you!
Blaineley: *she is chuckling evilly* Being a dungeon master is so much fun!
Back to Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Ug-I mean Really Really Really Really Hot…
Our heroes found themselves facing a rather big…and ugly obstacle.
"If you want to get across this bridge, you're going to have to pay me over nine thousand gold!" demanded the angry troll.
As it turns out, our heroes were trying to cross a wooden bridge over boiling lava…however the guard wasn't making things easy for them.
"But we don't have that kind of money!" exclaimed Dawn.
"Too bad then! Get out of my sight!" demanded the troll.
"Should I body slam him? I have the bulk to do so…" inquired Owen.
"That's probably not a good idea, I heard that trolls can regenerate from wounds…unless of course you use fire or acid." answered Sam.
"Can't we just toss him into the lava?" inquired Dakota.
"But trolls are super-strong! If we tried doing that, we might end up in the lava instead!" warned Cameron.
"And then we'd end up like the Wicked Witch of the West." pointed out Tyler.
"What are we going to do then?" asked Mike.
Suddenly, Lindsay of all people came up with an idea.
"Can you please let us across the bridge? Pretty please?" asked the blonde.
The troll must have been rather lecherous, because he immediately began drooling upon seeing the pretty cheerleader.
"Hey! Stay away from my girlfriend!" Tyler demanded.
The ferocious humanoid growled at the jock, forcing him to remain silent.
"Sure, I have a thing for pretty girls, so go on right ahead." answered the brute.
"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be." noted Sam.
Unfortunately for our heroes, the bridge across the lava turned out to be rather rickety, and soon enough one of our unfortunate heroes fell in.
"Nooo!" screamed Cameron as one of the boards collapsed.
"Cameron!" our other heroes screamed.
"I'm melting…" the nerd stated the obvious as he was engulfed by the lava.
"This is just perfect. Now we're going to have to adventure without a healer. Who's going to return us to health the next time we encounter a powerful monster?" pointed out Gwen.
"You're right, Gwen. Without a healer we're up a creek without a paddle…and besides, healers are great at taking out undead…" agreed Sam.
Suffice to say, things didn't look too well for Team Blaineley Was Really Really Hot.
Confessional: Oh, what a world!
Cameron: That lava bath was hot…in fact, it was even hotter than Blaineley herself. *he chuckles nervously*
Dakota: I wonder if Team Bridgette has lost their healer yet…if not we might be in trouble.
Time to check on Team Bridgette Is Ugly As Chef Himself…
"Oh great, there are ogres up ahead…" stated Heather. "Ugh…and I thought Owen was ugly…"
"Lightning demands you to let us pass!" bellowed Lightning.
One of the ogres responded by farting directly in the jock's face.
"My nose! It burns!" he screamed, covering his nose as he did so.
The ogre then followed by sitting on top of the adventurer, trapping him underneath the massive blob.
"Noooooo!" exclaimed Lightning as he suffocated due to the lack of oxygen.
"Shouldn't we have done something to help him?" inquired Brick.
"To be honest, I'm rather glad that he's gone." answered Heather.
Suddenly, Izzy pulled out a spear and started stabbing the ogres in the stomachs like some sort of savage warrior…this proved to be surprisingly effective due to how fat they were and before long they were all dead.
"I think I understand why Blaineley made her a barbarian…remind me not to get on her bad side." stated Ezekiel.
"Maybe I should try to seduce her…but seeing though she's a lunatic that might not work…" thought Alejandro.
Unbeknownst to the adventuring party, Scott had slipped away from the party in order to plot how to sabotage them.
"Hmm…how should I sabotage my team this time? They all seem to be working together so well…" he thought.
"What did I tell you about sabotaging your own team?!" bellowed Scott's conscience.
"Oh it's you again. Back to telling me not to do evil things, are we? You do realize that's like telling a bird not to fly or telling a fish not to swim, am I right?" he inquired.
"Why do you never listen to me! You have ears for a reason you know!" retorted the conscience.
"Because I don't feel like listening to you, you're just a stupid old man who needs to visit a retirement home. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to open up that treasure chest right over there." answered Scott.
"Don't open that! It might be a trap!" screamed the conscience.
"Says you." he replied.
Unfortunately for him, it did turn out to be a trap, as the ginger discovered when it began to leak poisonous gas.
"Why does it smell so funny all of a sudden?" inquired Scott.
He then died shortly afterward, and found himself back at the beginning of the dungeon.
"Don't say I didn't warn you!" yelled Scott's conscience.
Confessional: To answer Scott's question, splitting the party is a great way to end a dungeon run prematurely.
Lightning: Lightning should have brought a nose peg…
Scott: My conscience is like an insect…his only goal in life is to annoy everyone he can…including me.
Izzy: Yeah! Those fat ogres are no match for me! Funnily enough they remind me a bit of Owen…oh well.
Once again, we're going to check on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot…
Our heroes found themselves trying to cross what appeared to be a forest…but what was a forest doing inside a dungeon? Then again our heroes never knew what they were going to encounter next…
"I'm confused…" stated Tyler.
"Personally, I'm glad for the change of scenery…I just love trees after all." stated Dawn, who began walking over to one.
Unfortunately for Dawn, the tree suddenly came to life.
"Aah!" she screamed.
"Treants!" bellowed Sam.
B tried to save her, but the other trees came to life as well and began throwing coconuts at him. Before long he was crushed to death underneath their milky goodness.
As for Dawn, the tree did something rather ironic…it grabbed her and then snapped her just like a twig.
"Noooo!" exclaimed Sam.
"Sheesh, we're all been dying so fast ever since we lost Cameron to that lava…." stated Gwen. "Who's going to be next? Then again it's probably going to be me…"
Thankfully, our heroes were able to chop down the trees…(or in Dakota's case, set them on fire), and were able to keep on moving forward.
Confessional: When trees attack!
Dawn: How could they do this to me? What did I ever do to them? *sighs*
B: *he is rubbing his head from being hit by so many coconuts*
I bet you want to see how Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is doing, am I correct? That's what I thought…
"Has anyone seen Scott?" asked Ezekiel.
"It's not like anybody cared about him." answered Heather.
"Good point." answered Lightning.
Suddenly, he noticed what appeared to be a demon…and a rather pretty one at that.
"Um, hello?" asked Cody.
The more our heroes looked at the demon, the more pretty it seemed to become. Personally, Alejandro thought it was ripping off his style, and therefore decided to stay away from it. Cody, on the other hand…
"Oh my gosh! You're so pretty! You're even hotter than Blaineley!" he exclaimed, no longer able to resist her charms.
The succubus simply smiled.
"Please marry me! You are so hot!" he exclaimed.
The succubus simply chuckled.
For a while, it seemed that they were actually hitting it off, which infuriated Sierra to no end. Unfortunately for Cody, the succubus eventually grew tired of playing around with him, and suddenly she set him on fire.
"Aargh! I'm on fire!" he exclaimed.
"Get some water!" ordered Ezekiel.
Unfortunately, it was too late for him, and he was eventually reduced to ash from the terrible heat from the flames. Sierra was not too happy.
"I'll kill you!" the purple-haired clingy jealous girl screamed, lunging towards the succubus.
The succubus was caught off-guard, and therefore Sierra was eventually able to gain the upper hand after a brief struggle…and eventually she was banished back towards the plane she came from.
"And that's why nobody messes with Codykins!" she screamed.
Confessional: Remind me not to harm Cody in the near future.
Cody: Wow…Sierra must really be protective of me…
Sierra: *she is snarling in rage*
Blaineley: Serves that stupid succubus right! Nobody is hotter than me! Nobody!
Remaining Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot Adventurers: Tyler, Lindsay, Mike, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Owen
Remaining Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself Adventurers: Alejandro, Heather, Ezekiel, Sierra, Duncan, Izzy, Brick
Well, since I didn't want to keep you guys waiting, I decided to split this chapter into two parts…but since a bunch of other Total Drama Island authors I know also do that it's probably not a big deal. After all, I haven't yet received too many suggestions to this story since I haven't gotten many reviews yet...
But how are you enjoying this dungeon-crawling escapade so far? So far both teams seem to be getting a lot smaller…at this rate, only one of them is going to reach the dragon…if that happens, can they defeat the dragon solo? And can they save the princess? You'll find out in the next chapter…and of course you'll get to find out who gets voted off first. Believe me, they're probably going to deserve it…
So just kick and back and relax while I continue writing for this story…
