A Sad Christmas: The Awakening
Christmas, its Christmas and I'm still alone. Miss Misato went to Hawaii with Kaji. I envy them both. Life seems to flourish with those two. Shinji sighs, alone at Nerv central dogma.
"Asuka." Shinji whispers the name with mixed emotions. It's nice to see her smile. I hope you'll have fun visiting your father back in Germany. A father that loves you.
Shinji silently prayed that Asuka would come home soon. It might be a little selfish, but he doesn't want to be alone.
Loneliness- The state of being alone.
Shinji stopped for a moment, he saw a little boy, just about 6 years younger or so he thought. The little boy was lost. He felt that the boy shouldn't be alone this Christmas. He was just about to walk towards the boy but. The boy ran toward a middle-aged man. The little boy was smiling. The man hugged the boy and carried him in his arms. Shinji looked away. His heart broke into pieces. Tears were welling up in his eyes. Shinji continued to trek home.
Touji and Kensuke, Christmas is here… I wish I was allowed to leave with you guys, I wish I had both of your guts.
I hope you two are having fun. I was going to show off my leather jacket too. Shinji smiled inwardly "Thank Kaji"
He imagining Touji holding his sister in his arms and Kensuke playing at some field with his toy guns. At least I have friends.
He didn't want to know where they went. Thoughts only made him sad. He tried to smile at the thought that he'd be alone, no classes, and no worries. I'm free…
"Father." Shinji left a small parcel before his father's office the day before Christmas. Shinji thought he was always to busy for him. He decided to accept the fact that his father didn't know he's alive.
Father… I don't care anymore… I am here because I am alive… I am alive because I exist… I exist to serve humankind… bound by my Evangelion…
"
Pathetic…"True…
Tears were now rolling down his cheeks. I didn't seem to bother him at all, for he has been crying almost every night.
"Home." Shinji whispers as he stood in front of Miss Misato's condo. It was filled with nice memories. Shinji brought out his Nerv ID card. He scrolled it down on the computerized pad. "Identification valid. Welcome home Shinji.'' An electronic voice mail replied.
Shinji frowned. He wished that the machine were a real person. Someone he could talk to. She shook his head. Swiftly the door opened, he walked inside head tilted downward. He went directly to his room; dinner wasn't on his mind. He was too sad to eat anyway. He sat on his bed tinkling with his SDAT player. "I'm miserable," he said, as if he were talking to his SDAT. Closing his eyes, he took the blade he hid under his pillow and slashed his wrist. It pained him a bit; he gently hid the knife under his pillow and tried to sleep. No one cares anyway… Mama… I'm coming to you.
Earlier
Shinji didn't notice the two people sitting at the couch. "He passed us." A blue haired girl said to an older man with glasses. "Rei, his eyes were closed. He didn't know we were here." Replied Gendou Ikari.
Present
Rei was headed for Shinji's room Gendou Ikari followed the timid girl who was headed for his son's room.
Rei opened the door gently, taking a little peek. Rei frowned this alarmed the Commander. "Is something wrong Rei?" he asked. Rei just stared at the commander, then opened the door.
Shinji was asleep, he didn't have a calm expression though, and it was more of a frown.
Gendou walked towards the sleeping boy. He gently brushed away a piece of hair that was covering Shinji's face. He smiled at his child. His Shinji…
Rei stood beside him holding a piece of parcel. It looked like a Gift. She gently placed it on Shinji's side and gave him a kiss. Ikarikun…
Shinji moaned a little. But didn't wake up. Rei frowned, she expected Shinji to wake up with her kiss, but he didn't. She let that one pass… Maybe next time dear prince.
Elsewhere
Unit 01 was alone; she was emerged in a room full of LCL, cryostasis. She didn't like to be alone. She wanted to be with him. To be with the pilot called Shinji. The one they call third child, the one she has chosen as her pilot, the one she protects.
Unit 01 growled. The room was shining it was shining a ray of blue and white colors. Unit 01 was online.
Shinji's room, Lovely Suite
"Lets go Rei." Gendou said as he was heading towards the door. Rei followed slowly. Glancing back at Shinji.
Before closing the door. Shinji began to glow… a red-purple combo while he was floating, little by little his image was beginning to fade… Gendou and Rei were taken surprised by this; they ran towards Shinji tried to grab him. Their hands failed them. All they could hold on to was air. A few seconds later. Shinji disappeared. All that was left from him was his clothes. Gently folded on the bed and a few tricks of blood on the shirt.
Gendou frowned at the sight of blood. Something was wrong that the lack of information would cause him gravely. He felt responsible. Rei just stared at the commander, emotionless as ever. She tilted her head, not knowing why tears were falling on the commander's cheek.
Gendou remembered the gift that was innocently placed outside his office. Its wrapper was simple, yet it was from his son. It wrote. Father, merry Christmas. Shinji… Nothing more but a slight memory… his son gone. It burned him so.
"I've lost Shinji."
Rei innocently held the commander's hand and squished it lightly. Tying to express. I understand how you feel you are not alone in this. But to the commander, that was a foreign, feeling.
"Commander are you alright?" Rei asked, a hint of concern in her voice.
The commander nodded.
She didn't smile. She just stared at the pile of clothes left in front of her. She thought about Shinji. This was not natural. A human couldn't disappear on his own. Shinji's not an angel, or is he, she thought. No, she concluded. Shinji's not an angel.
Nerv cage, Unit zero one…
Shinji was sleeping in the arms of Unit zero one his cut has now stopped from bleeding. An image of a woman in an angelic robe appeared in front of him. She looked like an older Rei, an older Rei with long black hair and amber eyes. She held Shinji's cut wrist and it healed.
Shinji opened his eyes. A blurry image of a lady was standing in front of him. He blinked his eyes… where am I? What is this? His vision tried to focus on his hands, and his vision focused a little. She was surprised at what he saw. He saw Rei, a little older and also more mature, her hair's black? Amber eyes? This isn't Rei.
"Who, who are you?" Shinji asked, almost like a whisper. The woman looked at him. She smiled a sad smile. The woman reached out and gave him a warm hug. He tried to resist but his body wouldn't let him. He was afraid.
"Don't be scared Shinji. Don't be scared, I'm here for you. I love you. Don't be scared. I'm here for you. Your not alone, I'm here so, please don't be scared." Said the woman in Shinji's ears.
Her voice sound's familiar, yet in a way… it was vague and distant… I've heard her voice before. Shinji's eyes sparkled.
"Mom?" he whispered with tears in his eyes. The woman in front of him smiled, but didn't nod. He doesn't remember clearly what her mother looked like.
The woman hugged Shinji and she didn't let go. Not for almost like an eternity to Shinji, but he didn't care, he was not alone.
"Do you want to be with me Shinji? Do you want to be with me? I've missed you so much and I don't want to loose you. I want you to be with me. Please Shinji, will you stay with me forever?" The woman asked.
Shinji nodded, smiling, he's eyes full of tears of joy. Now he knew he wasn't alone. He never will be. He didn't want to leave his mother. Not now that he's found her. He smiled and said. "I won't live you mom. Not ever."
"Shinji… I am not your mother, Ikari Yui is long gone inside me."
"I don't care… I don't want to be alone anymore."
The woman smiled. She smiled a warm and caring smile. She was no longer alone.
Nerv Dogma
Gendou Ikari was shouting commands on finding the 3rd child, Shinji Ikari. Yui, Shinji disappeared in front of me. He thought.
Rei was on her way towards the Nerv cafeteria to drown her sorrows. Smb
*Flash of light*
Unit 01 cage
Rei lost her cravings for beer when she saw Shinji, he was pale as her and beside him stood an odd looking woman. She almost looked like her except she had amber eyes and a long black hair and purple lips.
"She's free," was all she could say before a flash of light knocked her unconscious.
To be continued
Soulrefrain's notes:
Just an idea, what if Unit zero one was alive. Not Ikari Yui but the Evangelion herself, remember, the Evangelion is also human.
A spin-off from Evangelion Sad Christmas
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