DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but Julianna. All others belong to Mark VII and NBC Universal.
Johnny joined Mike in Julianna's room. She was still out of it from the anesthesia and Brackett said she might be that way for another few hours.
Johnny and Mike settled in chairs beside her bed and waited for her to open her eyes.
Just as the sun peeked through the windows of the hospital, Julianna opened her eyes.
"Mike," she croaked.
"I'm here, Juju," he said, his eyes tearing up.
She closed her eyes, but opened them quickly. "Johnny," she said.
"I'm here, babe. Just settle down," Johnny said.
Julianna looked at him and he saw tears running down her cheeks.
"Are you in pain," he asked. Mike prepared to get the nurse but Julianna shook her head.
"I feel empty. I lost the baby, again, didn't I," she asked, crying.
"It's OK, honey. I'm sorry. We'll try again later. Let's just concentrate on you getting out of here. We have a house to buy," Johnny said, kissing the top of her hand.
Julianna squeezed his hand and closed her eyes. She felt empty and like a failure. She had never felt so depressed about anything in her life.
Johnny knew Julianna was upset. He knew she felt like a failure, like she'd let him down.
"Jules, it's OK. I'm just so glad you're OK," Johnny said, tears building in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Johnny. I should have been more careful. I should have protected our baby," she said, sobbing.
"Jules, it wasn't your fault. It was a tragic accident and you couldn't control what happened. No one could. I'm grateful you're alive and are going to be out of this hospital in a few days. Then we're going to talk about our future together," Johnny said.
Julianna didn't respond. She just closed her eyes and fell back asleep as the pain medicine took effect. Dr. Brackett had also ordered a sedative so she could sleep.
Johnny watched her relax as the medicine took effect. He sat down in the chair and watched her face, her features still pained. He knew it was from the loss of the baby, not the pain from surgery.
"Want to step outside," Mike asked.
Johnny and Mike slipped out of the room, Dixie coming inside to check her vitals.
Once out in the hall, Johnny's composure broke. He went to the window and looked out at the sunrise. Mike stood next to his friend, feeling the same sense of sadness.
"I'm sorry," Mike said.
"Juli's so upset. Did you see her face? I can't believe she has to go through that again," Johnny said.
"I did. I'm sorry you're both going through this again," Mike said.
"I can't imagine having gone through this twice. This time is devastating for me, but she's gone through this twice. What if she doesn't want to be with me? What if she thinks we're cursed," Johnny said.
"She won't think that. She loves you," Mike said.
"Yeah, but that didn't change things the last time, Mike," Johnny said.
Mike was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to his friend to make it better. He didn't know what he was going to say with his sister. He hated that she was going through what she was going through, but he thought it might be better because she could lean on Johnny. Although Mike had to admit, his sister might decide she had failed Johnny a second time and leave because she couldn't bear to bring him unhappiness.
"You have to be there for her, Johnny. If you love her, you need to let her know that," Mike said.
"I'm going to be there for her, but she might not let me and that scares me," Johnny said.
The guys from Station 51 returned to the hospital after their shift was finished. They offered to bring Johnny and Mike something to eat and, although they had no appetite, agreed.
Julianna and Mike's parents had arrived a few hours after Julianna awoke the first time.
Mike had met them in the lobby of the emergency room and brought them up to Julianna's room.
Johnny was sitting by her bed, holding her hand and talking to her in a quiet voice.
Mike opened the door to her room. "Johnny, I think you know my parents," Mike said.
"Johnny Gage? You're the John that Mike mentioned Juli was dating? Oh, my goodness," Helen Stoker said.
She went right to her daughter's side and took her other hand.
Julianna's dad shook hands with Johnny before joining his wife next to their daughter.
"How is she," Helen asked Mike.
"She's good, now. She had her spleen removed and she'll be off her feet for a while, but Johnny and I can take care of her. She'll be glad to know you're here," Mike said.
The Stoker's looked at their son and Johnny. "What aren't you telling us, Michael," his father asked.
Mike took a deep breath and looked at Johnny. Johnny looked back and Julianna and said, "Julianna was pregnant at the time of the accident. She lost the baby. Our baby," Johnny said.
Mike saw the tears fall down his mother's cheeks and saw his father's eyes darken. Mike was worried his parents would get mad at Johnny and start a scene, but he was surprised.
"Poor, Juli. I know the pain of losing a child and I hate that Juli's going to experience that. Do you love her," Helen asked Johnny.
"Of course. I can't be without her," Johnny said.
"Juli's an adult and she can make her own decisions. The only thing we're concerned about is her and her health. So, when can she come home," her father asked.
Mike looked at his parents. "What do you mean, you've lost a child," he asked.
Helen Stoker took a deep breath. "The five years between you and your sister wasn't planned, dear. I got pregnant twice after I had you and before your sister was born. You were a year the first time and three the second. When I got pregnant with Julianna, I was scared to death that I was going to lose that baby, too. I was so careful the whole time, until I was sure I was going to make it. I know how your sister is going to feel. Thank goodness your father was so helpful and understanding. I was so scared he'd blame me for losing the baby that I nearly lost him. Thank God, I had you at home. When your sister was born, I was so relieved and excited. Her delivery was also traumatic and she would be the last child I would have. I was relieved in a way because I didn't know if I'd be able to go through that pain again. We need to be there for Juli," Helen said.
Ben Stoker wrapped his arm around his wife and looked at Mike and Johnny. "When will she be able to go home," he asked.
"Brackett hasn't said," Johnny said.
Julianna started stirring in her bed and opened her eyes.
"Mom, Dad," she asked.
"We're here, sweetie. Just rest. Johnny and Mike are here, too," Helen said.
"Johnny," she said.
"I'm here, honey. Do you need something," he asked.
"Side hurts," she said.
Johnny kissed her forehead. "I'll get the nurse for you, OK. I'll let you talk to your parents. Love you," he said.
"Love you," she answered, grimacing as she tried to move in the bed.
Johnny got out of his seat and headed out of the room. As the door closed to her room, Johnny leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. He saw Dr. Brackett coming around the corner. "Johnny, how's Julianna?"
"She's in pain. I was just coming to get the nurse and see if she could have some pain medicine," he said.
"I'll get them. How are you," he asked as they walked to the nurses station.
"I'm...well, I don't know. I don't know how I am. I'm grateful, lost, afraid and...well, angry. There's so many emotions running around inside me, that I don't know how I feel. I can't imagine how Jules feels. I don't know what to do except love her and I'm scared I won't be able to do that," he said.
Brackett slowly nodded his head. "I don't have an answer for you in this situation, Johnny. The only thing I can tell you is to make sure she knows you're there for her. That you love her. I hate you're both being put through this, but Juli's young and healthy. You can both still have a family, if that's what you want," Brackett said.
"Honestly, Doc, if she tells me she doesn't want a family after this, I'll understand and support her. I just want her and I want her to be happy. I'm just afraid that her being happy, won't include me," Johnny said, heading to the cafeteria to get some coffee.
Dr. Brackett watched the young paramedic walk away, his heart hurting for his young friend. He knew Johnny could handle any situation that was presented to him in the field no matter the pressure of the situation. It was this, an affair of the heart, that had the young paramedic stumbling. Brackett hoped Julianna and Johnny could figure things out. They'd already been through too much to lose each other.
Brackett headed to Julianna's room to check on his patient. He was hoping she'd be awake and he could discuss when to discharge her and if she needed to speak with a counselor about what had happened to her.
He opened the door to the room and found Mike standing with two people, he assumed were their parents.
"Mike," Dr. Brackett said.
"Dr. Brackett. These are our parents, Helen and Ben Stoker. This is Juli's doctor and her supervisor, Dr. Kel Brackett," Mike said.
Brackett shook hands with the Stoker's. "I'm going to examine her and give new orders for the day. If you three want to step out and get coffee or something, I'll get you when I'm finished," he said.
"We'll do that," Ben Stoker said, taking his wife's hand and following Mike out the door.
They walked down the hallway, Mike leading the way.
"Did you know Juli dated Johnny in high school," Helen asked.
"I didn't find out until she came back. Johnny and I have been working together for a few years now. I never asked about his dating life or Juli's. It was none of my business. When I found out they knew each other in high school, I remembered what you told me about them. Johnny's been great to Juli," Mike said.
"Johnny was a wonderful boy in high school. He was so sweet to your sister. I was very pleased with the way he treated her and how he treated your mother and me. Very polite and never did anything to cause us to worry about them being together. I'm glad to see he actually became a firefighter. I was hoping he'd follow through with that," Ben said.
"He was one of the first to go through the paramedic training," Mike said.
"I knew he was a bright boy. So, do you think Juli will get angry when we stay at the house and take care of her while you go back to work," Ben asked.
"Probably. She isn't the best patient in the world," Mike said.
They sat down with coffee. Helen smiled. "I remember when Juli broke her ankle. We were away for the weekend and they had gone hiking. She fell and broke her ankle and Johnny felt so guilty. Like he could have kept her from breaking it. Anyway, he called us and told us, but said he could handle taking care of her, if we were OK with it. He offered to take her to the reservation, just in case we thought they shouldn't be alone in the same house overnight. We wanted to rush home, but he insisted we finish our vacation and Juli did, too. When we came back, Johnny mentioned she was a horrible patient, but he gladly put up with her sour attitude because he cared about her. I knew he loved her because I had a hard time taking care of her sometimes. She doesn't like to be sick," Helen said.
The Stoker's drank coffee at the table and made some small talk, catching up on what was happening since their last conversation.
