Author's notes: Hooray I'm so glad I got more reviews on this! Thank you everyone and your support trust me I will try my hardest to update. About this chapter….well it leaves off to where I stopped in the last chapter so you won't miss anything.

Saya3427: Okays I'm continuing dear don't shoot me!

Raven-loves-Sanji- I don't know if you got my reply to your review but just in case you didn't get it I will post it up here. I know I'm horrible with grammar and I really wish I could learn were to put my commas, but I guess I never really learned how. But thanks for your criticism and I'm glad you like this story. Oh by the way I read your profile and you are awesome my dear! I love you!

Shipet100- Oh goodness what do you mean by that? Are you saying that it will be fun because it could get dirty? Well I'm not sure about that because I'm horrible at smex scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cirque du freak if I did I'm sure Darren and Steve would have gotten together which is pretty much impossible. Because Steve is a man whore that deserves to die and burn in hell….although I do feel kind of sorry for him but that's a different story.

Warnings: BoyXboy relationships. I may bump up the rating to M if I get the balls to write smex…..

You tell me

Rainbowness

"So you are saying that you're gay?" he replied slowly

"Well….it feels like it any way, I mean I knew about relationships but I never really thought about who I was attracted to until I met you," I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. I just met the kid a few hours ago and now I was confessing my love to him?

"I-I don't know what to say that…I'm flattered but at the same time creeped out."

"Those weren't my intentions at all I don't want to scare you away I'm just telling you the truth, I can't help how I feel," my hands were shaking in my lap and my stomach was doing circus tricks.

"Mr. Crepsely brought me a dud as an assistant I'm sorry but you would not be worth anything in the vampire world. You're supposed to be strong in the vampire world you cannot be wimpy," he said with disappointment in his voice.

"Oh so you're saying that gay guys can't be strong!?" I raised my voice ready to punch him.

He threw me to the mud and punched me straight in the face repeatedly, I tried pushing him off but he had me pinned down. I just took the beating for a bit hoping it would be over soon. This reminded me of my old home when my parents got mad they would beat me and I would just think of something funny or anything that made me happy until it was over.

"See you didn't even fight back you are worth nothing to me," I heard his footsteps walking away. I was alone.

I slowly pulled myself up from the mud and looked at my reflection in the river. It was like looking at a monster instead of my own reflection, being gay was a sin I didn't deserve to live. Why did god even put me on this earth? Was it to watch me get tortured? To put me threw sheer pain until I couldn't stand myself any more? It sure feels that god hates me to put me threw all of this, parents that didn't love me, bullies at the orphanage that called me names just because I was different, and the misfortunate events that lead me into being a creature of the night a vampire. My life felt like a fantasy or a nightmare that I would soon wake up from and be a whole different happy person. But that would never happen. Everything was real, unless the pits of my crazy mind said otherwise.

My stomach could no longer take the stress I vomited, painfully heaving up stomach acid because I had barely anything to toss out. My head started playing tricks on me and I began to see colors and soon everything went black.

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I woke up on a bed a strong smell of incense filled my nostrils and my head still pounding from before. I slowly put my hands on my for-head and felt the bandages that had been wrapped around. My vision was very blurry and all I could see was a big blob.

"You're awake," I heard him call.

"I'm sorry that bully bloodied you up so bad I didn't expect him to do that," he said stroking my cheek.

"What are you talking about you were the one who did this to me and don't touch me unless your interested in me you sick pervert!" I smacked him away.

"Ouch I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't pull that shit on me you put me threw hell!" I sat up in my bed my vision clearing up.

"I did not! Why would I put my little toy threw hell, he's doing me a favor," he pouted.

"I don't know why don't you tell me?" I asked folding my arms stubbornly.

"I say you're crazy" he whispered licking my ear. I shivered in pleasure trying not to give in, sex was enslavement and love was pain.

"Why don't you reply back to me? Are you un-attracted to me? Mad at me?" He whispered innocently. I squirmed as he wrapped his arms around me and started toying with my body as if trying to find my weakness.

He reached down and snapped the elastic of my underwear and slowly explored my body in that area. When he reached my hips I went wild in his arms.

"Please don't! This is wrong I hate you! You're mean and homophobic, why are you doing this to me?!" I hissed trying my hardest to fight my temptation.

"I don't know why you don't tell me?" he mocked me.

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I woke up to two pair of cold hands wrapped around my stomach, my vision cleared to see Mr. Creeps lifting me up and over his shoulder. I groaned in pain as the bruises on my stomach were jabbed by Mr. Crepsely's boney shoulders.

"You're hurting me!" I whined struggling in his arms.

"Shut up do you want to walk all the way there with the condition you are in?!" he yelled.

"No," I whispered in frustration.

"Darren told me everything and I think he acted very immaturely I am very sorry he just doesn't understand something's, but that doesn't mean I fully understand this situation. You and I need to talk Jade," his voice sounded as if he cared.

Mr. Crepsely opened the door to a very small trailer, inside it contained a small bathroom, a sink and stove, and in the corner was a small bed. The place had the smell of old socks and rotten eggs but I was to tired to care. He laid me down on the single bed, grabbed a chair, and said "So tell me what happened I want to hear your side of the whole story."

I explained everything to the man like he was my best friend or something. I explained my dreams I've been having of Darren, I explained how my feelings for males have been popping out like daises, I explained how I told Darren how I felt about him, and I explained how Darren reacted and how he said gays couldn't be strong. The man just listened and looked at me with concern in his eyes. For the first time in months I felt thankful to the man.

"I can see where Darren is coming from but he still acted immaturely by beating you up to make a point," the old coot replied after I took the last breath of my story.

"You think gays can't be strong, don't tell me you're close minded too?" I sat up a sharp pain weaving threw my body "OUCH!!!" I screamed in pain.

He pushed me back on the bed "Now calm down now I am not taking any sides here I am just saying I know where Darren is coming from by saying that."

"So what exactly do you think?" I challenged looking up into his cold eyes.

"I think you both have good points, Darren is really judgmental by saying that gays cannot fight but on the other hand he is right, there is no room for love in the vampire world. The vampire world is cruel and you have to keep your friends close but your enemies closer. You have a good point because gays can fight I'm sure, just because you like males does not mean you are not strong, you don't need a woman to make you strong." He explained in a calm manner.

"But I want to be loved! I want to love someone and be loved back! But….at the same time isn't love pain or enslavement?" I began to cry once more.

"You are a very confused child but I have no idea how to answer your question, you are going to have to figure it out for yourself," he replied putting his cold hand on my bare shoulder.

"You need your rest I will let you sleep here," and with that Mr. Crepsely left.

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I was back at the orphanage I had two suitcases in my hand and on both sides of me was people from social services. It bothered me how they always had smiles on their faces like they were happy all the time it seemed like they were keeping something from me.

"We can barely feed the kids we have now what makes you think we can take in him!?" I the lady at the desk pounded.

"Nobody else will take him, every single foster family we put him with said they couldn't handle him, he's too what's the word…….depressing?" the social service lady smiled.

"How so?" the lady at the desk asked eyeing me.

"He won't talk or socialize with any one he won't even shake his head yes or no it's like he's trapped in his own little world."

"Well than he shouldn't be a problem for us, he won't have to talk or reply to anything at all," the lady at the desk smiled at me her crooked yellow teeth made me cringe.

After long hours of paper work and talking to every single person in the huge orphanage they led me to a room on the top floor. The room had plain white walls with two single beds and in the middle of the floor was a boy about my age playing with toys.

"I already got a new room mate?" he asked the lady at the desk.

"Yah his name is Jade don't worry he wont be a problem to you," she replied shoving me into the room and shutting the door.

"Hi I'm Jimmy," he smiled standing up.

I looked at him with wide eyes not sure how to react to him.

"Well aren't you going to talk back to me or what? Or are you to good to say something?" he pushed me to the ground.

"I don't like reacting to stupid questions or anything stupid for that matter," I replied glaring at him.

"Well you could at least tell me your name so I know who you are," he put his hands on his hips.

"Jade" I mumbled turning my head away from him.

Jimmy kneeled next to me with a huge smile on his face, "guess what?" he asked with a slight lisp.

"What?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"I think you're cute" he whispered. I went wide-eyed once again not knowing how to react.

"I know its kind of weird…since it seems like most boys like girls but not me, I'm different at least that's what the orphanage people tell me," he put one of his hands on my knees and I smacked him away.

"Well I don't like you back! I don't like anyone!" I backed up into the wall trying to get away from him.

"I don't believe you, you are reacting differently than most boys do, and you're actually blushing" he pointed at my red face and indeed he was right.

"Its ok to be different like me, we can be different together," he backed me up into the corner and I grabbed the walls in desperation.

"Get the hell away from me! You're creepy!" I pushed him away.

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I woke up with a jolt that was it that's why I'm the way I am. It was all little Jimmy's fault he brought it on to me put ideas in my head. Even though it was long ago and I really didn't remember it, it still impacted me greatly.

"Why good morning," I heard a sly voice next to me, I jumped to find Darren sitting in a chair next to me.

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TA DA! Wow this is a hella long chapter for me it took like two hours to write because I put a lot of thinking into it. It's a little angsty but hey tell me what you think!