'A Seriously Jacked Up Day in the World of Naruto'
By: Black Claided Cat
Betaed by the awesome -Moon'sRain-
Gaara-kun
*Enter small roll play*
"Muhuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! I have finally set up all of the explosives to blow up SUNA!!!!" cackled a maniac part of author's brain, named Hakumei.
Hakumei, standing on the top of a canyon on the outskirts on Suna, was laughing to the sky. She had finally set up all of the explosives that she had created, for the purpose of blowing up the Kazekage's precious city.
"I shall now push down on this lever and cause Suna to go up in flames! Literally," the psycho yelled, while leaning over a menacing looking red box with a black handle and a long black cord that disappeared off the screen. (Like the one in cartoons)
She huffed on both of her hands, placed them on the black handle.
Pushed down…
And heard nothing.
"What!? Isn't there suppose to be a large booming noise with tons of screams?!" Hakumei screamed.
"I heard nothing! Not even a small click!"
All of a sudden a light bulb went off in her brain. Hakumei went off to follow the menacing black cord. After a while, she spotted an armadillo chewing on the wire.
"What the hell? I have to deal with an armadillo now!?"
The said armadillo looked up and growled at her, with white foam coming from its mouth.
"Great, now I have to deal with a rabid armadillo."
Just after that sentence, the armadillo lunged at Hakumei with its teeth bared. She jumped out of the way just in time to dodge the attack, but the armadillo just lunged again at her. Hakumei retaliated with throwing a kunai knife at it, hitting its shell and causing it to scratch.
The armadillo paused to a moment, looked at its shell, looked back and jumped on Hakumei. She grabbed it by its tail and swung it a far distance… only to have the little rabid beast to come back and try to bite her on her leg.
"What's with my luck today?! It's just rotten," she growled as she kicked the armadillo in the nose, causing it to reel back from the contact. The armadillo snorted a little, but turned around and scampered off.
Hakumei sweat dropped, thinking that the little bugger was a wussy and couldn't take a hit. She turned around and looked at the bitten wire, huffing about having to fix it before destroying Suna.
She walked over to it and cut off the safety cover, exposing the wires. Hakumei then fixed the wires so they stood out more, and connected the two wires.
*BOOOOOOM*
A large explosion happened in the distance, followed by a large mushroom cloud of dirt and debris, followed by a large unison of screams, shouts and yells. The screams were cut off almost immediately by another large blast, caused by everyone's favorite psycho (Citizens of Suna: No one likes her!!!!), and another large mushroom cloud.
This process repeated a few more times, each in different areas of Suna, until the entire city lay in ruins. "Yes! My dream of blowing up Suna has finally been accomplished," shouted Hakumei.
She just grinned and made her way to see the destruction that is now Suna.
*Minutes later with Hakumei using her super awesome ninja powers*
The city of Suna was a complete mess, debris was everywhere, bodies littered the ground, and the smell of smoke and death filled the air. Hakumei was very pleased with the outcome, and turned to leave the fallen city, only to be stopped by a voice.
"Who are you?"
It was the Kazekage! Oh joy to the world, Hakumei now had the chance to kidnap him and torture him!
She just looked at Gaara and said, "Your worst nightmare!" (Because she had always wanted to say that.)
Anyway, back on topic, Hakumei kidnapped Gaara into her secret torture lair so she can… like… torture him… *Insert sweat drop here* -_-'
*Seconds later in the Super Awesome Torture Lair*
Gaara was tied to a wall, and an evil Hakumei was cackling with laughter! Not a good sign…
Anyway! What Hakumei wanted to do was scare the Kazekage! And she knew that it wasn't going to be easy! So she brought in the heavy stuff!
"Okay, I got the chainsaw, check. Super awesome hurting poison? Double check. Electric eel, check. 1000 pound pissed off lion?" She thought a moment, while pacing with a clipboard, Wait, I have a lion? Cool! Before saying check to that, too.
"Okay, the rabid armadillo from earlier? C-H-E-C-K! The secret weapon of awesomeness? Super check!"
By that point, Hakumei's craziness was starting to freak him out. Maybe even scare him. But either way he did not like the way the situation was going. He opened his mouth to say something. But she just snapped at him saying something on the lines of 'I can't concentrate when the kidnapped person starts talking'.
Scratch that, she did scare him.
But not in the way she hoped. Yet…
"Okay, Gaara-kun! Let's get this show on the road!"
Said Gaara nearly pissed his pants…
*Hours and hours later in the Super Awesome Torture Lair"
"Why is almost nothing working?! I was sure he'd crack when the rabid armadillo bit him in the buttocks muscle!!!" Hakumei yelled in frustration.
The truth was Gaara-kun was so petrified that he couldn't move, or do anything.
"Okay, I think it's time… TO BRING OUT THE SECRET WEPON OF SUPER AWSOMENESS!" Hakumei screamed.
"Okay, now to just find it," she muttered as she unlocked a door that led to an oversized closet.
She searched through it, and searched through it. Until…. She found it…
"Yes! I finally found my limited edition Uchiha Itachi trading card! Squeee! I've missed you so," she said hugging it. "Okay, now to find the secret weapon of super awesomeness."
She did eventually find it.
"Okay," she said while bringing out a big cardboard box with warning tape all over it, "it's time to meet your demise."
Gaara could only look in horror. Hakumei opened the box, only to reveal…
A lot of pink and fluffy bunnies…
Hakumei just grabbed a whole bunch and threw them at Gaara-kun. Only to have him burn and sizzle at the touch…
"I should have done that in the beginning!" Hakumei said, as she swept up the burnt and charcoaled pieces of Gaara.
*To be continued...*
Once Gaara-kun gets reincarnated! And Hakumei finished cleaning up her Super Awesome Torture Lair…
A/N: Okay, I'm going to refer this story as… JUD. As in Jacked Up Day… 'Cuz I don't really want to call it 'A Seriously Jacked Up Day in the World of Naruto' while I'm talking about it. Nor do I want to call it 'SJUDWN' 'cuz that's too long, too. I hope you liked this chapter!
Emogirl1790 inspired this chapter! And the last one, actually. I actually had the idea for this in a conversation we had the other day. If you like this story, go check out her story 'Natsuki' it's super awesome and I really like it!
And don't forget to review!
B/N: OMG!!! LMAO!! BUNNIES!! (P.s., you don't have to delete this note on the story. But you might want to delete this little note in parenthesis lol) (A/N But I'm not!) omg funny as hell twin. I have to say, I wanna torture Gaara now. Awesome.
