Disclaimer: See Chapters 1 & 2
Authors Note: Okay boys and girls, Chapter 3. This wraps up my second foray into crack!fic. Had a good time writing it. Hope you had a good time reading it. Attention "regulars", please read the end A/N.
Spoilers: None, but as before, MAJOR MARY SUE MOMNETS AHEAD. Can't say I didn't warn ya!
Condo complex, Friday 2335hrs
LT was back at his position watching out the window and playing solitaire. M E was pacing. Guitar music was coming softly from a pair of small speakers attached to LT's iPod. M E stopped pacing.
"What's that you're listening to?"
LT, who had been concentrating on his cards, looked up blankly.
"Say?"
"I said, what's that you're listening to?"
"Oh. Segovia. Bach's Cello Suite #1 modified for guitar. It's one of my favorite pieces of his work."
"It's nice."
"Uh, huh. Why don't you sit down and relax?"
"I can't. Where do you suppose they are?"
"Dunno, Mom. Is it past curfew or something? Why don't you just call Ziva and ask."
M E looked at him and stuck out her tongue.
"I wouldn't want to spoil any mood that might be building."
LT laughed.
"Then why not sit down and relax?"
M E muttered something inaudible and probably x-rated. She moved closer to the window.
"DON'T go near the window!"
M E stopped dead in her tracks, jaw dropping.
"Wow that was very Gibbs-like."
LT looked slightly embarrassed.
"Sorry. If you get too close to the window, you'll either cast a shadow or be backlit. There's not supposed to be anyone in here."
M E grinned.
"Where'd that voice come from?"
LT shrugged.
"Ah, it's what the Boss calls my 'cop voice'. I've heard it called 'command voice' too. Don't use it much anymore."
As they were speaking a convertible with the top down moved into the complex. LT put down his cards.
"Showtime."
The Mustang, 2335hrs
Ziva David was buzzed. The mojito's at Doc Ford's were very good. She'd had two before dinner and two more during. Since he was driving Tony had restricted himself to one Havana Rum Punch. They'd talked easily during dinner. Neither had brought up last night's nightmare. But Ziva remembered the feeling of Tony's arms surrounding her. She smirked.
Tonight, I'll be the one doing the surrounding.
Condo complex, 2340hrs
LT and M E had watched Tony and Ziva walk into the condo their arms around each other. M E was practically vibrating with happiness, a big grin on her face.
"Yes! It's gonna happen. I can feel it."
LT smiled at his friend
I sure hope so.
LT stood and started gathering up his stuff.
"Okay, M E, lets…."
A black Lincoln Town Car pulled into the lot and stopped near the stairway to LT's condo. Three men got out and walked resolutely up the steps.
This can't be good.
M E looked at him curiously.
"What's wrong Seamus?"
LT gestured towards the window.
"Houston, we have a problem."
The three men, after a short delay were admitted to the condo. M E whirled around and started to run.
"Dammit M E! Come back here."
By the time LT got out of the condo M E was passing the limo. The driver got out of the car and just reached the front bumper as LT passed.
"Just get back in your car there Poindexter. Nobody'll get hurt that way.
The driver took one look at LT, shrugged and got back in the car.
LT reached his condo just as M E entered.
This is not going to end well.
LT's condo, 2345hrs
Ziva and Tony were sitting on the couch, their clothes somewhat askew. M E was standing, breathing heavily. The three men were grouped together opposite the couch. Two in suits, carrying briefcases. The third, tanned and casually attired was empty handed. LT's eyes widened slightly when he recognized the casually attired man.
Holy Crap!
Tony looked up from the couch, his face a mixture of confusion and relief.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you're here LT. Do you know what this guy was just saying?"
"Yeah, Tony, I think I do. Take your partner and go out on the lanai. Shut the door."
"But LT….."
"DINOZZO. LANAI. NOW."
Tony rose automatically, pulling Ziva up.
"On it, Bo…..LT."
Damn, for a second there he sounded just like Gibbs.
The two agents went out, Tony closing the door.
LT turned to the casually attired man.
"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company Mr. Brennan?"
M E's head snapped around.
"WHAT?"
Shane Brennan gave LT a smirk.
"You recognized me then?"
"Oh yeah. When I started this I looked up pictures of you and the two Don's. Know your enemy."
M E growled and took a step forward reaching inside her trench coat. LT grabbed her by the elbow.
"Siddown M E. Leave the bullwhip alone."
At the word "bullwhip" the eyes of the two 'suits' got very large. Brennan laughed lightly.
"My sources said she carried one. Didn't really believe it."
LT grinned wolfishly.
"You better believe it. You also better believe I'm the only one between you and it. So what's on your mind Shane-o."
Brennan grimaced.
"You and your rag tag bunch of TIVA supporters. I have here, restraining orders for the lot of you."
As Brennan held out his hand, the 'suits' pulled sheaf's of paper from their briefcases. They handed them to Brennan who then handed them to LT.
"Duly served, as witnessed by Mr. Howard and Mr. Fine of the law firm of Nastee, Brutish and Shorte. You are now restrained from having any contact with any NCIS characters. If you do, you'll be liable to arrest."
M E looked shell shocked.
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, but I am, dear lady. I didn't come all the way here from Bel Air to make idle threats.
At the mention of Bel Air, LT saw a glint in M E's eyes.
Bad move Shane-o.
Brennan continued.
"If 'the Fan' or any of her minions try anything further I will sue you all. TIVA will happen when the writers say it will, not before. Our business is completed. Have a pleasant evening."
The three men left. LT could see the wheels turning in M E's head. He groaned inwardly.
Of course you know, this means war!
Two weeks later, Bel Air CA, 0320hrs
The car moved slowly down the street paralleling a high wall. When it reached a shadowed area it stopped. The driver wearing a trench coat and black knit cap got out. The driver looked around carefully. Apparently finding nothing threatening, the driver moved to the trunk, removing a small step ladder and a large mat. The driver placed the step ladder at the base of the wall, grabbed the mat and climbed to the top step. The top of the wall was two feet out of hands reach. A female voice cursed. The woman tossed the mat so it covered the top of the wall. She then jumped a little grabbing the top of the wall. She started to pull herself up. A voice came out of the shadows.
"At least you learned to cover your hair."
At the sound of the voice, the woman lost her grip. She fell hitting the ground hard.
"Goddammit Seamus, stop doing that. There's no padding with this outfit ya know."
LT chuckled as he stepped out of the shadows to help his friend to her feet. He was dressed in black jeans, long sleeved black polo shirt and black Reboks.
As M E gained her feet she resisted the urge to rub her backside.
LT smirked.
"Go ahead. I promise not to say anything."
M E grinned and rubbed her backside.
"elm ratted me out didn't she?"
LT smiled.
"If you mean one good friend told another good friend that a third good friend was going to do something incredibly stupid, then yes, she ratted you out."
"Who else is here?"
"Just me. We figured if it turned to shit that would keep the damage to a minimum. Listen, we gotta go. The private security patrol will be here in about five minutes. I really don't want to explain to a couple of rent-a-cops what I'm doing standing next to the wall of a TV producer's house with a step ladder and a woman of ,ehrm, 'mature years' in a dom outfit."
"How do you know it'll be five minutes?"
"They've been passing every half hour since I got here."
"How long have you been waiting?"
"Since midnight."
As he had been talking LT loaded the ladder and mat in the trunk. He held out his hand.
"Keys, please."
M E's shoulders slumped as she handed over her keys.
"Well, where's your car?"
LT hooked his thumb over his shoulder.
"Parked in an all night drug store lot about a mile and a half that way."
They got in M E's car and drove off as headlights came around the corner behind them.
LT looked at his watch.
"Just like clockwork. Burglars love routine."
M E looked at her friend.
"So let me get this straight. You parked a mile and a half away, walked here and waited three and a half hours for me to show up?"
"Uh, huh."
"How did you know where I'd stop?"
"'Cause it's where I'd try to go over."
"What are we going to do now?"
"We're gonna stop at my car and get my 'go' bag. Then we're going to stop at your hotel and you're gonna change. Then we're going to the airport where we're turning in this rental and waiting for our flight outta here."
"Our flight?"
"Yeah I booked my return on your flight. We're even gonna be seatmates."
"What about your car?"
"I borrowed it from a guy I used to work with who is retired and lives here. I'll leave the key under the mat and lock it. He's got another key. He'll pick it up later today."
M E sighed.
"I really was hoping to get a crack at Brennan."
"It definitely would have been interesting M E."
"You said we were going to be seatmates?"
"Yes, I did."
"Then you better not snore."
"Yes, Ma'am."
A/N: I know, I know. No TIVA. Well, I don't think you fans are gonna get any till Mr. Brennan is good and ready. I wrote this story as a present to all my "regulars". Sort of a reward for putting up with me being a jerk last month. It was especially for elflordsmistress, M E Wofford, USAFCHIEF & BAMACRUSH. Now I'm going back to my Mike stories and whatever else happens to invade my brain next. See ya around the campus. Oh yeah I almost forgot. A review would be nice.
