Chapter Three

I spend a lot of my time at the skate park, and the dance studio. It's week two of my living in Forks. School is now bearable. Although I am two grades higher than I should be, people here treated me just like I was their age, which I didn't expect seeing as this is such a small town. I had made friends with some people in my year now a couple of girls - AJ (Alexandra-Jane is her real name), Isla and Maddie. And some guy friends called Bradin, Cory and Jamie. The three girls are dating the three guys, which made it easier for me to be around the guys knowing what they think about me, because that way I know they know. I wouldn't cheat on my friends with them.

When I'm not at school or doing homework, I'm either at the dance studios working my butt off, or at the skate park with Jacob. I had spent at least an hour with Jacob every single day for the past two weeks. I could tell that he wasn't just going to give up on me and let me walk away from him no matter how many times I tried to tell him I'm not good for him. It just made him more interested.

He watches me, like he is now, like he's trying to figure something out. Like he knows I'm keeping my whole life away from him on purpose. Obviously I am, but he doesn't know that for sure.

"Why do you watch me like that?" I asked as we walked around the huge park on our now daily walk.

"You interest me… in a way that no one else has before," he admitted.

I hadn't peeked into Jacobs's brain. I wanted to very badly. But I got the feeling he would know I was there. Stupid I know. But it stopped me; it made me cautious of him. Wary even. "Why?" I asked him.

"Sometimes I'm not sure," he answered thoughtfully. "But then others, when you're talking to me, and then you abruptly stop as if you've said too much, or as if you're scared to tell me the full truth. It makes me wonder about you, what could you possibly be keeping from me?" it wasn't a question he was asking me, it was one he was asking himself. And then he looked at me, as if I might be inclined to tell him right now.

I looked at him for a while contemplating what I should say to that. "I'm not scared to tell you," I whispered, my whisper barely audible. He looked at me confused, I could sense the question, and so I answered it before he asked it. "I don't trust people…" I paused. "And that's all you're getting from me, I'm not explaining".

He smiled, understanding. "That's all I want for now," his voice jubilant yet protective. I sensed that he could sense the horror and dismay behind my secrets. And I also sensed that I would tell him eventually. When I wanted to, and when I trusted him enough to, and I could sense that that day would come, no matter how badly I wished it wouldn't.

He thought for a moment. "You'll tell me one day," He said sure of himself. "I know that you will. I can tell". He looked at me then, smiling. "You know it too… I can't imagine what it would be like now, going a day without seeing you I mean. You've kept me going since I came back, you made it bearable for me to be here, now that she's definitely not mine, I mean." He stopped talking. Obviously he was talking about Bella.

Bella is his best friend. He'd fallen in love with her, and she had with him, but it was too late for them, Bella had already fallen in love with someone else. It was too strong for her to fight, and she didn't want to either. Edward Cullen is one of the most beautiful beings in the world. Just like any other vampire, he has almost paper white skin, purple circles under his eyes, and he is amazingly beautiful, perfect in everyway, except the fact that he has a thirst for human blood. Even if he denies it, just like his family and my brother now, it is still there, and it always will be. Obviously Jacob didn't know that I knew about Edward's secret. He would never tell me either, it would be me who would tell him that I knew. I was sure of that.

I smiled at Jacob; I had known that, I had sensed it. I hadn't ever devoted myself to trying to stitch one person's broken heart back together before. It was a challenge, and I like a challenge. "Jake…" He looked down at me, tearing away from his upsetting thoughts. "You will be okay with them one day you know… You will find the right girl for you, the one girl you won't be able to deny. Either you will find her, or she will find you." I paused for a moment to make sure he was listening to my logic. He was. "Jake… Even if you're not consciously looking for her, you are looking - you always will be looking until you finally find her. Don't give up yet."

I took a deep breath as I finished. "How do you know?" he asked, murmuring.

"I know a lot more than normal people can even begin to believe," I told him. I stopped abruptly. He looked at me, the same look on his face. The look that told me he knew I thought I had said too much. "The problem I have around you is that I feel too comfortable. I say too much too often, I can't keep doing that. But you take me off guard, and it just slips out." I sighed.

"I can see where that could be a problem, I have the same problem myself around you, you know," He smiled at me. "One day…" he promised. And I knew exactly what he meant. One day he would know what I was trying so hard to keep from him. "Soon," He added when he saw my wry face.

I shook my head then. "No Jake, not soon. Not ever." I pleaded.

"How do you expect us to be friends, when it's blatantly obvious that you're keeping something huge from me? I know you don't trust people, Zara I get that, but one day you will trust me, I promise you that."

"Don't promise me something you can't keep Jacob. A promise is one of the most important things to me, you break that, you lose all the trust I have in you," I warned.

"I'm not planning to break my promise," he almost whispered back.

I looked at the ground then. Something else I could sense from Jacob, he never breaks the promises he means to make, the ones that mean something to him. The ones that have a purpose beyond anything he could ever begin to put into words.

I didn't know what to say to him, so I didn't. He could tell I wasn't sure what to say, so he stepped in for me. "You may not completely trust me yet Zara, but whatever you're keeping from me, can't be half as bad as what I'm keeping from you." He said halfheartedly.

"So tell me what you're keeping from me, and I'll let you know whether it's worse." I said playfully.

"Can't do that, against the rules." And he genuinely looked unhappy about that. "You know, there's something about you, they way you say things, it's like sometimes, I think you know more about me than what I have told you." His voice almost a whisper.

I smiled at him, not in alarm. That's also where I say too much. "You'd be surprised at what I know." I said calmly, but not looking at his face.

"Maybe," he said. "We'll have to see about that won't we?"

"I guess we will." I said, but my tone was serious, and he caught on. "I have to go," I said abruptly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow". I smiled. He smiled back and pulled me into a hug. Our first ever hug.

I shouldn't feel as happy about it as I do. His arms wrapped tightly around me. Not too low or too high up my back. In a place that I knew nothing was going to happen to me. But at that second, the moment I thought I was safe with him; his hand slipped a little bit. I know it sounds stupid. He didn't know. But my top had been pulled up as I reached up to hug him, and so Jacobs hand now rested upon my bare skin in which one of my many scars were visible.

The second he touched it I froze, as still as a statue. Shocked in horror, whilst remembering how he (not Jacob) had given me those scars. Jacob noticed my unreal stillness. "Is something wrong?" He breathed in my ear.

"Jake… can you move your hand?" I asked. He could hear the fear in my voice, it was clear.

He felt him look down; he saw the scars then; and instantly moved the hand which covered one of them. "Sorry." He mumbled in my ear, and he pulled me tighter into his chest.

I thought I was about to break down right there and then and cry. I was close. I knew that, and Jacob could sense it too. I tried to pull myself together. I whispered back in his ear, "I'm broken Jacob, forget me."

"I'll never forget you," He said back, stronger this time. "You're helping me heal slowly. I hope I can do the same for you."

"It's different for me." I was still whispering.

"How - …" He cut off then, he realized it was one of the huge things I had been keeping from him.

"It's never visible to people, until they see the scars is it?" It was more of a statement than a question. I pulled away from him. "I have to go," I said and hurried off in the direction of my car.