A/N: So, I was dying to post. I know, so much for keeping my updates regular. Oh well…I don't know when my next update will be, though. I haven't even started the next chapter, but it'll go quick because I am dying to finish/publish chapter five (I wrote ahead; I'm horrible). Three will be within a week, I swear…

I am loving this story more and more with each detail I add and each chapter I outline. I just hope you all end up loving it half as much as I do.

Another fun thing is picking out songs for the chapters…so if you know a song that reminds you of one of the ships or the story or you just like it, hit me up! I'd appreciate suggestions. (Stop and Stare is by OneRepublic. It was beyond difficult to pick one part of the song to use, and I really suggest listening to the song in its entirety because it just fits so perfectly for this chapter. At least, IMO.)

And thanks for the reviews! The more I get, the more driven I am to write…just saying…haha.

To the anon who said that Hermione with anyone but Ron is wrong…WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE! You don't even know!

To the rest of you…pretty much just wait for chapter five. It's gonna be SICK.

Dang. So much for not liking long author's notes…I gotta compensate for the lack of Ron, I suppose…enjoy!


This town is colder now; I think it's sick of us.

It's time to make our move. I'm shaking off the rust.

I've got my heart set on anywhere but here.

I'm staring down myself, counting up the years.


After hours of celebrating with the family, I finally decided it was time to get home. Charlie managed to free himself from his nieces' clutches and, after congratulating half the family again, we apparated to our little cottage from the front lawn.

We had barely stepped inside when Charlie grabbed me and turned me to face him, pressing his lips firmly to mine. I threw my arms around his neck and responded enthusiastically, stroking the back of his neck with my finger tips. We walked forward (or, in my case, backward) until we found the sofa with our legs and fell back onto it.

"I've been dying to get you home for hours," Charlie whispered as he kissed behind my ear, sending shivers down my entire body. I moaned and spread my legs just enough for him to lie comfortably between them.

"I could tell...you kept looking at me...like...oh, gosh...you were undressing me-ah...in your mind."

Charlie brought his face up from my collar bone and grinned wickedly. "I was. And now," he said, undoing the first button on my top, "I can." The second button. "For real."

We kissed deeply for a few moments before he finally lifted his face away from mine, gazing into my eyes as he breathed heavily. I ran my thumbs over his very thin beard, which made him look more incredibly sexy and alluring than ever before, and then moved them down his neck to rest on his broad shoulders.

"Hermione, I want to tell you something," he said softly, kissing my forehead. "Don't freak out, okay?"

I already knew what he was going to say. My heart cringed in anticipation, wondering what I could possibly say to get out of it before it got too in depth. "Hmm?" I asked, pretending I didn't know what was coming.

Charlie took in a deep breath. "I want to have a baby with you."

And there it was. I bit my lower lip, contemplating the best route to go. "Charlie-"

"I know, we've kinda talked about it before," he cut in quickly. "But you always said you wanted kids. And you know I want them. It won't be long before Mum starts bugging us about it, either, so why not just get it out of the way?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to think. I couldn't possibly get my thoughts together when I was staring into his warm, brown eyes. "It's not that I don't want children."

"Then what is it?"

I snapped my eyes back open, ready to present my defense. "Well, all your family is having them now. Don't you think that'd make it a bit chaotic?"

Charlie laughed. "We're Weasleys. We know how to handle chaotic, especially when it comes to a room full of children."

"But it's Audrey and Percy's first, and Ginny and George are already taking the spotlight off of them," I spilled quickly. "And I don't want to have to share that with someone else for my first child, much less three other people. I just...I think we should wait a bit longer. Just a year."

Charlie contemplated this. "A year? And then what, we get with it, or we reevaluate?"

"Well, reevaluate, of course," I said and he frowned. I quickly added, "And if you're ready, then we'll just jump in, right then. But just think; a year could make all the difference. We'd have all of your siblings there for advice, and none them will be having another that quickly, that's for sure, so we'd have all the attention on our baby. And we've only been married a year, Charlie. I want to enjoy being married just a bit longer. I want to be able to come home and do all this without worrying about someone crying or bursting in at any second."

After a few moments of pondering, Charlie sighed and smiled sweetly at me. "You and your brilliance. That plan does have a nice ring to it...I do like being able to do this," he paused and kissed me, "whenever I feel like."

"See?" I told him triumphantly. "Just a year. A year can make all the difference."

"That it can. Alright, you win. But in one year, you'd better be ready. I'm going to impregnate the shit out of you."

"Charlie!" I laughed at the oddity of what he'd just said. "I can't believe you said that. It doesn't even make sense."

He laughed with me. "It's because you jumble my brain. I never know what I'm saying around you."

He kissed me again, and I pulled his head as close to mine as I possibly could as our tongues danced against one another's. "I love you so much," he whispered, stroking my cheek and leaning back in for more.

"We'd better get upstairs," I finally suggested with ragged breath. "I don't think I can contain myself much longer. And I know you can't."

Charlie snickered. "Yes, alright then." We sat up and I kissed him again. I moved to stand and he pulled me back down to lie on top of him. We didn't get up again for several hours.


"If you work through lunch one more time, I'm going to ask your supervisor to force you on vacation."

I glanced up at Harry from the report I'd been skimming through since ten that morning. "I haven't got much more to do. Just another three pages-"

"And I've only got forty minutes left on my lunch break," Harry said, snatching the file away from me. "Come on, it'll be here when you get back. I promise."

Reluctantly, I stowed the file away in a drawer, locked it, and followed him out of my office, through a few corridors, and into the elevator. We liked to take our lunch together at least once a week to keep up with each other. Usually, we hit up a Muggle restaurant and ogled over pictures of James or dissected each other's work load. Harry swore my insight was the reason they'd put several people in Azkaban, but I figured he always exaggerated exactly how helpful I was.

"I was thinking Ruben's today," Harry said as we stepped in line for a fireplace. "I'm dying for some of those ribs."

"Oh, that does sound good," I admitted. "Yes, let's do that then. I've been craving those for awhile, too."

We stepped into the first alley we could in the streets of London and apparated into another a few blocks away. A few people gave us funny looks when we stepped onto the street, obviously wondering why a well dressed couple of people were coming out of an alley way (and probably how we'd gotten there in the first place). We kept to our business though and headed inside Ruben's. It was a nice little diner with some of the best food I'd had since the days of Hogwarts feasts. Harry and I were frequent visitors.

"Alrigh', you two?" Karen, the head waitress, asked with a smile. "It's been abou' two weeks since I last seen you in here. Though' somethin' mighta happened to ya!"

"Just busy with work," Harry informed her with a wave of his hand. "And Hermione here has taken to working through her lunch breaks."

Karen shook her head. "Won' do ya any good, tha' won'. Ya need a break e'ry now an' again, missy." She grinned toothily as we squeezed ourselves into a booth by the window. "An' you know I like to have you two come an' visit me. Keeps thin's lively, havin' regulars to talk to."

I smiled apologetically. "Well, I'll just have to start taking my lunch on time, then, I suppose. I can't have you cooped up here without any form of entertainment."

"Now, that's wha' I like to hear!" Karen said happily. "Just a mo', I'll get your drinks. And you'll be havin' the ribs today?"

She was back with our drinks in a matter of seconds and then headed off to place our order in the kitchen. I stirred my soda with my straw, watching the bubbles fizz throughout.

"How have you been, Hermione?" Harry asked finally.

"Fine, just fine," I answered lazily. "And how-"

"Really," he said, lowering his voice. "How have you been really?"

I sighed. It was nearly impossible to hide anything from Harry. He knew me all too well, and after fourteen years of friendship, it wasn't too surprising that he did.

"Well...better than I was Saturday," I admitted. "I haven't had much time to really dwell on anything lately. What with work and now looking for a dog-"

"Are you really going to get one?" Harry asked excitedly, swirling his straw as I was. "You know, if you do, you'll have to have a word with Ginny about it. She still not entirely sold on the idea."

Harry wanted a dog so badly that it almost hurt to hear him talk about it. Before James came around, Ginny had been eager to get a pet, but the second she found out she was pregnant, the search came to a screeching halt. I could understand it. Why spend the next few months training a puppy when you already had the stress of having a child on your shoulders? I thought she might have softened a bit by now, what with James being older and able to at least sleep through the night and hold his own bottle. Now that she was pregnant again, though, I wondered if Harry was wasting his time trying to convince her.

"Of course I will," I told him. "I think it'd be great for James. He'd learn a lot from growing up alongside a dog. And when he's older, it'll teach a bit of responsibility. Feeding it, letting it out, going on walks, you know."

Harry nodded. "I hadn't even thought of that. I'll be sure to bring up that point tonight."

He pulled his straw out of the glass, one of his fingers covering the top end, and dropped some pop into his mouth. "I love that trick."

I smiled, remembering once, a long time ago, when Harry and I had tried to teach Ron to do it. It was simple, really. You cover your straw with your finger at the top and then remove it when you get it to your mouth. He had kept moving his finger at the wrong time, spilling his water all over the table. Finally too frustrated to continue, he threw out his water in the sink, Harry and I rolling around in laughter at his failed attempts.

"Charlie wants to have a baby," I admitted finally, propping my head up with one hand.

Harry looked a bit shocked, but recovered quickly. "And?"

I sighed. "And I told him to wait a year."

"Why a year?" Harry asked in confusion. I repeated all my reasons to Harry, who nodded in approval.

"That sounds solid."

"And..."

"And?"

"I don't think I'm ready," I confessed. "I don't think I can..." I couldn't go on.

Harry placed his hand on mine. "Hermione, you would be a fantastic mother. Any child would be lucky and proud to have you as a parent."

I laughed shakily and shook my head. "No. No, a child deserves a mother who's prepared, who-who really wants them there. For the right reasons, I mean."

"The right reasons?" Harry laughed. "Are there right reasons? Certainly there are wrong reasons, but right ones?"

"Well," I said hesitantly. "I mean, I always wanted children before. I figured it was just something that would come with time, something you would do when it was right. I figured I'd just know when. The same way I thought it would be with getting married. Sort of like the biological clock ticking. But now..." I shrugged. "It doesn't seem like some stepping stone I'm meant to pass through in life anymore. It just seems like...like something I feel that I have to do. I would be doing it because I felt like it was the next step in a normal life. Not the next step in my life."

Harry was silent. I was afraid I had offended him, and opened my mouth to apologize. "No." He held up a hand to stop me. "I'm gathering my thoughts, hang on." It was a few more painfully quiet minutes before he spoke again. "Do you think it's possible that the way you feel...well, that it might be a good enough reason?" I gaped at him. "Really. You know that if you had a baby, you wouldn't be able to do anything but love them. It might be just what you need. It'd be a reason to move on."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but it made sense. Maybe, he was saying, maybe it wasn't that I needed to fully move on before I had a child. Maybe I needed to have a child before I could fully move on. This logic was so backwards from what I'd been thinking all along that I had difficult time wrapping my head around it.

"I see what you're saying," I told him finally. "And maybe you're right. But either way, now is definitely not the right time."

"What makes you so sure?" Harry asked before he sipped his drink.

"For starters, everyone is having a baby right now. And this may make me sound incredibly selfish, but I want my children's births to be something special, not mulled together with a bunch of other family birthdays. Plus, the way things are going in the office, they can't afford to have another person leave the department anytime soon. There's just so much going-don't you shake your head at me, Harry Potter!"

But he continued to do so. "Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me."

"Legitimate excuses," I corrected him. He snorted. "Not that my reproductive choices are really any of your business."

"Hey," Harry said, a bit of anger starting to flare in his eyes as he fought to keep calm. "You started this conversation."

I sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. How much longer are these ribs going to be? I can't be late getting back."

We kept the conversation light for the rest of lunch, though the silence prevailed once our ribs arrived. Satisfied and down to our last five minutes, we said goodbye to Karen, promising to return again before the week was up, and headed back to the Ministry.

The rest of the day passed quite slowly. More reports to skim, cases to research, reports to file. I was relieved when my boss let me out at 4:30 for putting in "exceptional effort" for the day. It was a particularly lovely day outside, too. Not too hot, which was more than I could ask of late June. I decided to walk a few blocks to the Leaky Cauldron, where I ordered a butterbeer and then disappeared into Diagon Alley.

The street was less crowded than usual. I was glad the Hogwarts letters had yet to arrive, or the place would have been packed. I passed a few shops filled with Witches, Wizards, and their children without recognizing a single soul-until I literally ran into a familiar tall body.

"Sorry, Hermione," Dean Thomas apologized with a grin. "Didn't see you there. How have you been?"

"Oh, hi, Dean," I said cheerily. It had been ages since I'd seen my fellow Gryffindor. He looked better than I'd ever seen him. Still tall, dark, and handsome. A few young witches were giggling and pointing with dreamy eyes from a table at Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor. "I've been pretty good, actually. How is Parvati? It's been far too long since I've seen either of you! Has she had the baby yet?"

"She's fantastic, and yeah, actually," Dean chirped, reaching for his wallet. "Here, I've got pictures-a girl, we've named her Zoe-"

I spent a few minutes catching up with Dean after we shuffled off to the side of the sidewalk, out of the traffic of the street. He glowed when he showed me pictures of his and Parvati's new daughter. Is that how it's going to be? I wondered to myself. Everyone popping out children left and right? A new baby announced every time I see someone from school? It was hardly plausible to me that we could all be adults already. And yet, here we were, paying bills, getting married, and reproducing. I seemed to be the only one who wished to go back to a simpler time when my biggest concern was memorizing antidote formulas for Slughorn's class.

Finally, Dean excused himself, obviously anxious to get back to his new little family. "It was great seeing you! Owl me sometime, we'll do lunch, yeah?"

I promised to do this (though I had no intention of doing so anytime soon) and set off again up the street, through the thinning crowd, all the way to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

A few witches and wizards accompanying their younger children were scattered among eager and bubbly teenagers, giggling at patented daydreams, stocking up on puking pastilles, and ogling at pygmy puffs. It didn't take me long to spot my brother-in-law, who was giving a few employees instructions behind the counter. He waved them away when he saw me and smiled brightly.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite sister-in-law!"

"Don't you let the others hear you say that," I said quietly, welcoming his hug. George gave very good hugs. I think he knew better than most that it was important to show people just how much you care about them all the time and he did so with his hugs.

"Afraid Harry will get jealous?" he asked and I laughed out loud. "Alright, I'll be careful not to let him know. If he asks, for whatever reason, who my favorite sister-in-law is, tell him it's him."

"Oh, stop," I giggled after I pulled out of his hug.

"Rough day?" It made me sad that George only ever thought I visited him because I was upset. It made me even sadder that it was true. Of course, it wasn't because I never wanted to visit him when I was happy; it was just that it was so rare for me to be happy in the first place.

"Not really. I had lunch with Harry. They let me off a bit early."

"Good," George nearly yelled. "As much as you do there, they'd better start doing that more often. How long have you been there anyway, two years?"

"Nearly," I sighed, hardly able to believe I'd been working in the branch of law involving magical creatures. I'd made quite of headway for house elves when I started off, though the laws could still use loads of work. I'd even helped out with some standard regulations for breeding and anti-cruelty laws before this goblin strike had started up a few months ago. Luckily, the goblins at Gringotts ran the bank themselves and didn't bother with the mess. It was the goblins we associated with to have crafts made that were giving us a hard time. The Ministry needed several things only goblins could make successfully, and several departments were starting to suffer from the lack of cooperation.

"I just wish we could finally clear up this mess so we could get back to regulating other laws. We should be pressing forward for other creatures, not taking steps backward. Every time we get close, someone makes a blunder, and it's back to square one."

"Sounds rough," George said sympathetically. "I dunno how you do it, dealing with all of those Idiots at the Ministry. I mean, they're certainly better than what was there a couple years ago," he admitted. "But some of them are just-hey, you pocket those, you'll be paying in more than gold tomorrow," he shouted at a couple young teens by the puking pastilles.

"What happens if they steal those?" I asked curiously.

George shrugged, moving back to his original position behind the counter. "Heck if I remember. Probably the bat bogey, if they're some of the ones Ginny jinxed."

I winced inwardly. "Ouch. So how've things been at the shop?"

"Same old, same old," George said, glancing around. "Not really much going on. Haven't had much time to work on new products with little Freddie walking now, and then with the new baby-" He stopped and grinned, seeing something in my expression. "Weird, isn't it? Being old enough to have children?"

"It's weird that George Weasley is mature enough to have children," I scoffed.

He laughed. "Believe me, I'm not. No, if you want weird, just wait until you have your own. It's the weirdest feeling when you wake up and remember you have children." I groaned slightly. "Ooooh, touchy subject? Do tell." He put his head in his hands and propped them up with his elbows, watching me intensely.

"It's not a touchy subject," I snapped. He gave me a knowing look. "Well, I just hashed through the details with Harry earlier, I don't really want to-oh, fine!" I surrendered to his puppy face. It was very difficult to deny George's puppy face, even when he was joking; it reminded me so much of the times when it was there for a different reason. I'd do anything to drive that face away and spare myself-and him-the painfully memories.

I described the situation to him the same way I had done for Harry. This time, I included every excuse I had given Charlie and every opinion Harry had on the situation. When I finished, he gave a heavy sigh.

"What?"

He sauntered around the counter and sat on an unopened barrel in front of me as he grabbed both my hands. He looked as though he had very grave news.

"The problem here," George began, channeling his inner psychiatrist (which tended to be one of the best), "is not when to have children. The problem here isn't even whether or not you want children. You're just...you're being a bit picky, and you can't really afford to be."

I tilted my head to the side. "Oh, Professor Trelawney? Sounds like you've got a bit of fog in-"

He held up a hand to silence me. For once, it was not a time for jokes.

"Ron's not coming back."

It was as if he'd punched me in the gut. "I know that," I hissed after a hesitant moment of shock.

"Then accept it," George said simply. "Because the problem isn't that you don't want kids-let me finish. The problem isn't that you don't want kids. It's that you always envisioned having them with Ron. You're holding out for something that's never going to happen. Sure, now it's a year. But in a year, when Charlie's ready to go and Ron's still six feet under-" I winced, "-how long then? Another year? Five? You're not getting any younger. You're trying to pick option c on a true and false exam."

I stood there in shock. He had pretty much hit the nail on the head. A nail I hadn't realized was there before now. But as he said it, I realized that he was right. The reason I dreaded those conversations about children was the sting in my heart I felt every single time. It was, I realized, the same sting I felt whenever someone said Ron's name. Whenever I thought the words 'children' and 'me' together, they were always accompanied by 'Ron' in some way. The sting was there now, more obvious and painful than it had been in months. I could feel it seeping into my eyes.

"The real choice here," George said gently, "is whether you want to have children with Charlie or no children at all. Those are your options. There's no letter 'c'. And you don't have all the time in the world to think this one through, unfortunately."

I swallowed all the bitterness in my throat that was threatening to escape. He was ruining my pretending game again. Slashing it to bits and pieces was more like it.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

I didn't want to tell him he was. It wasn't about him getting the satisfaction; he would hardly be glad to right about something like that. If I told him he was, I would have to admit it to myself. The more I admitted to myself...the closer I was to accepting that Ron was gone forever. I still couldn't do it. For the past six years, I hadn't been able to do it. Today was no different.

"I-thanks, but I-"

"Have to beat Charlie home?" George deadpanned.

"Something like that."

He nodded. "Well, you know the shop's always open for you, Hermione. Be careful," he called after me. I kept going, not bothering to look back.


I mulled over every thing George and Harry and told me for the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening. George was absolutely right, though I hated to admit it. I had been clinging to that false idea of the children I was supposed to have with Ron. But you can't have children with dead people. It was either give in to Charlie or go the rest of my life childless. I doubted my parents, with me as their only child, would appreciate the latter too much. I couldn't see myself not being a mother. It was something I was meant to do, I was certain of it. But I couldn't see them belonging to anyone else. Charlie and Ron may have been brothers, but to say that it wouldn't much affect my future children was a blatant lie. Now, I had to make a decision: did I want motherhood badly enough to let go of what I thought was meant to be?

Charlie got home about half an hour after I did, bringing dinner with him. After we ate, we lounged on the sofa with the radio on. Charlie had his head in my lap with the Daily Prophet cracked open. I had a book open on above his head, but instead of reading, I stared out the window, still debating back and forth in my mind. Lists of pros and cons fluttered through my mind whenever I closed my eyes. What did I want?

"Love, I can't-watch it-I can't see."

"Wha-oh, sorry." I pulled my book out from between Charlie's face and his paper and closed it before sending it off to its spot on the bookshelf with a lazy swish and flick of my wand. I continued to stare out the window, ignoring the radio that was droning on in the background as it played some old Celestina Warbeck song that reminded me of Bill and Fleur's wedding…

"Penny for your thoughts?" I looked down at Charlie, who was watching me with concern. For a change, I gave him a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing, really."

"It doesn't look like nothing."

I bit my bottom lip. It most certainly wasn't nothing, but was it really something I needed to tell Charlie right now? He sat up and pulled himself to the right of me, resting against the arm of the couch with his legs still draped across me.

"Let's talk."

I looked into his eyes. I'd always hoped my children's eyes would be blue. Charlie's eyes, though, were the loveliest shade of brown I'd ever seen.

"How set are you on this one year thing?"

Charlie simply stared at me, expressionless and silent for so long that I started to think he had no idea what I was talking about. Just as I was about to rephrase, he said, slowly, "I'm flexible. Why?"

I gulped. Part of me had hoped he would have defended the idea. It would have made it easier on me now if he had put his foot down. But since he hadn't, I continued.

"Well, I…I do want kids, you know that." Again with the expressionless staring. "And I just…well, I was thinking…why wait? We might as well just get on with it. And with all your siblings having them, we won't be alone in it, and-"

He cut me off with a long, hard kiss. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. "We don't have to do anything until-"

"But I want to," I insisted. If we didn't start now, I'd lose my nerve and change my mind. I had to get these words out while I could. I knew that if I kept putting it off, it would never happen. And if it never happened, I would look back one day with regret. No, this had to be done now, while I was certain it was what I wanted. "I want to have children, as soon as possible. I want a baby. With you." The last two words were especially difficult, but I managed to choke them out. Once I had, I felt wonderful. Why shouldn't I want to have my husband's children?

Charlie was grinning from ear to ear. "Really?" I nodded. "You're sure?" I nodded again, now mirroring his smile. "And you really-"

"I want this," I told him firmly. "More than anything, I want this. I want a family with you."

He stared silently again, this time looking possibly the happiest I'd ever seen him. "We should get going then, yeah?"

"Yeah," I chuckled. "Yeah, we should." He kissed me again. It was the most wonderful kiss, full of passion and what felt like all the happiness in the world. "I love you," Charlie whispered, standing and pulling me up by the hands.

"I love you, too," I told him back. And I meant it. I meant it, but part of me wished that I didn't. Part of me wished that I had never had to fall in love with Charlie. Part of me wished that I could have stayed in love the first time. All of me wished that I had never had that first love ripped away from me. Then, maybe any shred of happiness I felt wouldn't always be lined with this constant pain and aching.

Charlie kissed me again at the foot of the stairs. I returned it with as much passion as I could possibly muster; it was never easy, but always manageable. I pushed the pain as far back in my mind as I could, focusing my heart and soul on my love for Charlie. With every kiss, every caress, I hoped and prayed that Harry was right. Once the children started coming, my life would move along, hopefully leaving the hurt behind.

With that thought at the forefront of mind, we stumbled happily upstairs to start on our family.


Steady hands just take the wheel,

And every glance is killing me.

Take to make one last appeal

For the life I lead.


A/N: I just want to say really quick...I freakin' love George Weasley. As I was editing, I was like, "George, all the love in my body is being channeled to you right now." And he gets to give hugs because I think he needs them more than anyone. (Except for maybe Hermione in this fic.) That is all.