A/N: Hey, It's Brighton. I am putting TKAM on the back burner for now but will pick it up after I get this story out of my system. I've written like 8 chapters in advance. So, hope you guys enjoy it. Check me out on tumblr! Brighton97!
Sadly, I don't own these characters...
"Jo." Someone calls my name.
I'm in that room again. It's empty, except for a tank of water. I turn to leave immediately, but there is no door.
"Jo." The voice is closer now, but I recognize it.
Finnick.
He comes out of the shadows, clothes torn and bloody and scars all over his face. He's somber but glad to see me. I run into his outstretched arms, but I pass right through him.
"I-I don't understand..."
"I'm dead, Jo."
"You don't have to remind me." He laughs and gives me his signature smile. I missed that.
"You're about to have a son, you know."
"I do, send them my love for me. Jo, you need to let me go."
"Finnick... I have."
"Liar." He voice is dark and serious. "All I am is a ghost. I'm gone. Killed by mutts. I was never yours to begin with."
"I know. I always knew." Guilt washes over me. I always knew he was never mine to begin with. Never mine to grieve.
He motions for me to follow him to the tank. When I look over into the water, I nearly scream. It's his body, detached head and all. The water is turning red with blood. I stare at Finnick standing next to me, horrified. He smiles, with cruel undertones.
"However, this can be yours." He pushes me over the edge.
I sit up in my bed, drenched in sweat. I look over at the clock, 6:29 am. Time to get up anyway. I drag myself out of bed to put on my jogging clothes when someone knocks at the door.
A man in uniform stands there. Not a peacekeeper, there are no more peacekeepers. A Capitol official.
"Mrs. Odair?"
"No, I'm her roommate. She's asleep."
"Oh, well this is a letter from the Republic of Panem National Defense Committee. Make sure she gets it. Have a good day." He tips his hat and leaves.
I sit down with letter. I go ahead and decide to read it, so I can prepare to tell her if it's anything about Finnick.
I'm not prepared for the contents of the letter, even though this was the most predictable subject.
Dear Mrs. Annie Cresta Odair,
As you are aware, your husband, Finnick Odair, was killed in combat fighting for the freedom of this country. Given the circumstances at the time, we were unable to recover his body during the war. We would like to inform you, we have found the deceased's remains. They have been cremated and his ashes are available to be picked up at your Justice Building as of the day you receive this statement. On behalf of the Republic of Panem, we are deeply sorry for your loss.
Sincerely,
President Paylor Ashe, President of Republic of Panem
Gale Hawthorne, Secretary of National Defense
In the past three months, a lot has happened. I run in the shallows of the water every morning. I take ice cold showers right after. I haven't thrown up afterwards in 2 weeks. I don't feel pain anymore, just cool water. Not suffering, but relaxation. I'm getting better. That doesn't mean I'm going swimming anytime soon, though.
Peeta and I talk almost every day on the phone, ever since he moved back to Twelve. He talks about the reconstruction of the district, starting up the new bakery and Katniss. A lot about Katniss. He says their friendship is rocky, but they'll manage. Just friends, not for long in my opinion.
Annie is 8 months now, and perfectly healthy. She sees a psychiatrist every day. She gets clearer and rarely has her moments anymore, which is a lot better than she was in her first trimester. I remember her throwing up all the time, mumbling every word and crying all the time. She constantly hallucinated about the Capitol and her Hunger Games. A week after Finnick died. She reads the paper, still. Says it helps her to think about her games and the war. She still gets tears in her eyes whenever the kid is mentioned.
I don't know how I'm going to tell her. I've made some calls and set up a memorial service. They're all coming, most already on the next train. Annie should go and pick up the ashes herself, he was her husband. Enough putting it off, already. I get up to go talk to Annie.
As soon as I enter her room, she stirs.
"Hey, I have something to tell you."
The service was short. The odd group of surviving victors and district 12 and 13 citizens piled into a cabana on the beach while a priest led the service. Hymns were sung and good words were said. I feel like Finnick would have liked the simplicity of it. No cameras would have been his favorite part. His ashes were sprinkled into the ocean and swept away by the tide. He's finally free. Free to live where he loved to be the most. I could have sworn I heard him laugh when I watched his ashes float away.
I watch Annie now as she sits at our table at the reception. She went catatonic during the ceremony. She only responded when she received a Republic of Panem flag and a medal of honor for Finnick. Even though no one else noticed, she'd whispered I love you to the rose as she tossed it in the ocean for the ashes.
Some people from 13 stare at her pregnant belly and I glare at them in response. Heartless bastards.
"The service was lovely." I look up to see Peeta and Katniss together looking down at us.
"Thank you." Annie says meekly. "Johanna planned it all out." I manage a smile.
"Well it was great. I'm going to go get a drink. Johanna, wanna come?" I nod and I get up and follow Peeta to the bar.
"I'm sorry. I'm not really useful in social scenes. I can't really think about much today, actually."
"It's ok, Johanna. Nobody is expected to hold it together at funerals." We grab three glasses of wine and head back to our table. "So how are you holding up?"
"Not well. I had time to grieve months ago when he died, but now it's like I haven't healed at all. I'm trying to be strong for Annie. I don't want to think about how badly this hurts for her, with the kid and all..."
"I wouldn't want to know either."
Katniss speaks up when we get back. "Peeta, Annie's letting us stay with them for a couple of days, you want to? I need to visit my mother as well."
"Yeah that's fine. I don't mind." We continue talking about our lives and annoying calls from Plutarch while sipping wine. Annie pulled herself together quickly and joins in on the conversation. People come up to us and pay their respects to Annie. Haymitch even is sober for the occasion, which surprises me, but then I see him head off to the bar. Figures.
I head over to the bar later to get some water for Annie when someone taps me on my shoulder.
"Finnick was a great guy, I'm sorry for your loss. You look amazing in black, by the way." I did look amazing in my dress. I turn around and see the same set of eyes I've been wondering about for nearly the past year. The same face that was my ticket out of Snow's grasp. The same person who was my first glimpse at hope.
"Hawthorne."
A/N: R&R!
