A/N: Awww, man! (winces) I'm so, so sorry that it took me this long to update (although, at least, I updated faster than the last time)! I've had my hands so full with a ton of things to do that I haven't even had the time to write, which is absolutely infuriating. You can't believe how glad I am to be back! For me writing is the best therapy and stress relief. (grins)
BUT, before moving on with the story… THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for those AMAZING reviews! (GLOMPS) You've given me the inspiration to crawl back to writing although I'm exhausted by 'real life'. So thank you! (hugs again)
Awkay, I've kept you waiting already, soooo… (takes a deep breath) I REALLY hope this turns out worth the wait.
CHAPTER 3 – Spring
/ The part Reid hated the most about his job was seeing the victims. That atypically cold early morning of autumn he shivered while approaching the bank of a river. Hotch was already there, stood beside what Spencer dreaded was the victim. The older man's posture was stony.
"We've got victim number four. Kia Iris, 25, nurse from a local psychiatric clinic", Hotch told him as soon as he stood beside the man, not wasting time on greetings or pleasantries. To almost anyone he would've sounded harsh. Those who'd spent more time with him knew better. Hotch hated these situations just as much as Reid did. "A jogger found her an hour and a half ago – he's being interrogated right now. She's been stabbed ten times."
Reid shuddered and nodded, coming to a conclusion that he'd never get used to these situations. His eyes then shifted towards the corpse lay on the ground. In an instant his blood ran cold and his eyes widened slightly with recognition.
Shortcut dyed hair, now glazed over brown eyes… A mental image of her smile appeared to his head in an instant, followed by her words.
'Good luck with the case, FBI.'
Much too aware of his reaction Hotch looked at him with a slight frown. "Did you know her?"
It took a mighty moment before Reid managed to speak. He couldn't look away from the woman's face, from her half-open lifeless eyes. "Almost", was all he managed to produce. /
The first time entering BAU's headquarters after being shot was a almost disturbing experience for Reid. He was careful to choose a day when the rest of his team was working on a case somewhere. He certainly wasn't ready to face them in work just yet, not with how uncomfortable it would've been to all of them. In fact he didn't know if he would've ever come at all if Strauss hadn't ordered him to finally fill a report on what'd happened to him.
("You've been stalling it long enough", she'd told him.)
In all honesty Reid didn't know what to report, because his memories ended to where he'd climbed into Roley's car. He only knew what'd happened next because he'd fished the information from very reluctant Hotch and Morgan.
Apparently he'd managed to call Hotch, to tell he'd been shot and Tony Roley had turned out to be Lyon Torey. Hotch had wasted no time – in a matter of minutes the team had been nearby the farm. To Tony Roley's misfortune he'd ran into Morgan.
Theree gunshots had finished the troubled man's life.
Hotch, on the other hand, had continued his way to Reid. By the time the chief found him it was almost too late. But miraculously the man and medics had managed to keep him alive.
Staring at the sheet of paper before him, then moving his gaze slowly to his legs, Reid found it chillingly hard to be grateful.
The voice came so unexpectedly that it startled him. "Reid?" Turning his gaze slowly he found none other than Garcia stood some steps away. At first she half-stared at him as though not quite sure if he was really there. Then one of her famous, huge smiles appeared and before he knew it she'd enclosed him to a bear hug. "Well hello, Sweetie-pie! Feels like forever since the last time you were here." Finally breaking the embrace she brushed his nose with a gentle finger. "This place isn't the same without that brain-power of yours."
Reid blinked twice, not knowing what to think about that and feeling some heat on his cheeks. It certainly wasn't the first time in his life Reid had hard time finding the correct words. In the end he looked around, only then noticing how odd the place looked without the team around. It just didn't seem right. "Hotch… wants to wait a bit, to make sure I'm ready to come back." A small bit of him was already quite eager to return, to get a semblance of normality into his life.
He was very, very anxious to finally be something other than a handicapped person.
Reid was snapped out of that thought when suddenly remembering something. He felt his stomach knot upon recalling that he was almost late for his doctor's appointment. Those meetings were rarely anything pleasant. He looked back towards Garcia, trying to keep his expression at least relatively positive. "I have to go." Once more he glanced towards the unoccupied work-stations. "Tell the others I said 'hi'."
Garcia nodded, ruffling his hair. "I will, if you promise to come back again soon." 'We miss you', went unsaid but not unheard.
This time Reid nodded, feeling no particular need to say anything, then turned his wheelchair around with as much grace as possible and started to make his way towards the door.
"Oh, and sweetie?" Glancing backwards to her Reid found a look that held the strangest mixture of warmth, sadness and something else. Garcia took a moment before going on. "I know it's probably weird coming here at first, but… If you ever want to chat, I have a huge jar of cookies waiting for you."
Looking at her, Reid realized that there was no pity in her eyes. It was the first pity-free look he faced in ages, and it felt so good that he just had to smile a bit as he nodded once more.
It wasn't until Reid was safely out and she'd watched through the window how he made his way laboriously yet stubbornly through the busy street did Garcia wipe her cheeks. Her slightly shaking fingers wiped away the couple of tears that'd spilled.
At the moment she decided she needed chamomile tea.
A week passed by, so fast that the team barely noticed it. Sunlight filled the city, pale but still, and little by little the world woke up from winter's slumber.
Morgan, however, paid no attention to the light and gradually increasing warmth as he sat in his car outside a certain block of flats. With his history and job-description, he was stunned by the fact that he was almost scared of entering the building.
It was around then Morgan realized that he hadn't visited Reid since the younger man had been discharged from the hospital. Hotch had spent the first two nights with Reid in the dramatically transformed apartment and JJ had spent a few evenings with the brunet to help the man with everything. The others had also visited – Garcia bearing plants (because in her opinion they made the place feel like home) and cookies, Rossi bringing a pile of books and Prentiss offering a surprisingly respectable match in card games. But Morgan… If he was entirely honest with himself, he'd never been good at dealing with situations like this. He didn't know how to help, how to face how much everything had changed. And so he stayed as far away as possible.
Things, however, couldn't go on like that forever – that morning he'd finally admitted it to himself. And so he sat there, preparing himself.
Finally, after almost ten minutes, Morgan's muscles gave in and he climbed out of the car, trusting his dangerously weak legs. His thoughts still spun around in a million places as he made his way through the hallways. Those madly whirring thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he heard something that first made his blood freeze, then boil.
How he recognized the barely audible whimper as Reid's was beyond him. Another voice soon responded. "…it!… relax…"
As Reid whimpered Morgan moved, entering without knocking through the younger man's half-open front door.
Only steps away from him a man with long, greasy black hair on a ponytail and sharp blue eyes was hovering on the couch right above Reid, who was obviously in a great deal of pain. One of the stranger's hands was pressed to the brunet's chest and the other had landed uncomfortably close to Reid's neck.
It was no secret to anyone who knew him that Morgan had quite a temper. And at that moment, with his mind coming up with conclusions, he reacted.
Faster than the other two could blink he'd ripped the stranger off of Reid and grabbed him by the collar of the man's shirt. The startle in those blue eyes didn't ease the surges inside him at all. "Who the hell are you?" he all but hissed.
Morgan might've actually punched the man if Reid hadn't spoken just then. "Morgan, stop it!" The brunet's eyes and voice were filled with so many emotions that Morgan actually froze. "Sean's a nurse from the hospital – he's trying to help. Let go of him."
Feeling utterly embarrassed Morgan released the other man from his hold, lowered the fist that'd been prepared for a yet another fight. The younger man – Sean – quickly slipped away from his hold, still quite wary, and focused on Reid. "I'll… See you next week."
Reid nodded, then gave a brief, stiff wave as the other turned and left. And so it was just the two of them.
Perhaps surprisingly it was Reid who broke the heavy silence that followed. "I've… been having these pains, since it happened." The brunet wouldn't look at him, instead seemed to find the opposite wall fascinating. "Today, after physical therapy, they got… worse than usual. Sean gave me a ride home."
Morgan swallowed thickly, feeling a desperate need to explain himself. "I'm sorry", he murmured. "But I thought…" He trailed off, not knowing how to proceed.
Reid's eyes were hard and moist at the same time as they turned towards him. "Stop protecting me", the brunet half-exclaimed, sounding so exhausted and fed up that it hurt to listen. One of the man's hands gestured towards his legs. "This… This already happened, and I know I've changed. But I'm still able to look after myself – I won't break any given moment. Trust me!"
For the longest time Morgan stared at the younger man, those words washing over him like a cold flood. It was one of the first times in his life he didn't have the slightest clue what to say, how to chase away the tension lingering in the air,
He drifted out of his thoughts when hearing a tiny hiss of pain. It hurt him as well to watch how Reid grit teeth, obviously holding back a howl of ache. The brunet balled his fists so hard that the younger man's knuckles had turned white. The agony was visible.
Morgan reached out a hand towards the younger man but then changed his mind, fearing that even the slightest brush would make the brunet crumble down completely. He took deep, even breaths, focusing firmly on filling his lungs although it was a struggle. "Do you have any pain medication for this? Or something else?" He wanted, nearly needed, something – anything – to do. He couldn't just watch the other man suffer. "I can…"
All words got stuck in his throat when all of a sudden Reid looked at him, eyes filled with so much that it felt overwhelming to even watch. "Morgan, don't." It was barely even a whisper, but affected better than any snarl or roared command. The brunet's chest shuddered along with a breath. "Please, don't."
The air around them was thick and heavy as they looked at each other, neither knowing what to say. In the end Morgan chose to be the one to open the conversation. "Is there… something I can do?" he inquired slowly.
Reid shook his head with his eyes closed, still appearing a lot paler than he should've. "Just… Just stay there. That's all." The brunet took a slow, deep breath, clearly testing his body. A barely audible hiss followed. "You don't have to talk, or do anything. Just stay." Somehow it sounded like the genius would've wanted to say those words for a long time.
Morgan saw no point in denying the wish, especially with the sharp twinge of guilt that shot through him. Through all this they'd all been trying to help – fix – Reid. It was time to finally stop that, to finally stop and be there for the brunet. It was what they'd all been scared of doing.
Now feeling at peace with the silence, Morgan took a seat beside Reid. No touching, speeches or actions were needed. It was the first time Morgan, who'd always been the active type that charged forth to fix things, accepted that perhaps there were things he just couldn't do anything about.
That realization was painful and comforting at the same time.
The tension was finally gone. Morgan didn't notice it but Reid did and felt slightly better. Almost good enough to smile.
Spring was almost over when Reid sat outside the doors that'd take him to his team, to his surrogate family. After being away for such a long time it felt strange to come back, especially considering how many things had changed.
He wasn't sure if he would've entered at all if a very familiar voice hadn't spoken just then. "Reid?" From a couple of steps' distance Hotch was looking at him with a slight frown.
Reid had no idea what one was supposed to do in such a situation. So he did his best to smile and gave the chief a tiny wave. "Hi." Not exactly intelligent, but at least it was audible.
At that moment Reid saw something extremely rare. Hotch's dark eyes softened, and for a moment he could've sworn the man came close to smiling. "They've been asking me when I'm going to let you come back – they miss you."
This time the smile Reid gave was slightly more genuine. "I…" He cleared his throat, much too aware that he was extremely bad at situations like this. "I… guess I missed them, too."
Hotch looked at him for a moment, as though reading something, then nodded towards the door. "Let's go inside."
It wasn't easy, but after taking a deep breath Reid did open the door and entered right beside the older man. The sight inside was almost shockingly familiar.
Garcia was laughing as Morgan tried, clearly futilely, to defend himself against something Prentiss was saying. Rossi was observing the commotion with a smirk on his face.
Morgan was the first one to notice him. A grin appeared to the dark-skinned man's face. "Hey! About time you came back."
The other three also gave Reid their greetings, Rossi and Prentiss with nods and Garcia with a hug that nearly took his breath away. They still appeared wary around him, but at least now they seemed to be able to be around him. Reid welcomed the change.
Just then he spotted movement in the corner of his eye. Shifting his gaze he found JJ emerging from her office with a thick file in her arms. "Looks like we've got…" All words disappeared when she saw him. Her eyes softened, as did her whole face. "Hey Spence. And welcome back."
Watching the rest of the team heading towards the conference room, Reid found himself smiling once more. It felt like he'd come back home.
He thought everyone else had already gone. That's why he shuddered with surprise when seeing a hand on his leg. Looking up with surprise he found Prentiss. Reid knew the gesture was most likely subconscious, but still it felt good to notice that at least she wasn't terrified of his paralyzed limbs. There was a smile on her face. "Let's go, Dr. Reid."
Reid managed to give a feeble little grin while moving with her.
He knew working on cases wouldn't be easy for him anymore and there were tons of problems waiting in the future. But for that day he allowed himself not to think about them.
Much later that evening, when it was already dark, Reid was all too aware of how much noise his wheelchair made as he entered the cemetery. It took a lot longer than he'd expected to make his way to a certain monument, which had been placed to one side of the area beside the fence.
It was a place for those who wanted to pay their respects to someone who'd been buried far away – a quite beautiful statue that had the shape of a kneeled angel. The place looked almost magical with at least twenty candles providing it light. The sight didn't impress Reid that much anymore, though, not after he'd visited the place every night for weeks.
Reid swallowed thickly, feeling uncomfortable stinging in his eyes. It was unexpected, that someone he'd met for only a few short moments could affect him so.
His hand shook just a little bit as he took a single white rose from his lap and dropped it to the ground, right before the tombstone. For a brief moment he could've sworn the flower glowed in the twilight.
Just then there was a surprisingly warm breeze of wind that felt almost like a touch. And for some reason Reid felt tempted to laugh and cry at the same time.
/ It wasn't exactly a secret to anyone that Dr. Reid was very fond to coffee. At half past seven – after having been up twenty-eight hours – in the fifth morning of the team's newest case he sat in a tiny, homey café in Belwood, North Carolina. There were no other customers, so he had peace to finish his newest book-selection.
Or he, at least, thought for the longest time that he was the only customer. Because soon there was a female-voice that caught him slightly off-guard. "Kant?" Looking to side he saw a rather short young woman at around the age of twenty-five. She ran a hand through her clearly dyed, shortcut dark-brown hair while examining his book with curious eyes that seemed to have a touch of some other color aside mahogany. Her beauty wasn't super model-like, but she was still pretty. "Isn't that a bit heavy for this early hour?"
Reid shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed for some reason. "I've…" He cleared his throat. "I've read some of his other works before. His thoughts aren't as complicated as they say."
The woman looked at him for a moment as though trying to determine if he was serious, then chuckled and shook her head. "Well, I guess I should've known the FBI attracts strange people."
Reid blinked thrice, feeling a jolt of surprise. For some reason he had a coughing fit just then. "Usually people don't believe me when I tell them where I work."
She shrugged. "I've never been a fan of age racism." She then grinned. "Besides, in a town this small the appearance of the FBI is huge news. I'm sure everyone knows you and your team."
Reid couldn't keep himself from smiling back at her and blushing faintly.
It was around then a waitress – a middle-aged, red-haired woman with some extra pounds on her hips – showed up. She gave him a suspicious look before focusing on the younger woman. "Hot chocolate to go, right?"
The younger woman smiled. "You know my taste, Carla."
While the young woman was delivered her order Reid arched an eyebrow at her. "Hot chocolate?" He couldn't understand why he was curious.
She gave him a somewhat sheepish grin while paying and preparing to leave. "I've never had a single cup of coffee in my life."
Reid was mildly shocked. "Did you know that in 2006, 56 percent of adults living in the United States drank coffee every day?"
The woman first blinked twice, then chuckled, shaking her head. "You really are something else." She took a single step away before remembering something. "Good luck with the case, FBI." With that she walked away, and Reid couldn't convince himself into saying another word.
He stared at the café's door for almost a full minute once it'd closed after her, as though waiting, then refocused on his coffee. /
TBC, for a one more chappy.
A/N: I've said it before, and I say it again; poor Reid! (winces) But at least it looks like he's slowly learning to cope. We'll see how he keeps moving on in the next and (sobs once) last chapter. (I can't believe it's the last part of this story!)
BUT… (swallows) Thoughts, comments? PLEASE, let me know how you feel about this chapter! Click the tiny button down there. Pwease…?
Until next time, folks! Perhaps this time I'll have the time to update quickly – at least I have some sort of a outline for the chapter in my head. (grins sheepishly)
Take care!
