FIGHTING FOR LOVE
CHAPTER 3
A few weeks later Drew was replacing his bandage on his hand and threw away the soiled material in the garbage looking at himself in the mirror was a bit surreal. He thought back to where the past few weeks had brought him to this new yet somehow familiar place that seemed to be his new home.
Flashback
Drew was sitting at his desk at Aurora Media trying to go through the new media proposals for what seemed like the tenth time now and his mind kept drifting to Sam and the family and life that he thought they built together. Just then he heard a knock at the door and he looked up and saw the very object of his distraction – Sam.
Sam stood at the entrance not knowing if she should enter or how cautious she should be in broaching this delicate subject. She knew the past few months had been so difficult not only for herself, but especially for Drew. Now she was faced with yet another difficult conversation going over and over how to explain her point of view while remaining sensitive to his already fragile emotional state. "Hey, do you have a few moments?"
Drew stood from his desk and tried to brace himself for what was to come it seemed that Sam and him had not really had any time to really speak after he left the Penthouse and then there was the obvious lingering tensions between himself and Jason which he assumed Jason had put his own spin on what happened to her. He wanted to take Monica's advice to try and trust in the love that him and Sam shared, but he had so many painful reminders swimming in his head to the deep history and love she shared with Jason. Hell, he thought he was that guy and now nothing was real or his own well except Scout and no one and nothing could tear her away from him.
"Hey, yeah of course I have time it seems I have quite a bit of that these days come in." Drew stepped around his desk and went to the refreshment stand in his office and took a glass and dropped the ice in the cup and looked to Sam taking a seat in the chair across from his desk. He already sensed there was distance and her taking that seat told him this would not be a comfortable conversation and she needed that additional space. In a way the desk between their chairs was symbolic of the current state of their relationship more obstacles and distance.
"Would you like something to drink?" Drew asked trying to literally and figuratively break the ice.
Sam turned to him and half-smiled "yes some ice water would be ah great, thanks." Drew brought the glass to her hand and looked down at her seeing the swirl of confusion and sadness coming from her eyes. Their fingers gently lingered by one another and she lightly inhaled the two of them caught in an almost trance like state. They both felt so much was broken and damaged, but through all the chaos the electricity between them still buzzed in the air.
Sam quickly took the glass to her lap and broke eye contact, Drew knew she was pushing him away or at least keeping her distance and though it hurt he understood it was what she needed to do for herself at this moment. "Thanks!"
Drew takes a seat sitting back in his chair waiting for her to speak since it was her initiating the conversation. "So…Sam before this conversation goes anywhere I need to say something to you and I really need you to hear me." Drew waited for Sam to nod for him to continue. "I know that you and I haven't spoken since I left the Penthouse and I would imagine that you heard about the confrontation Jason and I had on the pier and I want you to know I didn't act out to hurt you even though in the moment I couldn't see how letting my feelings get the best of me would affect you or Danny for that matter and for that I want to apologize."
Sam's eyes met Drew's and he could see the disappointment writer all over her face. "Drew, there have a been a great deal of emotions running high recently and I think that all of us have acted out in ways that were not becoming, but I can't fault you for your feelings. If I had been honest with myself and really taken the time to process all of this maybe some of this heartache and pain could have been avoided and I will forever be sorry for causing you anymore pain and breaking the trust we shared."
"Sam, look..." Drew tries to respond when Sam interrupts him "No Drew let me finish because I owe you actually I owe us this much. I won't lie to you or myself anymore and pretend that feelings I had were mixed with who I thought you were, but it doesn't negate everything we shared before we thought you were Jason or after or even now" Sam gets up and goes to look out the window and pulls her arms around herself.
"Did you know the first time I saw you lying in that bed at GH you were a broken and bandaged mess and though I found you just from the mere chance of chasing Danny into your room something brought he and I to you. There were no words, but I couldn't help this overwhelming feeling that I wanted you make it and get better, god your vitals even went up heavily sedated. Trying to convince Danny to let go of your hand literally took bribing him with a sucker and even after we both knew something was special about you" Sam looks at Drew with a tear cascading down her cheek.
"No one can tell me that wasn't real and the connection I felt for YOU didn't exist then there was the mess of Helena's mind control and what we thought was the great reveal but see before that we had a friendship and as bumpy and turbulent as it was it was still forming. There were times that I felt this odd attraction and part of me knew it was right, but the timing was wrong. Do you remember when we were at Wyndemere looking through Nikolas' safe and found that necklace and you mentioned that I wasn't the traditional girlie type and how it surprised you were that I would find an interest in jewelry?"
Drew smirked at her and completed her thought "how could I forget? I mean I wasn't lying when I said that you would look smokin' hot wearing it and I might have had a daydream or two after that moment seeing you in it."
Sam blushed and turned to face him "well you certainly had me flustered a bit at that comment and it wasn't the only time either. My point being is that you and I had and have something that has nothing to do with the past I shared with Jason."
"Sam, I know that I have brain damage, but I'm not blind and I certainly have a pulse and regardless of what I told Patrick out of respect for your relationship at the time you peaked my interest from the very first time our eyes met walking the halls of gh." Drew walks over to Sam and takes her hands in his knowing that as much as it hurts him that there were lies between them he can't help the need to comfort her when she is in pain.
"No one expected this to happen and really I think all of us could and should have handled this mess differently, but we can't change what has happened we can only learn from our mistakes and try to make the best choices for each of us going forward. As much as I would love to hear you tell me that you want me and only me I know you are nowhere near dealing with or resolving your feelings for Jason. I might not like it in fact if I was truly honest with you I hate that I share anything with him, but those are the cards that we were dealt. The one thing though that I need you to know is that I took that ring off…my ring because you couldn't commit to us or me and I left it on that desk for YOU to decide if or when you are truly at peace and want to put it back on me. Now it kills me to not be with you, but I will respect what you need to do for yourself as long as you know I'm not giving up on us. I won't pressure you one way or another, but I love you Sam for you and what we built together regardless of my name and I'm going to fight for it."
Sam smiles at Drew and inhales sharply "thank you I know that this is so complicated and difficult for all of us and I can't guarantee how it will end or what we will be when the dust has settled, but I do know that you love me and I do cherish the life we built together. I came here today to not only tell you how sorry I am for hurting you and breaking us, but I have also decided to take some time for myself to clear my head without things following me around each turn. I'm not sure how long I will be gone, but I will let you know where I land and I would also like to ask if you would be okay with me taking the kids with me?"
Drew sighed and took her fingers and intertwined them with his "I know this is what you need and I have absolutely no objections you taking time for yourself with the kids and as long as you promise to stay safe and let me know how you're doing I will fully support your journey."
"Thank you I know this isn't easy and I'm asking a lot of you, but I think this is truly what is best for all of us right now and spending some time away with the kids will be beneficial for them as well. I promise to stay safe and stay in touch." Sam reaches her other hand to his cheek and he closes his eyes at her touch. "I will miss you and I do love you."
Drew takes her hand from his cheek and kisses her fingers "I love you too more than you know."
Sam leaves his office and takes a deep heavy breath with a tear escaping her eye and her hand gripping her chest.
Drew sinks into his chair and knows this is the beginning of her journey and now he needs to use this time to begin his own.
End of Flashback
Monica knocks gently on his door and peaks around the corner holding Scout in her arms. "Good morning son, I think someone was wanting her daddy" hands Scout over to Drew and he cuddles her closely.
"Thanks mom I was just about to come see if she was stirring, how would you like to go to the park with Daddy today?" looking at Scout's face she smiles and squeezes her hands to his cheeks. "I'll take that as a yes, come on princess let's get you ready."
