Authour's note – Not too sure about this chapter yet, but I doubt there would be more than one or two after it.
Chapter three
Emily having said goodbye to her dear cousin Seth was dealing with the other end of the spectrum in male attitude's. The boys that saw everything Cullen related with a suspicious eyes and recently anything Cullen related included Bella Swan - the vampire girl. As soon as they all ambled into the house sniffing for cookies like blood-hounds the noisy constant chatter began.
"What did she want?"
"Did she just want to chat?"
"Stinks like usual doesn't she."
"Paul! She does not stink!"
"She could have washed for us."
"Oh yeah and when was the last time you washed, dog breath!"
"Hay I'll give you dog breath, bat-boy!"
"What's she doing with Seth?" Sam wondered now he'd finished kissing ever inch of scar on his love's face.
"Charlie's over there for the day and they were board so they just went for a walk and ended up here for a cup of tea."
"And they ate all the cookies!"
"What no cookies?"
"Anything to eat?"
"I'm starving."
"Your always starving."
"Quill stole my breakfast!"
"Jared stole my shorts!"
"Oh come on, like your whole sodding street haven't seen you butt naked by now Paul!"
"Stinky Stacy probably has it on camera already!"
"I do not have a thing with Stinky Stacy!"
"They'll be more later and you can finish off the bread rolls for now."
"That's not what I heard. You and Stinky Stacy getting all hot and steamy down at the beach lockers."
"Piss off."
"Was looking forward to those cookies."
"Yeah."
"All that running Sam makes us do!"
"Quit wining you lot! I worry about you Emily. You don't have to spend every minute of every day feeding them lot."
"You know it's ok Sam. If they aren't here they'll be off annoying some other poor unsuspecting cook. I don't mind them that much."
"Aww you don't mind us?"
"Ah shit what were that?"
"Dude you broke another chair with your big fat hairy ass!"
"I'll give you hairy ass!"
"Paul, don't you dare change in this house!"
"Yeah Paul there aint room for your big fat hairy ass in here!"
"I'll get you later!"
"Did she have anything nice to say about us? She seemed pretty bad tempered the last time I saw her." Sam wondered, he could protect his love from anything in the world but bitchy bad tempered women.
"Yeah growling like a kitten at Jake in the garage."
"Scary little kitten!"
"Yeah but Jake's into cats, she's yelling…"
"…And he was nursing a semi!"
"Aww piss off, I was not!"
"All hot and steamy she was!"
"There was drooling afterwards when she stormed off!"
"I was not!"
"Skinny little ass there, you wouldn't know where you'd being!"
"Piss off Paul!"
"Ahh crap that hold's illegal."
"Five on Paul."
"Your on!"
"I'm fine Sam, Bella's harmless by herself and she's actually done you guys a favour."
"What?"
"She has?"
"Really?"
"Bella's being helping us out!"
"Did the sweet little cupcake make us stew and dumplings again?"
"Aww I love it when she does that. Two big old dishes full!"
"Nah only got the one now, remember Paul broke the red one with his big hairy ass!"
"Dammit Paul."
"I was hungry."
"You were licking her dish out with your fury wolf tongue."
"I do not have a fury tongue!"
"What the hell has he being licking on you to get you to find that one out!"
"Not like that. The bastard licked me head!"
"Have any of you being around Seth lately?"
"Well no, kind of busy, leechs and what not."
"And you know, eating."
"We've being very busy eating."
"We haven't really being doing much school neither!"
"He wants to hang like before but he just doesn't understand I can't. He's being getting awfully cranky when ever I do see him. It's really not like him." Jacob sighed standing aside from his brothers for a moment, anything to get some much wanted Bella-info.
"You've not seen him properly in what, two weeks though have you?" Emily sighed and then looked from Jacob to Sam. Sam could guess where this was going but he really hoped it wasn't.
"Why?"
"Sam he's burning up."
"He's too young."
"He's probably just got flu."
"He's not sick, he's fine, he's burning up and he just scoffed down 10 massive nut cookies in under 20 minutes and he's still sniffing around for more snacks. He's taller too! He towers over Bella now."
"That's not hard, she's a midget!"
"He could just be growing, normal 14 year olds do grow sometimes."
"Aww Em why's you'd feed all the cookies to the little whelp? What about us, we're your favourites?"
"He's 15 now and he's growing fast! Too fast."
"How hot?"
"He's not as hot as you, but he's still feverish when you touch his skin. Too hot for a human and he doesn't notice it. Just wonders around in a t-shirt and forgets to take a jumper like normal."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure. That's why Bella wondered over here with him. She noticed and he was grumbling about being stuck at home with no one to talk to and when she asked when he last saw Jake he grumbled about it being so long."
"I know Harry's struggling with him. He keeps grumbling about being lonely since Colin went off to visit his dad. Seth doesn't really have anyone to hang around with at the moment."
"Harry's not noticed because he's too worried about Leah. Sue's not noticed because she's worried about Harry and Leah well…"
"Yeah… Leah."
"Kind of gotta feel sorry for Seth being stuck in the house with that all day!"
"Yeah no wonder he's taken to hitting on Bella."
"Hay that's what Jake does when he's board."
"What so Bella brought him over here so we wouldn't over look him? She brought him here to make sure we knew about his fever when no one else has noticed?" Jacob wondered forgetting about his bread roll only to have it stolen by a quick handed brother. By the time he turned to look however Paul's throat was suspiciously bulging but there was no other sign of the bread roll, not even a crumb.
"She misses you Jake."
"She's got her leech she doesn't want me."
"She still misses you.' Emily moved away and then decided she may as well explain a little. Sam would be interested.
'Beside's the leech is in the dog house anyway at the moment!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well he was grouchy about her making you a birthday cake."
"Yeah and now I don't see her at all because of him. He never lets go of her. She's not aloud out. Charlie doesn't mind me, he likes me, so it's not him keeping her in all the time. It's that god awful, vile stinky…!"
"Easy Jake." Embry quickly jumped on his brothers back and wrapped his arms tight around his shoulders. Jake's trembling stopped and he glared at the floor until Embry dropped down and past him a bread roll to chew.
"She wouldn't stay to see you, she'd rather hang around the house with Seth than talk to you at the moment. You upset her."
"What about the leech, he wouldn't hurt her because of it would he? Well no more that his usual letching and creeping about the place like he does."
"I don't think so, well she doesn't seem to think so."
"Well that's because she's an idiot!"
"What's this plan you were cooking up with her before anyway?"
"Well, I gave her a little bit of advice about how to handle his obsessive jealousy."
"Ditch him and feed him to the wolves?"
"No, she gave him a subtle ultimatum."
"Be nice or I'll ditch you and feed you to the wolves?"
"No! You know Bella well enough to know she's not about to do that."
"You can't fault the sound logic of that kind of a plan though can you?"
"Baggys his left leg if we do."
"No Jared."
"What I called his left leg first!"
"What's so great about his left one? They both stink. Surely the right one is just as good."
"Arms are too flimsy and I never really liked attacking straight on from the left for some reason. I prefer the right side so that would be his left leg so I can get a nice clean rip and make sure I don't miss any entrails, get it."
"No, I don't."
"Paul's forgot his left and right again."
"What again!"
"Piss off."
"Well what then?"
"Well he made such a fuss about your birthday cake that she made him one too."
"The Cullen's don't eat cake, they just kill animals and go all sucking-leech and disgusting-like on the corpses?"
"Yes well she made him a cake, left it as a little romantic gift for when he got back from hunting. That's why she's with Seth today. They're out hunting and she's safer down here when they go."
"Oh lovely, a little romantic gift for the leech, just what I want to hear about." The other boys all grumbled and found spots to sit down around the downstairs. Quill however suddenly wondered.
"Emily, sweet cook that feeds us all?"
"There's nothing more coming until the bell rings."
"I know, but, well I was just wondering."
"What?"
"Human food tastes like dirt to leechs doesn't it?"
"So we're told by Bella."
"That were a big cake Jake got too, greedy pig wouldn't share it but he dam near puked afterwards."
"I got a piece."
"Hardly."
"Emily?"
"What Quill?"
"Did you manipulate Bella into manipulating Edward leech into being forced to eat the vampire equivalent of a massive bucket of dirt, just to prove he's not some obsessive, jealous vampire jerk all because he got cranky at Bella making Jacob a birthday cake… for his birthday?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Quill? Like I would ever manipulate anyone.' Emily insisted and then picked up her laundry.
'Now someone needs to help me with this and someone else can go chop some more wood for the fire."
"I'll do the wood!" Four boys shouted and fought against each other to get out the house first. Sam however merely lifted the laundry basket from Emily's hands and pulled her closer towards his warm body.
"My sneaky muffin maker."
"Well, if he does love her, he should prove it."
"You little minx!"
"Hmm. We women have our ways. The boys are gone why don't you come and help me with the sheets in the bedroom?"
"Hmm sounds like fun." Dropping the basket Sam shoulder lifted his mate and chuckled as she shrieked and giggled as he carried her into the back bedroom.
20 minutes later when Sam wondered back out to the kitchen, the pack finially decided it was safe to re-enter the house, a sizeable house height amount of wood chopped down into Emily sized chunks and hungry expressions on all the faces. Sam by far the calmest of the group set them to work cleaning up the kitchen to earn there evening meal. The house was still and calm until the magic bell wrang, five hungry wolves stared salivating and quickly dashed to the dinner table to wait as patiently as hungry wolves could for dinner to come out the oven.
Emily merely chuckled to herself. It was time to feed her boys again.
