Ruth was sat on the sofa thinking to herself. She was considering calling Harry when Claire poked her head around the door frame.

"Can you plait my hair?" she asked in a quiet voice. "Mummy used to do it but she's not here at the moment."

"Of course I can," Ruth said. The little girl sat in front of her and Ruth ran her fingers through the girls long blonde hair, fanning it out.

"Do you know what happened to your mum?" Ruth asked carefully, her hands starting to work on Claire's hair.

"Daddy said she's gone away. For a long time. She's gone somewhere… Daddy said she's gone to heaven and I won't see her again." Ruth swallowed at hearing the innocence in this little girls voice. She stayed silent until she tied her hair up.

"Thank you," Claire said before bouncing off.

"She doesn't understand," Chris said sitting next to her on the sofa. He had been watching them from the door. "She doesn't know what the word dead means. How do I explain that to a five year old? How do I explain that to her when I can barely understand it myself?"

"I'm so sorry," Ruth said.

"I've heard that word so much its lost all meaning to me," Chris said turning to face her.

"There's nothing I can say to you to make any of this easier," Ruth said. "Loss… it's a permanent ache in your heart which never really goes away. I know that better than you could imagine." Ruth swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment as she saw the faces of all the friends she had lost over the years. Danny, Fiona, Zaf, Adam, Jo, Ros. Even though she had learnt about Zaf and Adam's death long after the fact, she still felt their loss.

"You've lost someone," Chris said plainly.

"Yes," Ruth replied shortly, not wanting to dwell on it. Silence fell between them and Ruth thought of something. "I have to make a call," she said getting up.

"Okay," Chris said. "Who's the lucky guy?" he added with a hint of a smile. Ruth felt glad that he was even able to attempt a smile.

"Mind your own business," Ruth said pulling her mobile out of her handbag and taking it out in the hall. She hit speed dial and rang through to Harry's office. She had considered for a moment to call his mobile but at this time of day she imagined he'd be on the grid. She wasn't disappointed.

"Hello," Harry's voice said.

"Its me," Ruth said quietly, wondering how it was possible for her heart to speed up and her face to flush when Harry had only spoken two syllables to her. "I was just calling like I said I would." She spoke slowly, drawing each word out so she could stay on the line to Harry for as long as possible.

"Its good to hear from you," Harry said.

"The building hasn't fallen apart in my absence then?" Ruth asked.

"No, we seem to be managing," Harry said. She could hear that he was smiling and knew he would have a twinkle in his brown eyes.

"World war three hasn't broken out?"

"No," Harry said calmly.

"Good," Ruth said. "I'm glad I didn't leave you with a problem."

Harry neglected to say that he always had a problem when she wasn't there. "We're managing," he repeated. He suddenly realised she wasn't listening at all. He strained his ears and smiled as he heard the conversation she was having with someone else.

Ruth's skirt had been pulled by Claire who didn't like being ignored. Ruth bent down and looked at the little girl.

"Daddy's on the computer," Claire said with a small whine in her voice. "Play with me." She had such a sweet face and innocent blue eyes that Ruth couldn't bring herself to say no.

"I have to finish this phone call," Ruth said. "But once I have, I promise I will play with you. Anything you want."

"Promise?" Claire asked with her head tilted to one side, seeming to wonder whether she was serious or not.

"I promise," Ruth said, nodding her head to make sure she believed her.

"Okay," Claire said leaving Ruth on her own.

"Sorry about that Harry," Ruth said turning her attention back to the phone. "I just wanted to call."

"I'm glad you did," Harry said. His office door suddenly had a very loud knock which even Ruth heard on the other end of the phone. "I have to go, Ruth."

"Okay. I'll leave you to catching your terrorists," Ruth said with a smile. "Bye Harry." She disconnected the call to find Claire tugging at her skirt again. Ruth smiled at the little girl and looked forward to an afternoon of playing games with a five year old girl.


When Harry was finally left on his own his mind went back to the way Ruth had spoken to the little girl. Her voice had changed completely when talking to the child. It had taken on a much softer quality than he had ever heard in her before. He started to wonder just how much he didn't know about her. After all, he had only ever seen her at work. How much of her private life was hidden to him? She had never even mentioned this Chris to him before. Maybe he had worked their relationship up into more than it was in reality. Maybe that was why she had said no to his ill timed marriage proposal.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face in agitation. He considered calling her briefly but threw the thought out of his mind almost immediately. Before he went home he poured himself a generous shot of whiskey and downed it in one.


More in the works. I would love a review if you have the time xxx.