Spoot: and if you'll look to your right...Oh, HI! didn't see you there!
Envy: as you can see, we're giving out guides around the town...
Ed: What the hell is going on here!
Spoot&Envy: *gulp* nothing!
What a Drag
Ahhh, The newspaper! this was my favorite time of the evening. I would jump up onto the trash can, and here it would come, almost out of nowhere! I loved to read the paper! now, granted, I've been hit a few times with it...that's never swayed my opinion about the news! people need to be informed, and if I had opposable thumbs, I would start my own newspaper, one just for cats.
today started out like any other day: Stand on a trash can, get the morning paper tossed at you, find out how Amestris is doing, eat dried vomit off the ally floor...WHAT! It's a delicacy around here! ask Tom and Berchera! They'll tell you! My name is Biz Biz. Don't ask me why. Mother Moon handed that name down to me long before I was born a cat. You live by the name, you swear by the name, you die...by the name.
Now, like I said, today was like any other day. I am of course implying that my day changed dramatically, and it did. I was sitting on my box, at the mouth of the ally way, just watching passers and seeing if a food stall would drop any food. Central. on a Monday around 9:30 in the morning...you're gunna get something fresh! I was about to jump up and snatch away a dangling fish head when I heard something loud, comein' my way!
I froze. They teach you that in stray school. It was something big, standing right in front of me. it had the voice of a child, yet it was metal. I stayed still. It would leave if I did not move! "Brother! Don't eat that! its hot!" it spoke to a shorter companion. I can understand humans very well, I am after all, the smartest animal on the face of earth! The one called Brother, threw the morsel of food to the ground.
I had two choices, grab it and risk being caught, or let it slip, and go a little more hungry. I took the chance. I put one foot out, and set it on the ground, then the other. Soon I had all 4 paws on the cement. I took a few steps forward. "Why didn't you tell me it was hot before I took a bite Al!" Shouted the little one. ignore him, get the food, and run. "How was I to know you'd gobble it up like a pig! Hey...look Brother...a kitty."
FREEZE!
"Oh yeah...its pretty dirty Al, better leave it alone."
Yes, you listen to that little man over there...but alas. He bent down and moved the food closer. What was this? a Friendly Monster of metal? "Here you go...you must be hungry. now be careful kitty, that's spicy pork!"
"Al, lets just go, I'm starving."
The one called Al stood up. he agreed with the smaller man, but not before leaving me more than just a speck of Spicy Pork. This was what the boss called, a Lamb. He was ripe for the picken! I had to do this just right, or I would get shooed away. I pick up some of the food, in my mouth, and follow.
Al stopped walking and turned around. "Awwww, Brother look." he reached down and lifted me right off the ground. Phase One, complete. "She followed us!" DARN IT! I'M A BOY! The one called Brother, turned. "Put it down Al, its probably sick..." I was not! I was about ready to kill the lot of them...but...I needed to do this just right. I put on that al to familiar face. my eyes became large, and I put my ears back.
What a day...it worked, but not the way I had planned...I was still alive, that was for sure...but the metal monster called Al... devoured me...just swallowed me whole...I can hear him walking, it's so loud in here! every now and then, I meow, and he stops, and talks to me. Tells me he will take me home. GET ON WITH IT!
There was a moment where I was sure I was doomed. They were yelling at something called Scar, and it felt to me like an earth shake. There was even fire somewhere, I could smell it! something called Mustang was there, and it was a man, I suppose. I'm sure at this point someone would just let me go, but this battle carried on.
Then at one point we were on a train, what's a train! is it a bigger animal? has it eaten us? I ask because Al and Brother say they were in the train, and soon they would get out, then go home. I'm so confused. Every now and then, Al would speak to me, and Brother would argue with him about it. Calling me a dumb animal. has he never met a dog before in his life? you want dumb animal, there ya go!
I hate dogs. They make my skin crawl! whats with them anyway? I watched one eat a friend of mine before. just tore him up and walked away. If I ever came face to face with one, I'm gunna rip its eyes out! then I'm gunna play skip rope with its intestines! that's a bit morbid, I know...I just hate them so much! and they make no sense when they talk. Have you ever had a conversation with one! impossible!
I heard loud noises, then movement. "We're almost home kitty!" Al said. almost huh! this was gunna be good. I hope they have Tuna! I love Tune! had it once a few years ago. Some Lamb dropped it for me, and I was in Heaven! "Al, What about Den?" Brother asked. movement stopped. "Oh yeah, well, maybe they'll get along! Den is so sweet." Said Al. This Den did not sound like a cat lover.
My eyes took a moment to adjust to the light. I was no longer in the metal monster's belly. I was out, in the fresh air, of a nice little country home. No big City? I suppose this will do. I saw a yellow haired girl. Sweet! women were easy! She looked mad as could be though. "Winry, this is Selena!" Al said, holding me out to her. I'M...A...BOY! Winry looked warmly at me. "Awww, Hi Selena. you guys know she can't stay here...What about Den?" She said. There was that name again...
Al put me on the floor. "Let him in and lets see." He said. I looked around the room. Wide open and spacious, Wood burning stove, smells of food. I could live here. I heard Brother say something to Winry, and she giggled. She has affections for him. I'm wise, I can tell. Just then, I heard a sound, a sound I thought I would never hear.
There I stood, face to face with a three-legged mutt...oh what fresh hell is this...
Spoot: HAHAHA! Chapter 3 is now up!
Black Hyate: *barking*
Spoot: you're next!
