Well here it is, the third chapter to this little story. Thank you to my reviewers so far, your words of encouragement are what keeps this story going. I'm excited to see where this takes me and I hope you're enjoying so far. The chapter after this is where the action picks up a little bit. Thanks for sticking with me!

Ch. 3 In the End (It Doesn't Even Matter)

I tried so hard and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter.

Numb. That's what I felt as I walked from Bella's house towards… Well, towards nowhere really. That was the kicker right there, I was travelling without a destination. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to be, and soon I would belong to nobody.

Actually, that thought was somewhat comforting. I would belong to nobody, I would be under no obligations, my life would be my life, and nobody else's. So when I did screw up, and I knew sooner or later I would, I would have nobody to blame but myself. It took a lot of weight off my shoulders; the responsibility that had come with being Ephraim Black's grandson was gone. One more thought fleeted across my mind. If that responsibility was gone, then who was I, now?

I couldn't resist anymore. My body was shuddering as my legs pumped harder, my bare feet pounding against the cold, hard ground. And suddenly I was flying, my human form no longer constraining my strides. I ran, pushing myself to go faster, further, furious snarls ripping from my throat. My whole world was falling apart from the inside out and it was all because of her. I hated what I'd become, the fact that I no longer knew who I was. I wanted to hate her for it, too. The only problem was that no matter how hard I tried, I was desperately in love with her. What was wrong with me?

I could still hear my pack, their voices in my head urging me to come back, begging me not to do this. They knew exactly what I was planning to do and dismembering from the pack was what they were afraid of. It would cause so much grief, incredible pain; it would be like a death in the family. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Jacob come back, you don't know what you're doing, don't do this," I heard Sam's voice in my head and I tried to block it out. I did know what I was doing which was what made it so selfish and so immature. I'd heard those last three words so many times in the last few days. Don't do this. I was always doing something that I shouldn't be, loving the wrong girl, leaving at the wrong times…

I ignored Sam and willed myself to go faster, although I knew I was running out of steam and would have to stop to rest soon.

"Come on Jake, please? Come back." That was Seth's voice, and I heard Quil echoing an agreement with him.

Finally I found it in me to reply, instead of centering my thoughts on theirs, I let my mind convey exactly what I wanted it to.

"I'm sorry you guys," I thought, somberly, "I'm out."

"You can't mean that!" I heard Seth argue, his voice sounding close to tears. That's when I felt bad for somebody but myself for the first time since I'd spoken with Edward.

"Quiet Seth," Sam said, and I could practically hear the whine in Seth's voice as he shut up. "Are you sure about this Jacob? Is this what you really want?"

"I'm out," I repeated, glad that I wasn't speaking because I know my voice would have broken when I heard my pack's reaction.

A collective gasp, a few 'no's' and Sam's solemn sigh later, their voices disappeared and I was alone in my head. It was the strangest feeling, almost stranger than when they'd first been there. The silence was a little unnerving. I had to practically force myself not to run back right then and there and beg them to take me back.

That thought was what made me keep running, if I turned back now I'd never get out of there again. Or worse, they'd turn me away and then I'd really feel like the outcast. So I kept going, feeling my legs burning, my chest heaving with exertion. My lungs felt like they were on fire, my mouth was dry, and I could barely breath, but I pushed and I went further, and faster, until everything began to look the same to me.

I had no idea where I was. I knew I was no longer in Washington, was I even still in the country? The trees all blurred together to look like one massive background of green on brown, I could feel my pace starting to slow no matter how much I pushed now, my head felt too heavy to hold up, and the ground was spinning like a bad amusement park ride. My vision blurred and the spinning intensified, and that's all I remember before hitting the ground.

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