Title: Don´t make me
Hi this is place a month before the first chapter.
This deals with Steve´s thoughts and emotions while dealing with Danny´s moods and actions.
Lyrics by Blake Shelton
"When I look at you
You look through me like I'm not even there
I'm trying not to give up
To be strong but I'm afraid to say I'm scared
I can't find the place your heart is hiding
And I'm no quitter but I'm tired of fighting"
STEVE POV
This is getting harder and harder, Could it be me? I love him and he seems to not knowing or fuck is like he doesn´t care.
I know I´m not an easy person to love but I´m trying and lately it seems that is only me in this I don´t know what to called it anymore.
I love him, he became a big part of me, he lights my world, Jesus crap I´m starting to sound like a chick, loving him is a contradiction because sometimes is so easy and is also the hardest thing I have ever done.
I´m scared because he can break me, he doesn´t know he has the power but I give it to him, I´m helpless, I´m exposed he can hurt me more than anyone else could ever do because I can´t fight him, and it hurts to know that while he will survive our relationship if you can called it like this I won´t.
I can see it, he is not here with me, I have half of him and I get the dark part, the one that needs to hurt to protect itself from being hurt, he doesn´t trust that I won´t hurt him Rachel and maybe somebody else hurt him deeply and made him feel an act like a scared animal that is cornered he will attack first and deal later, but we´re not dealing, we don´t speak, we´re scared because it hurts to feel this way but I´m losing my faith in us, in him.
"Baby, I love you, don't wanna lose you
Don't make me let you go
Took such a long time for me to find you
Don´t make me let you go
Baby, I´m begging please
And I´m down here on my knees
I don´t wanna have to set you free
Don´t make me…"
I have never been this in love before, he means so much to me, sometimes I blame myself because I knew he was in dark place when we started sleeping with each other well I don´t sleep with him we just fuck, he so scared of admitting what he feels that he blames me, he mocks me I´m not a machine I act like one because that´s what helps me in my line of work.
Should I end this? Should I leave him? I´m getting tired of fighting alone.
"What if when I´m long gone
It dawns on you, you just might want me back
Let me make myself clear
If I leave here, it's done I`m gone that´s that
You carry my love around like it´s a heavy burden
Well, I´m about to take it back, are you sure it's worth it?
Baby, I love you, don`t wanna lose you
Don´t make me let you go
Took such a long time for me to find you
Don´t make me let you go…"
I don´t want to end this but how much more can I take? I´m tired of talking to someone who is just not there.
I love them, him and my princess but he seriously can shatter me and it will be for good, I won´t coming back it would destroy our Ohana, I can see them figuring things out, can see them closing ranks and I don´t want that because he needs all the support he can get but what about me? Should I be a casualty in his internal war? Should I expose myself for him to finish me? Is this worth enough?
"Baby, I´m begging please
And I´m down here on my knees
I don´t wanna have to set you free
Don´t make me, don´t make me
Baby, I´m begging please
And I´m down here on my knees
I don´t wanna have to set you free
Don´t make me, don´t make me
Stop loving you
Don´t make me
Stop needing you…"
You are out of the door again and I didn´t follow you, is this a sign? Maybe it is, I´m running out of will to fight for us Danny and is killing me, please Danny let me in we can fight together, we can win and build a wonderful life, if only you let me in, I´m tired of begging and I´m tired of fighting for us alone I love you but I realizing that love, my love may not be enough for you.
I love so much but you´re making me leave before you shatter me, before you crush me I´m losing faith in us in our love, I´m losing faith that we can get a happy ending and it hurts so much.
Please Danny don´t make me let you go, see me Danno.
Yeah I´m hammered I need some sleep, I need to think this, I´m so tired.
Tbc
