A break from my Hiatus State. It feels good to be back. It really does.

---

Life Sucks

Chapter THREE: New Sense of...life?

---

Mitchology

Every girl should have a list of things to accomplish. I don't, well didn't, have a list but it sounds like a good idea. It's something every ambitious girl should shoot for. Since I have a dry pit of ambitions and no motivation whatsoever I could care less if I had a list or not. I read it in a book that a college student left one night at Java Junction. I took it home and spent all night reading it. During the morning rush, while I was snacking on a muffin, the college girl promptly snatched her book away and took off. All I remember from that book was about self-improvement and how list can help make you a better you. This list only requires five things or items you wish to achieve. Now, I feel completely lame to make this list but here goes nothing.

1. Ride a camel.
2. Skip around the park, barefooted.
3. Make my own line of Mitchie Sun-dresses.
4. Break any of the Connect Three band member's guitar's…(aiming for Shane's)
5. Don't ever break out into the music scene with a name as bad as Bleeding Sunshine.

---

I choose to ignore this 'Caitlyn'. I tried to avoid that with all the bump in's Caitlyn would be the last person to show up here and order something from here, a rundown second hand coffee shop with a bit of a reputation. Sure, I might have seen Tess, chatted with Nate, and bump into Peggy but that does not mean that every Caitlyn wrapped up in a disguise is going to be the Caitlyn Gellar.

I cleared my throat, "Well Caitlyn, good morning. What can I do for you?"

Caitlyn groaned and took off her sunglasses. Well whadaya know? It is Caitlyn Gellar. She quickly put her glasses back on and looked around, nervous if anybody had recognized her. I flipped my hair off my face and frowned. It's not that I was against seeing Caitlyn. I just had a…I don't know, a fucking suspicion that Nate had to be apart of this.

"I'll have the special." Caitlyn smiled.

Ted had her order place on the counter in a second flat. I turned to look at his triumphant face. He smirked at me and I had a feeling he was hovering around, secretly thanking me for his date.

"You're total is-"

"It's on the house." Ted smiled, "Any friend of Mitchie's is a friend of ours."

I threw him a glare.

"I didn't believe Nate when he said you worked here." Caitlyn whispered.

What did I tell you? Just had to be Nate.

I pursed my lips, "I'm surprised you still know my name, oh wait, it's on my tag."

"He told us you weren't the same. I didn't think you would be so hostile." Caitlyn winced.

I sighed, "It's not you. It's Nate. Does he really mention me to everybody? I'm beginning to think he has nothing else to do but to talk about me. And here I am thinking that every superstar is incredibly busy."Caitlyn's smile came back, "You'll be surprised."

I closed my eyes and tried not to picture Nate chasing down random people, yelling about a random event regarding me. Seriously, what's wrong with that kid.

"No," Caitlyn shook her head, "He isn't ranting on about you but it's enough to make Tess a but jealous."

Tess what?

"You heard right," Caitlyn smirked, "Tess is wondering why Nate is constantly talking about you."

I smiled. It felt like Caitlyn and I were back at camp. I was astonish that she could read me like an open book just like she's had, years ago.

"I never realized how much I missed you." I whispered out.

"I'll be perfectly honest, I rather shoot myself than to be at another Tess sleepover." Caitlyn sipped on her cappuccino, "I thought being a teen and having a slumber party was bad enough."

Ted took the initiative to shove me out to have a drink with Caitlyn. We naturally migrated to the farthest table and sat down.

"Nate told me everything and before you tell me you hate me, hear me out. Some big agent came along the summer you didn't go. He worked with all of us and said none of us had potential to be a solo artist. You should have seen Tess, she was beyond offended. I was too, but hey, I wasn't going to let some old guy tell me I wasn't good enough." Caitlyn quickly explained. "You know I would never willingly sign up for a group that contained Tess."

"Well that's what I thought." I sourly said.

Caitlyn sighed, "Well, Jason convinced me. He said Tess was much nicer and that we might be able to go on tour with them if we were signed."

I grinned, "So what? Just because Tess was nice you were convinced?"

Caitlyn blushed, "Maybe."

"You wanted to spend some time with Jason. Admit it." I pointed at her accusingly.

Caitlyn smiled back, "You're the only one that caught on, this quickly."

I shrugged, "Some things are easy to read."

Caitlyn sat back and sighed, "You have no idea how much Jason wants to see you. He wanted to invite you to our third year anniversary but-"

"Shane will be there." I finished, "Either you're trying to protect him from me or you're scared of what will happen if I was around."

"Protect him? Hell, I care about you more than I care about Shane." Caitlyn argued. "Besides what's the worst you can do to Shane? Gouge his eyes out?"

"Good idea."

"Mitchie." Caitlyn said sternly, "You don't want to give him the benefit of self pride that he still get's under your skin."

"What am I suppose to do? Be a-okay-"

"No, but you could move on." Caitlyn ran her finger tip around the rim of the small china cup. She looked down, embarrassed at the fact that she straight out told me to forget about the past. If it were only that simple. Do I really have to explain to her how much I went through so far? Something that had a profound impact can leave scars that will remind you of what happen, even if you try to forget.

"I am over him." I dryly added, "It would be nice if he could get a glimpse of what he put me through."

Caitlyn bit her lip, "It wouldn't change a thing. He loves Lola."

I don't know why that bothered me so much. I shifted around in my seat and Caitlyn noticed. She notices everything.

"Do you still-"

"No. I'm sure I still hate his guts." I replied quickly.

"But think about it." Caitlyn reached out for my hand, "Do you?"

Of course I don't. I have all this pent up resentment towards him because he hurt me. Let's face it. When you're sixteen and in love you think he's the only one. There's only one thing about us that set us apart from other couples. Shane was extremely famous and I was taking my time writing out songs that would be excellent for a first album. We spent our time together giggling and singing out my songs. He helped me out and the moment he dropped us I burned everything that we did together.

"No." I whispered.

---

I had to explain to Caitlyn that I don't have a phone. She poked fun at me until she realized I was serious. She promised that on her days off she would swing by. A week past by and I didn't hear any from the trio. Thank God.

On a bright sunny Wednesday, I ventured out to the park in my tricycle to enjoy my day off. It was nearly empty on account of the weatherman predicted a strong thunderstorm coming from the east. I scoffed at my small tv. If my arm wasn't tingling then it must not be true. Besides, there wasn't a cloud in sight. Today was the perfect day to sunbathe and take a perfectly good nap under the warm sun. I had a small blanket in my basket along with a snack or two. Ah, yes. Relax. I can't wait to find the perfect spot under a sparse tree.

It didn't take me long to find that particular tree that allowed more sunshine than it did shade. I jumped off my ride and rummaged through the back to take out my blanket. I tucked it under my arm and grabbed some more necessities.

Sunglasses.

Sunscreen.

Sunflower seeds.

I smoothed out the blanket on the thick blades of freshly cut grass that softly cushion my back once I laid out on it. I slipped on my glasses and rest my head as I let out a big sigh. This was the life. There really isn't anything better than a day like this. I kicked off my sandals and dug my feet into the cool grass.

I was originally planning on accomplishing that list I made. I was going to start off with the dresses and go shopping for some fabric but I got sidetracked. While my small tv was announcing the weather for today I was rummaging through boxes and boxes of some old magazines. I gagged at some of the headlines.

Shane and MitchieThe new Sonny and Cher

How wrong they were about us. I climbed down my usual 3 flights of stairs to throw away the trash and to get rid of more Shane in my life. How did I not noticed I kept those crappy articles? When I finally stepped outside I felt the warm breeze of spring on the way. It was perfect. Not too hot not too cold. I got a sudden flash of brilliance and I ran back to grab everything I needed for a relaxing time at Central Park. I decided those sundresses could wait. Perhaps after my cat nap, I could browse through a near by fabric store.

Hmmm?

As I pleasantly contemplated my evening I, somehow, drifted off to a terrific sleep.

---

"Mitchie?"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I felt a slight random pickle on my skin. I didn't have to open my eyes or pay attention to know how drenched my surroundings were. I was almost untouched by the rain that was light. I could hear nothing but the loud hum of thousands of gallons of water being poured in the New York atmosphere. The sudden gust of chills ran down my spine. So much for a sunny day. Maybe I need to give this weatherman more credit than I usually do.

"Mitchie get up, It's gonna get worse."

My eyes flew open and Nate's face was nearly inches away from mine. I shoved him away and I was suddenly pelted with tiny rain drops. That's when I noticed that Nate was holding an umbrella over me so I wouldn't get wet. I would have thanked him for the kind gesture but…it's Nate we're talking about. What is he doing here in the first place? He held out his hand which I smacked away. I quickly rolled my semi-wet blanket and rolled it into a ball. My sunflower seeds spilt all over the grass when I gathered my blanket. I groaned and tossed the ball into my tricycle. Nate was trying to follow as I scrambled for my things.

"Mitchie, let's go. It's getting heavier." Nate yelled. He was right. The sound of the rain became noticeable louder because it was now pouring on me. In seconds flat, my clothes were sticking to me like a second skin. Nate stood close by as dry as ever. I was going to reach for my shoes when I felt his arms snake around my waist and suddenly I was off the ground. Nate was carrying me towards his car parked not far off. As if life couldn't get any worse… I squirmed around trying to make him put me down. Has he not realized that I left my things back there? Heck I'm even my shoes where in the same spot as I last put them.

"Stay still!" Nate yelled.

"No!"

I kicked Nate somewhere. I'm not sure where but he finally dropped me and I sprinted towards my things. The grass was pooling an inch of water now. When I took each step towards that tree I was under, water would splash up to my knees. I'm not sure why I'm sharing that detail. Water was everywhere. Midway, I noticed I could finally cross off something off my list.

1. Ride a camel.
2. Skip around the park, barefooted.
3. Make my own line of Mitchie Sun-dresses.
4. Break any of the Connect Three band member's guitar's.
5. Don't ever break out into the music scene with a name as bad as Bleeding Sunshine.

Ok, so I wasn't skipping. I was running. It's was the same thing, right? I was barefooted in the park! Maybe this self accomplishment thing wasn't so bad. I took my sandals and threw them in my tricycle. I scanned the area to make sure I wasn't leaving anything behind. Once I knew for sure I had everything, I jumped on my tricycle and started to pedal. Before I hit the sidewalk, Nate was there to block me.

"What was that for?" He yelled. He clutched his stomach as he painfully looked at me. He was still dry. I felt a bit guilty… I mean I did inflict physical harm on the boy. But then again, he was going to shove me in his car while he uncaringly left my things out in the open. How inconsiderate of him.

"Move!" I yelled back.

"No!"

"Nate I'm not kidding when I say I'll run you over! I've done it before and I'll do it again!" I snapped.

He laughed. He was fucking laughing! I glowered as I curved around him, making my way to the sidewalk. He was quickly by my side, jogging next to my slow pace.

"Don't be mad Mitchie!" He snorted, "I've seriously never…you just need to see yourself mad. It's almost as entertaining as-"

I glared at him. Here he was, talking to me like an old friend, carrying that STUPID umbrella as I was shivering from the rain. How chivalrous! "Hey Nate can I see your umbrella?" I asked.

Nate shrugged and passed the wooden pole to me. He neared me to be in the area of safety. I closed his stupid umbrella, tossed it in my basket, and pedaled for my life.

---

I had managed to towel dry my hair when the inevitable knock of the door was heard. I was surprise that Nate wasn't pounding on the door. True to my nature, I took my time. I combed my hair to rid of any tangles. I changed into a fresh pair of shorts and a small cardigan. I even tidied up a bit just so things were, you know, a bit more presentable. When I finally made my way to the door I hear a muffle of laughs and someone muttering death threats.

I swung the door open to find Caitlyn and Jason screwing up their face, trying not to laugh. Peggy and Ted were holding back a very wet Nate who decided to lunge at me. I leaned on the door frame smirking at him (besides seeing Ted and Peggy together). I hope Nate's had enough of me because I certainly had enough of him. "Would you like to come in?" I motioned the five bodies inside.

"I'd like to show-"

"Nate!" Peggy pinched Nate's side. Nate fell quiet but kept on throwing me death glares. "You promised you wouldn't if we brought you here."

My smirk was gone. They had a deal? What?

Jason turned to me, "Sorry for the short visit. I'd like to see you again, Mitchie but we have to run. Nate, ten minutes."

I glance at Nate who flickered his sight on Jason before it went back to me.

"Rain check?" Jason asked.

I nodded.

Four bodies left as quickly as possible, leaving Nate and I all by ourselves. The boy looked hideous, if I say so myself. You know how some guys look ultra drool-worthy wet? Well, Nate doesn't, not at all. He looked pale and he shivered like a tiny Chihuahua. His hair was glued right on his scalp which made him look like a poodle that just took a bath. Hmm, Nate was dog-like.

I cleared my throat, "Would you like to come in?""That would be splendid." Nate growled. He dragged himself in, leaving a puddle of rain out in the hallway. As he entered Nate striped away layers of clothing, leaving the wet articles on my floor.

Socks.

Jacket.

Sweater.

Jeans.

I glared at him. Nate's scowl turned upwards when he saw that I was not enjoying his clothes on my floor. He striped down to a thin undershirt and some basketball shorts. There was goosebumps on every inch of his body. Not that I was staring…it just seemed like it. I threw him a questioning look.

"Jason and I were going to go shoot some hoops after we record this new song." Nate cleared. "He'll be lucky if I survive the trip over to the studio."

I crinkled my nose, "I'll gladly lend you some extra clothes if you just stop bothering me."

Nate scowled again, "What the hell is your problem?"I crossed my arms, "What makes you think I have one?"

"Mitchie, you're a bitch. Seriously. I thought Shane was bad enough but you made me change my mind." Nate spat. He picked up his socks and wrung them out. I tried my best not to punch him in the gut after he made yet another puddle of water on my floor. I marched into my bathroom and tossed Nate a towel. It's killing me that I had to be semi-civil to him when Nate was being so irrational himself.

"I was trying to help you." Nate muttered, "We all went to Java Junction to see if you would like to join us at the studio but Ted said you never worked on a Wednesday. Peggy came here to see if you were home. I'm not sure how we thought of looking at Central Park. I would have given up the moment I found out you weren't working."

"Why didn't you?" I asked.

Nate plopped down in my chair, soaking it.

"Because I really wanted you to be with us." Nate said sourly. "And Caitlyn and Jason wanted to formally invite you to their Anniversary Party."

I scoffed, "Right."

Nate glared up at me and continued his story, "We found you sprawled out asleep. I didn't want to wake you because I somehow knew you were going inflict harm on anybody who tried."

I smiled. Well at least he knows me better than I knew.

"So I waited and when it began to rain, I thought I rather face a punch than too have you wet." Nate rolled his eyes, "And if it isn't obvious, you can see nothing worked out as I planned."

If his explanation was suppose to make me forgive him, it's not working. It's only giving me a sense of suspicion that Nate is stalking me. All the signs are there: pops up unexpectedly, sends his friends to watch me, and he apparently won't shut up about me.

"Nate, it's just water. You're worse than an over protective mother." I sighed, "And besides, I was not going to leave my things behind."

Nate snorted, "What things? That piece of junk and stained worn out blanket?"

I frowned, "That 'piece of junk' was my first big splurge and that blanket has some fond memories!""Do all your memories involve yourself curled up alone and pathetically staring at the ceiling?" Nate spat.

I couldn't talk. How in the hell did he know that? Maybe this stalking thing is worse than I thought.

"Mitchie, quit trying to block us out of your life. We're here to help." Nate earnestly said.

He gave me this look of an outcry of plead.

"I don't need any." I whispered out.

Nate nodded. He didn't say another word. He simply stood up and gathered his wet things and left. I'm not sure why I felt this searing pain. All I wanted to do is curl up in my blanket and cry but that's no use. I guess my pillow will do just fine.

---

REVIEW!