You Still Love Her – Chapter 3
Author's Note: I gotta be honest, I'm kinda losing my muse. I initially didn't want to involve A in the story but I don't know. I feel like this story is getting too boring to write. Is it? But then again, I don't really know how to write about A either. Should I include A? This chapter is mostly about Emily and Paige finally talking about the break-up. Not to each other of course, but to their friends. There's a lot of unsolved feelings and words left unsaid. It's frustrating honestly, but I need them to be that annoying for now. It's a slow and difficult process for them. They're heartbroken, devastated and confused. I'm not a sadist but I want it to hurt. Coz if you don't hurt, you don't care. Right?
Emily's POV
I told Hanna and Aria about the kiss and it didn't help at all. Clearly, they are my bestest friends ever. But it never helps to talk about Paige with them. It's like their friendship with Paige was never based from my relationship. Talking to them about Paige doesn't give me any insights to what she's thinking. Sometimes I feel as though my friends aren't on my side at all. Sometimes, however, I feel as though they don't know Paige at all. I don't know, it's just all so messed up and I really need to talk. And all I got is this Andrew Jackson. What do you know about my love life, Jackson? Stupid history test.
"EMILY!"
Emily was so stuck deep in her head that she got a major shock from Toby screaming behind her.
"What the hell, Tobs?" Emily asked annoyed but gave him a hug anyways.
Toby looked at Emily weird and picked up the twenty dollar note Emily didn't even realized she dropped.
"Hey, I'm just gonna get coffee and head upstairs. Come with?" Emily was ready to protest but Toby was quicker, "I'm not taking no for an answer. At the rate you're staring at that loser, there's no way you're studying anyways"
General POV
*on the phone*
"Hey Paige, I need caffeine, come to the brew with me?" Spencer asked casually
"I don't know, Spence. I'm too lazy to go out."
"Come on, pleaseeeeeeee. You owe me for that history last week. Just accompany me for awhile?" Spencer begged.
"Fine."
Emily's POV
"Emmmmmmmmm" Toby waves his hands in front of Emily "Come on, what's wrong? Talk to me!"
"Huh? What? What makes you think anything is wrong? I'm just tired." Emily answered.
"I know you, Em"
"Paige broke up with me"
"WHAT?"
"And I kissed Alison"
"WHAAAAAAAT? How could you do that to Paige? Emilyyyyyyyyyy, she's like the best girl you ever dated! Why would you ruin it like that?" Toby asked.
"She broke up with me Toby. I didn't do anything to ruin in. SHE BROKE UP WITH ME" Emily didn't realized she was crying but tears were pouring out of her eyes like a waterfall.
"Hey, I'm sorry, shhhhh. It's going to be ok"
Emily didn't believe Toby. She didn't know how could anything ever be ok. She's crying so hard now and Toby arms are they only thing keeping her from falling apart. She don't know why she's crying. She don't know if she's sad or angry. She feels numb. She can't feel.
Paige's POV
"Two red eye please and a blueberry muffin" Spencer ordered for them.
"So… We haven't talked in awhile" Spencer began.
"Cut the crap, Spence. We both know you have questions, just ask" Paige isn't in the mood for small talk. Truth is, she isn't in the mood for talking at all.
"Ok, first question, are you okay?" Spencer asked as she looked Paige directly in the eyes.
Paige continued to stare at the floor.
"I take that as a no, so why did you do it? Spencer asked again.
"I'm not enough for her Spence, she's not happy."
"What? You're being ridiculous. She's the happiest she had ever been when she's with you"
"No, Spencer. She's not happy. She seems happy but we keep getting into these fights. And she keeps snapping at me. I can't do anything right. If I'm worried, she's mad. If I messing with her, she thinks I'm immature. I try to do all this stupid things to make her happy but it always backfires. I can't win, Spencer. And now I know why."
"Why?"
"Please don't make me say it. It's one thing to break your own heart, it's another to break pieces of what's leftover again and again." Alison. It's always Alison.
"Ok, I'm sorry. You know I'm always here right? If you ever need me, this doesn't change things." Spencer looks at her pitifully.
She wanted to scream. Stop looking at me like I'm made of glass. She wanted to cry. Why is this happening to me? But she know nothing will change the facts. Emily isn't hers anymore. "I know"
"And for the record, I think you're mistaken. Emily did love you"
Paige wants to believe her. Paige does believe Spencer, but it still wasn't enough."I know, but not enough"
Emily's POV
"She broke up with me because she thinks I'm in love with Alison. I didn't cheat on her Toby. I didn't do anything. But she still broke up with me. And the worse thing was that I didn't stop her. I don't know why I didn't stop her. Maybe I'm in love with Alison? A part of me thinks that I just… I just don't know how to feel anymore. Like I can't function properly. It's like I'm made to not love, never love. Love is just some deadly curse. Some cruel game. And I felt relieved. I don't know why I felt relieved, but I did. Maybe, if we're not together then it's ok. Things are better this way. She's safe. No A, no Alison. No one can hurt her."
"Oh Em" Toby didn't know what to say. He knew how it felt to give up on love altogether. For a long time, he was questioning himself. With Jenna, with Alison, with Spencer. He was on the A team to get back at Alison. But falling in love with the younger Hastings wasn't part of the plan. He knew he was betraying her but eventually they managed to move past that. And he knew he couldn't be any luckier.
They stayed quiet like that for awhile, Toby just holding her. Eventually Emily stopped crying, and pulled away.
"You love Paige, Em" Toby said as a matter of factly rather than a question.
"Of course, I do. She had been my rock all these while. After Maya. After A. After the lighthouse and the website. She has been with me through it all. And I guess I just got used to it. I never thought about what if she's no longer here. It feels like a hole in my heart. Like something's missing. And I can't tell why or how did it happen. But I know only Paige can fill that part of me."
"Then go get your girl back." Toby said simply
"But how?"
Paige's POV
"It's on the house, it saddens me to see sucha pretty face frowning on this lovely night"
"Thanks, I just broke up with my girlfriend" Paige looked to the bartender. She was quite a beauty. Not beautiful in the same way Emily was but she still is pretty.
"Well, I'm sure she'll miss you a lot. You're crazy beautiful" the bartender winked at Paige. It reminded Paige of how Emily liked to wink after giving her a compliment. It's getting on her nerves how Emily seems to appear everywhere and at any instance.
Spencer's POV
"So…?" Hanna asked expectantly
"So what, Han?"
"How was your talk with the other half of Paily?"
"Fine"
"Aren't you gonna share the deets?"
"Deets? Where do you come up with these ridiculous words, Han?"
"Hey, it just shows that I can be creative. Soo…?"
"Han, I wasn't there to interrogate Paige. I was being a friend. There's nothing to tell. She's pretty upset but that's a given knowledge" Spencer was still annoyed at Hanna. She doesn't know why. But she feels annoyed that Hanna is taking Alison's comeback so calmly. She wanted someone to agree with her. Feel the same way as her. But no one seems to care. Why everyone is so glad Alison is alive is way beyond her. Alison was a terrible person, and a terrible friend. She played Emily, she messed with Toby and she hurt Paige. Alison hurt a lot of people. And people seemed to forget that when she died. And everyone is forgetting it again now that she's back from the dead. Dying didn't make her an angel. And surviving didn't make her change for the better. Alison hurt too many people. They're in this mess because of Alison. A was out to get them because of Alison. A made their life a living hell because of Alison. Nothing good ever came from befriending Alison. And she wants to regret but she can't. The friends she loved dearly were because of Alison. Sometimes she wondered how it would be like if she didn't met Alison. What if she met Hanna, Aria, Emily, Paige and Toby on her own. Would they still be the way they are now?
"I sooooo do not approve of McHastings" Hanna mumbled to no one herself.
Paige's POV
"No more scotchy, you're wayyyy drunk. Can I call someone to come pick you up?"
"Emily" Paige mumbled looking at the beautiful face in front of her. Nope, this girl is blonde. She's not Emily. Emily is not here, Emily is no longer hers.
"Hey Emily? Yeah this girl is drunk and we're closing up. Can you come get her?" the bartender spoke into Paige's phone.
"You're pretty" Paige mumbled out to the bartender.
"And you're drunk. Come on scotchy, stay up. Don't pass out on me" Paige listened to her and tried to keep her head up. But everything was spinning. She tried keeping her eyes open, but it was too hard so she just decided to count instead to keep herself awake. One. Two. Three. Three. Three. Four?
"Damn it, P, come on. I'm taking you home." the voice jolt Paige from her seat on the bar
Emily? Shit that sounds like Emily. Paige turned around only to be grabbed by a tall brunette "Em? What are you doing here?"
"Taking you home" she didn't realize she was no longer on the chair or that Emily's palms were holding her up firmly. What? Take me home? I can't go home with her.
"But I wanna stay here." And drink. Drink you away, Em. I'm pretty sure you'd disappear if I'm drunker.
"Paige" Don't say my name. It sounds so good from your lips.
Paige suddenly noticed the beauty standing in front of her. Oh yeahh, the pretty bartender. She's still here? "Em, tell the girl she's pretty. She doesn't believe me" Just the way you never believe me, Em.
Emily's POV
"Probably not your best words tonight scotchy, you'd be in trouble later" the blonde girl smirked.
Emily felt sudden rage surging in her veins. Who is this girl? Well, yeah she's pretty. But Emily doesn't like her attitude. She gives off such a cocky vibe.
"P, let's go."
"No, Emily. Go back to Alison, I don't want to go with you" Alison. Maybe I should. I never have to take care of a drunk Alison ever. But then she's perfect. You're real. You're Paige. Fuck. What is wrong with me? Is there even a comparison? Comparing Alison and Paige is like comparing the sun and rain. Emily just can't decide if she prefers the sun or the rain. Coz Alison is bright and she makes you feel like the world belongs to you. But Paige, however, Paige is like a storm. She makes Emily yearn something she never did before with her past lovers. Paige is like a storm. And everytime she dances in the rain, Emily realized that it's not so bad. Emily was thrown out her thoughts by the bartender's movement.
"I'd help you" cocky ass said walking out of the bar and standing on Paige's other side, grabbing Paige's arm. Who does this bitch think she is?
"No I don't want to go with her." Paige whined like a little child
"Scotchy"
"No! No I don't want to go with you Emily. You're the love of my life. And I'm trying to do the right thing. Let you go, be happy. So just leave me alone. I can't be near you and not want you. I want you so much. I love you so much. And it hurts so bad having to let you go. Please. Please, just please"
Author's note: I always get annoyed when it's raining and I need to go out. But some days I ignore it and just walk in the rain, it makes me feel alive. Anyone else feels that way? Or am I just weird? That's what I'm trying to describe when I say Paige is a storm. I imagine myself meeting a storm someday and loving every second of rain with them. Haha sorry for being so cheesy.
