Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own Thomas Sanders or any of his sides.
He knew he should tell them. However, he was too embarrassed and he didn't think he would ever willingly tell them his secret.
The truth was, he had no idea how it happened. He guessed that he was cursed by someone or doomed to forever be an outcast. All he actually knew was that it happened mainly when he was overly anxious, sad, frustrated. Basically if he felt very strong emotions at any time. He wished it didn't happen at all. He wished he didn't turn into, that- that thing. But he had absolutely no control over it.
He, Anxiety, now known as Virgil, turns into a small, fluffy, black kitten.
When it first happened, it took an entire week to transform back. Which when he thought about it, it made sense that he stayed in that form for so long considering how many emotions he went through during that period of time. He had went from terrified to anxious to frustrated to depressed and the cycle had repeated the entire week.
Thankfully, however, the others never came to check on him. For two reasons; they simply did not care since they were not on good terms back them, and they had no idea where his room was (which was a blessing in disguise at the time).
The issue was, both of those reasons were invalid now.
It was about to happen again. He felt it. He could sense the tingling in his limbs and knew he was going to transform. Why did it have to happen now of all times? His family- because he could say that now- was right next to him. They were having a moment.
"Thanks dad," He said. Patton had just confronted him because he was anxious and hesitant to join them on Christmas. Now they were all in a dog pile beside the couch.
"No problem, kiddo," he said and rested his head on Logan's shoulder and Logan nuzzled into the touch. They both sighed in contentment and dozed off. It was so adorable he wanted to scream. Roman was lying next to Virgil with Virgil's head in his lap, facing toward them. They were all asleep now except him.
That's when he felt it. It was about to happen and he couldn't help his eyes starting to moisten. This was the first Christmas he's spent with them, or with anyone and it had been so perfect. And that was the reason he was getting so emotional.
What did he do? If he ran that would be suspicious and they would come looking for him and maybe find out. But if he stayed he would turn in to a kitten and they would all know and it would go back to the way things were--
Stop. There is no need to panic, wait yes there was a need to panic, he just needed to stop thinking so negatively because they will not find out.
He lightly tried pushing himself up off of Roman's lap and stood up. He stood there for a second and shook his head, trying to orientate himself. He gazed over the three of them. They were all so cute, cuddling together. He smiled softly to himself before turning and power walking to his room. Just before he left the living room, he heard some fumbling and shuffles. He turned around and they were all standing there, eyes barely open and focusing on him.
"Virgil? What are you doing up?" Roman asked.
"Virgil, is there something wrong?" Ah, of course Logan would recognize he was in a hurry and trying to leave.
"Uh, what? No see. I'm fine, everything's fine," He said 'smoothly' and quickly, trying to act like he's fine.
"You know we can tell when your'e lying, right? Plus your'e not the best actor here, I am." Ugh. Of course Roman would say something like that while also somehow being arrogant at the same time.
"I, uh, just have to use the bathroom is all," Virgil said, making up an excuse quickly. He ran into the hallway and made a final sprint into his room.
"But the bathroom is the other way," he heard Logan yelling to him. "That's your room," he said, confused.
"Something's wrong," Patton said worriedly. "We need to find out what's troubling him and kill it," Roman continued dramatically.
"Don't be ridiculous Roman, it seemed he was in a rush for something. His expression just said he has a secret he's keeping from us." Logan said, being perceptive as usual. "Most studies show eighty-six percent of people with secrets keep them from their friends because they're afraid of what everyone will think," he continued.
"But Virgil knows by now he can trust us with anything. Right?" Patton said but mumbled the last part to himself. "Well, what do we do then? Regardless, we have to confront him and find out what's wrong," he continued. He started fast walking toward Virgil's room and the others followed at the same pace. They knocked on the door.
"Virgil, you okay in there?" Patton asked worriedly. "You can tell us anything," Roman said.
Logan followed with, "We wouldn't judge you, you can trust us no matter what it is."
As soon as Virgil closed his door he saw his room grow ten times bigger. He fell down on his four feet and han- his paws, he reminded himself. His ears perked when he heard mummers and footsteps right outside his door. He panicked for a second and hid under the bed with his tiny head peaking out. They knocked on the door.
"Virgil, you okay in there?" he heard Patton question through the door. Next he heard Roman saying, "You can tell us anything," and Logan saying, "We wouldn't judge you, you can trust us no matter what it is." His ears flattened against his head. He didn't think they really would if they learned his secret. What was worse was if he didn't respond they might pry or worse, even open the door.
They knocked on the door once more.
"Virgil? Why aren't you saying anything?" Roman asked worriedly. "We will come in if we have to." He said as an afterthought.
"Roman's right. If you don't say something in the next ten seconds we will come in," Patton said firmly. 'Oh no. What am I going to do.' Virgil thought. He couldn't say anything, obviously. But what if they came in here and he wasn't there. His tail swished anxiously.
"-seven" He caught Patton counting.
"six,-" Patton and Roman must've been alternating between saying numbers.
"-five," Patton
"four,-" Roman
"-three," Patton
"two,-" Roman
"-and one, fine then were coming in!" Roman called, taking the last number as well.
He heard a very large BANG! And a loud crash of Roman breaking the door down. His ears somehow managed to perk up and flatten at the same time. He saw them take a couple steps into his room and look around.
"Virgil?" Patton sounded confused.
"How are you not in here? We saw you come in here," Logan said, also confused.
They left the door open. He has a chance to escape. He army crawled with his little body out from under the bed and then attempted to leap toward the door. Unfortunately, that was the moment when Roman saw him. He let out an 'Awww' and scooped up his small form to coddle to his chest.
"Guys look! I didn't know Virgil had a cat!" Roman said excitedly. Patton ran over and started cooing at the little kitten while Logan walked over and observed it curiously.
"It's so cuuuteee," Patton cooed even more of the black kitten.
"I don't even care if I'm allergic!" he continued.
"I wonder what his name is.. Virgil must not have put a collar on him or this little kit took it off," Roman said. "We should name him! Well, we'll call him whatever until Virgil tells us his real name," he continued. He hummed in thought. Patton also got a thoughtful look on his face while Logan continued to observe the kitten.
Virgil scowled. Well, as much as one could scowl as an adorable kitten.
"Hmm, he seems to act like Virgil as well and can understand us, if that scowl is anything o go by," Logan said staring the kitten in the face. The kitten just gave a annoyed huff and rolled his eyes. "Definitely Virgil's cat."
"Maybe, something, like- to do with Virgil?" Patton suggested, stumbling over his words a little.
"Well the obvious would be Verge or Anx but we should be able to come up with a more creative name, don't ya think?" Roman said, brainstorming while subconsciously petting the kitten and softly scratching behind the kittens ears. Only noticing when the cat started purring and nuzzling into the touch.
"Maybe Sev?" Patton suggested, grinning broadly.
"Why Sev?" Logan asked in confusion, not seeing the connection to Virgil. Roman, however, had no trouble seeing the connection and reference.
"AH! Like from Harry Potter!" He exclaimed excitedly while Logan was still staring at them in confusion. "It's a reference to Harry Potter, ya know, Severus Snape. He wears all black, at the beginning he's seen as the cruel and/or bad guy but in the end he's a hero and has a soft spot. He was misunderstood, kinda how Virgil was," he continued ecstatically, though his energy toned down at the end. "Sev was the nickname Lily, his lifelong crush and the only person he had deeply cared for, gave him."
Virgil's heart skipped a beat. Even though he knew they accepted them, he was still always unsure if they still felt that way when he wasn't around. He felt like he was going to tear up but blinked the tears back.
"Hmm, well I guess that does seem appropriate," Logan said. Patton turned and faced the cat.
"Yeah, what do you think?" Patton asked the kitten softly. The cat gave a small nod. Patton grinned and so did Roman.
"Well, Virgil's obviously not in this room. He could be anywhere in the mindscape, so I suppose we should just wait until he comes back. If he was upset he would most likely prefer to be alone, so we shouldn't push him too hard." Logan said.
Patton frowned, but agreed nonetheless. "Yeah... I guess."
Three of them plus Sev walked back to the living room.
What do I do? Virgil thought. While he was trying to think, Patton and Roman had sat him on the couch and started to pet and coddle him. As much as he hated to admit it, he was having a lot of fun.
"I'm surprised you haven't had a fit, padre. I mean, you're allergic and so far you have had no reaction," Roman said, breaking Virgil out of his thoughts. He tilted his head, he was curious about that too.
"I have a theory," Logan stated popping out of nowhere. "I believe that since we are inside Thomas' head and in the Mindscape, we don't have any physical allergy's. It's only when we're in the physical world that we contract that kind of reaction. Make sense?" He continued.
"I.. think?" Patton said slowly.
"Anyway, I believe Sev will find this satisfactory. I was busy conjuring it while you two were having 'play time.'" Logan said, holding out a ball of colorful yarn.
As soon as Virgil saw the ball of yarn, his throat made a noise he wasn't even sure how he made it. He meowed softly and lunged toward Logan, landing on his chest.
He needed to focus, needed to panic about the others but he couldn't because he wants the yarn. He wants it so bad. -theyarntheyarntheyarn-
He was only broken out of his obsessive thoughts by the yarn disappearing. It was like he broke out of a trance because he noticed he was on Logan's chest, on the floor. He must've knocked him down somehow.
Logan was looking slightly dazed and confusingly looked at him.
"Well, I guess he likes the yarn," Roman said with a small smirk on his face.
"Yes... I suppose so..." Logan murmured.
"Awwww!! That was so adorable!" Patton squealed.
Logan sat up and held Sev to his chest.
"That was an interesting reaction.. I should do research as to why cats react that way in response to such a simple thing as yarn." Logan mused.
"Before you do that, how about we watch a couple of movies? Mainly Disney, of course," Roman said, ever the Disney fan.
"Ooooo!! Yeah! That sounds like fun!" Patton said, bouncing while he spoke. Logan sighed and nodded instead of saying anything.
Roman clapped his hands together in excitement and shouted "YES!" and took off toward to turn the TV on.
Soon enough, three of them, plus Sev (Virgil), were sat down watching 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' on the TV. Virgil didn't stay awake for long though. With him being cuddles by Patton and Roman, plus one of his favorite Disney movies playing, he was out very quickly.
Half-way through the movie Patton fell asleep followed by Roman ten minutes later. Logan was the last to fall asleep, managing to last ten minutes before 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' ended.
What they all didn't notice, was that at around five o'clock in the morning, Sev turned back into Virgil.
Patton was the first to wake up. Being the fatherly figure of the group, he was always the one to wake up and make breakfast for the others.
He sighed in contentment. He was very comfortable and was worried him getting up would wake the others. Especially Sev, cats and dogs were both known to have keen ears that pick up on the smallest noises.
He smiled when he remembered that Sev had fallen asleep on his lap last night. It was so adorable!
He should probably get up soon, he mused to himself. The others are bound to wake up any time now.
He opened his eyes and lifted his hand to give Sev a rub on the back then move him, when instead he was met with someone's head. Virgil's specifically.
His brows furrowed in confusion, where did Virgil come from? How did he weasel his way in between all of them? Where is Sev? What happened last night?
Virgil was resting his head on Patton's lap and the rest of his body was on Roman's. Logan was on top of Virgil's legs and his lips were moving, even while sleeping.
There is no way Virgil would have been able to crawl between all of them without them noticing. So how did he do it? He was broken out of his thoughts when Roman started to speak and wake up.
"Your honor I didn't do it. I give you my word. I'm a prince for goodness sake... What?... Oh good morning Patton," Roman said deliriously. Patton giggled and replied with a simple 'good morning' back. That was when he noticed Virgil and the positions they all were in.
"Say, Patton, you wouldn't know where Virgil came from and where Sev went?" he said, a frown marring his face.
Patton sighed. "No, that's what I was wondering right before you woke up," he replied.
"Should we wake him up and ask? Or wake Logan?" Roman asked, adding the last part as an afterthought.
"We shouldn't wake up Virgil just yet, he hardly gets enough sleep as it is. Logan, however, I don't know. We've never had to wake him up before. He usually gets up by himself and has his coffee before anyone can speak to him, so he could be grumpy in the morning and we just not know that yet," Patton replied.
Roman grimaced, "Yeah that probably wouldn't be a good idea. I'm sure he'll wake up soon enough though," he said glancing over to Logan.
There was a pause of silence where neither of hem knew what to do or say. They sat there for maybe ten or twenty minutes, both lost in their own thoughts, when they saw Logan's eyes flutter open.
"Patt'n? Rom'n? Wha' time is it?" He asked while yawning. Patton refrained from squealing at him. It was so adorable! Luckily, Roman answered for them.
"It's... 12:43," he responded, checking his watch. Logan's eyes fully opened and he shot up into a sitting position.
"12:43?! Oh m goodness! I can only imagine how unproductive Thomas is being with all of us lying around and doing nothing," he rushed out loudly.
"Calm down teach, it's the day after Christmas and it's Sunday," Roman reassured. "Even if we all were already awake, we probably wouldn't be doing anything anyway," he continued when Logan didn't look satisfied with his answer.
"Well, I suppose," Logan said unhappily, "but tomorrow we are doing something at least a little productive."
"Of course," Patton jumped in. Just then, Logan became aware of the situation at hand. He glanced at Virgil and the positions they were all in. He frowned. He noticed something missing.
"Patton, Roman, where's Sev?" he asked. They both sighed.
"We don't know, and before you ask it, no, we don't know how or when Virgil got here," Roman answered.
"We were kinda hoping you would know though..," Patton said, trailing off at the end. He looked at Logan hopefully. Logan's frown deepened.
"No, though I was the last to fall asleep last night, if I recall correctly. Sev was still there and Virgil was nowhere to be seen," Logan adopted a thoughtful look on his face.
It wasn't possible.. Or was it? They are in the mindscape where it is known to be crazy and unpredictable. Could this be the secret Virgil has been keeping? It would make sense that he old be ashamed or embarrassed about it.
"Logan, what are you thinking? You have a theory, don't you? And don't even deny it, I know your thinking face," Roman pestered Logan. "Don't ask why," he added when Logan opened his mouth.
Logan rolled his eyes and replied, "Well, yes, I do have a theory. But I don't have that much data to support it. It sounds like something from your professional-make-believe. It just doesn't make sense...," he trailed off.
"What doesn't?" Patton asked confusedly.
"Well, think about it." Logan started. "Last night Virgil ran off into his room and completly vanished, which shouldn't be possible. Then, Sev showed up out of nowhere in Virgil's room where Virgil was nowhere present. There weren't even any cat bowls for food or water, there were no toys for Sev. It doesn't add up. Now, Virgil shows up in the place where Sev was, Sev is gone and nowhere in sight. I don't know if these are just coincidences or clues to a bigger puzzle." He ranted.
As Logan was speaking, their faces got more and more confused until the end. Then, thy both understood where Logan was coming from.
"I mean it does make sense. Plus he does hiss at people when he gets really annoyed," Roman said, smirking slightly at the end.
"AWwww! That would be so cute too! It seems to purrfectly fit him too," Patton cooed. "Sorry, I had to make at least one pun," he said at seeing Logan's exasperated look.
"Do we really think that Virgil would be able to keep this big of a secret from us for, what, twenty years?" Roman asked.
"Well, we haven't really payed any attention to him until recently. So, it is a possibility." Logan said guiltily.
"But! We still saw him every once and a while and he never was a cat before," Patton protested weakly.
"Yeah, but if he can control it then he probably wouldn't transform in front of us," Roman countered.
"He most likely can't control it. Last night he practically sprinted away from us, there must be some sort of trigger for it.." Logan said. "Also, Patton, he used to disappear all the time. He has probably had to deal with this the whole time. Unless he was cursed by something in Roman's realm," He furrowed his brows thoughtfully.
"No, he's never been in my realm without me. And he's never been cursed in my presence. Well, actually, there was this one time when we were kids. It was by the dragon witch, but it didn't do anything to him... Unless it was a curse where the affects come later by a trigger, like you said," Roman said with dawning horror.
He put is head in his hands and sighed. "This is all my fault." Patton opened his mouth to say something when;
"What's all your fault, Princey?" Virgil asked tiredly. He sat up and yawned, stretching out (like a cat, the others noticed). The others didn't know what to say. Doesn't Virgil remember?-
Virgil froze. His eyes widened and his breathing hitched. He remembered now. Last night, changing, Sev, the yarn, the movie night. It all came back to him now. Did the others know now? They probably do, I mean he went to sleep as Sev and woke up as Virgil.
"We need to talk," Patton said.
Those dreaded words. Virgil's heart started beating faster. That sounded bad, were they mad at him? Were they disappointed? He hoped they weren't but he couldn't tell. He needed to breathe or he was going to have an anxiety attack. His hands started shaking and he shakily took a deep breath, which didn't help. They were all staring at him, judging him. His vision started to blur from unshed tears.
"Hey, no no, it's alright, we're not mad. We just want to confirm our suspicions," Patton said gently after seeing Virgil start to panic. He guided Virgil to the couch and sat him down, the others following. Virgil slowly started to collected himself. once he was done, Logan decided to speak up.
"Virgil, you don't have to keep secrets from us. It's bad for your health to keep doing this," he said.
"Sorry," Virgil muttered, ashamed.
"No need to apologize, kiddo. We just want to help you," Patton responded quickly.
"It's just... I don't want to burden you guys with my problems. You all already have enough going on without my crazy issues," he admitted.
"Yes, we do," Roman said. At seeing Patton's glare and Virgil shrink into himself, he continued, "But we can always make time for you too. We are a family after all." He amended.
Virgil looked up. They were still looking at him, but he noticed they weren't nearly as mean as his brain made them out to be. Cognitive distortions, he mused silently to himself, are the worst thing to ever exist. Especially when I have such a caring and loving family.
Outwardly, he smiled as a tear ran down his face. They all got into a big grup hug.
"I love you guys," he whispered to them. They didn't even need to say anything, he understood it now. They hugged tighter and he got the message.
We love you too.
OH MY GOSH IT'S FINALLY FINISHED! Sorry this too so long. I don't have many excuses except this is VERY long. I know the ending isn't that good but, hey, I tried. I hope you enjoyed this, as I enjoyed writing it. Any feedback is appreciated. I could do, maybe something like, a mini sequel where they all tell Thomas? I don't know, you decide! Thanks for reading!
--Ally
Literally 3926 Words
