"I want to leave." I shifted uneasily from one foot to the other. I was sure this was the right course in my head, but in my heart, It felt all wrong.

"Are you sure?" Professor Dumbledore asked. He looked a little confused, as if this had never happened before. "Why?"

"I'm not a witch." I replied frankly. "I know I have magical blood and I've done things before, but I just can't handle all this. It's to hard, too impossible. I'll never be able to do magic like the others. I'm pretty much a Muggle."

"But there are Muggles here at Hogwarts, and they can do magic as well as most Wizards or Witches." Dumbledore replied. "You were admitted to our school, you must have something."

"I can't… I-I can't" I shook my head hopelessly. My vision blurred and my eyes burned with hot tears. I wanted to stay, but it was a magic school, and I was anything but magical. I surreptitiously blinked back the tears.

Dumbledore sighed. "Sylistia, don't you think it's just a tad too soon to be giving up?" He stood up. "Almost no one is good at magic on the first day." He looked to Professor McGonagall, as if for help. She reached over and placed her hands gently on my shoulders.

"Sylistia, maybe you would like to think it over before you decide." She looked at me pityingly.

"No." I turned away, trying to wipe away my tears. "I don't even know where my common room is anymore! I can't do this, I suck!" It wasn't working anymore. The tears would not stay back. They poured freely down my face, and I couldn't make it stop. Professor McGonagall patted my shoulder comfortingly as I sobbed into my hands.

Dumbledore strode around the side of the desk and stood before me. "Sylistia." He waited for my sobs to die down, then he continued. "Miss Fawkes, I'll make a deal with you. Give it a week, just one more week, and if you still haven't seen any proof of your ability, I'll send you home."

It seemed like a reasonably request. I nodded in agreement and hiccupped softly. Dumbledore seemed satisfied. He sat back down at his desk and waved his wand. I looked up and he handed me a cup of tea. I drank it gratefully, thankful for something hot to burn away my grief. When I finished, McGonagall led me down to the dungeons. She left me at the stretch of wall that was really a door and returned upstairs. I choked back my emotions and stated "Serpensortia!" The wall opened and I crept inside. It seemed everyone had gone to bed. I didn't want to, though, tired as I was. I just didn't feel like it. I sat down in one of the big chairs in front of the fireplace and let the tears fall silently onto my robes. I felt pain ebb away in the warm streams on my face.

"Where were you?" The whisper was very soft, but also very close. I jumped and almost screamed. Severus Snape strode around from behind the chair. He looked down at me. I looked away. I didn't want him to see my eyes. "Have you been crying?"

I looked down at the arm of the chair, avoiding his scrutiny. He moved over a little and knelt down. Now he was looking up into my eyes. For a second, I saw a look of concern pass over his face. He leaned closer to me.

"Sylistia?" He inquired solicitously. "What is it? What's wrong?" He reached up and pushed a strand of my lackluster hair behind my ear, so he could see my face. He put his pale hand on my cheek. His hands were like sunlight, they were so warm! How could someone so cold-looking be so warm and soft. He stood up and moved to my side. He sat down beside me in the big chair. I wanted him to go, and yet I didn't. Emotions tangoed in my heart and thoughts battled in my brain. I just wanted to be alone so I could cry freely, but if Severus stayed, I feared he would see my tears. I hiccupped again, trying to hold out on myself, but his hand touched my face again. I tried to avoid looking at him, but my neck turned of its own accord. I gazed up into his black eyes and felt, for the first time since I'd arrived, safe.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Sylistia. I won't tell a soul. I promise." He looked down at me and I felt so secure. "Talk to me, Syl. You can trust me."

I couldn't help myself. I told him everything I had told the headmaster. I told him about trying to leave and about the deal Dumbledore had made with me. I divulged every emotion and thought I was feeling and sat there next to him, hiccupping and sobbing again. Before I knew what was happening, he had pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around me and I cried harder, knowing I could. He rocked a little as I wept wholeheartedly into his chest. He held me tightly as I bawled my heart out. I cried myself to sleep, rocking gently in his embrace.

Maybe it wouldn't work out. Maybe I would fail, but for the sake of a chance to stay and see what I was capable of, I'd hold out for the week. I wasn't going to give up. Not yet.